Okay - so I missed the cutoff for this being posted during the weekend in my time zone by about an hour and a half... let's just pretend I live in California and that it's only 11:26pm on Sunday night instead of 1:26am on Monday morning in Minnesota shall we?

Happy reading and enjoy :D

JJ sat on the couch with her head in her hands. Her fingers wove in and out of the long blonde curtain of hair that hung across her face. She wished she could rewind a few hours ago to the hospital waiting room in Boston and somehow change things. Then she wouldn't have to do what she was going to have to do as soon as Spence was out of the shower…

She'd never forget the crushed and heartbroken look on Spence's face after having broken the news that 'she never made it off the table'… and then just seconds after Spence started sobbing she'd had to pull away so that she could slip through the doors to the exit hallway to discuss the details of Emily's covert exfiltration with Hotch.

"How soon can Emily be ready to move?" Hotch asked as he turned from watching JJ close the door to look her in the eye.

"They stabilized her… but Hotch she really did almost die. She coded in the ambulance." JJ said as she glanced back at Spence who looked more than a little lost in the doorway of the waiting room. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Hotch shook his head. "We have to JJ. Doyle is still out there. As long as Emily is dead, she's safe. This buys her the time she needs to heal and recuperate. While she's healing we'll find Doyle."

"Who exactly is 'we', Hotch?" JJ asked as she looked up at Hotch. "How is the team supposed to help when they don't know what's really going on? They deserve to know the truth." JJ argued.

"JJ," Hotch sighed "we have to. Those are our orders."

In another life, that might have been enough of an argument to stop JJ from pushing her point, but this JJ had, for all intents and purposes, lived the last six years twice, with very different results… and she honestly couldn't believe that this was the best choice, that this was the best way.

"And I don't have to agree with them… you don't either, otherwise you wouldn't have come back here so soon to practice schooling your facial expression for the team. How is the team supposed to help her if they don't even know she's alive?" JJ asked.

Hotch shook his head. "They could help her by upholding the cover story that she's dead. If they believe she's dead then Doyle or anyone he has watching us will believe she's dead."

JJ shook her head and crossed her arms as she stood her ground. "And Emily can't come home until Doyle is captured. You know this team. Do you really think they're just going to let Doyle roam fee and not want justice for Emily, who they think is dead?"

"It isn't our case JJ."

JJ scoffed, "Because that's always stopped us before when something was personal. I'm serious Hotch. Secrets and lies got us into this mess in the first place; how is more of the same supposed to make it better?"

"It isn't JJ, but we have to protect Emily." Hotch replied. "It's not about us and what we want right now. It's about Emily and keeping her safe until she can protect herself."

"Don't you find it odd that the team that was best equipped to help find Doyle wasn't brought in?" JJ asked. "Who's going to protect her best and be the most motivated to find Doyle so that she can come home Hotch?" JJ argued.

"JJ you know it doesn't work that way." Hotch replied.

"What I know Hotch, is that this team should have been brought in from the very beginning and filled in completely. And I'm not necessarily talking about just from Emily. A task force was put together a month ago, and yet they turned up nothing…" JJ said.

"JJ, you could have told me." Hotch replied.

"That's exactly my point Hotch; I couldn't tell you because the team hadn't been brought into the loop. Do you really think we should keep the best team of profilers out of this? Just imagine how this could have turned out if the team had been in the loop? We might be on the jet laughing together on the way home instead of Emily being in ICU right now fighting for her life. We might have caught Doyle weeks ago. I'm not backing down Hotch. The team deserves to know; the team needs to know. I can't, I won't, lie to Spence, Hotch." JJ replied not know what else she could say to make her point.

Hotch took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Give me a few minutes to make a phone call."

