"Uncle Fili, Uncle Fili! Can we hold the baby?" Klin and Keil were practically bouncing with excitement as Fili, Hana and Mailis arrived at Kili's home for dinner.
"Boys, that's no way to behave in our time of mourning," Tauriel quietly chided her youngest sons.
"It's alright, Tauriel, I appreciate their enthusiasm for their cousin," Fili smiled at his nephews, "Mailis is a joy to be celebrated."
"So can I hold her?" Keil asked.
Fili smiled. "Of course, go sit down."
The boys ran to the couch and sat next to each other. Fili placed Mailis in Keil's lap, showing him how to hold the tiny infant and keep her head supported. After several minutes, it was Klin's turn. When Mailis started to squirm and fuss, Klin got a panicked look on his face. Tauriel swooped in and took the baby.
"My turn," she said. Klin looked very relieved.
Agli and Torsten were there and Agli looked over Tauriel's shoulder to the babe. "Oh, she's lovely," Agli cooed. "Makes me miss my nephews. One was born just after Tor and my's courting ceremony. The other was born just before we came to Erebor for the wedding."
"Two grandsons for Fuldan?" Fili asked. Agli nodded. "That's wonderful news for him and his family."
"It is," Agli reached out her hand to touch Mailis's hand.
Dinner was pleasant and conversations remained easy and light. Unpleasant topics were, for the most part, avoided. When the meal was over, the younger boys went off to their room to study, leaving the adults to talk.
"I've had an idea, Fili, and before you say anything about it, I want you to hear me out. Alright?" Kili asked.
Fili smiled. "This can't be good."
Kili feigned insult, but his tone was serious. "You remember how we planned on sending a dwarf to The Shire to work as a blacksmith while we had our hobbit guests here?" Fili nodded. "We've never gotten around to sending anyone. So, I got to thinking, why don't you go, Fili?"
"What?"
"You. Go to The Shire."
Fili gave a mirthless, exasperated sigh. "You've been into the mead, brother. I can tell because you're not thinking straight."
"Oh, but I am. Well, thinking straight," Kili smiled, "not into the mead. No, Fili, I'm quite serious. You could go. You're one of Erebor's finest blacksmiths."
"That's not true and you know it," Fili said, feeling his anger start to grow.
"You're a very good blacksmith, Fili, and certainly good enough for the smithing needs of The Shire. Brother, listen to me. You need to get away from Erebor for a while." Kili held up his hand to stop Fili from speaking. "I know what you will say. You will say 'I can't leave. I'm the king.' Right?" Kili looked at his brother expectantly and after a moment's pause, Fili nodded. "Right," Kili continued, "But for all the years you were crown prince and all these years you've been king, who has stood by your side?"
"You have, Kili," Fili bowed his head and stared at his hands in his lap.
"Right again. I think I know enough about Erebor to run it for a while. I wouldn't let the mountain crumble."
Fili stood up and pulled his brother into a hug. "I know you could rule Erebor. Never think I doubt your abilities."
Kili was momentarily surprised by Fili's actions and words.
"It's just, I think it might be good for you to get out of Erebor for a while. Take Hana and Mailis and go live in the gentle land of the Hobbits. Raise Mailis for a year or so without the burden of ruling. I will take over as regent and Torsten can take over as crown prince until your return."
"But your home and your life in the Glittering Caves," Fili looked to Torsten and Agli.
"That life will wait for us until we return," Torsten said. "I'm a prince of Erebor, not the Glittering Caves. If Erebor needs me, I am here for her."
"Erebor would do well under you and your father," Fili said.
"So, you are considering going?" Kili asked.
Fili closed his eyes for a moment. Could he do it? Go to The Shire? Live a life as a simple blacksmith? He knew Kili's motives, to get Fili away from the constant reminder of all that had just passed and Fili wanted that. He wanted to get away from the constant pain in his heart since Hrafn and Milly's deaths.
He looked to Hana. Would she even be willing to go? Could he take her from her home? It wouldn't be forever. They would come back and maybe by then, the pain in his heart will have lessened. He looked to Mailis, sleeping and tucked gently in Agli's arms. He had a little one to think of again. His granddaughter. That still sounded strange to his ears.
He closed his eyes and played out all the good and bad of his going to The Shire. Get away from the constant reminder of his dead children. That was good. Leaving his responsibilities and abandoning his people. That was bad. Dumping all that responsibility onto Kili. Kili could do it with no problems, but that was bad and selfish on Fili's part. Running from his home, where every stone, every room, every crack in the stone reminded him of those beloved people he had lost - mother, Thorin, Sigrid, Milly and Hrafn. That was selfish. He was being selfish. He could see that now. He was king. He could not go off and leave his people. Nope. They would just have to find another blacksmith to send to The Shire.
