Like A Man Possessed

By: Tracy Cook

Disclaimer: I own nothing. These characters belong to the creators of Vampire Diaries.

Couple: Bonnie/Damon

Rating: M

Warning : This fic will have serial killer Damon in it. And lots of murder and violence and smut!

Author's Note : Thank you all so much for the support! I really am loving writing this! Hope y'all like this chapter!

Chapter Five

Cemetery Of Wasted Days

'I Took A Wrong Turn And I Ended Up At My Heart,

It Could Barely Even Pump Blood, It Was So Thrashed And Torn Apart.'

His breath was visible in the air as he hurried down the street toward his apartment complex. It was getting late and the later it got the colder it got. He needed to get home before Elena got there. Just the thought of his ex-girlfriend caused his chest to tighten painfully and his stomach to tangle. They had only broken up a few weeks ago and he still loved her, but he had carried her words with him every day.

He repeated them over and over, 'You're crazy Damon! These nightmares and hallucinations are getting out of hand! You black out and mutter weird things and it's seriously starting to freak me out! The other night while you were sleeping you said something about killing me!' Damon had never said anything about killing her. In his dreams he had been killing a young woman and he had said something in his sleep. He would never hurt Elena. He loved her. 'At least I never thought I could hurt her... Now I dunno.'

The words that stuck with him the most though, were the words 'I can't handle you anymore.'

Elena hadn't been the first person to tell him that and he was sure she wouldn't be the last.

Everyone that Damon had ever gotten close to had pretty much said those words in one way or another. His girlfriends, his family, his teachers in high school, everyone. He knew that it wasn't easy to love him. And he knew that the majority of the time it was his fault. He always sabotaged himself. He had no excuses for mistakes he had made in the past, but this time, these nightmares and this murder, he had no control over.

'Bonnie said it wasn't my fault.' His lips curled up at the thought. But, a negative thought followed, 'Yeah, but she hasn't known me long enough to know all the shit I've done...'

His phone started vibrating in his back pocket and he could hear the familiar ringtone. He had set it for Elena. His heart stopped as he anxiously reached for the phone and pulled it out of his pocket. He honestly didn't know if he was excited or angry to see his ex tonight. A little bit of both, he supposed. Damon clicked the send button and lifted the phone to his ear.

"Hello." Damon sang as he unlocked the door to his apartment and walked inside.

"Did that girl give you my message?" Elena asked bitterly. He could hear the jealousy in her voice and it gave him a strange satisfaction. He liked that she was upset. Maybe that made him a terrible person. 'Who am I kidding? I am a terrible person.'

"That girl has a name." He teased.

"Yeah, well I didn't care to remember it."

Damon had a feeling that she did remember it, she was only pretending not to. She was playing a game that he had seen many times before. "Ahh." He stretched. "I see. In that case, let me refresh your memory." He smirked and she could hear the delight in his tone. "Her name is Bonnie. And she is quite the looker."

"Damon I don't care how she looks." Elena growled. "I just care that she gave you my message."

"The one about you coming over to pick up your things?" His voice wavered a bit. He hated the way that she ended things. She pretty much called him crazy and then walked out on him. Now she was only coming over to pick up her stuff and she acted like she had a claim over him. "Yep, she told me."

"Okay, well are you home? Because I'm heading over."

"Yep. Just got home."

"She's not there with you is she?" Elena asked spitefully. She didn't want to meet his new girlfriend, or friend, or whatever she was.

"Nope." Damon said with a playful pop of the p. He heard her smile and let out a breath of relief when he said that and it made him suspicious of her motives. 'Why does she care if Bonnie is here? She's the one that broke up with me.'

"Good. I'll be there in a few."

Without saying goodbye, Elena hung up. He assumed that she would be there any minute. Damon grabbed his bottle of bourbon and walked toward the couch, falling down onto it and sinking into the cushions. He was still holding onto his phone and as he lifted the bottle to his lips and took a large gulp of the alcohol, he noticed the number on his hand.

He set the bottle down on the table in front of the couch and he started to program her number into his phone. Then his lips twisted up into a devious smirk and he lay down on the couch with his legs crossed. He could feel the alcohol coursing through his veins and his inhibitions were lower than usual.

'They are usually pretty low without alcohol involved.' He internally noted.

Damon started to eagerly type a text message to the beautiful younger woman. 'Hello, Bon-Bon. ;) Miss me?'

As he waited for a response he reached over and grabbed the bottle of bourbon, taking another gulp. The more intoxicated he was the better.

'Hey. How'd things go with your brother?'

He scrunched his face up in disgust as he read her text. Bonnie hadn't flirted back. She was once again serious and straight to the point. Damon didn't want to talk about what happened with Stefan. He didn't want to think about Elena. He just wanted to have a fun conversation. 'I'm gonna have to help loosen her up a bit.'

