stay right here, rocketeer
chapter seven

The car ride home from Port Angeles was brutal. I was still partially numb from brushing fingers with Bella, and I had been with Bella for the past two hours so her scent was really getting to me. I was literally starting to be impaired just by being with her.

"How old are you?"

Bella's random question threw me off guard, like she has a habit of doing. All night we had been interrogating each other but always avoiding the pivotal questions that would determine just what we both were.

"Seventeen."

Was I ready for her to know? Was my family at stake if she knew?

"And how long have you been seventeen?"

…but, she's known all along, hadn't she?

"A while."

And the secret was out. I went onto the ramp and entered the highway. I weaved in and out of cars, the red taillights swirling around us, out of focus and peripheral.

"I guess I don't know everything about vampires after all."

"What do you mean?"

"You and your family, you're different from the others, Edward."

"The others?" It was becoming apparent that Bella has had previous experience with my kind. She had the unfair advantage. She knew about us. Yet we knew nothing about her.

"Vampires drink human blood…" Instead of answering my question, she asked the one question I've been anticipating/dreading all long. And here comes the overwhelming self-hatred of being the monster that I was. "…how come you don't?"

Ah. Here I was, about to launch into a well-rehearsed speech as to how we are semi-humane and refrain from drinking human blood, but here Bella was, jumping the gun. She was always full of surprises. How in the world did she know that?

"We went to La Push earlier today," she admitted, "and I got a little inside information on you Cullens."

"La Push? So you met the Quileute."

"Charlie's best friend is Billy Black, who is the tribe leader. I met Billy's son Jacob today and, uh, he told me some Quileute legends about the cold ones who hunted deer instead of people."

"Jacob must be some secret keeper."

"It's not confidential information. Technically, it was all myths and legends."

"How exactly did you get him to confess, because I have a feeling Jacob didn't just come up to you and go, 'Oh hey, I have a dying urge to share a story about vampires with you right now.'"

She smiled. "Okay, maybe I flirted with him a little bit."

"Again with the ruthless heartbreaking!"

"Hey!" Bella moved to playfully slap my arm, but then remembered and restrained herself. Thank you.

"I'm just joking, Bella. I'm sure you're not intentionally messing with guys' minds. With someone as pretty as you, even without trying, you could get any guy you want under your spell." There was a moment of silence before we both cracked up at my attempted pun, which was probably even lamer than her earlier one.

"Yeah, well, even if I could get any guy I want, I'm sitting here with you aren't I?"

Was it just me, or did that sound like an indirect way of confessing she likes me, or something.

"Back on topic now," she said, changing the subject and the atmosphere, "you weren't really camping, were you? You and Emmett were hunting?"

"I have killed people before. But I don't anymore."

"But how?"

"Carlisle is very humane. To him, being a vampire is a curse enough in itself; he doesn't want to kill innocent lives too. He discovered that by feeding off animals, he could sustain himself. When he tried to impose on me this altered hunting lifestyle, I rebelled at first. I murdered many people, Bella. It's not a past I'm proud of, but it's my past nonetheless and I need you to understand."

"What made you stop?"

"After a while, I realized I agreed with Carlisle. I don't want to be a monster. I may not have a soul anymore, but at least I can act like I do."

When she didn't respond for a while, I turned to find her looking up at me with such emotion-filled eyes. A teardrop flowed down her cheek. Surprisingly, the tear smelled nice; it was exactly the same sweet pea scent that was always lingering underneath the hideous stench. It was such a beautifully tragic moment.

"Did I say something…?" I was horribly at a loss. I didn't exactly know how to comfort her when A, I couldn't touch her and B, I had no idea what was wrong.

She shook her head, wiped the tear, and turned to look out the window, never speaking another word about why she was crying. I guess Bella won the unofficial game then; for she solved the entire mystery of me, but I still know nothing, if not even less than nothing of her.

We continued driving, me with a dizzy head that should definitely qualify as some form of DUI and Bella staring nostalgically out the window. It wasn't until I pulled onto the road that would lead to her house did we speak again.

"So, Mr. Vampire, any clues on what I am?" she asked, with a small smile.

"Well, we have our theories still."

"Any new ones you'd like to share?"

"Nah, they're too embarrassing."

She pouted and it was downright adorable. I laughed as I stopped in front of her house. The light from inside was still on and I could see the shadow of Charlie waiting up for her.

"Thanks for driving me home. And for semi-saving me earlier."

"You sure you're okay? You're not going into shock or anything?"

"No, I'm fine. Bye, Edward. I'll see you Monday?" she asked in a hopeful voice.

"Yes. Monday."

She got out of the car and her absence brought in a rush of fresh air which cleared my mind. Yet instead of breathing in relief, I missed her already. I missed Bella and all the pain she brought upon me. (That has to be considered some type of self-harm.) I rolled down the window just as Bella turned back. She smiled and walked back up to me.

"I would prefer if I got to see you tomorrow, though," I said.

Her eyes brightened at my suggestion, but then her smile faded. "I can't. Tomorrow I'm going back to La Push to go see Jacob."

