Ummm...so I have no excuse for updating so late. Except for, well, everything.
On another note, my team for something is going to Orlando...Harry Potter World HERE I COME!
Operations Booth, Police Plaza
"D'Arvit…Opal Koboi…strolls in here and hijacks my network…bills the LEP for the surveillance equipment that she's using to spy on us…gloating little pixie…think, Foaly, you're supposed to be smart!" Foaly muttered. "I bet she's watching me right now…" His eyes fell on the security camera hidden up in the rafters. Well, at least he now he knew from where.
Foaly scanned the room. There had to be some equipment that Opal Koboi hadn't bugged, yet…junk…junk…more junk…already bugged…
Suddenly, Foaly remembered Fowl's cell phone that he had confiscated. He was glad he had refused when the kid had asked for it back – he had initially planned to keep it and take it apart and see what he could find in there.
Faking an exaggerated cry, Foaly stumbled around blindly and fell underneath his desk, dragging a load of electronics and stationary along with him. Important documents, invention prototypes, writing utensils, coffee mugs, and the like all tumbled to the floor. Ceramic shards and tiny metal parts were flying everywhere, but Foaly didn't care. It provided even better distraction to whoever was watching him at the moment from the tiny little metal lump concealed in his hand.
Making loud, sobbing noises, and adding in one or two common expletives followed by "Cudgeon" or "Koboi" every now and then, just to make it a little more realistic, Foaly checked his location.
Four of his sides were blocked by the desk, one by the floor, and one by his own abnormally large horse backside. Thank you, genetics. The one place the security camera could not see.
Perfect.
Opening Fowl's cell phone, Foaly saw to his delight that it was still working. Oh, wow – he had even managed to work magical power into it, somehow. Foaly frowned in annoyance. He should attempt to try that, as well.
Hacking past the passcode was a piece of cake. Foaly suspected that Fowl had a secondary hidden data network where he kept all of the special information protected by much better security (because honestly, something as simple as a four-digit numerical password – meaning only 10,000 different combinations – was not Fowl's overly prepared, chessmaster style), but he didn't need any of that now.
All he needed was a means of communication, and he got one.
Still "sobbing," Foaly sent a quick text message directly to Commander Root and Captain Kelp's communicators.
The Inner Sanctum
"What's he doing under that desk, Opal?"
"My dear, I believe he's weeping…Look at our city, Briar. Goblins emerging from every dark shadow, armed and thirsty for blood. Softnose slugs ripping chunks away from those dreadful old statues…Ordinary fairies barricading themselves in their houses, praying the marauding gangs will pass them by…Businesses looted and torched…Oh, Briar, I've never had so much fun! I wish you were here to see it," Opal squealed in delight.
"So do I, but I must remain with my troops – the Council still believes Foaly responsible. Soon, you will miraculously override that centaur's controls. Police weapons will start working again, and that ridiculous goblin rebellion will be shut down. I will be the hero of the resistance…and you will own every military contract for the next five hundred years. Haven City will be ours, first…next, Atlantis…and finally, the surface," Briar Cudgeon cooed.
"Even better news," Opal purred gleefully. "When I sent the goblins to apprehend that magical Mud Boy, they also had Commander Root and Captain Short with them. Isn't that just so deliciously convenient? The fools put all of their eggs into one basket – and now that's gone! Isn't that right, Scalene?"
"Yep," the goblin rebellion leader hissed throatily, licking his eyeballs. Okay, so maybe he did exaggerate a little bit. But it was okay; he was still alive and the others were probably dead by now, and since Opal and Cudgeon were pleased they could probably give him money and a nice house once this was all over, too.
Commander Root's communicator beeped. "Well, this is new," he muttered, and opened it. There was a hastily written text message from Foaly.
CDR ROOT. TRBLE BELOW. HAVN OVERRUN BY GOBLINS. PLICE PLAZA SURROUNDED. CUDGEON/OPAL KOBOI BEHIND PLOT. NO WPONS OR CMMUNICATIONS. DNA CANNONS CONTROLLED BY KOBOI. I M TRPPD IN OPS BOOTH. CNCL THINKS IM 2 BLAME. IF ALIVE PLZ HELP. IF NOT, WRNG #. CNT RCIVE. ONLY SEND.