'Like they always go. Horrible. I don't wanna talk about it.'

'I'm sorry...'

'It's okay.'

Damon watched the screen of his phone impatiently as he waited for her to type back. He wondered if he should have said something more. He took another drink of bourbon and he could really feel the alcohol affecting his body and his thinking process at this point.

'Are you coming over here tonight? I really don't think you should be in your apartment right now.'

'You really wanna see me again, huh witchy? ;)'

After a few minutes passed he realized that he had probably scared her off and he let out a loud sigh. He had only been joking. 'Though she is super hot and I would totally be up for a little action tonight...' Damon furrowed his brow and tried to concentrate on the text he was typing. It was getting more difficult to spell the more alcohol he consumed.

'Elna is coming over for her stufd'

'Are you drinking again?'

'Yep.'

'Knock, knock, knock.' A knocking sound dragged him out of his conversation with Bonnie and he quickly sat up on the couch. His heart was racing in his chest, but the alcohol in his system was allowing him to be calm. He set his phone down on the table in front of the couch and he stood up and headed toward the door.

Damon pulled the door open and smiled at the woman standing on the other side. She was dressed up in a very attractive dress that showed off a large expanse of her skin. His eyes wandered for only a moment before he remembered why she was there. "Nice to see you again, Elena." He spoke her name slowly and sarcastically. "You will find your things sporadically thrown around my apartment."

"Why did you throw my things around?" She sighed. Elena could tell that Damon had been drinking. She didn't call him out on it because she was used to it. Every time he had a problem in his life alcohol was his go-to fix.

"Let's just say I got a little angry after you left." He said with a smirk and a raise of his brows.

She shook her head disapprovingly as she started to look around the apartment for her things. Her brown eyes landed on a photograph that had been shattered on the ground. It was a picture of the two of them at her family's beach house the previous summer. 'Back when Damon was just a troublemaker that my parents didn't approve of.' Tears shimmered in her eyes as she picked it up.

"Sorry." Damon said playfully. "I just sort of dropped it."

"Sure you did." Elena laughed sadly.

She could remember back when she first met Damon. She met him through his brother Stefan. Elena and him were in school for the same degree at the time and they had a group project. She had known that Stefan had a crush on her. He had made it blatantly obvious with all of the cute things he said. He had even cooked her supper that night. She had innocently flirted with him, and she knew that her parents would love and approve of him, but she just didn't want to be with him. Things with him were too easy. There was no danger or adventure.

Elena had been raised in a sheltered environment and she craved adventure. That was why she had grown attached to Damon and eventually started dating him. That and the fact that she was convinced she could save him.

He had some problems when they met. He was traumatized by his parents' deaths and he hated to talk about it with her. He always said that she was psychoanalyzing him, and in a way she was. Sometimes it felt more like she was treating him like a patient then a boyfriend. She just wanted to help him get past the nightmares and the anger he held onto.

That night it had just gotten too real. She had been scared. She didn't know what he was capable of.

His dreams of murdering people pushed her away.

"I think I'm going to keep this picture." Elena said with a small smile as she pulled it out of it's broken frame and tucked it into the pocket of her jacket. She wanted to remember Damon for who he was before. Not the drunken, suicidal, angry mess he had become.

"Good." He smiled. "I don't want it."

"Why are you being such an ass?" She asked, standing to her feet and facing him.

Damon took a step toward her and stared directly into her eyes. "Why are you here?" His eyes widened.

"I told you, to get my stuff."

"Wearing that?" He nodded toward her revealing outfit.

"I was wearing this before I came over." Elena insisted. "And I thought maybe we could sit down and have a drink and talk about things. But, I see that you are already drunk so maybe that wouldn't be a great idea."

"Talk about what?" Damon wondered. He hated the hope he felt when she said the words. Deep down he knew that she only wanted to talk now because Bonnie was in the picture. Before she came into his life Elena had been ignoring all of his calls and texts since the breakup. Now she was coming over to "pick up her stuff" wearing a seductive outfit. "You broke my heart, told me I was crazy and you couldn't handle me, then you left and didn't say a word to me until now. I don't think we have anything to talk about."

"Damon, can we just sit down and talk about things. Give me a chance to explain myself." She pleaded, reaching out and grabbing his hand and tugging him toward the couch.

He didn't want to talk.

He loved her, but he couldn't forgive her for just giving up on him. Elena had always talked about marriage and then the minute he started breaking down she left him. How could he trust her not to leave him again? 'Especially after she finds out I just killed a man... This relationship will never work. She would never understand... Not like Bonnie does.'

