Welcome Master Hand. You have 49 unplayed messages. Playing message one:
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Master Hand, it's Pit. I can't say who, but somebody wants to buy a pet bull. In case you couldn't tell, I greatly oppose the plan.
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Ohhhhhh…Master Hand…it's Kirby…make…Jigglypuff…not…make…the terrible…spinach…soufflé…for dinner…Aggghhhhh…
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Master Hand, this is Lucario. AGAIN. NO, I would NOT like to be roomates with Mario and Luigi, either. No offense to them, but I'm not completely sure that they aren't pyromaniacs, what with the FIRE flowers and all.
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Oh, and I'm not interested in sharing a room with any of the newbies, either! Don't make me share with anyone! Just—
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This is Hoovers Unlimited, calling to confirm your purchase. Your products, 4 blue standard D14-2X vacuums and 2 black Super-Sucker 4U-28 will arrive sometime next week. Thank you for supporting our services.
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As I was saying, just STICK ME OUTSIDE IN A TENT AT THAT POINT!
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-sobbing- Master Hand! -sniffles- Stop it! My name is BOWSER, not BROWSER! Turn off the spellchecker or something! I'm tired of this! Waaaaaaaaaaahh!
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Master Hand? It's Pikachu. Why do you need five sets of glittery cupcake punchouts?
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Master Hand, this is Captain Falcon. DDD is ripping off my FALCON PUNCH! and it's getting annoying! Penguins are nowhere near as awesome as FALCONS!
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Starfy here. Since it doesn't look like I'm getting in this year either, I hooked up with that nice pokѐmon, Skitty Simmy. I'll be here if you ever need me… -sighs-
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GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! MASTER HAND! IT'S DDD! SOME FOOL IS PRANKING AROUND WITH A BUNCH OF KETCHUP! THIS IS THE THIRD ROBE I'VE GONE THROUGH TODAY, AND MY CAP IS ON THE BRINK OF D-D-DESTRUCTION! I DEMAND WITH MY KINGLY POWERS THAT YOU RIGHT PUNISH WHOEVER IS DOIN' THAT! YOU WANT A NAKED PENGUIN RUNNING AROUND BECAUSE HE RAN OUT OF CLOTHES?!
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It's Pit. SOMEBODY covered my weapons with cooking oil and butter spray. I know you have security cameras in the halls, so…may I?
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Hee hee hee hee hee…Master Hand, this is Yoshi. Those fatso-s DDD and Wario kept eating all my food stashes, so I used some ketchup and miniature firecrackers that I bought from Mewtwo and Uxie to get my fruity revenge!
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And yes, tomatoes ARE fruit!
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Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii—Oopsie, dialed the wrong number.
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Wario, I already told you that I'm SO not interested. If it wasn't for the fact that you cause a few good laughs, I'd have already kicked you out of the
kingdom!
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Shit! Luigi, you loser! Why'd you turn me on to a game I'm no good at?! Now Ganondorf is calling me an idiot and regular Link won't leave me alone about it!
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Meta Knight? This is Luigi. Here's the deal. I loan you my monstrous Chain Chomp from one of my karting circuits in exchange for temporary charge of the Halberd. Sound good to you? Oh, and no matter what, don't tell Master Hand. I had to call you quick so that nobody else overheard and—somebody's coming!
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Valued customer, this is Great Gardens. Our tour is coming to your town next Friday. Be sure to stop by for special deals!
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It's Yoshi again. The tomato spray is working awesome! Just don't go into the bathroom or by their rooms!
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Master Hand, this is Jirachi. I have several things for you to do today. One, order me some horror movies and soap operas—new condition, please! Two, ask Peach or Luigi to bake me one of those special pies. Three, UN-RIG THESE STUPID KETCHUP THINGS OR I'LL STRANGLE YOU!
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Master Hand, this is ROB. I'd like to politely and calmly inform you that THE DAMN LAWNMOWER IS GOING BERSERK AND OLIMAR IS GOING TO BE PISSED.
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MASTER HAAAAAAAAAND! THIS IS MY LAST ROBE!
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EEEEEEEEEEEEE! Master Hand! It's frickin' COLD down here! I'm tired of helping you with your idiotic side tasks! Get me and my pokѐmon out of here before we're reducing to burning our way out!
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Master Hand? This is Olimar. WHO LAST USED THE LAWNMOWER?!
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This is Hocotate Freight. We'd like to contact Olimar, if at all possible. We may have another assignment for him…
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New at Game Board Pizza—Chocolate Lava Cakes! Exploding with chocolate!
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This is Sonic. I'm speeding down to the library with Link and ROB for their juggling class. Need anything immediately? I can definitely get it to you fast enough!
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Master Hand? This is Peach. Entei got called away, so it would be nice if you could assign a little cooking party to help us.
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Hey Master Hand. It's Wolf. I was just eavesdrop—I mean, I overheard Peach saying that she needed help in the kitchen. I just wanted to let you know that I can't cook anything to save my life—seriously! I mean it!
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MASTER HAAAAAAAAAND! THIS IS MY LAST ROBE!
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Master Hand? It's Starfy again. Simmy wanted to know why you hadn't stopped by for lunch yet. She's a little worried about you.
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Wa-ha-haaa! Master Hand, why haven't you made me a smasher yet? I mean sure, I haven't appeared in any of the 'mainstream' Mario games, but I'm Waluigi! I'm number 1!
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This is the ANGRY BIRDS! We would STILL like to know WHEN we will be appearing in your game!
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Master Hand? It's Ness! You know how Lucario can't find anyone he likes to share a room with anyone? He could share a room with me and Bananas! I'm sure he'd love it!
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ROB here to report the major damage to the front yard and the lawn mower. The yard has a few ruts in it, and Peach's flowers are ruined, but other than that, nothing's destroyed. I can't say the same for the lawn mower. Its next stop is the electronic waste. Oh, and OLIMAR IS OUT TO DESTROY SOMEBODY FOR HURTING HIS PIKMIN.
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Master Hand! Who do you think I am?! I'm NOT sharing a room with Samus either!
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Master Hand? It's Jigglypuff. You mind if I sing tonight? (For anyone who doesn't know: Jigglypuff's singing can put anyone to sleep. ANYONE.)
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This is your local public library calling to thank you for your recent donations. On a side note, almost all your residents' overdue book fees are through the roof.
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BOOOOOGH!
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MASTER HAND! IT'S THE NEW SMASHERS! THANK YOU FOR LETTING US COME! WE WON'T BE ANY TROUBLE, WE PROMISE!
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Master Hand? This is Marth. The mansion wants to know if it would be all right going out for supper to that new place with the lava cakes.
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Hey Peach, it's Popo. You said you had some spare paint left over?
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I'LL DESTROY THE WORLD WITH PAPER AIRPLAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!
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Mewtwo calling. I didn't get my night lights yet. WHERE. ARE. THEY.
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Nana? It's Master Hand. I swear to drunk that I'm not God, mise-pro!
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Call 1-800-STEAMER! Stanley Steamer gets your home cleaner!
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Master Hand? It's Doctor Mario. If it's not too much trouble, I'd like another pay raise.
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End of message 49. End of messages. –
Beeeeeeep.
Messages deleted. No new messages available.