Part 2:

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not know any of the workers of the WWE personally nor am I affiliated with them in any way. This story is a work of fiction and I make no profit whatsoever from it.

Dean just sat in front of the screen, his blue eyes unable to tear themselves away from the large television that he and Seth owned. His left hand grabbed tightly at the arm of their black leather recliner while his right squeezed tightly onto another bottle of beer. He lifted the bottle to his lips, cursing when he realized that he had emptied out yet another one. He cursed and stormed off to their kitchen, his mind and heart racing a million miles an hour as he stumbled slightly towards their fridge.

Seth wasn't home of course and he probably wouldn't be for a few hours yet. The younger man had left for the gym a few hours ago but the argument the couple had before the other man left made Dean wonder if Seth would even come home. He let out a sigh while his mind wandered back those few hours. An uncomfortable pain in his chest while he closed his eyes and let out a sigh.

"Just come to the gym with me Dean. Please?" Seth's brown eyes were pleading with his boyfriend. If Dean didn't come with him today then that would be the tenth time in a row that the older man had refused him. The more Dean said 'no' the more and more concerned he grew for Dean's well being. "C'mon. You need to get out of this house."

"I don't need to do anything that I don't want to do." Dean snapped back. His blue eyes were cold and stood out dramatically. "I just don't feel like going again, okay?!"

"The old Dean wouldn't have made up excuses like this." Seth said quietly.

"The 'old Dean'" Dean used quotation marks with his fingers as he spoke. "wouldn't have refused you, no. Because the 'old Dean' was a WWE Superstar not some asshole whose a mechanic for minimum wage."

Seth sighed. "Dean."

"Don't fucking Dean me." Dean said sharply. "You get to be this elite Cross Fit athlete and I'm a fucking loser. Sorry that I don't feel up to going to the gym with someone whose better than me."

Seth closed the gap between them and gently rested a hand on Dean's strong shoulder. He flinched when his hand was shrugged off like it was an annoying weight. "Come with me please."

"Why? So you can show me up again and make me feel shitter about myself?" Dean asked. He gently placed a hand on his once toned stomach, the muscle slowly softening over the past few months. "You're the last person I want to make me feel worthless."

"Dean." Seth sucked in a hard breath. He was really starting to get more and more worried about Dean's mental health the longer he sat and did nothing. "I don't want to make you feel worthless. You know you mean everything to me. I just-" He felt the first tear roll down his cheek. The pressure and stress from the past few months finally cracking him. He took in a deep breath before he spoke, his heart rate slowing slightly. "I-I just want it to be like the old days with us sometimes. We never do anything like that anymore. I just want my old boyfriend back."

Dean felt his chest tighten as he watched and heard Seth pour his heart out. It literally hurt him to make Seth upset. "I didn't mean to upset you Seth. That's the last thing I'd ever want."

"You've only upset me because I'm so fucking worried about you!" Seth's voice rose in volume as he spoke. "Us getting fired wasn't just hard on you, you know! But I don't sit around moping, I'm out fucking trying to rebuild our lives!"

"And you think I'm not?" Dean snapped back. "I've got a fucking job and I'm working. Is that not good enough for you?"

"That's not what I meant!" Seth sighed loudly. "I can see that you're not happy and I'm fucking trying to get you back to being the man that I fell in love with. The man who held my hand through it all and has now given up on everything!" His heart was racing hard in his chest. This was the first time he'd actually said the words out loud, actually voiced his opinions that he thought something might be wrong with his older boyfriend. He swallowed hard. "I don't want you to feel like you're worthless or that you aren't good enough for me because you are. I just want you to be you again."

"If you're looking for someone to fix, it's not me. I was broken when I left the damn womb." Dean said sharply.

"I feel like I don't even know you anymore!" Seth yelled loudly. He could feel his emotions pushing right through his chest. He had to get out of here. At least at the gym he could tune it all out, focus on being the best athlete he could and not have to worry about home for an hour or so. "I'm going to ask you one last time to come with me. Please Dean?"

"No." Dean answered quietly. He could see the sadness as it washed over his love's face. "I can't go with you Seth. I'm sorry."

"You aren't sorry." Seth shook his head. He could feel the tears as they built up at the corner of his eyes. He wanted to see some sort of remorse wash over his boyfriend but was more than a little annoyed by the fact that there was nothing. "I might not come home from the gym."

The words stung Dean's heart like an ice cold slap to his face. He felt sick in his stomach just from the thought.