Damon lent back against the couch and he grabbed the bottle of bourbon from the table, taking a swig.

"Damon." Elena scolded.

"Sorry, did you want some?" He asked with a smirk, holding the bottle out to her.

She rolled her eyes at him and sighed. "Can you please put the alcohol down and talk to me about this seriously."

He set the bottle down on the table hard, causing Elena to jump, and then he looked over at her with serious eyes and a furrowed brow. "Start talking."

Elena chewed on her bottom lip and furrowed her brow as she thought about how to say what she wanted to say. She didn't know how to explain what she had done. "I'm sorry about how I reacted a few weeks ago. I didn't want to break up with you, but..." Her voice trailed off.

"But, what?"

"I told my mom about the dreams that you were having and she convinced me that you couldn't be trusted. She always tells me how dangerous you are, but this time she told me that you might be capable of murder and she was worried for my safety." She explained. Damon's body tensed when she said the word 'murder' and she reached out and placed a hand gently over his. "I just blew it off like usual until you had that nightmare. You said some really scary things that night in your sleep."

"I wasn't saying them to you." He slurred drunkenly. It hurt knowing that her mother had convinced her that he was a murderer. It hurt most because he knew that he was. Elena had no faith in him. If he told her what happened she would verbally attack and belittle him, she would never believe him.

"I know. But, it felt like it and I kinda freaked out."

"Kinda?" Damon laughed.

"Okay, I really freaked out." She flipped over his hand and started to delicately run her finger along his palm. Her eyes landed on his hand and they hardened when she realized that there was a number and address written on his hand. Her jealousy was returning full force. She didn't need to ask who's number it was, she knew. It was Bonnie's.

Damon noticed her jealousy as well and it only served to further prove his suspicions. Elena didn't want him back because she wanted to be with him, she still thought he was crazy. She wanted him back because she didn't want someone else to have him.

"Why are you really here, Elena?" He asked, pulling his hand away from her touch.

"I'm here because I made a stupid mistake." She told him, moving closer to him on the couch. Her eyes were focused on his and she ran her tongue along her lips as she stared down at his. "I shouldn't have listened to my parents. They don't even know you. They never took the time to know a single thing about you and they don't know how amazing you are. I love you, Damon."

He wanted to believe her.

He wanted to believe that she loved him and she thought that he was a good person. But, he didn't. He knew that if Bonnie hadn't answered the phone she would have come and got her stuff and left without so much as a hug. He knew that deep down she still thought he was crazy.

"Elena. You know I love you I just-"

Elena interrupted him with a kiss before he could say anything to dismiss her. She knew that even if he was having his doubts emotionally, he wouldn't say no to her body. She climbed on top of him and she straddled his waist, thrusting her tongue into his mouth and forcing him to kiss her more passionately.

It all felt wrong.

Knowing why she was kissing him made Damon feel sick. He wished that he could just enjoy the pleasure, because he really did want to have sex. But, he just couldn't have sex with her. Not now, and probably not ever again after the things she had said to him. Bonnie was a complete stranger and she had trusted him more than his ex of two years.

There was also a strange guilt that he felt for kissing Elena. He felt guilty for flirting with Bonnie right before Elena got to his apartment complex and then kissing Elena. He wasn't one to feel wrong about those things. All through high school he had slept with multiple women at a time and never committed to any of them. But, there was something special about Bonnie. She had faith in him and she cared for him in ways that no one ever really had.

He didn't understand it, but he didn't want to destroy it.

Not because Elena was insecure and wanted to prove a point that he would always be hers. She had given him up. Thrown him out.

Damon pulled out of the kiss and he rolled out from underneath her, nearly slamming his head against the table because of his intoxicated state. He could see the surprise and pain all over her face. She felt rejected. She had never expected him to reject her. He pushed himself up into a standing position and stared down at her. "You don't get to do this."

"Do what?"

"This!" He threw up his hands in frustration. "Walk out of my life only to come back when you think I've got a new girl!"

Elena stood to her feet and placed her hands against his chest, tugging on his shirt and trying to kiss him again. He didn't let her though. "Damon, that's not what I'm doing. This has nothing to do with whats-her-name."

"Bonnie." Damon reminded.

"Whatever. This has nothing to do with her. This has to do with us." She was crying now and it shattered him. He hated seeing her in pain. She curled her fingers against his chest and she stared up into his eyes. "Don't you still find me attractive?"

"Elena, this has nothing to do with how attracted to you I am." His eyes widened and he pulled her hands away from his chest. He didn't want to give into her. Not this way. Not now. If she would have come back a week ago he would have rejoiced, but now that he knew what it felt like to have someone in his life that actually cared about him and understood what he was going through, he didn't want her back in his life. All she ever did was try and fix him. He was her project. "This has to do with the fact that you destroyed me and left me at my worst and I haven't forgiven you."

