Ch25: Lament
I do no own HTTYD or those characters, I am the one who made all of past, present, and near and far future OC and OOC.
"Welcome back mom. Are you alright? You look pale."
My daughter greeted me as I slowly shut the door behind me. Leaning back on the shut door and tried to gather myself. I could feel my hands shaking still after my encounter.
I try to steady myself as I reply my daughter. "Y-yes dear j j just a little t tired."
"Well you look like you were running the whole forest. Let me get you some water Lanie."
"Thank you." I make my way to one of the chairs in the living room. I fall harshly onto the seat.
The children look at me with concerned wonder over what could have me in such a frantic state. Chapskin brings me a tankard of water which I shakily swallow down.
"Mom what happened? You look like you saw a dragon." Shazz inquires me.
"Yeah didn't you take a bag with you?"
"It's nothing dear j just just a bear in the woods."
They don't buy my explanation at all. Of course they wouldn't, its winter, bears are hibernating now.
"Really it was just a bear. I found some good ingredients near a cave and I disturbed a bear that was inside. I lost my satchel somewhere between there and here when I was escaping the bear. I spent most of the afternoon looking for my dropped bag so I'm a bit tired."
They hesitate but find my excuse passable. "Well it's starting to get dark so we'll have to retrieve your bag tomorrow." Shazz informs us. Actually since I left it back at the gate of the Kill Ring I will have to go back and get it before anyone else finds it.
"Yes. So how did you two manage? Any change in his condition?" They nod to each other and explain.
"His fever is more or less gone, his wounds aren't bleeding anymore, but he's still unconscious." Shazz details Hiccups condition for the day.
"That's good." A small chill runs up my spine as I imagine the consequences if otherwise.
"Mom you're shivering. Maybe you should come closer to the fire." Shazz suggests to me as I didn't even notice my own state.
"Right." I move the chair closer to the flames and put my hands up to warm me. The heat seems to calm me as it wraps me in the familiar comfort of home.
"If you'd like you could go and have diner. We can stay here and keep watching him for the night." Chapskin kindly offers.
"No, I think I'll make something here. You two should go eat out."
"If you're cooking then we'll just eat here." Chapskin tells me. No, I just want to be alone for now. I have too much on my mind to be with too many people.
"No, it's better you two go out to eat. And please don't argue. I'm going to bed after I eat, and I don't care what the chief ordered, you don't have to come here tomorrow. You two have a very important day coming up in four days. So don't bother with worrying about things unrelated to your wedding. Once you're married then I think you can come and worry over Hiccup if he's still here. Shazz, Chapskin, am I clear. This better not affect your preparations. Worry about yourselves when you can do something before you go worrying about others who you cannot do anything about. Don't worry I have this under control, I am the eldest healer on the island, remember. So I don't want to see you or anyone else unless you really are sick or injured."
"But"
"No buts Shazz. Go get married. That's an order. And stop having sex all the time. Wait till your wedding night, it is in four days so I'm sure you two can abstained till then."
"H how"
"Everyone in the village knows. You should hear yourselves, you're loud enough to raise the dead. Chapskin you sound like a wolf howling to the moon, but you need to learn to hold out longer otherwise Shazz will only climax half the time you do. And Shazz you moan too much it's distracting to everyone. Am I understood?!"
"Yes Ma'am!"
"Good now go eat and go home, but not here and no more. Clear."
"Yes Ma'am!"
They agree but they just stand their frozen and red.
"Leave!" And they bolt out the door.
That should keep them away. I was going to tell her that before she was wed during the cleaning but this is ok too.
But their frantic reaction does do a bit to raise my spirits. It's good that they'll stay clear of here till the wedding. I'm sure they still have things that they need to prepare for.
Four more days. My little baby will be leaving my house in four days and now I probably won't see her till then. I'm happy for her future but I still can help but feel lonely about it too.
If my husband was still alive then I probably would not feel so lonely but now my house is empty. Only my mysterious patient remains to keep me company. It would be better if he was awake but it cannot be helped. And when he leaves it will just be me here alone.
My house is now just a place of work. It's now the healers hut and little else. Shazz will have a new place to call home, a new bed to lay her head, and new arms that will greet her back.
I'm happy but it brings me to tears as well. I'm conflicted in how I should feel.
It's an empty feeling that's left in my home. I may still see her around, especially if she comes to do some work here as a healer, but it not like that's all she'll do.
