"Well, I looked like a tent," Rachel said, as she sat heavily on the orange sofa at Central Perk next to Phoebe. She and Monica had just come back from the final fitting of Rachel's bridesmaid dress.

Monica giggled a little. "Oh, you did not!"

"Everyone will be looking at the bride anyway," Phoebe said with a wave of her hand.

"Not if I'm blocking all the sightlines," Rachel sighed.

Monica laughed and Rachel was happy to see it. Her sister-in-law had seemed a little more relaxed today, and Rachel couldn't help but wonder if it was because Richard was out of town. The only time Monica had tensed up was when Rachel had asked if he was having a good time in Tampa. Monica bristled just enough that Rachel noticed. She said she talked to him on the phone in the morning and confirmed he was having a good time, but didn't give Rachel any more detail than that.

Monica didn't want to tell her Richard had called because another doctor at the conference had a time-share in Phoenix and had offered it to Richard for a few weeks later in the year, to get to know the area better. Her icy reception to idea wasn't lost on Richard. He'd told her to forget about it for now and that he'd see her on Tuesday.

It was another tense conversation with him and that, coupled with her now full-blown crush on Chandler, was beginning to really get to her.

She was sure it was a crush - just a crush, because of that one incredible kiss. She kept telling herself that's what it was - nothing more.

She just had to stop thinking about him.

"Did the guys leave for the game?" Rachel asked Phoebe.

Ross, Joey and Chandler had scored tickets to the Knicks Saturday night playoff game. Joey had been bouncing off the walls in anticipation for days.

"Yeah," she said, then added. "Can you believe Chandler's news?"

Monica turned her attention to Phoebe.

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked.

"That job," she said. "I can't believe he might actually take it."

Monica and Rachel looked at her, both confused.

"The writing job?" Monica asked. "Why wouldn't he take it? It sounds like it's his if he wants it. I think it's a good move for him."

Rachel nodded her agreement.

"The job might be, but do you really think the move is?" Phoebe asked.

"Ah…what?" Rachel asked.

Joey had told Phoebe just that afternoon that Chandler's job was in LA.

She assumed everyone already knew. She sensed now that she was wrong.

"The move…" she said, slowly. "The job is in Los Angeles."

"Wha…are you serious?!" Rachel said, stunned.

"Yeah," Phoebe said, nodding her head. "Joey told me that Chandler told him…"

Rachel quickly turned her head to Monica.

"Did you know?" she blurted out, but she knew the answer before she asked the question.

Monica's face had turned white and she looked like she'd just lost her best friend.

###

Chandler put Jeff Buckley's "Grace" into his CD player on "repeat" and sat on his couch.

The Knicks had won in a thrilling comeback playoff victory, but he felt like he hadn't even been there.

His mind had been churning all night. He'd downed several beers, and was in the middle of another, trying to dull the ache he felt every time he thought about telling Monica the job was in LA.

But he knew he'd have to find the courage to tell her soon - before anyone else did. Joey had beat it out of him this morning, bombarding him with questions until he slipped up and said he was "flying out" for the on-site interviews Monday morning.

Even Joey didn't miss that reference.

Chandler told him not to tell anyone, but he wasn't at all sure Joey would keep it to himself.

Stretching out on the couch he listened as the opening lines of "Hallelujah" were interrupted by an impatient pounding on the door.

"I'm coming!" he shouted, wondering who could be at his apartment at midnight.

He opened the door and there stood a furious, and somewhat drunk, Monica.

Too late, he thought, she already knew.

"LA?" she yelled at him as she stepped past him and into his living room. "The job is in fucking LA?!"

"Mon…" he said as calmly as he could, closing the door.

"Don't 'Mon' me," she yelled again, whipping her head around to face him. "What the hell are you thinking, Chandler?! Huh, what the hell?!"

And it was then that he snapped.

"What the hell am I thinking?!" he said, shouting right back at her. "I'm thinking it's time I get the fuck out of here - out of this job, out of this apartment, out of this goddamn city!"

"Chandler…" she gasped, briefly taken aback by his outburst, then adding with more force as he walked past her, back toward the couch. "Why? Why do you want to take a job that far away?"

"What do I have keeping me here, Mon? What?!" he asked her sharply, opening his arms wide. Then he put down his beer and placed his hands on his hips, looking intently at her. "I bought this place for her. You know I hate my job. Ross and Rachel are married and having a baby. Joey doesn't need a roommate anymore. Phoebe…Phoebe lived on the streets - she'll certainly survive without me. And you're…you're getting married. And moving to Arizona, apparently. So you tell me, Monica, you tell me what's keeping me here?"

"I'm not moving to Arizona," she said, her anger rising again. "Don't change the subject. All those people you just named love you, and you're just running away from us - from your family..."

"Kathy doesn't," he said, crossing his arms, challenging her. "Love me, I mean."

"You know what I mean," she snapped, raising her voice. "Don't talk to me about semantics!"

"Semantics?!" he said, his voice matching hers, alcohol and his emotions getting to him. "You aren't hearing me. It's all about the damn semantics and what the fuck it all means! What the hell am I doing here? I don't have anything to be in New York for anymore..."

She felt tears at the back of her eyes as she just stared at him. She'd felt like she was going to be sick when Phoebe said the job was going to take him across the country. She'd made excuses to her and Rachel and gone home.

