"Her Grandma has some sort of stomach virus," Rachel told Monica, having just come from taking a phone call from Phoebe. "She won't be over tonight, but of course she'll be at the wedding tomorrow."

Monica just nodded. Phoebe had been planning to spend the night at Ross and Rachel's, with Monica, for one last girls' night.

The rehearsal dinner had just wrapped up in the party room at JaVu. Monica's parents, Michelle and Tim and their spouses, and Ross and Rachel were the only members of the wedding party, but some out-of-town relatives had come to the dinner as well.

Monica had smiled and nodded all night, made small talk as well as she could, and checked in on the kitchen about six times - just to escape the suffocation she was feeling in the room. Rachel had watched her closely, with growing concern.

And so had Jack.

He and Ross had played golf with Richard that day and it had been a somewhat uneasy outing for Monica's Dad. Richard had been in very high spirits, joking and carefree. Jack didn't see the same happiness coming from his daughter and it worried him.

He walked over to Ross, who was getting ready to leave to meet Joey and Chandler after the dinner and be out of the girls' way for the rest of the evening.

"You headed out?" Jack asked.

"Yeah," Ross said. "The guys are waiting for me."

Jack nodded. "And Chandler's really leaving?"

Ross sighed sadly. "Yep, next week."

Just then Richard walked up to them and gave Ross a half-hug.

"Hey, thanks for today and tonight," he said. "Did Tim give you the rings? He didn't want to keep them in the hotel…"

"Yep…yeah," Ross nodded. "Rachel has them in her purse. You going home?"

Richard nodded. "You're going to meet Joey and Chandler, right?"

"Yeah," he said, then added half-heartedly, "if you want to come…"

"No, no that's alright," Richard said, with a wave of his hand. "Michelle and Phillip are staying with me. But, listen, tell Chandler I said 'congratulations!' I am really happy for him. It just…it sounds like a great opportunity for him."

Ross studied Richard a moment. This was the third time he'd mentioned Chandler and his new job to him today. Was he really so dense that he didn't see how upset everyone was that Chandler was leaving, especially his own fiancée? Ross was sure the sadness so plainly hanging over his sister had a lot to do with her best friend moving to California. They were all feeling it.

"I will," Ross said slowly. "But, you know Monica…"

"Yeah," Richard interrupted. "Yeah, I know she's…um…pretty upset about it. I know. But she'll be OK."

He patted Jack on the back and made his way to the other side of the room, calling over his shoulder, "see you tomorrow."

###

Both women had their hair up in sloppy ponytails and were in sweats and tank tops sitting in Ross and Rachel's living room, Rachel on the couch and Monica draped over the love seat. Monica had already finished off a bottle of wine and had just opened a second. Rachel was dutifully drinking her water and observing her friend.

She glanced at Monica off and on while they watched the movie. She could see Monica was barely paying attention. She looked like her mind was far away….lost, and sad. She'd been like a smiling zombie at the rehearsal dinner. Something was very wrong and Rachel had finally had enough. She grabbed the remote and turned off the TV.

It took Monica a moment to realize "Harry" was no longer meeting "Sally."

"What are you doing?" Monica asked, confused.

Rachel sighed - determined to get to the bottom of whatever was going on.

"Mon, what's wrong?" she asked, looking directly at her friend.

Monica looked away and looked down, ringing the top of her mostly empty wineglass with her finger. "What do you mean?" she whispered.

"You're the saddest bride-to-be I've ever seen," Rachel said, sympathetically, believing she knew exactly what Monica was feeling. She knew Monica had doubts about Richard, and that the different life phases they were in had been putting a strain on the relationship for a while.

"If you're not happy, Monica, you don't have to do it," she said quietly. "You can walk away…if it's not right."

Monica took a deep, haggard breath. The emotions she had tried to hold at bay all day, just below the surface, started to take over. She tried, unsuccessfully, to not cry as she looked at Rachel.

Rachel was taken aback by the look of complete confusion on her friend's face. Monica was always in control, always sure of what she was doing, even if it came at the expense of her own needs. She'd never seen her look like she looked now.

"Monica, talk to me," Rachel reached for her hand, completely worried. "Did something happen? Did you and Richard fight? Did he…did he…"

"No," Monica said, quickly. "No. It's not Richard. It's not about Richard…not really…"

Monica looked up and then closed her eyes, trying to find the strength to talk.