She's a warrior. A warrior of Grissgom and soon a wife, wife of the soon to be chief. She will have more responsibilities then being at home chatting with her mother.
I love my village and am really connected to my work, but now that I'm left here alone here it makes me wonder if it isn't time retire. Pass on the title of the village healer and maybe
Actually I don't know what after that. Do Vikings actually retire? And if we do what do we do afterwards.
"scratch scratch'
A paralyzing panic hits me when I hear that noise. It comes from the closed window
'scratch scratch'
He keeps doing it. But I'm unsure what to do.
'scratch scratch scratch'
What should I do? Will he break in? Will he kill me?
'scratch scratch scratch'
But he didn't before. Back at the Kill Ring I had thought he was going to kill me. His eyes all but did it.
'scratch scratch scratch scratch'
But then as his mouth filled with a murderous blue light he looked at me. His fire vanished and his jaw bit into his own leg. I saw all his rage turn to sorrow and regret in an instant. He didn't kill me, he stepped back and just looked away in shame. And I ran.
'scratch scratch scratch scratch'
He's going to damage my window.
I step over to the window being abused and let him in.
I let the dragon in.
He doesn't jump in but slowly and hesitantly looks at me. He was waiting for my permission to enter.
"Come now get in, your brothers asleep but I am sure he is waiting for you."
He come in but is very careful and very slowly. He walks like he's stepping on shards of metal. I see that he puts something at my feet; it was my bag that I left behind.
I look at his face and despite him being a dragon I know that look well. Shazz had that look many times when she had done something she knew was wrong. It was the regret of a child who just threw a tantrum.
He crawls over to Hiccup looks down at him but rather than lay next to him he continues on to the corner where he curls himself up and closes his eyes.
I was hungry. My growling stomach finally alerted me to this. I didn't eat lunch since I was either following him all morning and sitting next to the sneaking dragon all afternoon while he was watching the Kill Ring.
I start working on making myself some food when I realize that the big brother probably was hungry as well.
I remember that he ate fish in the morning so I see if he'll take some now. I grab some fish from the basket and show it to him. He takes one peek and looks away back at Hiccup.
"Sorry if this is not what you usually eat for diner." He shakes his head and looks back at Hiccup.
"If you're wondering how he's doing today then don't worry. He's doing much better. He still needs rest but he's not at any risk at the moment." He takes the information looks at the fish in my hand and then back to Hiccup.
Is he hungry or worried for Hiccup? It really would be better if Hiccup was awake.
He starts making a smacking motion with his mouth while looking at Hiccup.
Ohhh. "So you want him to be fed first is that it." He softly nods at my answer. He probably could use some food, I didn't learn from the kids if they feed him or not.
"Sure I'll make some soup for him, but what about you?"
He just keeps looking at Hiccup. I guess he won't eat till he's fed. I decide to leave the fish next to him and move back to the kitchen to work on diner for Hiccup and I.
Once I was done cooking the food I started to feed Hiccup first. I have him swallow the herbal broth and once he finished the bowl I start my own food.
Done eating I put my focus on the dragon. He notices my gaze and just looks away. I'm conflicted over what I should do. After what happened at the Kill Ring I feel that he was a threat, but looking at him now that fury he had was gone and turned into a deep melancholy filled regret over what he did.
He looked like a child who just tossed their parents prized family sword into the sea.
"So do you feel sorry over what you almost did?" I ask him. He nods and looks away with his eyes filled with shame.
"I should apologize too. I should not have let you go their knowing what had happened. But I'm surprised that you were able to tell what happened. Or did you?"
He snorts out loud and pushes his snout with his paws. "Smelled bad for you then." He keeps rubbing his nose.
"I know what it feels to know that your comrades were killed be the enemy." But he shakes his head denying it.
"I do know. I was married twice and both times they died protecting this village. I don't think loss is anything anyone is used to or ever can. I cannot believe I am talking about loss to a dragon."
He looks at me wondering what I meant. It really was a surreal scene; I'm talking to the enemy, who isn't even human, about my life like I was lecturing him on some life lesson. It's made even stranger by the fact that not long ago I was just running from him thinking he was going to kill me for being a member of the village that kill his comrades.
And now that same dragon is here in my house like what he tried to do didn't happen. You're not supposed to take someone trying to kill you lightly and you're certainly not supposed to forgive them, so why let the dragon return? Why would I help him in the first place?