JJ took a deep breath, uncrossed and re-crossed her arms as she looked down at her shoes while she waited for Hotch. For the first time in months thoughts of life in the other reality crossed her mind… She hoped to god that Emily had shared what was going on with that team, because she couldn't imagine what it would be like for that Hotch to have to tell Jack that Emily was dead, for him to have to tell Avery and Seth that their mother was dead… She raised her hand and covered her mouth as emotion overcame her. Then she took a deep breath and turned to look at Hotch as he walked back towards her.

"We're cleared to tell the team. You can tell Reid when you get home, but we have to wait until the after the funeral to tell the rest of the team. We'll do it in the SCIF to ensure that only the team knows. And when I say team, I mean only the team JJ… Strauss isn't even going to know that Emily is still alive…" Hotch said stressing the importance.

JJ nodded and breathed a deep sigh of relief. Then she turned and looked back at the team and once again was crushed by the weight of having to maintain a lie with Spence for a few more hours and with the team until after Emily's funeral.

"H…hey, are you okay?" Spence asked as he sat down beside her and rubbed his hand across her back.

JJ looked up at Spence with a tear stained face and red rimmed teary eyes. "You know I love you right baby?"

"Of course I do JJ; I love you too." Spence said as he pulled JJ against his chest and wrapped his arms around her.

JJ sniffled and then nodded as she looked up at Spence, knowing it was the moment of truth to tell him that she'd lied to him. "I…" JJ started as her voice caught in her throat.

Spence waited patiently.

JJ took a deep breath to avoid hyperventilating. "I have something that I have to tell you, and I need you to listen to me and let me finish. Can you promise that you'll let me finish."

"Okay… I promise." Spence replied as his eyes studied her face for signs of what was wrong.

JJ sat up from leaning on Spence's chest so that she could look him the eye as she took his hands in hers. "When we… I…" JJ paused as she tried to find the right starting place, and took another deep breath.

"JJ what is it, you're scaring me here." Spence said softly as he squeezed JJ's hands.

JJ nodded. "Right, so… Emily coded in the ambulance, and it was touch and go in surgery, but they were able to stabilize her… she didn't really die on the table… she was in ICU when I told you all that she died on the table…" JJ said with sad eyes as she looked at Spence.

"You lied?" Spence asked softly as he fought to pull his hands back from JJ's.

"Spence, baby, wait… you promised to let me finish." JJ gasped as she fought to keep her grip on Spence's hands, to not let him pull away, not now, not when they needed each other the most.

Spence's shoulders slumped. "You're right, I did."

"I lied because Emily is going into hiding. She lost a lot of blood. She's really weak and it was touch and go while she was in surgery. She's being airlifted to Bethesda under covert exfiltration right now. As far as the doctors in Boston are concerned Emily Prentiss did die on the table. Her identity is strictly need to know when she reaches Bethesda. As soon as she's well enough to travel she's going to be under cover and in hiding until Doyle is captured. She'll be assigned new identities, but we won't know what they are." JJ said finally hitting her stride now that she had Spence's complete and undivided attention.

She continued. "I had to lie to everyone in the waiting room at the hospital because since Doyle escaped we don't know if he or one of his associates was watching to find out what happened to Emily… faking her death doesn't help her if I announced in the middle of a wide open waiting room where anyone could hear what I said…" JJ said as she squeezed Spence's hands. "Baby talk to me… say something…."

Spence stared down at JJ's hands… it hurt to know that JJ had lied to him… but what she said made sense… and she told him as soon as she could… and then a thought crossed his mind. He lifted his eyes to meet hers again. "What about the rest of the team?"

"Hotch and I are going to tell them, but we have to wait until after the funeral." JJ replied, shifting her grip on Spence's hands, afraid if she let go he'd push her away.

"Wait... Hotch knew?" Spence asked.

JJ nodded. "It was his idea to fake Emily's death to keep her safe."

Spence nodded, knowing the lengths Hotch was willing to go to in order to protect the team. "So why are you telling me early if Hotch planned on telling us all after the funeral? Why didn't he just tell us all on the jet?"