She tried to drink wine. She'd tried scotch on the rocks with a twist. She tried to sleep.

The panic she felt well up within her only grew.

And as she sat alone in her apartment she could feel him slipping away…from her…and she was near hysterical with the desire to stop him.

So when she was sure the damn game was over and he'd be home she went to confront him, madder than hell.

But here he was, being uncharacteristically stubborn, and listing off all the logical reasons he had to go.

And despairing now, she gave him the only reason she had left for him to stay.

"You have me," she said her voice strained as she walked over to him and put her hands on his arms, trying to keep her emotions under control. "You're my best friend. You have me."

He stared at her. She was trembling, near tears. But what he saw wasn't just anger, it was desperation.

Why the hell was she looking at him like that, he thought, like she had on the balcony that night?

He briefly closed his eyes.

"I don't have you," he whispered, putting his hands on her shoulders. "Richard has you. You don't need me."

"I do, Chandler," she said softly.

"Monica…"

"I do…I need you," she whispered, looking up into his now smoldering blue eyes. Her need for him took over her every thought, word and action. She closed the gap between them and pressed her lips to his.

For a brief moment he kissed her back before gently pushing her shoulders.

"No, Mon…no," he whispered, trying to catch his breath. Trying to still his heart. "Don't…we can't do this…"

Her eyes were still closed as she grabbed onto his Knicks t-shirt with both hands and pulled herself to him, her lips capturing his again.

Her heart was pounding. She knew on some level what she was doing was wrong, but in that moment she just didn't care.

Summoning every ounce of willpower remaining he tried to push her away one more time.

"Monica, look at me," he whispered, still gripping her shoulders. Her eyes opened and he swallowed hard.

He opened his mouth to protest but no words came out. He got lost looking into her bright blue eyes burning with desire - for him.

"I need…you," she breathed, her gaze moving to his lips, her arms reaching around his back.

And instead of pushing her away his hands curled around her shoulders and he pulled her to him.

That soft spot he'd always held for her in his heart burst forth in one swift instant and he couldn't stop, no matter how much his brain was telling him to do so.

His lips forced hers open as he kissed her deeply, his tongue dueling with hers.

Her hands moved to his hair as she locked him even tighter into their kiss. His hands moved from her shoulders, gently grazing the sides of her breasts before gripping her hard at the top of her hips, pulling her against him. She let out a deep moan as his lips left hers and moved to her neck.

Then a moment later with a half-moan, half-grunt he picked her up in his arms and carried her to his bedroom, his eyes never leaving hers.

He laid her on his bed and hesitated just a moment.

She reached up and pulled him down on top of her, his face in her hands.

"Make love to me, Chandler," she said in barely a whisper, and she kissed him again, reveling in the feel of his lips. His scent engulfed her as his body pressed down on hers.

She couldn't get him close enough.

And he couldn't hold back the torrent of emotions that hit him. She was small, trembling beneath him, waiting for his touch.

He quickly undid the buttons on her blouse and she pulled his t-shirt over his head. He ripped down her bra and brought his lips to her breast.

She arched her back on his bed, and moaned his name.

###

Monica woke in the middle of a dream. She was with Chandler and they'd just made love - twice - and it had been unlike any sex she'd ever had. He'd been perfect in every way - caressing, touching, petting, kissing her in all the right places on her body - taking her higher than she'd ever been before. He'd left her shaking, begging for more.

She blinked her eyes, and for a moment she didn't know where she was.

She turned and saw him sleeping on his stomach, his back to her, his face turned away.

She gasped when she realized it wasn't a dream. He stirred slightly and she stared at his bare back, longing to push her naked body against him and wrap her arms around him in his sleep.

She lifted her left hand to run her fingers through his hair, and as she did so she saw her engagement ring reflecting in the low glow of the outside streetlight that filled his bedroom.

Oh. My. God.

Monica quietly got off the bed and quickly gathered her clothes. She stepped out into the living room and put them on as her hands started to tremble.

She was one step from the front door when she suddenly stopped, turned and walked back toward his bedroom. She leaned up against the doorframe and watched him sleep. She held her breath, clutched her clasped hands to her chest and tried not to cry.

He looked so peaceful.

Slowly she pressed two fingers to her lips and kissed them.

She quietly walked over and gently pushed them onto his back.

Then she turned to go.

She softly closed the front door as the last notes of "Hallelujah" filtered through the dark apartment.

###

On Monday morning Chandler stared out the window of the Boeing 747 as it roared down the runaway at JFK International Airport. He watched as New York City disappeared from view and the plane soared through the clouds. And he knew no matter what happened from here on out his life would never be the same again.

NOTE: I very, very randomly came across Jeff Buckley's version of "Hallelujah" a couple months ago. The song is so haunting and beautiful, and angsty enough that I thought it might be something Chandler would listen to if his heart was in turmoil. I just had to double-check that it would fit the time period of season 4, and yay, it did (it was first released in the mid-90s, a cut on Buckley's only studio album "Grace"). If you haven't heard it, give it a listen. I hope you'll understand why I thought it fit so well here. And, to be honest, I struggled mightily with this chapter for a whole host of reasons, though I must admit I was pleased with the way it turned out…I'm sure you'll let me know what you think. ;) And, yes, my heart broke in half for poor, tormented Monica when she left, and I wrote the darn thing! Thanks, as always, for your reviews! :)