I frowned. "Jacob?"

"No, not like that. It's…uh…" She bit her bottom lip. "It's important."

"Can you tell me?"

"I don't know."

I sighed. I was going to have to trust her even if she didn't trust me. "Fine. See you Monday, then."

She smiled brightly and turned to walk to her house again.

"Even after everything I told you tonight, you still want to be friends?" I called after her, just to make sure.

"You're not that dangerous, Edward," she replied without turning back. "You're underestimating me."

The second I walked into the house from the garage, everyone was gathered around me. Six pairs of glaring ocher eyes.

"You told her, Edward," Alice accused. "How could you?"

"Guys, relax." I walked past them into the living room and they followed. "She knew all along, anyway."

"What? She knew we were vampires?" Jasper asked. "How could she possible know we're monsters, and yet choose to get close to you anyway?"

"She wasn't always so trusting, remember? The first day, she was hostile towards me. She's met vampires before, but probably nomads or others who feed off humans. It wasn't until she realized we were different vampires did she choose to speak to me again. It all makes sense now."

"Did you find out what she is?" Emmett asked excitedly. Elf, elf, elf, elf, elf…

"No, I did not."

Rosalie crossed her arms. "So you ditched us to go play buddy-buddy with Bella, tell her everything about us, but still figure out nothing about her? That was quite pointless."

"No worries, the dance is next Saturday. We'll find out in due time," Esme said. "It is safe to say that Bella can keep our secret, then?"

"If you're wondering whether she'll tattle to the world and then get us in trouble with the Volturi, then no, she will not," I said. "I don't think she can openly tell people we're vampires if she also has something to hide."

"Whatever you say, Edward," Rosalie smirked. It's just because you're in love with her.

I don't know what Rosalie is thinking, but judging by her expression, I agree with what she's thinking, Alice's mental voice chimed in.

Never doubt the power of suggestion. Because after all their teasing about Bella and I, I was finally realizing that maybe they were right.

I was in my room waiting for the night to pass while thinking over what Bella said. She had met vampires before who tainted her impression about us. They must have done some wrong to cause such an emotional reaction. But I've torn down that wall; I showed her that there were vampires out there who were compassionate. There are always two sides of everything. I'm glad I could show Bella that there was a good side to vampires as well.

What had the other vampires done, what horrible, traumatic crime could they possibly have committed to make her distrust vampires so much? Why did she believe us to be such cruel creatures? I jumped hoops and bent over backwards for her, yet she still can't trust me enough to tell me what she was going to see Jacob for? What did she need with that werewolf anyway?

It was ironic that Charlie Swan was best friends with Carlisle Cullen and Billy Black, the leaders of the vampire coven and the werewolf pack respectively. Before now, I always thought Charlie a kindhearted but oblivious little man who somehow got himself in a century old feud between two mythological species. But if he's the father of Bella, an obscure species all her own, then perhaps we haven't given him enough credit. After everything I've discovered about Bella—may she be an elf, mermaid, or witch—I've started to realize that things are never as they seem and there's always more to the picture. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if Charlie had known about us all along and was purposely trying to intervene to ameliorate the tension between the vampires and the werewolves.

Wait a minute. Charlie. If I can't read Bella's mind, then surely I can read Charlie's. He's perfectly human. He is bound to think about Bella and then he would most likely think about what creature she is, right?

I sneaked out of the house, although I'm sure everyone heard me, and sprinted in the direction of the Swan residence. It took me less than a minute. I slowed my pace as I entered her neighborhood, staying hidden in the shadows to not attract the attention of any neighbors. The house was in sight, Bella's ugly old truck comically parked in the driveway.

As I approached closer, Bella's fragrance drafted into my nose, slowly growing intensity with each step. Then I took another step which put me on their front yard and instantly, my whole body felt on fire, but times two hundred thousand. No other thoughts formed through my mind except that I was in unutterable pain and I need to get out now.

Shaking from pain far worse than anything I've ever experienced, I stumbled back until I was safe on the neighbor's property. It was amazing how such a short distance would cause so much difference. This could not be normal. Even though this is where Bella lived, there was no way the powerful aura could be concentrated just on the perimeter of her house.

She must have cast a spell on her house, I realized, to protect herself and her dad from vampires. I'd like to think that she did this a long time ago, before she really got to know me. I'd like to think that I made some improvement with Bella and she no longer hates me or wishes me to suffer in agony. I could be wrong.

My whole body was still aching in an echo from the previous shock of pain. Even my brain felt raw. I couldn't hear any thoughts coming from Charlie inside; I could barely hear the two neighbors' conversation going on just across the street. The distance and the spell created an impenetrable barrier and I dared not try and step near the house again.

With that, I stumbled my way back home.

Were you with Bella AGAIN? Rosalie asked as I walked into the house later that night. Are you watching her sleep or something?

"Of course not." It's not like I could, even if I tried. I'm never stepping anywhere near her house ever again. I messaged my throbbing arm, and trudged upstairs. "And she shall be the death of me."