"Did you hear me? I might not come home." Seth's voice grew in volume once more. "Cause I can't fucking deal with your negative attitude to everything."

Dean still didn't say anything. It felt like his tongue was tied into a thousand knots. He wanted to tell Seth not to be so stupid, tell the younger man that they could work this out and that he didn't have to throw that threat out in the open. He couldn't even fathom being without Seth.

Seth didn't say another word either. He merely threw his hands up in the air and stormed out of the house, the door slamming hard, echoing and shaking the entire house.

Dean shook his head from the recent memory, his blue eyes opening to find himself staring at the inside of his fridge. He reached in and grabbed another beer off the second shelf. He groaned when he realized he only had a few of the alcoholic beverages left. He hadn't realized that he had that much to drink in the past few hours, the drinks blurring into one and shoving his focus away from himself.

He shut the fridge door and walked back into the living room where his television was. He threw himself back into the recliner. He twisted the top off of the slim bottle and lifted it up to his lips. The first trickle of the alcohol from a new bottle made him feel immensely better as he tried to focus on something, anything. The past few hours he'd been sitting on his chair flicking through the various channels. He hadn't really had a whole lot of motivation to do much at all recently other than sit in his chair and watch television after a long day at work.

The past few months had been hard on both of them but he had definitely taken it the hardest. He took another long sip of his drink as his mind flicked back through his memories. It was the hardest on both of them during the first week that that had left the company that they had worked so hard to get into. Those first few days back at home with nothing at all to do were hard. There were a lot of tears and nights where they just stayed up talking and planning what their next move would be.

Dean had encouraged Seth to go out and be this amazing Cross Fit athlete that the younger man had wanted to be since he had started working out at those gyms. But of course his career as a professional wrestler had always gotten in the way. Seth was so focused on becoming this athlete that it left Dean to scramble for his own new path in life. He didn't really have any skills as such outside of professional wrestling and he didn't have the desire to do anything athletic so he settled for a minimum wage job as a mechanic. A job that was okay but not what he really ever wanted to do professionally.

"And they're over the barricade! They're out with the WWE universe!" Michael Cole's voice cut through his otherwise silent house.

He looked at the television, actually watched it for a minute as the images of two men that he didn't even recognize battling away through the crowd of people who were loudly cheering them on flashed across the screen. He didn't know why he kept watching, the mere vision of what he loved to do making his stomach swirl uncomfortably. He'd been scrolling through the channels when he landed on a repeat of this weeks Raw. He tried to reason that he was waiting for Roman to make an appearance but that did little to console his broken heart.

He lifted the bottle up to his lips once more and took another long sip, draining most of the bottle in that one gulp. His head swam with insecurities among other feelings that he didn't think he'd ever be able to say out loud. He felt at his lowest when he couldn't even tell Seth why he was so damn upset all the time, why he struggled to get out of bed most mornings or even why he just had to have a drink every single day. He and Seth hadn't spoken about their unfair dismissals since that first week of being home and that affected him.

He took another long sip as he thought about Roman's last words to him. "Take care of him, won't you?" He couldn't even fucking do that. He knew what Seth wanted and needed and for five long years he had been that pillar of strength for the younger man. He'd been the one that Seth could always rely on, the one who was always there to be the bigger man, the one who would help Seth through everything. Not anymore. Dean knew he needed help but the mere thought of asking for it made him feel weak and pathetic.

He hadn't slept properly in weeks, his mind too focused on reliving the past and being unable to push through to the present and actually live. He'd been simply existing for much too long. Seth deserved better than some asshole who just sat at home on his days off and drank away his sorrows. He deserved better than someone who was too upset that they couldn't even go out and be the couple that they once were. He couldn't even be the man in bed anymore. He could hardly remember the last time they had had sex. He was acutely aware of the fact that he wasn't anywhere close to the man that had won Seth over all those years ago and he felt disappointed in himself.

"What are you watching that for?" Dean glanced over to the door. Seth was standing there with his arms folded tightly across his chest. His face was sweaty and his hair a black mess.

Dean shrugged. "It just came on. Roman hasn't been on yet."

"I don't think you should be watching it." Seth said quietly. He dropped his gym bag onto the floor next to him as he made his way over towards where Dean was. He gently sat on the couch that was next to him. "Dean. I want to talk to you."

Dean's eyebrows furrowed slightly. "About what?"