"Cudgeon! And Koboi! Why didn't I realize it?" Short hissed, seeing the text message from Foaly.
"Who?" Draco asked.
"A demoted fairy police officer and an evil genius pixie," Artemis explained. "And no, she's an actual Haven pixie, not those silly Cornish ones that Lockhart let loose first day of second year."
"She's more dangerous than Fowl," Root growled, "and that's saying something."
Draco swallowed nervously.
"Our only option, as of now, is to break into Koboi labs and return control of the weapons to the LEP," Artemis said.
"Break into Koboi Labs?" Root spluttered. "You're insane, Mud Boy, you know that? You can't be serious. That entire compound is built on solid bedrock. No windows, completely inpenetrable walls, and DNA cannons all over the place. It's impossible. The only person who's done it is Mulch Diggums, and he's in Howler's Peak – with the goblin rebellion and the possible jailbreak resulting, there's no telling where that convict is now."
"True," Artemis said. "And yet if Mulch Diggums could get in, Koboi Laboratories is not entirely impenetrable. Opal Koboi definitely did not break her nails building it herself – whoever did build it must have left trap doors to get in and out again."
"Yeah, but Opal's pretty smart – if she hasn't found those trap doors by now, then how will we?" Captain Short said.
"Magic," Artemis said simply. Although, if one was watching carefully, one could see him surreptitiously tuck a pair of sunglasses into his breast pocket and wink at Draco.
Police Plaza
They were completely surrounded, outnumbered, and outgunned. A few more minutes and it would be all over.
Trouble Kelp's communicator beeped to life. "What?" He opened it. Inside was a text message from...it was traced to Fowl's cell phone. Trouble's mind reeled until he remembered that it was the same one that Foaly had confiscated.
CPT. KELP. OPAL KOBOI/CUDGEON BHIND PLOT – CONTROL OF ALL NETWORK AND LEP WPONS. TRPD IN OPS BOOTH. IF ALIVE, PLZ HELP. IF NOT, WRONG #. CNT RCIVE ONLY SEND
Captain Kelp stumbled a bit. Here was Briar Cudgeon – and Opal Koboi – telling him that Foaly was guilty, only to have Foaly tell him the opposite. And if he had to choose who to believe…Trouble believed Foaly, because his intuition was never wrong. And because Cudgeon sent that troll in the other time.
The damned traitors! They had control of all the networking. This was not good. There was no way they could access the Council now, not when everyone was barricaded inside their own buildings.
The only thing they could do now was break Foaly out of there and hopefully apprehend Cudgeon before things got even worse. Maybe, with the centaur's help, they could somehow regain control of the LEP weaponry and communications before things got out of hand. Not that they weren't already out of hand.
"Everyone, guard Howler's Peak! Recharge as many of the old pulse weapons as you can find and hold off the goblins for as long as you can before they get to the blast doors! Techies to the ops booth! We need to get to Foaly," Trouble commanded.
"But I thought he was the one behind all this," someone said.
"He's been framed. Look out for Cudgeon and Opal Koboi – they're the ones we need to catch. Get to work, quickly!"
"Wait, how do you know this?" an idiotic rookie asked.
"DID I GIVE YOU A TASK OR NOT?" Trouble thundered in his most commanding military voice. He was at his wits' end. "I'M TRYING TO SAVE EVERYONE'S LIVES HERE AND YOU'RE SITTING AROUND ASKING STUPID THINGS AND QUESTIONING MY ORDERS? GET OUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ARSE AND GET TO IT BEFORE I KICK IT BACK UP INTO THE PROPER POSITION!"
"Yes, sir!" the recruit squeaked, and scurried off.
Trouble had everyone gather whatever tools they could find and begin to hack at the door leading into the operations booth. The iron doors were sealed shut – whether or not Foaly or Opal had done this…then again, if Foaly had trapped himself, he wouldn't be asking them to break him out.
Wherever Commander Root was, Trouble hoped that he was safe. What if Cudgeon and Koboi had already gotten to him? And what if Fowl had something to do with this entire mess? Trouble bit his lip and kept working. Foaly's text message hadn't mentioned the kid, so…
But that still didn't mean that he trusted Fowl. That kid could cheat his way through anything.
