My Saving Grace

By: NormanReedus

Are You Real?

"Jenalay Camilla, get up baby girl!" Happy's raspy voice pulled me from my sleep as the bed dipped behind me. I sat up and looked at him, smiling widely.

"I get to see my Old Man today. He's coming home Hap." I whispered, biting my lip, not being able to contain my smile. He chuckled and nodded, smirking.

"He is, so you need to get up and get dressed so we can go get him." He said, leaning down and kissing my head. I nodded and got out of bed and got dressed as quick as I could. I put on make-up, making the bruises less visible, then fixed my hair in a braid. I grabbed my black zip up Nike hoodie and put it on, then slipped my kutte over it. I grabbed my black bandana and tied it around my head.

I grabbed his kutte and walked out of the room to the bar. I met up with the guys, who all had smiles on their faces, "Let's go get my man!" The guys hollered, clapping their hands and walking out of the bar. I got on Kozik's bike and started it up, then put my earphones in my ear. I played the list of songs that Kozik and I loved the most. Lee nodded me to go first, I smiled and took off. Lee fell out with Clay, then Jax and Happy, then Opie and Tig, then Lorca and Donut, then Chibs and Bobby, then Juice and Bowie. Even though Tig and Kozik didn't get along, he was still going for the ride.

Tig was once the Sgt. at Arms in Tacoma. He and Kozik used to be best friends and roommates, until they had a falling out over a dog, Missy. She was a gorgeous German Shepherd, but nothing to fight about. Tig left for Charming, and left her behind—Kozik took her to care for her. Tig thinks Kozik stole Missy from him, but he didn't. He loved that dog just as much as Tig did; he even cried when she died.

We were going to SAMCRO's Rehab. It was a facility for all of the Sons, not just SAMCRO. There was a lot of Sons that check into the Rehab; SAMCRO just founded it. One of the First 9 decided that since back then that more charters were running blow, that there was always a tweaker somewhere mixed in the bunch. The Rehab was located in Salem, Oregon, which was only three hours away from Tacoma.

I smiled as the song, Turn the Page by Metallica, flooded through the earphones. I started singing along with the song as we got on the interstate. We were almost there, and I couldn't wait to wrap my arms around his waist. I couldn't wait to kiss his lips and have him wrapped around me.

I remember the first day we met; I knew I found 'the one'. He was funny, he made me smile; I called him Surfer Boy for the longest time. He and Happy became best friends by being roommates in prison. We talked to each other some during the visitation I had with Happy. He made smile when I found out that Happy was in solitary for being a guy up to get protection—he also covered Kozik's ass. The hit was actually for Kozik, from a dead charter now, but Happy stepped in and almost killed the guy that was after Kozik. At that time in prison, Kozik was a prospect.

The only thing in return that Happy wanted from Kozik was to make sure I was taken care of—because I mean the most to him, other than our Ma. After he and Kozik got out, Happy took Kozik's advice and went to Tacoma. We packed up from Bakersfield and left for Tacoma, and we've been there ever since. I'm thirty-three now, Happy and Kozik are forty-one; we've been there since I was eighteen and them twenty-six.

SAMTAC was set up just like SAMCRO was. It had the auto shop and then the bar and clubhouse. Kozik got Happy and I a job at Tacoma Auto; then Happy and I started prospecting with Kozik. Day after day Kozik and I got closer; we were put in situations where we had to depend on each other. Happy and I were originally supposed to be patched-in because of Uncle Chino, but we decided we didn't want any 'bitch treatment', as we called them. We wanted to earn our stripes, and we did.

I looked down at the gas gage, seeing I was low on fuel. I waved my hand, indicating to stop at the gas station. Five miles later, we were at the Sunoco Gas Station in Portland. I quickly gassed up and walked in, buying a carton of Marlboro Black and a bottle of water. After paying, I walked out to the bike and lit a cigarette quickly, and took a sip of water. I put the bottle of water and the carton of cigarettes in the saddlebags. I got on the bike and started it up and smiled at the guys.

I started back out of the parking lot, and back onto the highway. We were so close to Kozik, and I couldn't fucking wait to get there. Guns N' Roses sounded through my earphones, Don't Cry started playing. I started singing along with the song and just like that, we were in Salem, Oregon.

I pulled into the parking lot of SAMCRO Rehab and parked. I was shaking with happiness and excitement. I looked at the time, it was only 8:50 AM. I groaned and lit another cigarette, sitting on his bike. The guys parked and got off their bikes, walking towards me.