"Damon, I'm so sorry! You have to know that! You have to know that I love you!"

"I don't." Before she could say anything to defend her love for him he added, "I think you were madly in love with the idea of what you could make me. And when you realized how truly screwed up I am, you gave up."

'Why Can't I Ask Any Questions, If What You Say Is True?

Am I Supposed To Believe Everything? Or Just Everything Said By You?'

It was nine o' clock.

Damon hadn't texted her back for a little over an hour and she was starting to get worried about him. 'Are you worried about him, or are you worried about what Elena and him might be doing?' Her mind teased. Honestly, it was a little of both. She was worried that he would get his heart crushed again by Elena. She was worried that the police might show up and arrest him. And she felt jealous when she thought about them possibly being intimate together.

She knew she had no right to be jealous. She felt a strong connection with him because of the visions, but he hadn't even known her for longer than 24 hours. Of course he would pick his ex over her.

Bonnie furrowed her brow and reached for her cellphone again. She had already sent him four texts in the last hour asking if he was okay and she was about to send another. Why wouldn't he answer her? With the cops after him, he could at least tell her that he was okay.

Her anxiety was becoming overwhelming.

As her fingers wrapped around the phone her eyes shut and she was hit with another vision. Her mind was filled with images of Damon.

She was staring through his eyes again. Elena was opening the door to his apartment, she turned to say "Screw you, Damon!" Bonnie noticed that she wasn't carrying any of her things. She wondered what had happened. Before she could think about it though, she was staring down at a half empty bottle of bourbon and watching as he walked into his bedroom.

He reached out for the bottle of sleeping pills beside his bed and he sat down on the edge. Staring up at the ceiling. She could hear the music playing in the background. It was the same song that had been playing the last time he tried to kill himself.

This worried her.

Damon lifted the pill bottle to his lips and he downed them all in one swallow. Then he started to drink the rest of the bourbon. She knew that mixing alcohol and pills was a sure way to kill yourself. He knew it too. She was inside of his head. He was tired of living. He was tired of carrying the guilt on his shoulders. He just wanted to die.

Bonnie's eyes snapped open and she took in a sharp breath as she was pulled out of her vision.

Immediately she stared down at her phone and started to dial Damon's number. She didn't know how much time she had before what she saw actually happened. She hoped that she wasn't too late.

Lifting the phone to her ear she listened to it ring. She was already rushing to pull her coat on and heading out the door as she waited impatiently for him to answer the phone. She needed to get to him. Hopefully before he took the pills.

Bonnie hung up the phone and rushed down the stairs running into the street and calling out for a taxi. She saw one start to drive by her and she ran out in front of it, slamming her hands down on the hood and causing him to stop. When she hopped into the car she said, "I'm so sorry, it's an emergency!" Then she told him Damon's address and she started to type out a text to him.

'Damon I just had a vision. I'm on my way. I need you to wait for me to get there.'

She stared at the phone with such intensity. She didn't even blink or breathe as she prayed for a reply.

A reply never came.

Luckily, they were getting close to his apartment. Traffic had blocked them in though. "Here." She handed him the money. "I'll walk the rest of the way."

Bonnie started to run down the street toward his apartment. Her heart was racing painfully in her chest. Her body felt numb. She had to get to him before it was too late. She slowed down when she saw Elena walking out of the apartment building and she heard her screaming "Screw you, Damon!" She let out a breath of relief knowing that she had made it on time.

As Elena passed by her she gave her a strange look and Bonnie glared at her before rushing toward Damon's apartment.

Elena watched as she opened the door and let herself in.

'Must be the other woman.' She clenched her jaw tightly. 'Just a friend my ass! Damon has never turned me down before and he wouldn't do that for just a friend.' She pulled her hood on and stuffed her hands into her pockets as she walked in the opposite direction.

'If I'm Gonna Cry,

Will You Wipe Away My Tears?'

Author's Note :

OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR WONDERFUL REVIEWS! I feel like y'all completely gave me my confidence back and I love you all so much for that! And to prove it, I added a longer chapter! ;) I know I promised Bamon snugging and it is coming, but I wanted to leave this on a sort of cliffhanger! The next chapter will be ALL Bamon goodness and will really help build their relationship! I hope that y'all liked this chapter! Do you think Bonnie will get to him on time? Did you like that Damon turned down Elena and he feels a connection with Bonnie? Did you enjoy the Bamon texting? I really would love to know your thoughts!

Thank you so much again for all of your support! It means the world and more to me!

I love you guys!

-Tracy Cook-