Prince Hrafn had formed his own committee to work on what it would take to have warning beacons between Erebor and the Iron Hills. Since returning from Rohan, he had been working hard on this project, meeting with land surveyors, captains of the security guards for both kingdoms as well as meeting with Lord Thorin III, King of the Iron Hills. All was ready. Once the spring came, teams would begin building the beacons at the various sites.
Fili thought it a great idea and was happy to let Hrafn be in charge of the project. Fili liked the boys as adults. It took some work off his back, and when they came up with things like this on their own, all he had to do was approve the idea and then he could just let them run with it.
Kili, Tauriel, Iomhar, and the twins left for the Glittering Caves to meet with Gimli about a Hobbit/Dwarf exchange and also to see Torsten. They missed him. The entire family did really.
Milly was still very ill. She was managing some food and water, but seemed to lose more than she kept down. She was growing thin. Hana was concerned, but not overly so, yet. She promised Fili she had seen two similar cases where the mother had been very sick, but after the first quarter of the pregnancy was over, they got well, could eat and drink normally and went on to give birth to very healthy sons. If Milly's inability to keep food and drink down did not get better by the beginning of spring, they would have to look at other solutions. Hana promised she would do everything and anything it took to get Milly and the baby safely through the pregnancy.
With Hrafn always busy, Milly too sick to leave her bed and Kili and his family gone, Fili felt very lonely. He worked late, ate meals in his study and only went home to sleep.
It was quite late one night when he woke up, his face was on his desk and the candle was almost out. His wrist hurt from having laid on it wrong. He was tired. Going home did not sound inviting. It would be empty and cold. His desk was uncomfortable. He thought about going to the forge, but he was tired and really only wanted to sleep. He left his study and began walking. He didn't think about where he was going and just let his feet take him.
"King Fili?" a voice called to him.
He turned around and saw, in the dim light, a lass walking towards him.
"Well, well," he smiled. "It's Healer Hana. What brings you out this late at night?"
"I assisted in a baby delivery this evening. I was just headed home," she answered.
"A new dwarfling?" That's always good news. Was it Glorok's wife?"
"As a matter of fact, it was. You know them?"
"Glorok is Head Foreman for the forges on this side of the mountain. We meet once a month, or so, so he can keep me informed on all that the massive forge is doing. I knew his wife was due soon. Is all well?"
Hana smiled. "Oh yes, very well. They have a healthy son, with quite the set of powerful lungs."
Fili laughed. Every year there were more babies born in Erebor, a testimony to the prosperity of the great kingdom.
"What brings you out this late, my King?"
"I, uh, well, I fell asleep at my desk. But, I don't really want to go home. It's cold and quiet without my family. I guess I was just wandering about," Fili admitted.
"Well, you're king. I suppose you are free to wander about your kingdom anytime you wish, day or night."
"Fancy a bit of a walk?" Fili asked. Hana looked surprised. "Forgive me," Fili said quickly, "I'm sure you wish to get home. It's late, after all, and someone will be worrying about you if you didn't show up."
"No, it's alright. I've got nothing and no one to go home to. Just a cold, quiet room. I would enjoy a walk. Besides, after a delivery, I'm always a bit wound up. The walk will help me to settle down," Hana smiled. "Lead the way."
Fili began walking again. Hana walked along side him. They were quite for a moment.
"Where did you come to Erebor from?" Fili asked.
"The Iron Hills. I came here about fifty five years ago. I was young and looking for a change of scenery. My mother was a seamstress and kept trying to teach me or get me an apprenticeship with the local spinner, but I didn't want that. So they tried to marry me off to some high and mighty, pompous Lord, and I wasn't happy about that either. It wasn't that I was against marriage, I just didn't like the dwarrows they kept pushing at me, so I left. I came here and got into the healers training program. It was a great move for me. I got to meet a lot of great dwarves and learn a skill that I was interested in."
"Sounds like things have worked out well, then," Fili said. Without realizing where he was going, he had brought them to Lake Carregsten.
"I do like this place," Hana sighed. "I come every year for the Song of Praise during the spring festival."
Fili walked over to the little alcove where he and Sigrid would come to have peaceful time together. He hadn't planned to come here, but here he was, so they might as well sit and visit. There were soft rugs on the ground.