Operations Booth
"Ah, Foaly. There you are." It was Cudgeon again. Just the person Foaly wanted to see.
"Since I'm trapped in here with no way out, or even communicating with the outside world (not), yes, here I am," Foaly said, very annoyed. Cudgeon was wasting his precious time, trying to gloat – then again, he could use this to his advantage. Surreptitiously, he reached for Fowl's cell phone. "What do you want?"
"Oh, nothing, nothing. I just wanted to tell you…Speaking of the outside world, would you like to see what's going on? Since you've turned 'traitor,' a squad of LEP technicians are now hard at work, breaking into your booth. I imagine that when they succeed, there's a very good chance that you'll be tragically shot by some trigger-happy officer working for me."
Foaly made a very shocked face. Cudgeon seemed to believe him. Foaly congratulated himself and mentally gave himself an Academy Award. That's what you think, Foaly thought smugly, as the Trouble Kelp on the screen turned towards the security camera and winked at him. I got your message. He mouthed.
Good job, Trouble. Keep it up.
"Your dearest friends…Captain Short, Commander Root, and that Mud Boy, by the way…let's just say they got on the wrong side of a goblin hit squad. They're dead now. No reprieve. No rescue. No mercy. Just certain death. Like you."
Commander Root – Captain Short – the Fowl kid? Dead? No way. "Liar," Foaly gasped.
"Keep telling yourself that," Cudgeon said, smirking.
Foaly swallowed. There was no way those people could be dead. Root and Holly were both strong fighters. They wouldn't give up so easily. And Fowl was too clever of a cheater to die so simply, either. Cudgeon was just trying to cruelly mess with him for more revenge. Yeah. That had to be it. There was no way.
"And then what happens when I'm dead?" Foaly goaded. He needed to find out Cudgeon's plans. If Cudgeon had nothing to lose from him, then he'd brag all he wanted. He could still help Haven, even if the Commander was dead…but Foaly didn't want to think about that right now. He had to worry about that later. Cudgeon was definitely lying.
"Just when things are at their most desperate, I'll tell dearest Opal to return weapons capability to the LEP. The goblins will be swiftly beaten, and those that know of my involvement will be 'taken care of' permanently," Cudgeon bragged. "We'll be hailed as heroes, and the Council will return to me what was rightfully mine. Meanwhile, you will have been labeled as a dishonorable traitor for instigating this event. And Commander Root and Captain Short, who abandoned their posts when Haven needed them the most, will be dishonored, too. All those people who ruined me with that entire Mud Boy fiasco…they will be reckoned!"
"And then you'll be ruler of the universe and Koboi will be your empress, right?" Foaly asked, outwardly sarcastic, but subconsciously goading Cudgeon to continue.
It worked.
Cudgeon decided right then and there to blab the most important bit of information of all.
"Koboi? My empress? Foaly, do you think I'd go through all this trouble just to share power? Oh, no. I fear that soon after, Miss Koboi will have a tragic accident. Perhaps several. Enjoy your final moments, Foaly. I will." And with that, the screen crackled again, and Cudgeon disappeared.
Foaly smirked to himself. That's assuming that I'll actually die. Thanks, Cudgeon. I just recorded that entire speech on Fowl's phone. Now all I need to do is figure out how to use it against you – which shouldn't be too hard.
The Inner Sanctum
Opal leaned back and smirked.
Cudgeon thought he was so smart. Well, she would prove him wrong.
She knew. She wasn't stupid. Like she had ever trusted a man to do anything.
No, while those fools in Haven were preoccupied with the goblins, she had even more things up her sleeve.
She grinned as blue sparks danced along her fingertips.
Only, the sparks were no longer the pure blue of the fairies anymore. Now they were tinged with a sickly green.
A/N: QUICK! THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT TO THE FOURTH BOOK, WHICH I AM PLANNING RIGHT NOW!
Vote on a name from the following list: Alexander, Genghis, Hannibal, Cyrus, Charlemagne, Frederick.
(Whaaat? A bunch of dead guys who managed to conquer a buttload of people? WTF is Artemis getting up to now?)
You'll see…MUAHAHAHA – *brick*
No, seriously, though. Who has the best name? (P.S. I was going to add Caesar, too, but Julius was already taken.)