"About you." Seth answered quietly. "I'm worried about you. You were literally all I could think about while I was at the gym. That's probably why I had such a horrible workout."

"Sorry I ruined your workout." Dean said softly. His blue eyes were glazed over as they stared into Seth's chocolate brown orbs.

"Dean." Seth breathed out. He could feel his own tears building up as he stared into Dean's eyes. The eyes that he loved so much. He choked back his own emotions as he stared at Dean. He barely recognized those eyes anymore. "I'm really worried about you. You'd tell me if something was really bothering you, wouldn't you?"

Dean nodded. He couldn't bring himself to even speak, his tongue catching in knots once more.

Seth sighed heavily. "I'm going to have a shower and then I'll cook something for dinner, okay?"

Dean watched as Seth turned away and stood up. "Seth?" He felt the chocolate brown eyes lock back onto his. "C'mere."

Seth leaned down closer and was surprised when Dean gently caressed the back of his head before he pulled his head in close to his. His heart was beating rapidly in his chest as Dean leaned forward and pressed their lips together in the sweetest kiss he could ever remember having with the older man. He could taste the beer on his lips and he almost flinched away from it. Almost. He would have pushed the older man away if it hadn't have been the first kiss they'd shared in weeks.

He was a little disappointed when Dean pulled away from his lips. His skin felt like it was on fire, nerves crawling just from the simplest of kisses. His skin tingled when he felt Dean's hand gently run through his single coloured hair, the tips grazing his scalp and causing him to shudder involuntarily. It was almost embarrassing that he got so worked up from a seemingly simple touch "I'll be in the shower."

Dean watched his younger boyfriend walk away, the clothes sticking to Seth's muscular back in the most erotic way. He dropped his beer onto the coffee table next to him, not caring that it rolled off and landed on their carpet with a dull thud. He stumbled after his boyfriend, the alcohol swimming in his head and making him feel a little dizzy but that didn't deter him. It had been far too long since they'd done little more than hold each other occasionally while they slept.

He managed to make his way up the narrow stairs in their townhouse, his hand gripping the smooth wooden rail as he stumbled slightly up the staircase. He could hear the sound of the shower running from the bathroom down the hall and he quickened his pace. He closed the gap between the staircase and the open bathroom door and just stopped right in his tracks. He felt his mouth drop and his heartbeat increase as he looked into their simply decorated bathroom. He didn't pay any attention at all to anything else but the man who held his heart standing right there near the glass shower door in all his naked glory.

It was almost like the first time Dean had seen Seth completely naked all over again. The younger man was absolute perfection in his undressed state. Seth had never lost his muscular physique, the clear definition of his toned stomach hadn't changed a single bit in the almost six years they'd been together. It was perfect when they'd started dating and he knew that it would stay perfect until they were old and grey. His heart sunk as he glanced down at his own body. Even through the clothing he'd pulled on, he could see that he'd lost part of his own hard earned body, his stomach softening ever so slightly. He knew immediately that this was because he'd chosen alcohol as a coping mechanism for his problems instead of going to the gym. Not that he ever felt like going to the gym anymore.

He reached up and slammed the palm of his hand hard against the door jam. He lifted his eyes and saw the scared look in Seth's chocolate brown eyes. "Sorry." He mumbled.

"What are you doing in here?" Seth's voice was quiet as he turned to Dean so that he was face on. He felt his cheeks flush as Dean's blue eyes raked over every inch of his sculpted body.

Dean didn't speak. He lifted his gaze and locked them onto Seth's for the longest of moments, their chocolate and blue eyes locking and holding a private conversation that neither was ready to say out loud. He crossed the small room and pushed himself against Seth, his hands cupping the side of the younger man's face while their lips locked. Their kiss wasn't romantic this time. It held every single ounce of passion that Dean held, Seth's bottom lip opening almost instantly and allowing Dean's tongue to push inside of the warm, wet mouth.

Seth pushed back against the kiss, his naked body pushing into Dean's fully clothed one while his hands reached up to grab onto Dean's hips, holding the other man close. His brown eyes fluttered shut and he tilted his head to the side to allow Dean's tongue to push in further, taste everything that he had to offer. Even though the taste of several bottles of beer on Dean's tongue made him want to push the older man away and off him, he couldn't. He had to have this moment with the older man, enjoy the sensations and forget for a moment that they as a couple had a huge problem that neither were quite ready to deal with.

