Thanks for all the responses! I really appreciate it. Without further ado, here are the naming results!
Alexander - 26
Charlemagne - 11
Cyrus - 9
Hannibal - 4
Genghis - 4
Frederick - 1
Napoleon - 1
Well, clearly, Alexander won by a landslide, so...Alexander it is.
Underground Somewhere
"I still don't get why we had to bring another Mud Boy along," Root growled. Draco wrinkled his nose at being called something abnormally close to "Mudblood," but he didn't say anything. Still, Artemis noticed his grumpy expression.
"Don't worry, Draco," Artemis explained. "They call all humans that."
Captain Short, walking next to Root in the front, sighed. "He already saw us and we didn't have the time or technology to mind-wipe him. We made the deal. We've been through this a dozen times already."
"I know!" Root snapped. "It was a rhetorical question!"
"Well, stop asking it," Holly replied. "I know you're my commanding officer, but I would like to point out that complaining about something that you personally agreed to is very unbecoming for someone in a position of power – someone who is supposed to take responsibility for his own decisions."
"Short?"
"Yes, sir?"
"Shut up."
They were currently walking through an abandoned shuttle pod chute that had long been cleared out. Conveniently, it led directly to Koboi Laboratories, which had been built right next to it. The purpose was painfully obvious, and it was a rather heavy breach in security, but Koboi must have judged that the rest of her plans at the time were foolproof anyway. The labs had, after all, been built a few centuries ago, and she probably hadn't anticipated any dealings with humans or wizards. If she had, then she could have only updated the building itself and not the location or foundations.
"I'm telling you, there's no way in," Root muttered.
"I don't know how Mulch got in underground, but Koboi definitely would have left a little backdoor escape plan for herself if she ever got trapped in her laboratories when pulling a stunt like this…" Artemis said. Using the enchanted sunglasses, he scanned the building. By now, he had modified them to track any sort of movement, see through both wards and magical disguises, and even translate written languages on sight. He had also perfected a zooming and recording option, and was currently working on spelling the temple pieces to translate spoken languages as well. They were all under a Disillusionment Charm – Artemis was fairly certain that camouflage foil and the fairy shield could be picked up by security cameras, but when one magically caused himself to become perfectly transparent…
"Eureka," he murmured to himself.
"What?"
"There's a little escape pod from the roof," Artemis said. "She must have had a brilliant backup plan – if everything failed, she could at least still escape to the surface. No one would suspect her of going that way, and by the time they sent someone after her, she'd be long gone. That's why it's constructed right next to this abandoned shuttle pod chute."
"Are you saying we should go in through her private hangar?" Holly asked.
"It's better than the front door," Artemis said. "Koboi has built the main gate to keep people out. Even a Disillusionment Charm can't fool her scanners, since it's meant to discover invisible but still solid or at least moving objects, like the LEP wearing cam-foil. Her escape hangar, however…that was built for a quick and stealthy getaway. She won't have as many protections around there. Firstly, it was meant for leaving from, not entering through. Secondly, any security she puts there to keep people out would also mean security keeping her in. If the laboratories had somehow come under police surveillance, and the central alarm system was taken over, she wouldn't want them to know where she was leaving from."
"Okay, smart enough, Mud Boy. But here's a question. How are we even going to get onto the godforsaken roof?" Commander Root asked. "You can't even touch these walls without setting off an alarm."
"A Freezing Charm on the sirens on the outside should take care of the audible alarm system," Artemis said. "The motion sensors have also been installed externally, so we should be fine. The alarms that we can't reach on the inside don't cover this side of the wall. Even though we're invisible, we might have to take them out since the Disillusionment Charm doesn't prevent shadows."
"Aren't you more worried about using underage magic outside of school?" Draco asked.
"How are they going to find out?" Artemis asked. "We're miles belowground. I don't think the Ministry of Magic has enough foresight to extend their jurisdiction this far underneath the surface."
"Well, we haven't received any owls yet," Draco mused.
"Trust Fowl to get around the Mud Man rules as well," Captain Short muttered.
Artemis and Draco began sending Freezing spells at the sensors around Koboi Laboratories. Since Draco didn't know much about "mechanical wards," Artemis just told him to hit "the little round bells with the light in the middle."
"Do you see any hidden inside of the walls?" Draco asked.
