Kurt tried to pay attention in his Corsetry in Fashion class; he rubbed his eyes and took sloppy notes. It was a class he would usually love, but today he was just too tired to really pay attention. Luckily it was a subject he already had a passion for, so hopefully he'd be able to catch up later.
His dreams had started getting worse, but he wasn't going to think about that. He focused his mind as he planned out the rest of his day, one more class, and then back to the apartment. He needed to do some homework, then he'd call his dad, maybe he would help Kurt figure out what to do.
Blaine would be at the theater this evening running through some things with the producer. His job allowed him flexible hours, but sometimes he was at the producer's beck and call.
Blaine was fortunate to get a job in New York working on the musical score for a new play; it meant they both got to be in the city together. Though in truth, Kurt knew that even if Blaine hadn't found work, he would have found a way to go to New York with Kurt.
They were a couple, and though Kurt knew that if they had to survive a long distance relationship for a while, if Blaine went out to Los Angeles for example, to dive more into movie scores, they would have found a way to make things work. It was so nice that they didn't have too though, especially now that these nightmares were plaguing Kurt.
Kurt had suffered through a new dream each night that week. He would wake Blaine up each time, as promised, except when Blaine woke him, because he was shouting in his sleep. Blaine would hold him and talk to him or sing until he was able to fall asleep again. Kurt knew Blaine was worried about him, and wanted to know more about the dreams, but Kurt never said much. Instead he just clung to him and enjoyed the warm solidness of having Blaine close.
It was better than struggling with these dreams alone, and he did get more rest, now that the fear of going back to sleep was pacified by Blaine's strong arms, and sweet voice. Still, he didn't think he could keep living this way permanently; he needed to find a way to make the nightmares stop.
"Have you thought about... seeing someone about them?" Blaine had asked one morning.
The night before Kurt had been stuck in a dream, unable to wake himself up until Blaine, anxiously calling his name over and over, eventually seeped through his subconscious. He woke with a start to find Blaine, pale faced with red rimmed eyes, blinking down at him.
They held each other as they fell back asleep; Kurt rubbing Blaine's back as Blaine hummed him a melody he was working on for the show.
It was no wonder that Blaine was trying to come up with a solution to get rid of the nightmares.
"Someone?" Kurt asked "I talk to you about them."
"Yeah." Blaine said and stirred his coffee. "But you don't really tell me much about what you dream."
"I don't like to think about it or dwell on them."
"I get that, I do." Blaine said quickly. "It's just that they seem to be getting worse, and I was wondering if you'd thought about seeing a professional about it." Blaine took a sip of coffee as he leaned up against the kitchen counter, trying to act completely nonchalant. In all honesty, he had probably rehearsed making this suggestion.
"A professional? You think I need to go back to seeing a shrink?" Kurt lifted an eyebrow as he considered the idea.
He had been seeing a therapist when he was in Ohio, obviously he had never been able to tell her the whole story of what happened to him, but she knew he'd been in an abusive relationship, and had helped him through a lot of his internal fears.
They had parted ways when Kurt moved to New York though, she said he was doing well enough that he should be okay, but gave him a list of Doctors in New York in case he wanted to continue seeing anyone.
Kurt sighed. "I don't think I need to see anyone about Sebastian. And the dreams? I don't know. I think they'd be hard to… explain."
"Not any harder than meeting with Doctor Perez had been in Ohio." Blaine said. "Where you always had to avoid the issue of... of..."
"My death?" Kurt supplied and smiled a little. Blaine still had a hard time talking about it, and though it wasn't Kurt's favorite subject, he wasn't affected the same way Blaine was.
Yeah, it had been awful, no..not awful, horrific, and the following years of drifting around that old house in San Francisco... well, he didn't like to think about that at all. But it was all in his past, and things were so good for him now, that he found he could mention it without too much baggage.
"You were able to talk to her despite that complication." Blaine continued. "Talking about these dreams should be easier."
Kurt shook his head and saw Blaine's face fall. He knew Blaine was trying so hard to help.
"I'll think about it. Okay?" Kurt compromised. He didn't really know how much he'd think about it though, somehow he just had a feeling about these dreams. He knew he needed to do something, but talking to a Doctor wasn't going to help.
Blaine had smiled a little and nodded, and though he hadn't brought it up again yet, Kurt knew he would.
