Ivan (Monday, April 10)
I didn't dance. Not anymore. But I loved to watch my friends dance. They all danced with passion and care ― things I didn't have so much anymore. I had danced a lot when I was younger, as my father wanted me to. I loved ballroom but it always felt like something was missing, no matter how good I got. In junior high school, I got better as I was accepted onto the high school's junior varsity team. Again, I loved the dances but something was always gone. It all felt too routine. But my older sister, Katyusha, had left our house before I'd gotten into junior high and my father was angrier. I saw it more or less as a way to escape my broken home after that. My first year in high school, my sister got her own place and fought tooth and nail for my little sister, Natalia, and I to come live with her. When she won, I gave up ballroom and gave up any escape I'd thought I'd needed.
While I still had some of my old, childish, self in me, the hardest part of each day was looking in the mirror. To see my weary expression and to try and bring that normal smile back that never looked normal anymore. Katyusha was on medication to keep herself from caving in. Sometimes I wished I could do the same. But we didn't have the money so I learned to just step away from myself more often than not. It was easier than trying to deal with the chaos in my heads that came from being abused so often by our father.
But then, one day at school, I met Matthew Bonnefoy. He looked up at me with bright blue eyes and I felt myself slam back into my head, into the craziness of myself. For one wild moment, I was lost. And then his eyes brought me back. Everything was a sharp focus, chaos raging around this one safe bubble. I smiled at him and it didn't seem so forced. All weekend, I thought about him. It had been one meeting and I wondered if this wasn't just some silly crush.
Today, Feliks and Taurys were dancing on stage. Matthew was sitting close to the stage with his brother, Alfred, watching their feet. For the first time since I'd started ballroom, I longed to be on the stage one more time.
~XxX~
Arthur (Monday, April 10)
The hardest part of working again was that all the kids knew who I was, knew my story. With the rumor that my boys were home, the kids in all of my classes were restless for the first few days - more so when they found out they were in the same school. Focus was already hard to come by so I disliked rumors because they diminished all focus. I sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time that day and leaned against my desk, staring at a group who was babbling. It didn't help that we were close to summer, either. It meant the kids' attention was anywhere but on my lesson. I liked my subject so I tried to convey that to the kids. But my patience was wearing thin. "You can do the worksheet or do book work," I announced finally, standing straight again. Eyes looked back at me and then down at their papers.
I wandered around for another five minutes, making sure that's what they were really doing, before sitting at my desk. Papers had started to pile up because I hadn't picked any up while I had taken my week off. I sorted them and shuffled through them, quickly correcting some of the older stuff. I was going to miss midterms if I wasn't careful. I seemed that I would be taking work home and staying up much later than I wished to. But there were students who I could tell needed an accurate grade or they'd be failing by the end of the term so it was time to set aside most of my time to get this done by Wednesday. Pausing, I looked up at the board where I'd written an assignment and got up. I really didn't take kindly to the idea that most of my weekend would be wasted by correcting assignments for after midterm.
"I'm changing the date of this assignment to Tuesday," I announced, getting up and walking to the board. I erased it and rewrote the date as kids sighed in relief or let out small thank-you's. I rolled my eyes and said, "You're welcome but that means you have more time and so I expect it to get done." Eager to not have the date changed back, everyone agreed. So I turned and went back to my desk to work on all the papers that needed correcting, needed to be put into the computer.
X x X
"I have to stay late this week but Francis said he might be able to get off early every day so you can always ask him for a ride," I told Alfred and Matthew, both of whom had slipped in during their lunch for a quick visit before I had to get back to my class. "Or I know some kids in the neighborhood you can search out and they can show you the bus."
Matthew looked at Alfred who thought about it for a minute. "Well, we might as well ride the bus. I don't want to bug him. Hey, did they get our transcripts here or are we going to have to start over? I was a little unclear..."