"There's only two on each wall. Their operation doesn't extend past the respective walls, though, and I already got the ones on our side, so we should be safe." Artemis went up to the walls and threw a piece of discarded gravel up against the walls of Koboi Laboratories. Nothing happened. "We can begin our ascension now."
Commander Root and Captain Short nodded and pulled out their grappling hooks. They attached it to the roof of the lab, and slowly began climbing up. Draco grabbed on to the Commander's rope and scaled it quite easily (thanks to his Quidditch training) along with the other well-trained elves, but Artemis was having a harder time. The others were already at the top by the time he got halfway up the wall.
The Inner Sanctum
Opal sighed.
"Penny for your thoughts, dear?" Cudgeon asked.
"Nothing, nothing," she said, keeping up the sweet, unsuspecting act. After seeing the blue-eyed boy on the screen, she had suddenly been assaulted with memories of an old nightmare of hers. It had been stupid, really. She had been young and foolish then, scared by some stories cooked up by her subconscious. But they had been there…and by the gods, it really had been terrifying. Almost like…almost like they were real. Almost like she had experienced it firsthand.
Opal couldn't remember much of it exactly. She did remember a little bit. She had traveled to the end of the Universe, somehow. That part had been fun; she had always been interested in science and exploration. (And they said she couldn't do it because she was a girl. Well, she showed them, didn't she?) But then, she had seen that Mud Boy there – he had looked familiar, yes. Or perhaps he had just been some stereotypical Mud Man, and she was simply associating his features with that of the faceless dream persona because the Fowl Boy had simply been the first Mud Man to encounter the People. Yes, that had to be it. There was no such thing as those…fortune teller seeing-into-the-future tales. Besides, there had been quite a few other people there, too, and she never had been able to assign any faces to any of them.
She did remember that Mud Boy doing something, though. Something had happened. And she remembered something about spiraling into oblivion, being forgotten by history forever. She wasn't sure what. But she did know that if there was one thing she didn't want, it was to be forgotten. Immortality…of course it was the obvious choice when the only other alternative was nonexistence, and both of them were forever.
"Oh, come now," Cudgeon said softly.
"I told you, it's nothing," Opal replied curtly. "I was just reminiscing, that's all. I knew I would be destined for greatness as a child, but never this much."
Because as stupid as dreams were, Opal had sworn to herself then that she would never be forgotten. Never, not ever. She would hammer herself into the memories of all living things. Even if she did die, even if she was overthrown, somehow, they would still know her, and remember her, and her history, for eons to come. Of that she was certain.
The end of the Universe be damned.
"You know, for someone so smart, you have terrible physical ability," Captain Short commented once he finally got to the top. "Your friend Draco here had to freeze the roof security cameras and motion sensors all by himself."
"You can thank me later, Artemis," Draco said smugly.
Artemis was too out of breath to argue. She was right – if he wanted to live through situations like this, he really needed to gain some degree of muscle. Under normal circumstances, he would have scoffed at the idea of physical training – he was a strategist, not an executioner. Then again, if he was ever caught by surprise and Disarmed, he would have to be able to run pretty quickly.
The hangar was sealed shut. "See anything past there, Artemis?" Draco asked.
"There is one security cameras and motion scanner, pointing to the inside," Artemis noted, adjusting his glasses. "Our problem is, we will definitely set off the alarm if we break down the metal sheets. It's a one-way entrance sort of thing."
"I could magically dissolve the metal, and as soon as there's an opening, you can freeze the alarms before they sound," Draco suggested. "We have to time this perfectly, though."
"All right." Artemis positioned himself at a direct angle from the internal security system. "I actually have to fire the spell first before you blast down the door, in order for it to reach the sensor before the alarm sounds. Hopefully Koboi is too busy watching Haven City to hear the noise."
Draco nodded. "3…2…1…"
"Bombarda!"
"Immobulus!"
As planned, the sliding doors exploded just in time for the freezing charm to pass through into the vertical tunnel, shutting down the security sensors. Not wasting a second afterwards, Commander Root and Captain Short reattached the grappling hooks and began lowering themselves down. This time, Artemis had less trouble. Sliding downwards was easier than climbing up, since gravity did most of the work.