What I'm doing maybe more than for the sake of the injured Hiccup. After all I could be wrong on their relationship; the dragon could be hunting Hiccup and is simply waiting for him to get better to continue. It's unlikely and doesn't make sense but it's also a possibility. All I really know is that I have a dragon caring for a boy who was just tortured.
The dragon gave a small roar trying to get my attention. I look at him in the corner turning his head in an inquisitive turn. He wanted to know if I had something to say to him about Hiccup.
"You lost control back there. I understand why but just know I'm not going to let you go for that." He lays his ears and head down on his paws like he knew he was getting punished and was waiting to get it over with.
"Unfortunately your punishment will have to wait until Hiccup wakes up. I think he has more authority to punish you than I do." He looks at me like he got away with it.
"But I will tell you that you are grounded here till he does wake." His surprise was fun to see. "In this house or out of sight, that's all. You can't go anywhere else and you absolutely can't be seen by anyone until Hiccup wakes up and can give you his punishment. It'll mean more to you coming from him I bet."
He accepts his temporary punishment for now and curls up by Hiccups feet.
All I can do is wait till I hear the story from Hiccup. Here alone with a dragon and an injured boy.
Damn it I really have lost it, didn't I.
Worst of all I lost it in front of the nin.. dah! I mean human! I really lost my cool and probably any trust I had with the healer. Just remembering what I almost did makes me hate myself.
I damn near killed her just cause she was right there. I'm glad that I didn't, that would have really damned Hiccup. Murder on the island, the stranger would have been the first suspect.
Right at the moment that I almost shot her I looked at her green eyes. They weren't the same green that Hiccup had but for a moment they were close enough to remind me of such. Enough to pull me back. But I still felt the impulse and I desperately wanted to get rid of that gnawing feeling, I didn't even mean to but I find my teeth biting into my arm fully bringing me back to reality.
At which point I see the healer running away.
Déjà vu. I think that's what Hiccup called this feeling of repeat. Still it's been a long time since I've had to watch someone run away from me in fear. Once upon a time that was the only reaction I ever got from humans.
The nostalgic scene brings a bitter taste to my mouth. Funny I should taste the warm taste of my dissipating ignition gas that I almost used but I don't. I feel heavy.
I'm feeling guilty. The healer risked a lot and I just snapped at her like she had anything to do about what I was feeling. She has absolutely nothing to do about it. She's not like the other Vikings I've met she doesn't have any smell of dragon blood on her at all, she only smells of human blood and the bitter plants that humans use to heal. She's not a fighter she only prevents others from dying. It's admirable to me who can only hurt others to help them, the ability to help without violence.
I saw that she had forgotten her bag that carried food and more of the bitter grass. I knew that it was evidence to something suspicious happening here so I bring it with me back to her house.
I felt so pathetic for losing control that slumping my way back was all I could do at first. Then I remembered Hiccup was at her house. I ran the rest of the way back.
It wasn't till I reached the house that I was concerned. Listening to her talk to the others in there made me feel trapped and cornered, if she turned us in then everything was over. We can't run and I can't fight them while protecting Hiccup. He's in their hands and it wouldn't take much for them to kill him. Maybe if I could get him away but I can't while he's in their dwelling, and even then we would still be trapped on this land and they would chase us. In Hiccups condition running like that would kill him.
But then while I was outside of the house waiting for the worst to happen and hear the sound of their battle cry, the children left the house but not in battle ready state.
They fled saying something about too much information.
I kept waiting for the sound of battle cries but they never came, watching the pair they only stooped running and walked into the village like nothing happened. One question was left in the wake of the children. 'Is she's still protecting us?'
I really didn't expect to still be welcomed inside so I was going to leave the bag and hide in the forest to watch over Hiccup. I scratch on the opening I've been using but when she opened she invited me in.
I shouldn't have but my body automatically obeys. I didn't want to push my luck anymore so I just curl up in the corner closest to Hiccup and wait. I didn't expect anything else, but the Healer kept trying to communicate with me. I respond to be nice but really it just confused me.
She was mad but it's not the 'I'll kill you', mad rather….. I don't know?
She then says she doesn't forgive me and then brings up punishment. Moment of truth and she lets me off with being grounded. I'm already grounded without Hiccup!
She also says she'll tell Hiccup about this and would let him decide what do with me.
…
Oh joy.
I sit closer to Hiccup seeing as for whatever reason we're not dead.
But why? Really why?
So much why is making my head spin.