"Oh, they got your transcripts. But you missed a week or two of school so your grades won't be as high this term. You'll have to get that back next term, if possible," I replied simply. I tried to convey that their grades were important ― as I was a teacher ― but at the same time, I didn't want to push it and think they had an obligation because of that. Unfortunately, I could tell that Alfred had already taken it wrong.
"We'll work hard to make up for it," Matthew was quick to say. "Can you tell us who we're looking for? Would Lovino and Feliciano be able to tell us where to go?"
I nodded, glancing at my classroom as it started to fill. "I was thinking also that Gilbert might be able to show you and certainly Antonio would be willing. But Feliciano would probably be your best bet if you can find him, yes." I smiled at them and Alfred grinned, thanking me. "I'll see you guys when I get home then?"
"Yeah," Alfred agreed happily, his earlier irritation I'd sensed seeming to be gone. "See ya!"
Quieter, Matthew added, "Have a good rest of the day." And then they both left my classroom to enjoy the rest of their lunch. I sat back in my chair and stared at the paperwork, wishing more than anything that it would all disappear. I was glad I'd decided against becoming an English teacher ― all that paperwork would be more than I could handle. Sighing, I went back to correcting a few more papers and inserting the scores into the computer before the bell rang and I had to get up for my lecture.
~XxX~
Alfred (Thursday, April 13)
I leaned back in my seat, resting my feet on the seats in front of me. It was another lunch period being wasted away watching the ballroom team dance. I found it becoming a sort of ritual already. My friends and I played a sort of version of musical chairs each day when we got in here so I was almost always sitting next to someone else. Today, I was sitting by Gilbert. Gilbert the awesome Beilschmidt, he'd told me. I didn't find him very annoying like some of my other friends obviously did but his arrogance was different from my own. I'd decided when I was much younger that I was a hero and I'd constantly name things that went with being a hero ― benefits and sacrifices, no matter how petty they were. He didn't do that. He pretty much declared that the world loved him and if you tried to say otherwise, his eyes screamed of a dangerous anger.
So I sat casually next to him, too eager to continue to make friends to get up and move. I kept stealing quick glances next to me. Gilbert was reclined back in his chair, hands behind his head and ankles crossed on the chair in front of him. He looked so casual but oh so cocky. "So, where did you come out of hiding from?" Gilbert asked, eyes locked on the stage ― or so I thought because that's what it seemed every time I glanced at him.
"I was hiding out in Alabama," I joked back, grinning. "It was a pretty place. There were more trees than out here." I paused, watching the dancers on stage spin and come back together. "There's nothing to look at out here."
Gilbert over-exaggerated his flinch. "Not even the awesome me is good enough to stare at?" I turned my head toward him, made a show of looking him over. He stretched a little, obviously showing off.
"Well, maybe if I stared long enough, I might find something to stare at. But my mama always told me it was rude to stare." Smirking, I looked back at the stage. He uncrossed his ankles and kicked my legs of the seat in front of me. "Hey!" He laughed. It was an odd sound, not one that I didn't entirely dislike. I tried to frown but I couldn't quite make myself. "So, I'm stuck at school unless someone can show me where the bus is." Matthew and I had tried to find Lovino or Feliciano on Monday but we hadn't succeeded. Francis had come home early every other day so we hadn't had to worry about the bus. He couldn't get out before five today though.
"Really? Thought it's high time to start acting like a civilian?" he teased but that kind of bugged me. I knew he wasn't teasing me about ballroom, instead about the attention I'd been receiving by people because of Matthew's and my reappearance in town. While I liked people staring, I liked it because I did something ― not because of my story. "Well, the awesome me can surely show the less awesome you our bus."
I huffed and then grinned. "A pity I don't land on your level." I put my feet back up, making sure one was rather close to his.
Gilbert glanced at our feet, keeping his grin plastered to his face. "People often envy me."
"And why shouldn't they?" I inquired, knowing I was trying a little too hard at flirting. But to be fair, he'd started it. The bell rung and I stood, kicking his feet of the seat. "You're something to look at in this wasteland." Swinging my backpack over my shoulder, I headed to the end of the row. "Matt and I will be out front after the final bell." He stared at me, for once looking rather deflated with his crimson eyes wide.
