"A… relationship counselor?" Draco said in disbelief.

"Yup!" Stacey giggled. "A little birdy told me that you two were having a rocky relationship, so Tim here," she giggled again. "Took me to go see you two! And what are you? Lovers? Married? Engaged?"

"NO!" Draco roared. "HERMIONE ARE NOTHING MORE THAN ROOMMATES!"

"Ooh, not even friends, are you? I do love a challenge."

"No, Stacey, Draco and I are really just roommates." Hermione interrupted.

"Hm… are we in denial? I think we are~"

Draco very nearly banged his head on the table. "I'm surrounded by idiots."

At this, Hermione hit him on the back of his head. "Excuse me, but if you're in the room with the brightest witch of your age, you may want to watch what you say."

"Yeah, sure, you bloody woman."

Stacey was eagerly taking notes. "Hm… 'Bloody' is in use, it seems frequently, they banter… 'Hermione' seems caring, friendly… odd…" she murmured.

"What're you on about?" Draco asked, peering over her shoulder.

Stacey just smiled.

Time skip of Ginny smirking~

Harry and Ginny came over before Stacey and Tim left.

"Hello," Ginny said warmly. "I'm Ginny, and this is-"

"I know," Stacey and Tim chorused.

Ginny grinned. "Now, for our present for you two, since you were kind enough to bake for us," she took out a package and handed it to Hermione.

"What is it?" Hermione asked.

"Open it," Ginny smiled.

And then there were penguins.

"WHAT IS THIS?" Hermione roared.

"HARRY! I TOLD YOU NOT TO GET THE PENGUINS!" Ginny shrieked.

"Sorry," Harry sheepishly said.

"It's…fine?" Hermione asked.

Penguins were currently over running the kitchen. Most of them were gravitating toward the fridge, but there were just penguins.

Stacey and Time were in shock.

"Now then, how about pie?"

Time skip because I'm lazy

Hermione served six slices of pie. One for everyone.

Tim took a big bite. "Wow, Hermione, this is really-"He stopped talking.

"Tim? TIM?" Stacey shook him by the shoulders. "What kind of pie is this?"

"Blueberry." Draco answered for her.

"Tim's allergic to blueberries!"

Cue panic.

"Relax, guys, I'm a Healer." Ginny interrupted the mounting panic.

No one listened, as penguins were now beginning to peck the unconscious body of Tim.

"GUYS!" This time, everyone stopped. "I'M A HEALER, I CAN FIX THIS!" Ginny dropped to her knees and started doing magic.

"How did this even happen?" Hermione buried her head into Draco's shoulder.

"What. The. Fuck?" Was all Draco said.

And then Ron burst in.

"GINNY! ARE YOU ALRIGHT? I SAW TIM COLLASP, WHY DID THE FERRET ATTACK HIM? WHAT HAPPENED? I'M A TRAINED AUROR AND-"

"RON!" Hermione roared. "Why- are you stalking your little sister? She doesn't need to be protected, she has me, Harry, and herself to protect herself with!"

Ron gulped. "Er… hello, Hermione."

"HELLO? THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?" Hermione shrieked.

"Hermione! Stop Hermione, don't hurt him," Harry said, trying to soothe her. "Just calm down, alright?"

"Don't tell me to calm down, Harry. I can't calm down! This is the last strike Ron, I want you out of my apartment!" She screamed.

"Okay." Ron turned and left.

"Finally," Hermione breathed. "Ginny, how's Tim?"

"He'll be fine." Taking a step away, Ginny wiped her brow free of sweat.

.

.

.

"Now what?"

A/N: Okay, okay, I know I said I would say that Draco would learn how to use a cellphone in this chapter, but then I remembered that Hermione had said she needed a new IPhone. So next chapter, WE'RE GOING TO THE APPLE STORE! Oh that'll be fun. R&R if you liked! See you next week!

~Stardust