Just a series of one-shots that I envisioned when I read a fanfic called 'The Squatters' that includes what happened with Zoro, Perona, and Mihawk during the two year skip. This, however, will be about the trio as they are a crazy family! Let's see where this leads!
Mihawk growled; he should be out in the world kicking asses and taking names, not getting caught up yelling at his children and their mindless hell-raising. Said twerps were already escaping the scene, their odd green and pink hair colors distinctly marking their locations in this castle.
Where he stood, a vase had been upturned on the floor with fragments of it scattered and misplaced along the cobblestone floor. 'Time to put their little minds to a test' he chuckled mischievously in his head. He sped down the hall, stopping and finding traces of his children's evacuation through another door leading into a master bath and into his bedroom.
He walked forward silently feigning not to know that there was a little black wire in front of his foot. He fake tripped it and dodged a bucket of water that smacked bottom-side down on the ground.
He stopped, questioning the ingenuity of his children "How the hell did that even work?" He asked outwardly, looking at the wire on the ground and then to the ceiling. The two popped out of the cabinets lining the roof of the restroom, duct tape in their hands streaming from behind them.
The two ran in a circle wrapping up their father to his biceps, and almost tripped on each-other. Mihawk struggled around in his restraints in a fake fashion that the two children mistook as the real thing.
"Alright, our demands are simple! Follow them and we don't destroy your precious pottery!" Zoro exclaimed, his wooden sword had been drawn and angled at Mihawk's neck to which he returned with a worried frown that they, also, mistook as the real thing.
"Number one, I want your sword."
The most ridiculous thing the swordsman ever saw himself doing is handing his precious sword to anybody let alone taking it off his back. He literally slept with it on!
"Number two, you have to train me more!"
That was pretty stupid seeing that he could easily destroy this entire island with one hand when he escaped-no, wanted to. (and his sword of course!)
"Number three… Give Perona.. A cute outfit… Hey, I didn't put that one on there!"
"I did, remember when you said I could put one on."
"I said no such thing!"
The two failed to realize that Mihawk had broken free of his restraints and had his hands slipped behind their backs. Before they could do anything, they were hoisted into the air by their shirts, and carted off to Mihawk's bedroom.
"Fools! You left your guard down!" They squirmed, shouting insults at him and flailing their little arms at his face from their position.
"Frustration won't do you a justice in an actual fight… But a shower sure could, young man." Zoro's eyes widened, the two had been thrown onto the master bed,
"No, anything but that! Perona, help me!" His gaze followed the pink-headed girl to where she giggled against the other side of the room and escaped out the door.
Mihawk chuckled, "Be thankful your sister made it out, but unlike you, she doesn't need a bath." Zoro stopped squirming from his father's grip, and accepted his defeat. "I'll get you one of these days, dad!"
"I'm sure you won't, now get in the shower!" Mihawk smiled, a rare occurrence, and sought out the broom and dustpan.
"I oughta have a maid around this damn place.. I'm a shichibukai for God's sake.." He grumbled, leaving his room.