They landed quietly at the bottom of the hangar. "What the heck? Koboi has a nicer escape pod than the main LEP shuttles!" Holly hissed indignantly. "Foaly should really get his grip together – wait until he sees all of the stuff Koboi has that he doesn't. That little…"
"How do we even get past the garage door?" Root asked. "Koboi didn't spare any expenses here, either – she's using biological security. You need an exact thumbprint."
"Is it a physical gel match or digital conversion match?" Artemis asked.
"Digital conversion. The physical gel types would have been too obsolete for Koboi," Root said, examining the device.
Artemis sighed. "If only I had my cell phone."
"Your what?" Draco asked.
"Never mind."
"Why would your cell phone help?"
"I used it to hack into the LEP main files," Artemis confessed. "There are fingerprint records of every inhabitant in Haven. I could have hooked it up into the box and fed it the information instead."
"You hacked into – "
"Come to think of it, Foaly still has my phone," Artemis said. "It's probably how he managed to contact you, even though Koboi and Cudgeon are controlling the entire communication network."
Root threw up his arms in surrender. "That's it, Fowl. I give up on trying to figure you out."
"You wouldn't be the first. I've committed many of the world's greatest psychologists to their own asylums."
Holly sighed. This useless talk was going to get them nowhere. "All right, you two, shut up. Fowl, we don't have your precious cell phone with us right now, so you better figure out a new way to open this door."
"The blast-and-freeze method won't work this time," Artemis noted. "There are too many security cameras and goblin guards."
"Then we shoot our way in and fight for our lives, until we get into the inner sanctum," Commander Root said. "We've come this far, don't tell me you're afraid of a little combat."
"What about the DNA cannons?"
"Tricky. If the cannon's sensors are set for you, then you're dead. They're programmed to target entire species, though, and Koboi has to pretend right now that she's just as defenseless as the LEP, so I'm betting they're not active."
"Tell me, Draco. Why are you still here, helping us? You don't have to, Mud Boy," Captain Short pointed out.
"Trust me, this is much better than being on the receiving end of my father's temper," Draco muttered. Artemis began to wonder what Draco's life was really like at home.
"Gentlemen – and lady – it's been a pleasure," Commander Root said.
Two (highly trained and deadly) LEP officers and two (exceptionally skilled) underage wizards versus two hundred goblins, a genius pixie, and a sociopathic ex-officer.
This was going to be close.
The Inner Sanctum
"Intruders! Inside the building!" Opal screeched. Alarms were blaring.
"Where are they? I can't see them," Cudgeon said.
"They must have some sort of invisibility device," Opal growled, trying to freeze the frames, but to to avail. "They blasted their way right through my garage door, for heaven's sake!"
"I see four shadows running down the corridor," Cudgeon said. "Can we activate the DNA cannons?" he hissed to Opal.
"Not yet. They've been programmed to target goblin DNA once this is all over," she responded. Cudgeon sighed.
"General Sputa, send an armored hit squad up from behind and another one from the flank. Aim for the shadows," he barked.
"Yes, sir."
Koboi Laboratories
"I've been in here before, for a security check a few decades ago," Root said. "The Inner Sanctum is at the end of the fifth corridor around this corner."
A rumbling of footsteps were heard around that very bend. "D'Arvit! They know we're here!" Holly whispered. "What do we do now?"
"Stun our way through," Draco said serenely. "They won't know what hit them. And maybe that Koboi person will mistake the jets of light for those – what do you call them? – lazy-ers."
"And if she doesn't?" Captain Short asked sharply.
"Well, have you got a better plan? They're coming right now. Brute force is all we've got."
"How can you be so calm?" Captain Short snapped.
"Look, judging from those flying goblins, I think that these fellows are just as much dumb mooks as the others," Draco said. "Even though we're heavily outnumbered we've still got an advantage. Besides, we have to be calm. What help will going bonkers do?"
"Fine, Mud Boy. If we die, it's your fault," Captain Short snapped.
A/N: The name will be a big part of the next book. Not the historical figure behind it, really, but the character to be named after one of these guys. You'll either love it or hate it, but either way it's going to be a big, fun twist. Or...maybe not.
Status update: Books 4-7 general plotline are all finished. Details for Book 4 are done. Details for Book 5 are in progress. Naturally the hardest part is actually creating a chapter out of those details, but...rest assured, everything is going to start coming together. I hope you guys have good memories because all of those supposedly random details from all those years ago are going to come back! ^^