She needed to tell someone.

She looked at her sister-in-law, one of her oldest friends. She could trust Rachel. Rachel wouldn't judge her. She might - might - even understand.

"Promise me," she said fighting tears, but finding her voice. "Promise me you'll keep this between us, only between us, and that…that…you won't hate me."

"Of course!" Rachel said at once. "Monica, it's me. Please, I'm worried about you."

Taking another deep breath, she gripped Rachel's hand tighter.

"I slept with Chandler," she whispered.

Rachel froze, not sure if she'd heard her correctly.

"Chandler?" she gasped. "Our Chandler?"

Monica gave her a sad smile.

"How many 'Chandlers' do you know?"

Rachel looked at her in shock.

"What? When?! I…this…I mean, this is unbelievable!"

Monica took a shaky breath.

"It was the day Phoebe told us that job was in LA," Monica said, wiping her eyes. "I…when she told us I…I panicked. I physically...I couldn't take the thought of…him…leaving."

She paused, trying to regain some composure before continuing.

"Richard was…he was at the conference so I…I went…I went to his…Chandler's apartment to try to, I don't know, talk him into staying, I guess," she said quietly, looking down. "We got into a pretty intense…fight and…and to shut him up about all the reasons he had for leaving I…I kissed him."

"Oh, Mon…" Rachel said, her heart breaking for her friend. This is why the tension between them had been so thick at dinner - it all made sense now.

"He tried…he tried to stop…I wouldn't let him," she continued, choking on her words. "I wanted him Rachel…more than I have ever wanted anyone in my life. And at that moment I know he wanted me, too. I never knew…I didn't realize how much I…how much...I need him. How much…how much…"

She trailed off and looked up again.

Rachel handed her a tissue from the box on the coffee table. She stayed silent, just holding her hand. And as she searched Monica's anguished face, she didn't see a woman feeling guilt or remorse over cheating on her fiancé.

She saw a woman falling apart because she was losing the man she loved - and that man clearly wasn't Richard.

"It was the most amazing thing ever," Monica continued, that dreamy far-away look coming back into her features. "Once we started we couldn't stop. I didn't want him to stop. Oh, God, I wanted to stay. I wanted to stay and pretend (she shook her head). I wanted…it was incredible. He…he was incredible…"

She pulled her hands from Rachel's and wrapped her arms around herself, looking away. Rachel was nearly in tears, trying to digest what she had just heard. She took a deep breath.

"Was it…maybe…Monica," she started, trying to make sense of it in the only way that didn't end up in complete misery and heartbreak for everyone involved, but not even believing her own words when she said them. "Could it just have been cold feet? Maybe you just wanted one…fling, before…"

Monica let out a strangled laugh. She knew where Rachel was going with that comment - it was exactly what Chandler had said.

"Rach, I've rationalized it in every possible way," Monica said, sounding exhausted from the mental effort as she wiped her eyes again. "No, it wasn't cold feet. It wasn't anything other than…him."

After a moment Rachel stood up to get Monica some water, her mind reeling. She knew Monica and Chandler almost as well as she knew herself. She knew how close they had been, for years - and she had often wondered "what if?" when it came to the two of them. But now the "what if" had been unleashed at the worst possible time. And judging by Monica's current emotional state the attraction was more powerful than she even imagined it would be. Rachel thought about Chandler and shook her head. She knew this must be killing him.

She walked back over to Monica. There was no way she could or should marry Richard tomorrow. No way.

"OK," she said, as she handed Monica the water and sat back down. "You will have to talk to Richard. Ross and I will come with you. Then I'll…I'll have Ross call your parents in the morning, it'll be…easier…coming from him…"

"What will?" Monica looked up from her glass of water.

"Canceling the wedding!" Rachel said, looking at Monica like she was crazy. "You can't seriously be considering going through with it!"

Monica swallowed hard. "Yes, I am."

Rachel was beside herself.

"What? No. No! Monica, sweetie, listen to me." she pleaded, grabbing her hand. "You're weren't thinking straight before. But now you…you know what you want! You can walk away. I did! I walked away from Barry. I will help you walk away. We all will..."

"No," Monica said, her face turning cold, determined, seemingly resigned to her fate. "I… won't."

Rachel just stared at her, refusing to believe what she was hearing.