"Calm down sweetheart." Chibs chuckled, wrapping his arm around me. I giggled and nodded, "Ya holdin' up pretty good, considerin' what 'appened lass."

"Yeah, can't grieve about it. After the first couple of weeks, I hardened up." I said, looking up at him. He smiled, and kissed my head.

"You are tha strongest lass I know; other than Gemma." He replied, pulling me up. I took a drag of my cigarette, inhaling slowly. I bit my lip and chuckled.

"For a while there, I didn't think I was going to get out. I went two years too long, I could've prevented this. If I got out the first chance, we wouldn't be here having this conversation." I said, shaking my head in disappointment.

"Lass, this isn't ya fault, oka?" He asked, hugging me, I nodded in his chest, "Just believe the ole' lad. Everyone loves ya, more than ya know lass."

I looked up at him and kissed his cheek, "Thank you Chibs. That means a lot to me." I pulled away and leaned against him, finishing my cigarette. I stumped it out, and stretched, feeling my bones crack. I rolled my neck and looked at the time; 8:52 AM.

"Cami, the doors are about to open." Juice said, smiling widely. I grinned and wrapped my arm around his neck, kissing his cheek. We walked closer to the facility and Happy walked up, kissing my temple. Clay and Lee walked up and checked if the door was open, and to our luck, it was. I could barely keep my excitement down. My heart pounded through my chest, what if Kozik didn't want me?

Lee and Clay led the pact, we followed in suit to the desk. As Lee and Clay talked to the facilitator, Deegan Smith, the guys started clapping. I looked from behind Happy's back and saw him. I breathed heavily, feeling the tears well up in my eyes. Jax and Juice pulled me from behind Happy, to where Kozik could see me. He stopped in his tracks, his eyes widened, and a smile tugging his lips, "Baby," He whispered out.

"Koz!" I exclaimed, running towards him. He dropped his bags, I leaped into his arms, hugging him tightly. He swung us around, I clung onto him tighter, wrapping my legs around his waist, "I've missed you so fucking much. God, I love you Koz. I love you so fucking much. So, so much." The claps were loud, followed by whoops and hollers. I leaned back, looking at his face. I placed my hands on his cheeks, bringing his lips to mine. He slipped his tongue between my lips, tangling itself with mine.

"Quit hoggin' 'im darlin'!" Chibs yelled, making me flip them off. I pulled away and bit my lip, running my hands through his hair. He placed my feet on the ground, pulling me into a hug. I hissed lightly, wrapping my arms around his waist. If you asked me what was more important of Kozik or my sore bones, it would be Kozik without a doubt.

"Are you real?" He asked, as the guys chuckled, "Where have you been? I thought you ran from me." His eyes glistened with tears, I shook my head, as the tears fell down my face.

"Why would I leave you, Koz? You are it for me." I whispered, looking up at him. He wiped my tears away, dipping his head and kissing me once more, "I was kidnapped. I didn't know Jill was dead until yesterday. Let's go home, and I'll tell you about it."

"I love you so much, Cam." He whispered, pressing his lips to mine again. I smiled and pulled away, grabbing his hand.

"I love you, too, Koz." I replied, pulling him behind me. We walked to the guys, they surrounded us in a big group hug. The guys individually hugged Kozik, even Tig, before we checked him out completely of the Rehab center. Bobby gave Kozik his cut and hugged him one more. We walked out of the center and to the bikes.

"You drive the bike all the way down here, injured like that?" Kozik asked, looking down at me. I smiled and nodded. He grinned and pressed his lips to mine, "Mmhm, I love you. I'm so happy you're here, so unbelievably fucking happy Cam."

"Me too, baby. And I love you so much. I'm sorry I pushed you into this." I said, wrapping my arm around his waist. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and kissed my head.

"You didn't do this, I did. It was my decision." He said, looking down at me. I nodded and sighed, "I missed you like hell, baby. When we get back to the clubhouse I want you to tell me what happened. From start to finish."

I looked up at him and smiled weakly, nodding. I stood on my tip-toes and kissed his lips. He got on his bike, and grabbed my hand, helping me on. I put my helmet on, and lit a cigarette taking a long drag. I held it out for Kozik to take a drag, he took it instantly. I giggled and kissed his ear as he took a drag.

"Look over here." Juice said, we looked at him and smiled; he took a picture of us.

"Let's go home. I got what I came for!" I exclaimed, smiling widely. The guys nodded and got on their bikes. Lee and Clay let us go first, Kozik started his bike and pulled out. I wrapped my arms tightly around his abdomen, then laid my cheek on his back. I was happy; he was happy. We were going home together. We were going to be together again, finally.