Now that my heads out of my confidence fueled haste, I can really see that I was being stupid about what I was trying to do. I focused so much on the positive that would have happened that I ignored how bad things would have gone had I messed up. If I was going to call what I tried anything, it would be recklessly selfish.
I was acting like I used to where I didn't have to worry about an ally. Acting like the consequences would only fall on me and skip over everyone else. Sure I planned on how to cover all my scales regarding Hiccup, how to make sure that what I did couldn't hit us to hard. But I really didn't think of how others would react to what I was doing, how Hiccup would have felt in the rescue or the escape. I didn't think about what was right for everyone and only wanted to do good for me.
Freeing the Uverworlders was the right idea, that's not in doubt. It's my optimism in doing it and being able to do it myself that was wrong. For instance what if the Uverworlders had attacked us the second they were freed? Or if one of them died on the run, vengeance on this land would have become unavoidable.
And I can't forget Hiccup. If I had gone thru with anything I had planned Hiccup would be further drawn into my trouble. It would have increased his own wanted status on both sides the humans would be alerted to the dragon supporting human, and the Uverworlders would have more witnesses to the Ningen ally of darkwing. And who knows what would have happened to the healer if her help was uncovered, worst case she meets the same end as Gobber.
Before I never had to worry about how it ended for others, casualties were always expected and always happened. I was never connected to them so I always let slide off my back. So long as things changed and the fighting ended somehow it really didn't matter what happened to anyone. Even if everyone just died, which has happened a few times, I would still just move on. After all I was always just the hunted outsider getting in everyone's way.
I can't rely on my old ways anymore. Too much has changed in me that I just can't risk it. I have someone I have to be responsible for, I have family I care for and can't be dragging into trouble. Not when he doesn't know how bad thing could really be.
Hiccups situation is different from mine. This territory is his birthplace; he has every right to do whatever he thinks is the right thing or to make it better and if he goes too far I have to be there to pull him back from doing the wrong thing.
He has reason to fight, to try and make things better. He wants to run but not before doing what's right. He wants to know that he did everything he could here and that there is nothing else that would pull him back once we leave.
He wants to do the right thing for the home that doesn't want him.
That's one thing I agree with, we want to change things here. Even if no one else wants it or supports us.
I just wish he tell him the whole story he wants to know. Everything about the queen and how this is all her fault.
I turn my head to watch the healer as she starts checking over Hiccup, soon a sour expression crosses her face.
'Is something wrong with Hiccup?!'
"Those two…. One of them needs a chastity belt, without a key."
'I…I I don't know what that means. Is it bad?'
She must have noticed my concern. "Oh it's not about Hiccup. It's my daughter. She really is becoming all play and no work."
'What about her?'
She stands up and gets a scrap of fabric and wets it. I lean closer to sniff the spot she was examining. It was kinda wet and stick but mostly dry and flaky.
'What the?! Those two were mating right next to him! And for a long time too. Mmmm?' I sniff even more because I detected something more.
"Since you can tell what happened at the dragon ring you should be able to tell what they were doing here while we were gone. So?"
'They started copulating an hour after you left and stopped about I think twenty minutes before you got back with brief pauses every now and then. You know this reminds me of all the times that I've watched human pairs mate. Seriously you humans can just about do it anywhere, except the sky but then again that's an obvious thing without wings. Hah, I still remember that pair that started in their house and two hours later found themselves on another side of their land. They were so confused.'
"They were at it for some time weren't they?" I nod. "My oh my. That's the problem with children, easily distracted and addicted. They had five rooms in the house and they did it here in the one room where they were supposed to be responsible."
I shake my head. 'No they didn't. It smells like they did all over your house. Didn't start here at least.'
She sighed. "Thank you for telling me that. That child of mine, if she was not getting married I would be punishing her up to her neck." She seemed frustrated. Something she said reminded me of what else I smelled. I think she noticed that I had something else to say. "What else?"
'She's with eggs or wait humans don't have eggs do they. Human females have hatchlings inside their bodies don't you? How does that work? Ehww! That's disgusting! Well either way I can smell it in her mating fluids.'
"I'm sorry but what is it? You look like you had a very disturbing thought."
I look around and see something that could convey my message. I walk over to the kitchen and grab it from the basket it was in, take it to her and drop it in her hands.
She looks at the egg in her hand and try's to work out the message. Doesn't look like she's getting it. "I'm sorry, I do not understand. What does an egg mean to a drago…." Her eyes widen enough to cover her face.
'Congratulations.'
"SHE'S PREGNATE!?"