Dave slumped down next to Vriska at their table in algebra, ignoring the wheel-chair-clad actor and his druggie friend's chatter. Vriska raised an eyebrow at him and asking, "A certain Strider seems very angry. What's your problem?"

"Your new bro," Dave said. "Don't know who that kid thinks he is, but I don't like him moving in on my friends, especially not Sollux."

"Why? Afraid you'll lose your bestie to my looooooooser brother?" Vriska teased. "Please, I think anyone besides Feferi and his own brother like him. Well, then and Darren."

"Your stepdad?"

"I like to think of him as the Step-Loser, but whatever. That entire family is full of freaks," she scoffed. "You've got the weirdo father, the greaser and the little wizard-obsessed hipster."

"Wait, so he likes magic?"

She nodded. "He says it's for science, but I'm pretty sure he's doing some weird rituals when he thinks we're all sleeping. That or he speaks German in his sleep."

"Wow, that's creepy. Wait until that gets around school."

"Don't even try," Vriska said. "I do not want to be the one to face Aranea and Cronus's wrath."

"Aranea? Seriously?"

"She thinks Eridan's interest in magic is just a hobby of his and that I shouldn't spread anything about it, but I know he's doing some sort of weird voodoo magic in that stupid purple room of his. Of course, I don't want to face the wrath of Aranea, so don't start shit for him and for me. Now's not the time. We'll ruin his life later, when I find something even juicier on that little runt."

"How do you know there's more to dig up?"

"Trust me, there's something. I hear him talking to himself sometimes. I think he has an audio-diary. If I got my hands on it, then maybe we could leak it all over the school."

"Aranea would still know it was you," Dave said.

"Not necessarily," the youngest Serket said. "If I throw a pool party this weekend, then I can say someone must have found it at the party."

"I like the way you think, Vriska," Dave said, leaning back in his chair. "I'll spread the news about the party."

"And I'll text the family," Vriska said, pulling out her phone and shooting a quick text to her mother, who of course agreed to the get-together. Smirking to each other, Dave and Vriska sat through their algebra class and parted, Dave heading to English and Vriska to science. Dave sat down next to John, who gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"So, Vriska is throwing a party? That sounds fun," said John, excited already.

"The aftermath will be even better, John," said Dave, leaning back and wrapping his arm around John's shoulders. "Vriska is going to see if that Eridan kid has an audio journal, because he talks to himself in his room a lot. And if he does, we're going to leak it out over the school."

"Dave, that's mean," John said. "Eridan's pretty nice. Sure, he's a little weird with his history war knowledge, and he may be a total hipster, but maybe that's normal in Britain."

"You know what's normal in Britain? Doctor Who. Not wizards and that stupid scarf he had on today," Dave groaned. "Listen, are you in or not?"

"I'm in," John said. "I don't like it, but I'm in."

"Love you," Dave said.

"Love you, too," John said. The two left after class and headed over to Dave's house, where they were greeted with Dirk Strider, Dave's brother, underneath Jake English as they made out on the couch. John made a little sound of disgust, and Dave cleared his throat, making Dirk and Jake jump back from each other.

"Hey, Bro, if you are your girlfriend want to make out, at least do it in your bedroom so I can watch television in peace," Dave said with a smirk.

Jake puffed up his cheeks. "I am not a lady, Dave."

"Sure, Aussie, sure. Bro, just get off my couch," Dave said.

"Hey, I'm the guardian here, I give the orders," Dirk said, getting up. "You two hungry?"

"Yeah, Bro," Dave said. John nodded. Jake and Dirk headed into the kitchen, and John turned on the television, snuggled up to Dave under a blanket.

"So, you really want to sabotage that Ampora kid, huh?"

Dave nodded.

"Why?" John asked. "He's my partner in science class. He's not that bad, you know."

"Explain, Eg-Derp," Dave said.

John shrugged. "Well, I mean, he seemed pretty nice to me. He asked a lot about you. He said that you were an alright guy. Other than that, he doesn't do much! He does tend to draw on his notes, though."

"What, are you paying attention to this kid?" Dave asked. "If you ask me, he's as weird as a love-child between Marilyn Manson and Lady Gaga."

John squirmed. "Ew, Dave! I didn't need that image in my head!"

"Let me make it up to you?" Dave asked with a devious smirk, removing his sunglasses. Dave felt a blush creep up his cheeks as Dave's eyes gazed into his, pupils dilated. Leaning back, John let Dave crawl on top of him on the couch. Dave smirked, caressing John's cheekbone with his thumb as he leaned down to press a gentle kiss to his boyfriend's lips.

"Dirk, your brother's snogging on the couch!"

"Dave! God damn it!"

Dave pulled away. "God damn you, Jake. Bro, get a less irritating boyfriend!"

"Stop making out on my couch! You just yelled at me about it! Go up to your room."

"No," Dave said. John tugged on the sleeve of Dave's red tee, but Dave shook his head, ignoring his blushing boyfriend's pleas to go to his room.

"Dave Elizabeth Strider!"

Dave heard Jake's laugh, and John snickered. With a groan, Dave got up, grabbed his shades off the table, and hurried to his room, dragging a particularly giggly John Egbert up to his room. Plopping down onto his bed with a groan, Dave let out a scream into his pillow. After settling down from case of chuckles he seemed to have caught, John sat down next to Dave and rubbed circles into his back, soothing the embarrassed and flustered teen.

Dave groaned. "Did he really have to pull the middle name card? Bro never does that. It's less natural than the fact that math follows us everywhere like the creeper it is."

"I know," John said, continuing to rub his back. "Dirk's normally a lot chiller, but remember that Jake is here. Obviously, Dirk wants to impress him. How long have they been together officially, now?"

"Like, two months," Dave said, rolling onto his back.

"See? They're not even a full couple yet," John said, leaning down. "Not like you and me." John gave a little smirk, something rare for an Egbert to do, but Dave certainly wasn't complaining. Leaning down, John gave Dave another kiss. Reaching his hands up, Dave tangled his fingers in John's black locks, pulling John closer. John complied with a smile, crawling on top of Dave and licking gently at Dave's lower lip.

"Boys, dinner is ready!" Jake yelled. John pulled away reluctantly, and Dave slipped on his shades. Dave growled, "I don't like Jake."

"You know, I find that you don't enjoy many people," John said. "Or at least, no one outside our circle."

"That's a lie," Dave said. "I liked Sollux."

"He's a part of the group now," John reminded him.

Dave sat up, pushing John off him gently. "Yeah, but he wasn't originally! I like our set group of friends. Is that so bad?"

"Our original set had Feferi in it," John reminded him. "You didn't seem to mind so much when Sollux dumped her and started dating Aradia."

Dave sighed. "Stop making more sense than I do."

"Because you make a lot of sense," John said, giggling as he leaned over to kiss Dave's cheek. Dave smiled a bit, getting up and grabbing John's hand as the two headed down to go talk to the Australian-British-Cluster-Fuck-Whatever and Bro. Sitting down at the table, the two enjoyed dinner in silence while Jake told tales of him living in that country that's also a continent, and most of the stories seemed to be completely fake. Dirk seemed intrigued, however, and every once and a while, Jake and John would throw jests at each other. Dave was silent like he normally was, except that night, under the table, he was texted a certain Serket about their devious plans.