Willow stays with Illyria for a long time. Eventually, it's time for her to catch her flight. All the way back to London, Willow tries to figure out how she's going to find Spike in London and what she's going to do if she does.
When she lands, Willow is met by representatives of the Watcher's council, who insist on taking her straight back to the compound. She wonders what the rush is all about. She's led to Giles' personal quarters, a suite of rooms set aside for him.
Giles sits at the desk. "You aren't supposed to be working, Giles. You're supposed to be taking it easy." Willow moves to him, but Giles looks up at her with a strange look on his face. Willow can't quite make sense of it.
"We received word you planned to fly back. Any reason?" Willow shrugs.
"Buffy didn't need me in LA anymore, and there's been some power moving in the area. I figured I should be here to check it out. Marina wanted me to see what I could find." It wasn't entirely a lie; Marina had been worried about the power moving in the area of London. Willow is pretty certain she had a decent idea who is behind it. But she isn't ready to tell Giles that.
"Buffy remained in LA, correct?" Willow nods. "Good." He stands up. "We have to talk. Walk with me." Willow holds out her arm to help support him. Giles accepts it and leads the way to the infirmary.
Willow knew the infirmary well. She had been studying healing magic as of late, so she spent a lot of time there before going to LA. Even so, she was not ready to find a blonde man lying in one of the beds, dead asleep.
"Spike? Spike's here?" She turns to Giles. "When? Where did you find him?" Her voice causes Spike to stir. Giles clears his throat.
"I will explain everything, in private." Giles turns and leaves the room, but Willow hesitates. Spike looks so helpless. He looks worse than he did during her astral projection episode. Spike's eyes open, but it's quickly clear he isn't actually lucid.
"Buffy." He mumbles her name, reaching out. Willow's heart breaks for him.
"Spike. It's me. Willow. Buffy isn't here. But...I'll tell her. She needs to know." When she speaks, something changes in his face.
"Wi...Willow?" Spike's eyes widen and he tries to sit up, but he doesn't have the strength. Willow moves to help him. "It's okay. You're all right." She can feel his pulse, unsteady, as she helps him sit up. "When did you get here?"
"Not long. I just flew in from LA." Willow sat down in the chair by his bed. "Buffy has no idea. I was asked not to tell her."
"By the old git? Bloody Watcher just can't keep poking his nose into her business can he?" Spike grimaces.
"No. No, it wasn't Giles. Though I suspect he may tell me not to tell her. No, it was Makoto." Willow watches as the knowledge sinks in.
"How do you know Makoto?" He asks, very softly. He says her name with a certain amount of reverence. Not romantically, but still reverent.
Willow spends the next several minutes telling him about everything that had happened over the last few days. "So I can't exactly control it. But it seems to come in handy. I can only do it when I'm under stress. And it seems to only show me what I need to do." She explains about the astral projection.
"Makoto is right." Spike says, slumping back against the pillows. "Buffy can't know. She needs to continue thinking I'm dead." Willow shakes her head.
"No, Spike. You don't under-" He interrupts her.
"I do. But I don't...I don't deserve her. And until I do...she can't know. I have to become the man she deserves. And if I can't..." He shrugs. "I'll die trying."
"What are you going to do when she comes home?"
"Giles already said he'd take care of it. I'll figure it out. Promise me you won't tell her?" Willow bites her lip, studying his expression.
"Okay, Spike. But I seriously do not think this is a good idea. She'd want to know. She...she loves you." Spike is already having issues keeping his eyes open though, so she isn't sure he heard the last part. Willow stands up and leaves him alone.

-
I wander around the empty, ruined streets of LA for a while. I know Willow is on her way back to London by now, but all I can think about is how much I wish I was with Spike. Wherever he is. I am certain he is on Earth. It's just a matter of finding him. I'm heading back to the hotel when I am attacked.
A group of demons surrounds me. I'm alone and unarmed. I don't have even the Scythe. "The Slayer." One of the demons hisses my name.
"We can kill her, yes? Master won't care?" Another demon, a slender creature with white skin, moves closer to me.
"Step back, Bedwyr. The Slayer is not to be harmed. We are taking her as our prisoner." I narrow my eyes at the one who spoke.
"Like Hell you will! I'm not going down without a fight. I don't care who you are." The demon rolls its eyes at me.
"We can do this the easy way. Our Master can be very lenient with you. But I promise you. If we have to take you to him by force, it won't be pretty."
"Yeah, you're right. It won't be pretty for you." I move into a fighting stance. The demons close in around me. Within moments, I'm overpowered. It's painfully clear just what a mistake I have made. The demon named Bedwyr strikes me, and everything goes black.

-
Spike wakes up several hours later. The visit from Willow seems like a dream, but something tells him it wasn't. He sits up. His limbs feel heavy, but his mind seems clearer than it has been in several days.
Buffy comes to mind, as so often happens. He knows, with an utter clarity, that he doesn't deserve her. His grand gesture was ruined. He had saved the world, but only temporarily. And he hadn't truly sacrificed himself the way he had intended. Instead, he had spent the last year avoiding her, never telling her that he was back.
He closes his eyes. A moment later, a soft voice makes him open them again, however. "Spike?" Dawn's voice is shaky. He looks at her, and tears stream down her cheeks.
"Hey, Bit. How'd you get in here?" She shrugs.
"It wasn't that hard. They were all distracted. But I just had to see for myself." Spike smiles weakly at her. She smiles back. "So Will said that Buffy can't know you're back." Dawn studies Spike's face. He imagines a sense of accusation in her look and looks down at his hands before shrugging. "Well, I'm all for that." He looks up at her, shocked.
"I figured you'd be the one person here against it, Bit." He says softly.
"Oh, don't get me wrong. Knowing you're back would be great for Buffy. But knowing you've been back a year and hadn't told her? You'd pretty much be dead before you can explain, Spike." Spike winces.
"You really think she'd care?" Dawn nods.
"All this time, and you still haven't figured it out, have you? You are pretty blind." Spike glares at her. "She is in love with you. She's been in love with you for a while. We all saw it. But she wasn't ready to admit it. And then you did...what you did after Tara's death. I wanted to hate you for her. Since she couldn't do it. She couldn't hate you. She tried. So I did it for her. And boy, did I hate you. That last year, after you came back? I wanted to stake you in your sleep. I wasn't joking. But then I realized you had changed. Because of the soul." Dawn shakes her head.
"What about the Immortal?" Spike asks, hating the jealousy in his own voice. "What about Rome?" Dawn grins.
"Nothing happened in Rome." Spike rolls his eyes. "No, really. The whole 'Buffy is in Rome' thing? It was a cover-up. We were never in Rome. Buffy wasn't dating the Immortal."
Spike studies her expression. He realizes she isn't just saying this to spare his feelings. She actually means it. He looks at her, shocked. "I...I don't know. Maybe I should tell her. But until I'm better, I don't think she should know." He closes his eyes, remembering what it was like when his mother first became sick. Taking care of her, watching her slowly succumb to the illness. He couldn't do that to Buffy.
"I won't tell her, Spike. It's up to you to do it. But she will love you no matter what. And she'd want to be by your side no matter what." Dawn stands to leave. "Give her the chance to show you that she cares." She leaves him alone with his thoughts.