"Have a seat," he said.
Hana sat, leaning her back against the wall. "This is nice. Peaceful. Come here often to think?"
"I use to," Fili said.
They watched the water fall into the black lake.
"I married my uncle in this room," Fili thought back. "And my mother."
Hana raised an eyebrow at Fili. He caught the look on her face and laughed. "Not like that. I presided over the ceremony. I married Thorin to Fire and my mother to Dwalin that night. They were so happy and in love."
Hana didn't say anything, but Fili noticed her absent-mindedly playing with a necklace she was wearing.
"What is that you wear?" he asked.
"It's a necklace my husband made for me when we married," Hana sounded sad.
Fili had a bit of a panic attack. She had just told him she lived alone. "You're married?"
"Widowed," Hana sighed. "He was killed seventeen years ago, during the Battle for Erebor."
"I'm sorry. Many good dwarves died that day," Fili said.
"I know. I was very busy for many days following the battle, tending to wounded. In fact, I was with your son when they brought him in. He had quite the gash on his back."
Fili nodded. "He was too young to be in the that fight. He and Torsten."
"Somehow, I don't think you could have stopped them," Hana said.
"I know, but I wish I had tried harder."
"I haven't seen Prince Torsten all winter. Is he well?" Hana asked.
"Yes, I believe he is," Fili smiled. "He is staying at the Glittering Caves right now with my cousin, Gimli. Kili and his family have gone to see Tor. They've really missed him."
"Do you know what I have always been impressed with among the royal family?" Hana asked.
"No," Fili smiled. "What?"
"Your devotion to family."
Fili chuckled. "Yes. Family was all we had for a long time. We saw too many family members die before their time, making us appreciate our family even more. Kili has always been my best friend as well as being my brother. I see his children as my own. Our children call us the Adads rather than Adad and Uncle."
Hana laughed. "I never had a sibling. Always wanted one, though."
"Did you and your husband have any children?" Fili asked, knowing full well he was stepping into dangerous territory.
Hana watched the waterfall. "One. Well, not quite, but yes, one," she rambled a bit before looking to Fili with a sigh. "I had a still birth about forty years ago. Beled, my husband, was so devastated, he said never again and he made sure that we never had relations at the wrong time, so I would never find myself with child again."
"I'm so sorry," Fili said. He was sad to hear her child had died, but he was angry that she had been denied a chance to even have another. Of course, he had practically done that to Sigrid, but the reasoning with her was different. It was to protect her life.
"Oh, don't worry about it," Hana said off-handedly. "It was a long time ago. But," she took a deep breath and exhaled harshly, "one of my friends asked me once why I didn't grieve more after Beled died and I think it was because I was still angry with him. I loved him, of course, but he had denied me the thing I wanted most - a child, and it made me angry. The baby's death was no one's fault. It's cord had wrapped around its neck. There was nothing anyone could have done to make things different, but he said it was my fault and he didn't want that to happen again. In all my many years as a healer and midwife, I have only ever seen that happen once and she went on to have two more babies, both very healthy. I could have had more. I wanted more, but Beled said no." She looked to Fili. Two tear streaks ran down either side of her face. "Oh, my. I'm so sorry, my King," she looked embarrassed and horrified by her own words. "I don't know why I just told you all of that. What you must think of me." She swallowed a sob, "And, if you don't wish for me to be your daughter's midwife any longer, I understand."
Fili reached over to Hana and pulled her towards him. He put his arms around her shoulders in a friendly hug. "There, there," he said. "You have done nothing that needs forgiving and I would never tell Milly she needed to choose someone else. She trusts you. That's good enough for me. Forgive me for bringing up such a sensitive subject."
"No, it's alright. I could have stopped talking at anytime. I needed to talk, I guess."
"We've been alone for a long time, you and I. Sometimes, it's nice to have a friend to talk too. I hope you will think of me as a friend," Fili said, giving her shoulders a squeeze.
"I do. And, I hope you feel you can call me friend, too," Hana said, leaning into Fili's hug.
He gave a contented sigh. Sometimes, everyone just needed a hug and a friend, even kings.