JJ winced, not knowing what to say in response other than the truth. "The plan was originally not to tell you or the team… because they were worried about anyone watching the team believing that Emily was really dead. But I couldn't not tell you Spence; … I couldn't lie to you for god knows how long until Emily can come home."

Spence felt like his breath had been knocked out of him at the thought of thinking that Emily was dead when she was alive for who knew how long. He squeezed JJ's hands. "Th… thank you for telling me." he said, his voice cracking. "So, I can't tell anyone until anyone… or talk about it until after the funeral?"

JJ nodded. "And even after that, even though the team will know, you still won't really be able to talk about it. We have to make believe that Emily is dead, because if we don't we could tip off anyone who is watching us."

Spence nodded. "That's still better than thinking that Emily's really dead… but I still didn't get to say goodbye."

"I know baby… I'm so sorry. I wish I could have let you." JJ said as tears crested and spilled over her eyelids.

Spence nodded and pulled his hands free of JJ's.

JJ breath caught in her throat, unsure what Spence was going to do.

Spence lifted his hands and ran his thumbs across the hollows of her eyes, wiping away her tears. Then he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close.

JJ allowed herself to breathe again with the knowledge that she and Spence were going to be okay.

"You should go take a shower." Spence whispered into her hair. "You'll feel better."

"What about you?" JJ asked as she looked up at Spence.

"I'm just going to double check that everything is locked up and then I'll wait for you in bed." Spence replied.

"Okay" JJ said as she nodded. "We're okay, right?" JJ asked as she rubbed her hands over the soft cotton of the t-shirt covering Spence's chest.

"We're okay. You did what you had to do to keep Emily safe, and you told me as soon as you could. I understand." Spence replied with a sad smile.

"But?" JJ asked at the sad expression on Spence's face.

"But Emily still has weeks of recovery in front of her… and she's going to have to do it alone… just because we know… we aren't going to be able to contact her are we?" Spence asked.

JJ shook her head. "I don't know Spence… I'm just glad she's alive right now. I haven't really let myself think about anything past talking to you since the hospital… We'll just have to find Doyle as quick as we can so that Emily can come home."

Spence nodded. "I love you." he said and then leaned down to kiss her, then tucked a stray hair behind her ear as he pulled back from the kiss. "Go take a shower. You really will feel better." Spence said as he stood up and helped JJ to her feet.

"I love you too." JJ leaning up on her tiptoes to kiss her boyfriend.

The week was hell on earth for team as they mourned the loss of their teammate and friend, but it was especially hellacious for JJ, Spence, and Hotch as they watched everyone else mourn but had to remain silent about Emily being alive.

Finally the day of the Emily's funeral arrived. JJ, Ashley, and Penelope followed quietly behind the coffin as Spence, Morgan, Rossi, Hotch, and Anderson carried it to its resting place. JJ couldn't bring herself to think of it as Emily's coffin, even if that's what the tombstone was going to say.

JJ squeezed Spence's hand as the both stood mutely staring at the Priest as his words washed over them. She knew the funeral was mainly to convince Doyle and his associates that Emily was dead, but she was very glad that they were telling the team after this.

She knew the team were caught up in their grief but surely, eventually one of them, most likely would have started to question all of the little things that didn't make sense, like the fact that Emily had always said she wanted to be cremated, that her own mother wasn't at her funeral… but then she supposed there were other things that sold it as being authentic. The flowers, the simple understate epitaph engraved on the headstone 'Fidelity, Bravery, Integrity'. If that weren't enough to convince Doyle and his henchmen, there was of course all of her grieving friends surrounding the grave, looking at the tombstone engraved with 'Emily Prentiss October 12, 1970 – March 7 2011'.

She only let go of Spence's hand when she had to walk up next to the coffin and place her rose on it. Then she waited anxiously as one after another of the team solemnly placed their roses on what they thought to be Emily's coffin. Then her fingers found Spence's again as he stepped into the spot between her and Ashley to settle his rose along with everyone else's.