But he quickly recovered, grinning arrogantly again. "Awesome." I left the auditorium after that, feeling foggy. I had a new friend but maybe I'd pushed things wrong today. I didn't want a boyfriend because it meant I'd be tied down. I didn't want to be attached to this town ― or to anywhere. I'd thought about it a bit in Alabama where the trees were too confining and the neighbors were too private. Here, things were loud and too widespread and everyone was in each other's business. I wondered if there was any balance anywhere I went. Somehow, my freedom felt a little too suppressed in places like this. I wanted to leave and go far away, but never stop in one place for too long.
X x X
The bus was crowded with kids ― and incredibly loud. I decided I needed to make a point of asking Arthur if Matthew and I could go back to using my car. I missed it. With all the seats filling up, I was stuck next to Gilbert and Matthew was a few rows back, sitting with Ivan. I didn't like Ivan too much, something about him bothered me, so I kept glancing behind me to make sure my brother was all right. It seemed like the last three minutes before we left took forever. "Claustrophobic?"
I shrugged. "I miss my pretty car. It's sitting at home, being neglected."
"You own a car?" Gilbert asked, both surprise and jealousy present in his voice. "What's the name?"
I smiled a little in satisfaction. "I was a bit spoiled. It's a Mitsubishi 2010 Lancer. It's my baby."
He laughed. "Ah, no way. If I could get my hands on a car, I'd go for an awesome 2012 Ford Fusion. That's the kind of car you should have begged for."
I scoffed. "Nothing more American than a Ford?"
"And what would that make Mitsubishi?" Gilbert inquired instantly and I frowned. I wasn't used to conversations like this ― where things were so smooth and I didn't have to try so hard. "I guess it is kind of stereotypical. But I was born in Prussia and raised with German so at least I'm not on my knees asking for a Volkswagen." I laughed at that. "So will I get a ride then?"
Unfortunately, my hormones kicked up and I blushed at his wording. "We'll have to see if my mom will let me start driving to and from school again. It would mean more time to sleep in and some time to just chill after school."
He nodded as the bus headed out. "So is it good to be back or do you just not care?" His expression was still light and he didn't look like he cared what the answer was. But my problem was, I could see past it. Maybe my brother's skills of reading people had finally worn off on me but it looked like he really did care what I had to say. It made my insides squirm and a slight heat to rise to my face. Plenty of people had asked me similar questions since I'd arrived but I hadn't felt they'd truly cared what my answer was ― they seemed to expect something generic.
I looked out the windshield. "I care but I don't remember being here so I can't say it's good to be back either. It's sort of like... Waking up one day and realizing everything you thought wasn't right. Now I have to start over. It's kind of hard but it's been fun so I'm not too put out yet." That was a half-truth. It was fun when I didn't think too hard and just focused on school and making friends. Being home was a challenge. Francis and Arthur were good people but I felt out of place. Before Matthew and I had gotten back, I had felt I had a place. Except, that rug had been yanked from under me and I didn't have much of anything but what I was learning left. A generic answer to that that I kept getting was to "hold on to what you learned before". Tossed into confusion, it was much easier said than done.
"I think it sounds like a pain," Gilbert surprised me by saying. "Being raised one way and then figuring out that you were basically wrong." He ran a hand through his hair and then grinned. "But to less depressing topics, what's your favorite sport?" We chatted like that until my stop ― one before his. "Auf Wiedersehen," he muttered as I stood.
I grinned at him. "See ya!" I wasn't sure but as I walked off the bus, I was starting to think that I had something to look forward to each day now - instead of looking at is "what's going to happen next?"
Author's Note: Gilbert only spoke one German word. o.O I will fix that in other chapters...
Auf Wiedersehen ― Goodbye
Hopefully things will get easier to write from here on out and I haven't disappointed anyone with this...short...chapter. Thanks to those who have viewed this, read it, reviewed it, put it on their favorites or alerts lists... It means a lot! :D
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