C/N: At the time of cancellation, Smash 4 had dropped, I started college, my writing style changed, and the story had been on hiatus for almost a year. Despite how childish this is though, I can't bring myself to delete it since it's still getting favs for some reason. But seriously, thank you all for reading. You made this a great story.
3:00 PM, Smasher Standard Time
Welcome Master Hand. You have thirty-five unplayed messages. Playing message one:
(beep)
Um, hello, this is the Game International Postal Service. A large package for your address arrived yesterday. We'll hold it for seven days before it is removed from our warehouse. Thank you for supporting our services.
(beep)
It's Pikachu. I'm in town and I'm lost. Could you please send someone to rescue me? I'll be waiting at Skal-mart; have the front desk page me. Thanks.
(beep)
It's Toon Link. What's hanging from the ceiling in the main hall?
(beep)
Mewtwo calling. Is there any chance you might reconsider me being a smasher? I feel the need to seriously beat some smasher ass.
(beep)
It's Peach with the daily grocery list! I really hate this job…do you need anything?
(beep)
It's Ness. I know we have a lot to take care of already, but…why couldn't we have another pet in the mansion?
(beep)
Yo, MH! You wanna play some poker? We're down in the lounge!
(beep)
There's turtles on sale at the pet store; we could get one of those…
(beep)
And—and they're giving away a monkey from the same place! Could we have him? Please? He needs a good home!
(beep)
Please make DDD stop whining about his 'D-D-Delicious cereal'. He's annoying and he sounds like a baby.
(beep)
It's Samus. Have you seen Snake?
(beep)
IT'S DDD AND I'M FRESH OUT OF MY CEREAL! I NEED MOOOOOORE!
(beep)
Snake here. What are today's brawl schedules? They might need to be adjusted a little…
(beep)
Hi Wario! It's mom! How are you doing today?
(beep)
Master Hand, this is the phone company. Your bills are five days late.
(beep)
Master Hand, this is AAPCO power company. Your bills were due five days ago. Pay up or we turn your lights out for good.
(beep)
Master Hand, this is the water company. You're eight days behind in your payments.
(beep)
Master Hand, this is the internet company. We have successfully received your payment.
(beep)
To our valued customer: This is Skal-Mart. Check out our website for the deals of the week!
(beep)
It's Nana! Did you hear the latest remix from 'NightcoreToday'?
(beep)
THREE! TWO! ONE! PENGUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINS!
(beep)
This is Lucario and I need a vacation.
(beep)
It's Zelda. Where did the couch in the lounge go…?
(beep)
Hey, Master Hand, it's Toon Link again. Isn't computerized spider solitaire awesome?
(beep)
Do the butt scootch boogiiiiie!
(beep)
It's Popo…I think someone turned the furnace on…AND I'M BAKING!
(beep)
Hey Master Hand, it's Jigglypuff. You wouldn't happen to have some cash on you, would you? About $200? Noctowl City is going to be playing live at the main arena and I might need a bribe to get in…
(beep)
Erm, Master Hand? It's Bowser…Why did you have me move the couch in front of Wario's room?
(beep)
Zelda calling. We girls are thinking of outsourcing the cooking to other sources. Have you heard of Entei? He sounds like a pretty good cook, despite being a giant, fire-breathing lion.
(beep)
Welcome to Cupiddotcom! We have a large network of single losers!
(beep)
This is the International Sock Monkey Preservation Museum. We would love to thank you for your generous donations!
(beep)
Haha, DDD! This is message number 95! I told you I had time to spa—oh, wait, it's Master Hand? I have to go; I'm really busy all of a sudden.
(beep)
Master Hand, Yoshi ate all the fruit!
(beep)
Who ya gonna call?! Luigi! And before you protest, how else are you going to get that infestation of ghosts out of the attic? I have a very reasonable service charge…
(beep)
Hey Master Hand, it's Ness…you know the monkey from the pet store? The one that always stars in commercials? Well…he might be a guest here for a while…don't worry, he'll be fine; it's part of a pet foster home program. I'll take good care of him, I swear!
(beep)
It's Pikachu. You did send someone after me…right?
End of message thirty-six. End of messages. Press 1 if you want to save these messages. Press 2 to delete single messages. Press 3 to delete all messages. Press 4 to—
Messages deleted. No more messages currently available.