Playing message 218:
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Hey. Master Hand. Have you seen THE BEARD lately?
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This is Team Rocket. GIVE US ALL YOUR POKEMONS!
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This is Team Magma. GET RID OF THE WATER! …Oh, and give us all your pokѐmon.
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This is Team Aqua. GET RID OF THE GROUND! …Oh, and give us all your pokѐmon.
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This is Team Galactic. DESTROY THE ENTIRE PLANET! …And give us all your pokѐmon.
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This is Team Rocket again. WHY DIDN'T YOU GIVE US YOUR POKЀMON?!
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Ewwwww…Master Hand, it smells like a gross bomb just went off in the Villager's room! Hasn't he ever heard of a closet?
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Master Hand, this is the Villager. That's just Cyrano's bamboo flooring that he gave me. He said the smell gave it its value.
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Stop by Linebeck's Voyager Shipyard! Everything you need for an adventure, including expert advice from Linebeck himself!
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Nintendo! Why didn't you make a Starfy 3D game yet?!
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Master Hand… -finger snap- …It's Mistress Hand. Where have you been the last decade?
(At this, Master Hand felt like answering 'hiding in Kirby's dimension making occasional cameos like those in Amazing Mirror', but that would've given his location away.)
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Master Hand, there's a piece of broccoli running around the lounge, and…hey, that's my phone—
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MASTER HAND! TAC IS STEALING ITEMS! AND NOT JUST ANY ITEMS! HE'S STEALING—HEY, GIVE THAT BA—
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Master Hand! It's Captain Falcon! I'm two minutes late for my TV show! Now I missed it!
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Uh…Master Hand? Why is Captain Falcon watching 'My Little Pony'?
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DON'T COMPLAIN! YOU DON'T KNOW HOW AWESOME IT IS!
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Master Hand, it's Marth. Screw you. Who cares if I brush my hair any more? It's not like I needed to, outside of the fact that I was trying not to end up like...never mind...
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MASTER HAND! DO YOU WANNA HAVE TO HAVE A FREAKING MILK TRUCK COME BY HERE?! TELL META KNIGHT TO STOP DRINKING ALL THE MILK!
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Master Hand, it's uh…Kirby and Meta Knight...Okay, it's just Meta Knight. I'm taking a vacation for a little while; bye.
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Master Hand, it's Yoshi. If you do not let me go to the all-you-can-eat-buffet tonight, I will continually taunt across your phone line and fill up your answering machine space.
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AGH! Master Hand, it's Toon Link! Why, oh WHY is the two of spades always at the bottom of the pile?!
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Mm! Master Hand, it's Jirachi. You gotta love this jazz remix of the Enemy Battle Theme from SMB3!
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Master Hand? It's Mario. Do you need anything at Moger's?
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Master Hand, it's Pikachu. Do you need anything at Skal-Mart, or any other stores? I am not being replaced as head shopper for the girls. It has too many, uh, perks…
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Master Hand, there's a ruckus going on in the main hall. What's happening down there?
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HAHAHA! I'm the best! (Luigi's victory line from Mario Party 4 and 5.)
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Master Hand, Luigi really IS the best. That green guy caught that TAC ninja! I got my phone back!
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Master Hand, this is Bowser. My stuffed rabbit is NOT white! Well, okay, he was before I got him dirty, but HE'S NOT WHITE NOW!
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Get a 50% off coupon to Jolene's by taking an online survey!
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Hey Master Hand, it's Nana! All the best jumpers are having a jump rope contest in the lounge! But since most of them are pretty small, should we get a bigger jump rope for Yoshi and Dedede? All the ones we have are the ones we borrowed from Kirby and Meta Knight…
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Check out the newest hairdo—the hot-knots!
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Master Hand, it's ROB. I told you not to buy anything made by DELL, but you didn't listen to me…
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End of Messages. Press…HAHAHA, you believed me, didn't you?! Yeah right!
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Master Hand, this is Olimar. WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT A WEEDWHACKER?!
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Master Hand! SINCE WHEN did Meta Knight have a gigantic chain-chomp?!
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Master Hand! SINCE WHEN does Luigi know how to fly the Halberd?! -Hey, don't shoot me! I'm just—
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Master Hand! SINCE WHEN does everybody use the caps lock on 'SINCE WHEN'?!
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Hey Maestro Hand? This is Jirachi. Nice deodorant.
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MASTER HAND! HEEEEELP!