His fingers danced underneath Dean's shirt, nails scratching at the firm skin causing an involuntary groan to push into his mouth. His hands grabbed at the flimsy material and tugged the cotton t-shirt up and over his older lover's body. Their lips parted for the briefest of moments while Seth pulled the shirt off and he took this as a chance to look at Dean properly. The older man may not have looked as defined as he did when they were still wrestling but his torso was still something that got his heart racing. His chocolate brown eyes dragged across every inch of Dean's body, committing it to memory just in case this encounter was the last one for a while.

Their lips smacked back together as if their mouths were both full of magnets, both men grunting and groaning into the kiss as lips parted and tongues connected. Dean's hands slid down from the side of Seth's face all way down the younger man's body until they stopped right on Seth's rounded ass. His large hands grabbed as much of each cheek as he could and pulled the younger man in closer. His head was still swimming while he tried to concentrate on feeling how Seth was kissing him.

He was more than a little embarrassed that he couldn't even get hard. He and Seth had barely touched in the past few months and while he could feel Seth's erection pressing hard against the front of his jeans, he knew his own cock was lying flaccid in his briefs. He tried to concentrate on their kissing, push the negative thoughts and insecurities about his own manhood to the back of his mind but he was struggling. What sort of man could he be if he couldn't even get it up for his own boyfriend? He tried to push back his thoughts, knowing full well that thinking that way wouldn't help his problem one bit.

He felt his heart racing when Seth's hands moved to the front of his old pair of jeans. He felt the palm of Seth's right hand rub hard against where his flaccid cock lay, a sound of disappointment leaving Seth's lips as he discovered that Dean was nowhere near hard. Dean felt his cheeks colour and he just wanted to drop his head and hide. His breathing hitched and his heart thumped hard against his chest as Seth's hand crept inside of his jeans and wrapped his hand around his cock.

Dean let out a strangled moan from the simple touch. It had been way too long since they'd done this and even though he wasn't hard, the simple sensation still felt good. He broke the kiss and dropped his head into Seth's neck, his mouth and tongue attacking the other man's neck while Seth's hand moved up and down his cock, trying to get some sort of reaction to his touches. He felt his cheeks colour darker when after a few minutes he still wasn't hard. Not even close.

He felt a single tear roll down his cheek and he pushed his face in closer to Seth's neck. His hands left his boyfriend's ass and moved up to wrap around Seth's waist, his arms almost squeezing the breath right out of him. He felt another tear roll down his cheek as he pushed in even closer to the younger man. He felt beyond humiliated right now. Here he was with the love of his love and nothing. He just wanted to crawl into a hole and hide. "Sorry." He mumbled into Seth's neck. He felt the other man tense in his arms slightly and it only hurt his heart more. "I can't even fucking get it up for you."

Seth reached up and ran his hand through Dean's hair. He'd never really seen Dean like this. The man was the opposite of who he used to be. Not even a year ago it was Seth who was crumbling against Dean and it was up to the older man to hold him together. His heart lurched uncomfortably in his chest. It was hard to see his everything fall and he was supposed to be the one to pick him up when he didn't know how. He pulled his hand out from in between them and wrapped both arms around Dean, pulling him in closer. "It's okay Dean."

Dean pulled back from Seth's neck and for the first time Seth saw just how upset he was. His normally clear blue eyes were dull and bloodshot, the evidence of tears pooling at the corners of his eyes while there was also tear streaks running down his unshaven cheeks. "No it's not fucking okay. We haven't had sex in months and now that we finally both want it, I can't even get it hard for you." He snapped right in Seth's face. The brown eyes that were watching him wavered slightly. "I'm a fucking excuse of a man. I can't even do anything fucking right."

"No one said that." Seth said quietly. He could feel his own emotion building up inside of him and he was trying desperately to not let it spill out. "We don't have to have sex tonight."

Dean's blue eyes narrowed slightly. "Would you prefer it if we did?"

"I wouldn't say no to it. It has been a while since we have." Seth answered carefully. He didn't want to make Dean feel worse about himself over this. "But it doesn't matter if we don't have sex."

Another tear rolled down Dean's cheek as he stared at Seth. His heart was as heavy as his conscience right now. "I let Roman down."

Seth's brow furrowed. "How did you let Roman down?"

"He told me to take care of you and I'm failing." Dean answered as another tear rolled down his cheek. "I'm supposed to be the one who takes care of you and be strong all the damn time but I can't do it. I'm a fucking failure Seth and the worst part is I've let you down."