"Fili?" Kili spoke. Fili opened his eyes. Everyone was watching him. "You're thinking too much. If you do that, you'll talk yourself out of it."
Fili blinked in surprise.
Kili laughed softly. "I know you, Fee. I can see you thinking and I know how your brain works. Does the proposal interest you at all?"
"Well, yes, it does," Fili answered. "But, it seems very selfish; to leave my duties to fall on your shoulders. To take Hana from our home. To leave you to deal with the endless, boring council meetings," he cracked a smiled, but only for a moment. Then he sighed again. "It feels like I'm running away."
"You're not running away. Your taking an extended holiday. Remember when Thorin and Fire went to visit Bilbo in The Shire? They were gone for a year. No one thought anything wrong with Thorin going away like that. And you'll be back. You have to come back. I can't rule Erebor by myself forever. There is a very good reason why you are king and I am not."
"Because I was born first?" Fili smiled.
"Well, yes, there is that, but also because you are the one dwarf with the rights of the kings. Also, you are the only one patient enough and strong enough to sit through all those dumb meetings without exploding."
Fili chuckled. His mind was whirling. "Hana? What about you? I won't take you from Erebor if you do not wish to leave."
Hana slid her hand into his. "Dearest," she smiled, "I will go with you anywhere. I think it sounds very exciting. I've never even been as far west as Mirkwood. I would love the opportunity to go to The Shire."
Fili turned to his new niece. "Agli?"
The young wife and princess seemed surprised to find her opinion on the matter was desired by the king.
"If I go and Torsten takes his place as crown prince, it's likely you won't see him quite so often."
"I knew when I married him that I married a prince and my life with him would not be the same as it is for my sisters and their husbands. I accepted that and I support him. I love Torsten and I will stand by him always. As a princess now, I give my full support to you, King Fili. I will do whatever you require of me."
"Torsten is a lucky dwarrow to have so good a wife by his side. You have heard the saying that behind every good lad is a great wife? Torsten is a good prince who will be great because of you."
Agli blushed and bowed her head.
Fili sighed again. They were waiting for him to make a choice. "I think it is a good idea. We need to repay our debt to the Hobbits. We asked for the aid of one or two hobbits and we were sent seventeen. They have served Erebor better than I could have hoped for and I am happy to give them a year of my life to show my gratitude. And, I think it will be very good for me to get away from here. To go somewhere where everything doesn't remind me of Hrafn and Milly."
"Then it's settled. We will plan for your departure as soon as we can make it," Kili said.
"You want to get rid of me so quickly?" Fili half smiled.
"No, I don't, but, winter approaches and the sooner you can leave the better. A small merchant caravan is leaving for Ered Luin soon. You could join them."
"There is much to prepare," Fili said. "But I don't know much about the Shire. Where do I go? Is there a forge already there or will I need to build one? Who do I talk to about a home?"
"The farming supply caravan will be arriving in two days. I believe Rosie will be on it. We could ask her questions about The Shire. I'm sure she can answer all your questions," Tauriel said.
That night, after putting Mailis to sleep, Fili climbed into bed next to Hana. "There is so much to think about. So much to plan," he said.
While he had been feeding Mailis, Fili's mind had gone over the many preparations that he needed to make - living arrangements and travel arrangements. All the supplies and provisions they would need during the journey. How does one travel so far with a newborn infant? There were a lot of official king business that would have to be settled before he could leave Erebor in Kili and Torsten's hands. His mind was spinning. He shifted in bed, trying to get comfortable, but he could only think of more that needed to be done. He shifted again, but found he could not relax. After a long while of fighting for sleep and loosing, he exhaled loudly in frustration.
"Give me your hands," Hana whispered. Fili put his hands in hers. She started to rub at them. After a moment, she got up, dug through her healer's bag and returned with a small glass vial, which she uncorked and poured some of the liquid onto her hands. The oil smelled of lavender and filled Fili's nose, with its relaxing aroma.
She took his hands again and began to rub at his palms and fingers. With her hands covered in the oil, her skin slid smoothly over Fili's hand and she was able to massage out the tight muscles. Fili felt the tension slip away. He closed his eyes and focused all of his attention to the gentle kneading of his hands. It was so calm and relaxing. Fili felt sleep creeping into his tired mind and body and very soon, he was sound asleep.