"Monica! You are completely in love with another man. You love Chandler! You have to talk to him…"

"He's leaving, Rachel!" she said, hotly. "He's still leaving and…and…"

Monica practically jumped off the loveseat and went to look out the big picture window, tears beginning to stream down her face.

She wiped at them fiercely. God, she was so tired of crying over him.

"And what?!' Rachel insisted, following her to the window. "You have to tell him how you feel! My God, Monica, you can't just…"

"He told me to marry Richard," Monica interrupted quietly, looking out at the balcony.

"What?!"

Monica crossed her arms and turned to face Rachel, who immediately put her arms around her heartbroken friend.

"He told me to marry Richard," she repeated into Rachel's shoulder, her muffled voice full of pain.

###

Rachel laid awake in bed, tossing and turning as much from her uncomfortable, growing belly as from the confession from Monica earlier. Monica had slowly, sadly told her everything, including what Chandler had said in the cab after their dinner last weekend, then she begged Rachel not to mention it anymore - and again not to tell anyone, including Ross. She said she was tired and wanted to sleep. Rachel had protested mightily but finally gave in. She hugged her sister-in-law and watched as the door to the guest room closed behind her.

She knew Monica and she knew she would go through with the wedding. It was the plan, after all, the expectation.

But most importantly Monica would go through with it because she was shattered that Chandler was leaving and convinced he was doing so because he didn't want her.

Rachel had a very hard time believing that could be true.

He was sarcastic, he teased, but he would never intentionally hurt his friends, and he would never in a million years purposefully hurt Monica so deeply. Chandler wasn't the one-night-stand-type with a stranger, let alone one of the most important women in his life.

And that sparkle in his eyes, the one that was filled with so much good humor, had been gone for a while. He was now more like a lost man searching for his way - and right now that search was pointing him to Los Angeles. As she thought about it more and more Rachel was convinced he was doing one of two things by taking a job so far away from everything he knew and everyone he loved - he either believed he was being noble or running away. Maybe both.

Rachel sighed and closed her eyes, knowing she and the baby would need sleep to get through tomorrow.

"Hey, babe," Ross whispered as he came into the bedroom a half-hour later.

"Hey."

"I thought you'd be asleep," he remarked as he climbed in beside her. "Can't get comfortable, huh?"

She kissed his cheek. "No."

He wrapped his arms around her and she cleared her throat.

"So, how'd it go?" she asked quietly.

"Oh, the usual," he chuckled, softly. "Joey hooked up and I came home."

She smiled at that. "What about…what about Chandler?"

Ross hesitated a moment. Chandler wasn't himself, that much was certain. He and Joey had spent most of the time they were with him trying to figure out why he was leaving, or trying to talk him into staying. Chandler didn't say much - giving them vague answers to their questions and then leaving the bar early.

"I don't know," Ross said, honestly. "We asked him about the move…we probably bugged him too much. He…he didn't want to talk about it. He really didn't stay long. He had a drink, maybe two and took off - said he was tired."

Rachel closed her eyes. She wanted more than anything to tell Ross what was going on, but she'd promised Monica she wouldn't.

She'd never wanted to break a promise so much in her life.

"You OK?" he asked when she was quiet for a long time.

Fighting back tears she said simply, "just hold me."

###

He'd left the bar and walked around for hours, trying to drive the pain away - trying to talk himself into making it through the next day. Twenty-four hours then he'd be free to go - he could leave her behind and she could live the life she had planned with Richard before he almost screwed it up for her.

And he would make himself start over.

Recognizing where he was Chandler glanced up at the subway station sign.

Twenty-four painful, painful hours…

He practically ran down the stairwell as the train pulled in - the forced air from its arrival hitting him in a hot blast, stealing his breath.

He ran his pre-paid subway card through the turnstile and without a second thought boarded the train car.

It pulled away, carrying him and the rest of its midnight passengers to their ultimate destination - JFK International Airport.

NOTE: I kinda feel like we're all 'Rachel' in this chapter. We can see what Mondler can't, and we know Monica shouldn't marry Richard. But…

The Friends and family are starting to get it now, so that should give you some hope. I seriously did not mean to throw anyone into fits of sobbing with the last chapter, though I guess I'm doing something right if you care. And Mondler2014, even though James Taylor isn't really one of my favorites, I truly commend you for the effort! ;) Thank you ALL so much, again, for your reviews!