Spence squeezed JJ's hand, his stomach rolled as he bent over to place his red rose on the coffin, he had a major headache right now, but was waiting until they walked away from the gravesite to put his sunglasses back on. The only thing helping to soothe his nerves was JJ's thumb that was rubbing circles on the backside of his hand. He blinked in the bright sunlight to block out the unadulterated grief on everyone else's faces. He would be glad when they too knew the truth. Right now it felt like a heavy burden on his shoulders to carry the secret that Emily wasn't in this coffin. Emily wasn't dead. Emily was recuperating just miles down the road at Bethesda. Emily hadn't even wanted to be buried; she'd once made it clear that when she died she wanted to be cremated.

"Are you okay?" JJ asked softly as Spence stood close to her opening the car door for her.

"Yeah, I just… the sun is bright." Spence said squinting as he tried to will his headache away.

JJ nodded and reached into her purse and pulled out the sunglasses that had on some days been ever present and on other days had not been needed. She'd grabbed them as they'd been leaving the house, just in case.

"Thanks JJ" Spence murmured as he put them on.

The team and JJ entered the bullpen together, still dressed from the funeral. Penelope had decided that they should clean out Emily's desk together… they'd save Emily's apartment for the weekend. Penelope already had picked up Sergio and his things.

Rossi sat a box on Emily's desk. "Are we sure we want to do this today? It can wait until next week or the week after."

"Looking at her desk the way she left it is just going to be too painful." Garcia said as she looked at the desk trying to figure where to begin.

"Here, baby girl, let me." Morgan said as he took of his suit jacket and laid it across the back of his old desk chair. He took of his tie and rolled up his sleeves. Then he sat down at Emily's desk and pulled out a desk drawer… and smiled sadly.

"What, what is it?" Penelope asked.

"Kurt Vonnegut, 'Slaughter House 5'," Morgan said as he held up the book, remembering his conversation with Emily not too long after she first joined the BAU. As he continued to pull various items out of the drawer, the team reminisced over every item that had sentimental value, while case files and other work related materials were set off to the side to be filed away or completed by another team member.

Within an hour the team had cleaned out Emily's desk, and it looked much as it had just over four years ago; empty and waiting for a new occupant.

Morgan stood up from the now empty desk and pushed the chair in. He paused for just a moment with his hand on the back of the chair as he thought about the people who'd sat in this chair over his years with team. When he first joined the team it had been Mike Jacobs' desk. Mike had been headed to Boston on a bombing case with Gideon and the rest of the team the last time he'd seen him… He'd been held up because a prosecutor had needed some questions answered and Mike had talked him into taking the call, and the team had gone to Boston without him… then there was Elle… he shook his head as he thought about how Elle had left the team… and finally Emily… as bad as it was how Elle had left the team… at least she was still alive and out there somewhere. Emily… well, Emily wasn't.

"Who's up for a drink?" Morgan asked as he wrapped his arm around a sniffling Garcia.

"Actually, I need to talk to all of you, but we can stop on the way out." Hotch replied.

"On the way out?" Rossi asked as he tipped his head and looked, really looked at Hotch. The man had aged in the last week… could it mean… did it mean…

Everyone picked up their things and then followed Hotch to the elevator. They watched in confusion when instead of hitting the button for the parking garage, he hit the button for the basement.

"Hotch what's…" Morgan started to ask.

Hotch held up his hand and spoke softly, quietly, "I know you have questions and you'll have an opportunity to ask them, but I'm asking you to wait."

The team, except for JJ and Reid, grew more confused as Hotch led them to a SCIF and punched in his access code to open the door.

"Hotch, what's goin' on?" Morgan asked the second door closed and the locks clicked into place.