Kurt didn't want to talk to a Doctor, and he was worried about telling Blaine too much. That didn't mean there was no one he could talk too though.
When Kurt got home from school, he plopped down on the couch, and flung his bag next to him. He wasted no time digging out his phone, calling a familiar number.
"Hey Bud." His dad's deep, comforting voice greeted, as it came through the phone.
Kurt settled down on the couch, tucked his knees against his chest, and pulled and throw blanket over him. He knew he was an adult now, but something about his dad's voice made him feel safe and taken care of, as if he was a child again. And after the years of being separated from his dad, thinking he'd never see or talk to him again in this life, he let himself enjoy the feeling.
"Hey Dad." Kurt said with a smile.
They launched into talking about school, and the tire shop, as well as Carole's recent promotion at work. It felt good to just be, to talk about things that were light and easy, but his dad knew him too well for it too last.
"So Kurt, why'd you really call?" He eventually asked.
"Can't I call just to talk?"
"Of course. But I can tell this isn't one of those times, you sound worried."
Kurt sighed, if his dad could tell something was wrong just over the phone, there was no way he was doing a good job hiding it from Blaine.
"I haven't been sleeping well." Kurt admitted as he traced the edge of the blanket with his fingers.
"I know. Blaine mentioned it."
"He did?"
"Yeah, the kid is worried about you. Called to see if I had any tips for helping you get over nightmares."
"What did you tell him?"
"Nothing that he didn't already know, he helped you through this last time too. He said you weren't really talking about them this time around though."
Kurt wanted to be upset that his dad and Blaine were talking about him like this behind his back, but could he really blame Blaine? It wasn't like he was being completely open about what was going on.
"I have these dreams…" Kurt started slowly, deciding to just say it. "About people dying. Sometimes they are violent and sometimes they aren't. They're always really realistic and… disturbing. One of the worst parts is that I can remember them perfectly when I wake up. It feels like these people really died and I… I had a front row seat to their deaths."
His dad was quiet on the other end, and Kurt could hear him shifting positions. He could picture him taking off the ball cap he always wore, while rubbing his head.
"Where are these coming from?" He finally asked.
"I don't know." Kurt said. "I think..." I'm cursed Kurt thought, but didn't say that part. "I think it has something to do with the time I spent as a ghost."
He heard his dad's quick intake of breath, he knew it was a painful subject for him so he just kept going, like ripping off a band-aid.
"They don't feel like just normal dreams." Kurt admitted. "I think they mean something."
"And you haven't told Blaine this?"
"No." Kurt said feeling guilty.
"You gonna tell me why you can tell me, but not him? Do you not trust him?"
"What? No. No, no, no. I trust Blaine completely."
"Then what's going on here?"
"I don't want..." Kurt closed his eyes tight as he gripped the blanket, trying to understand what he was feeling right now. "I don't want to lose him." He said, shocking himself as the words came out.
He dad didn't say anything so Kurt continued. "He went through so much, with how we met, and then with my coming back. He thought I was gone, and he has totally changed his life so we can be together. I just wish I was normal... I want him to have happy and normal."
"Kurt." His dad said and his voice was firm. "Blaine hasn't done anything he hasn't wanted to do. And trust me, he is happy. The only thing wrong right now is the fact that he knows you aren't telling him something."
"But... what if one day he decides being with me is too much drama, or work?"
"Relationships are always work." His dad answered quickly. "They take work and communication. If you want your relationship to be happy,strong, and normal, then you have to communicate. Kurt, talk to him."
Kurt sighed and rubbed his hand down his face. Burt was right.. of course he was. And Kurt knew it. He knew what he needed to do before his dad said it.
"Right. Talk to him. He might freak out."
"He might." His dad agreed. "Neither of you are strangers to drama." Kurt could hear the chuckle in his dad's voice. "But he'll be okay. And I know you'll both feel better. Maybe you two will never be completely normal, but that would be boring anyway. What's a unicorn without a horn?" His dad asked with a smile in his voice.
"It's friggin' horse." Kurt laughed, remembering having a similar conversation with his dad when he was just a teenager who wanted to fit in. Kurt already felt better, nervous, but better, already making plans on talking to Blaine.
"Thanks Dad." Kurt said with a smile.
"Anytime."
They said their goodbyes and "I love you"s, which is how they always ended their calls. Kurt hung up and bit his lip, glancing at the door, wondering how he was going to spend the time before Blaine got home.