"You haven't let me down Dean." Seth answered honestly. "But I am worried about you. Please let me help you."

"The only thing I ever wanted to do in life was wrestle and it's all fucking gone Seth." Dean said sadly. "I can't ever get back into a ring after what happened in WWE and I don't know what to do or how to handle it." He paused and sucked in a deep breath. "I don't want to be a mechanic."

"Dean, you may never be able to wrestle again but you're never going to lose me, okay?" Seth started. His hands reached up and he cupped the side of Dean's face, holding the older man steady. "You don't have to be a mechanic if you don't want to be, you can be whatever you want and I'll be there by your side." He paused for a moment. "I know it's hard Dean, it still is fucking hard for me to deal with the fact that we both lost our dream jobs but I just try and focus on being the best Seth Rollins I can be without dwelling on the past."

Dean didn't say anything. His lips felt like they were glued shut as he thought about Seth's words. He knew that he was nowhere near being the best Dean Ambrose that he could be and it fucking hurt. His stomach swirled uncomfortably. He had no idea what the hell he was supposed to do and that only heightened his insecurities. His mind went straight to the beer he'd left downstairs. He'd kill to be able to have that right now and drink away his fears.

"You know that you can talk to me about anything, right?" Seth asked cautiously. He'd been watching Dean carefully and he'd seen the way that his older boyfriend's facial expression changed right in front of his to one of absolute defeat. It tugged at his heart to see the anguish on Dean's face. "And you know that I'll always be here to help you if you need it, don't you?"

"Yeah." Dean said so quietly that Seth almost missed it. "I'll, uh, I'll be downstairs. I'll help you make dinner when you're finished in the shower, okay?" He leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to Seth's lips that ended as quickly as it began.

"I'll see you soon." Seth responded. He turned his attention back to the shower and adjusted the water temperature before stepping in. From the other side of the glass, he watched Dean pull his t-shirt back on before leaving the room.

Seth's eyes squeezed shut and he turned to face the white tiled wall. He had tried so damn hard to hold back the emotions but now that he was alone, he could let it all out. He felt tear after tear roll down his cheek in a silent manner as the warm water rolled all over his body, digging into his sore muscles as he sobbed. He honestly had no idea what he was going to do.

He had to admit that he was a little upset that Dean couldn't even get an erection so that they could have sex for the first time in a few months but there was no way he was going to let the older man know that. It wasn't that he didn't feel wanted because he could see from the fiery look in Dean's eyes that the older man wanted it bad but the look of disappointment when Dean's cock wouldn't respond in his boyfriend's eyes was what hurt him the most. Dean just looked so sad and a little embarrassed that it crushed his heart.

He opened his chocolate brown eyes after what felt like an eternity before he bent down to pick up his shampoo. He squeezed an adequate amount onto the palm of his hand before lathering the soap through his hair and all over his scalp. His mind was rolling through a million different scenarios. He'd watched from afar the way that Dean had slowly and steadily shrunk away from him, pushing him away at every chance he got when he was only trying to help the other man.

He didn't even know how to approach the situation about Dean's drinking habits. Watching the man who held his heart steadily drink more and more each day was uncomfortable and it made him question what was really going through Dean's head to make him want to do that. The whole six years that they had been together, Dean had never had a problem with alcohol until they had been fired. The rate at which the older man was drinking daily had him concerned but whenever he tried to ask the older man to either seek help or at least open up to him, he was shoved away.

He'd gotten a bit of an insight into how Dean was feeling when the older man had told him he felt like a failure. To Seth, Dean could never be a failure. They'd put up with a lot during their relationship but Dean could never be called a failure. His whole heart belonged to Dean and nothing could ever change that despite what the future may hold. His heart sagged in his chest slightly as he contemplated the future, his entire being crumbling at the thought of not being with the other man.

Another tear rolled down his cheek. It was incredibly hard to try and help someone who didn't necessarily want it even though they clearly needed it. It was even harder to watch someone crumble while they refused the help that was offered to them. He had no idea how to handle this situation and the worst part was he had no one to turn to. He'd lost a lot of contact with his friends after leaving their last job and this was a problem he didn't really want to bring up with his family. They'd been rude enough when they found out about him and Dean that he didn't want this to be the final nail in the coffin of his family's opinion of Dean.

Seth didn't know if he could handle this.

TBC

A/N: so that was part 2. Part 3 will be coming along soon and will be a little bit darker than this. Thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing! GatesVengeance x