Hotch crossed his arms and took a deep breath. "Under the wise advice of someone I trust and respect very much, I was told that I should share this with you. And the more I've thought about it, the more I've come to realize how right they were." Hotch said as he glanced at JJ. "Last week, I made a decision that deeply affects this team and you all have the right to know about it. You all know that Emily lost a lot of blood and was gravely injured in her fight with Doyle." Hotch began.

Morgan and Penelope looked at each other in confusion and then back at Hotch. Rossi leaned back against the edge of the conference table that took up the majority of the room in the SCIF. Ashley looked perplexed. 'Shouldn't Hotch have said mortally wounded, not gravely wounded'? JJ and Spence tightly held hands as they waited for Hotch to share the news with the rest of the team.

"But the doctors were able to stabilize her and she was airlifted from Boston to Bethesda under covert exfiltration." Hotch continued. "Her identity is strictly need to know, because with Doyle still out there, Emily isn't safe. She needs time to heal and recuperate. Once she's well enough to travel she's going to be given new cover identities that we won't have access to for her security."

"She's alive?" Penelope asked with tears in her eyes.

"I take full responsibility and I know this brings up issues." Hotch continued.

"Issues, yeah, I got issues. I just went to Emily's funeral and cleaned out her desk, and NOW you tell us that she's alive." Morgan said with tears in his eyes.

Hotch took a deep breath. "I know Morgan, it isn't fair, but what I need all of you to remember is that this isn't about us. This is about Emily. She's still in critical condition at Bethesda and wouldn't stand a chance against Doyle right now were he to find out that she is still alive. So yes, I just told you now. We don't know if Doyle has people watching us, gaging our reactions… so the emotions, the reactions… they needed to be authentic. We're taking a big risk with Emily's life even letting this many people know."

Ashley glanced up from her hands. "We weren't supposed to know, were we…? I mean you said that someone gave you the advice to tell us… the original plan was to let us continue to think she was dead, wasn't it?"

"Yes, it was." Hotch replied, "and now that you know that she's not, you're going to have to continue to act like she is."

"Then why even tell us at all?" Ashley asked.

Hotch looked at JJ and nodded.

JJ cleared her throat, "Because there isn't going to be a more motivated group of people to track down Doyle. We end this, and Emily gets to come home. This is also the best group of people to track Doyle down… but it's going to take time… and we'll have to be smart."

"This is beyond 'Top Secret'… not even Strauss knows that Emily is alive. The papers that are being put together are being done by several different people so that no one person could put together that the passports, documents, and papers are for Emily." Hotch explained.

"I know you're probably angry and confused," Hotch continued "but, JJ was right when she convinced me to get the clearance to tell you all. Secrets and lies are what got us into this position and more of the same isn't going to fix it. I need this team to be a cohesive group… I know we have an uphill battle ahead of us carrying the same case load as we normally do and looking for a way to find Doyle, but I know this team and this isn't the first time we've been personally invested in a case." He said as he looked around at the team. "We've done it before, and we can do it again. Are we in agreement?"

Ashley nodded.

"I'm in Hotch." Reid said, finally breaking his silence.

Garcia swallowed. "Me too, sir."

"We get to bring Emily home, and keep a secret from Strauss?" Rossi said with a smirk. "That's just too good of an opportunity."

Everyone turned to look at Morgan.

"What, you think I'm just going to leave princess hangin' in the wind? Of course I want that bastard Doyle behind bars so Emily can come home." Morgan replied. He was angry, but he'd find a way to move past it. He had to; Emily's life depended on it.

"Do you have any questions?" Hotch asked.

And then Reid was struck with a sudden realization as he remembered back to the weeks and months after the Adrian Bale bombing in Boston. "Since Strauss doesn't know, we're going to have to do grief counseling aren't we?" he asked with a pained expression on his face.

For the first time in a week, the team and JJ laughed together. It was amazing the healing power in laughter.

Hotch wiped tears of laughter from his eyes as he nodded his head. "Yes Reid, yes we are."