Hey everyone.

I hoped you liked my first chapter and that it interested you.

Here is the next chapter.

Enjoy!

Lily's POV

There is something seriously wrong with Barney, he hasn't said anything since we left his apartment, and he isn't wearing a suit, Barney always wears a suit, the only time he doesn't wear a suit is if he's going to a funeral, I swear I am going to find out what's wrong with him.

"Are you ok Barney?" I ask, putting my hand on his arm, as soon as my hand touches his arm he flinches.

"'m fine" he mumbles, looking out the window and clenching his fists.

"You just seem different, you haven't said anything since we left your apartment" I say, not touching him this time, but just observing his reaction.

He looks down and he furrows his brow, scratching his hand, before replying.

"I said I'm fine Lily, I just dont feel like talking" he says, avoiding eye contact and still scratching the now red skin on his hand.

We get out of the taxi and walk into MacLaren's, still in complete silence.

Sitting in our regular seats are Marshall, Ted and Robin, the must have heard the door open because they look at us and when they take notice of what Barney is wearing they look shocked and confused.

I sit next to Robin, and Barney sits on the stool at the end of the table.

Me, Marshall, Robin and Ted start to have one of our mind conversations.

'Why isn't Barney wearing a suit, he always wears a suit?' Robin asks, I can tell the question is aimed at me because I came here with him.

'I dont know, I asked and he snapped, guys I think something is seriously wrong with Barney, he hardly talked the whole way hear and he kept scratching his hand until it went red' I say, tilting my head towards Barney who is still scratching a little at the red bit of skin on his hand.

'Wait, Barney usually doesn't wear suits when he's at a funeral, maybe he knows someone that died' Ted suggests, also looking worried about our friend.

'I dont think that's it, I'm sure he would have told us by now if someone he know has died' Marshall says, and we all look at Barney, we haven't said anything aloud since me and him sat down, but he hasn't looked up and he looks deep in thought.

'I'm really worried about him, he's been off since last night' I say, that was the last time I saw him, he left the same time I did, he didn't take a taxi, he said he needed some air.

'I think something happened to Barney yesterday when he walked home, he seemed perfectly fine before he went home' I tell them, I look to where Barney is sitting, or was sitting, where is he?

''hey, where did Barney go?'' Robin asks, looking around after, like me, noticing that Barney has left.

"He probably went to the toilets" Ted says.

"Could you two go check on him?" I ask, I know it sounds stupid, but there is something up with him and I can't shake the feeling that I'm missing something.

"Sure, we'll be back in a sec" Marshall says, him and Ted standing up and walking towards the bathroom.

Barney's POV (when they started having their mind conversation)

I'm surprised no one's said anything to me, considering the fact that I'm not wearing a suit like I usually would, I thought they would be all over that, and I thought Robin and Ted would be screaming at me for not going to the dinner with Robin like I promised her I would and not finding a date for Ted.

I find myself absent-mindedly scratching at my hand again, while I try not to get too nervous about the fact that they are all just staring at each other and not saying anything, just occasionally making a facial expression.

I try to shake the idea that they are talking about me with their minds, I have no idea when we started doing that or how we do that, it's actually really freaky, but there's a nagging voice in my head saying 'they're talking about you, about how weak and pathetic you are', 'maybe they've already found out what happened to you but they just dont care', 'if they find out what happened to you they'll either not believe you or they'll hate you, you let that man do that to you'.

This goes on a bit longer, them staring at each other and the voices in my head screaming at me, before I decide that I need a release, I figure they won't miss me, so I walk away and into the toilets, I'm glad that I decided to keep my razor in my hoodie pocket.

I walk into the stall furthest away from the door.

Once I'm in the stall I completely breakdown and it takes everything I have not cry out, I cry silently, shaking and breathing heavily, while reach into my pocket and pulling out the cold silver blade that I now rely on.

I only have 4 bleeding cuts before I hear someone opening the door, I freeze and stay deathly quiet.

I hear someone call my name, Ted?

What is he doing here, I look under the stall and see two sets of feet, I'm guessing he's with Marshall.

I stuff the razor back in my pocket quickly.

I wipe my eyes and hope that it doesn't look like I have been crying.

I slowly get up and unlock the stall door.

"Hey guys" I say, trying my best to fake a smile, it doesn't look like they're buying it.

"What's wrong Barney?" Marshall asks, and I can already tell him anything he'll just go into lawyer mode and ask a bunch of questions I couldn't care less about right now, so I lie.

"Nothing's wrong, I'm awesome" I say half heartedly.

"Hey, what's happened to your hand?" Ted asks, I look at my hand and I mentally curse myself for not being more careful.

When I put the razor back in my pocket it cut the palm of my hand.

"Oh, it's nothing, just caught my hand on something" I tell them.

"It doesn't look like nothing, and it looks recent, it's still bleeding" Marshall says, grabbing my wrist to get a better look at my hand, making me wince in pain.

"What's wrong with your wrist?" Marshall asks, noticing the look of pain on my face when he grabbed my wrist, part of the reason is because of my cuts and part of the reason is the bruises left there from last night, the memory makes me want to throw up.

"just sprained it a couple of days ago, interesting story actually" I tell them, and then I tell them some lie about how I sprained my wrist while having sex with some hot chick from Russia, I can't tell if they believe it or not.

"I dont think it needs stitches, but if it's not cleaned soon it could get infected" Marshall says, he takes me over to the tap and starts to clean my cut.

Both Ted and Marshall look surprised when I dont show any signs of pain when Marshall starts to wash the cut on my hand, it's not that I dont feel it, it's just that the pain feels good and I know I deserve it.

Something that surprises me is that Ted keeps bandages in his jean pocket, he passes some to Marshall and he wraps it gently around my hand.

"Are you sure you're alright Barney, we're worried about you" Ted says, with a sympathetic look on his face.

'They're not worried about you, they pity you, they hate you and you know it', 'they think you're a freak, you know they never actually cared about you right?'

"Dont be, I am completely fine, I just didn't get much sleep last night, that's all" I lie, hoping they'll just let it go, I never should have left the apartment.

"You know you can always talk to us if something's bothering you right?" Ted asks, I just nod in reply, even though I dont believe a single word he just said.

"Good" Marshall says smiling, obviously my lying is getting better.

All three of us walk out the door and back to our booth.

Robin and Lily are looking at me with concerned faces, I guess Lily told Ted and Marshall to check on me.

Robin notices the bandage on my hand, along with Lily, and speaks up.

"Hey Barney, what happened to your hand?" she asks, looking me in the eye, as if searching for truth.

"Caught it on something, no big deal" I say, moving my hand from on top of the table to under it and on my lap, away from their prying eyes.

"do you guys wanna head up to my place, it's getting a little crowded in here" Ted says, I agree with him, this place is packed and its making me feel really anxious.

We all say yes and we head up to Ted's apartment.

I dont really feel like going back to my apartment and facing the loneliness and the smell of blood yet.

We decide to watch a movie, luckily its Ted's time to choose and we're watching star wars.

I fall asleep through half of the movie and I wish I hadn't because all I can see is the man that attacked me, I can't bring myself to actually say what he did to me, not even in my head.

I keep replaying what happened in my head, I keep asking myself 'why didn't I stop him?'

'Why did I let him do that'.

Suddenly I'm stuck in that alley way again, vulnerable, defenceless, afraid, with no one to help me.

I'm falling, deeper and deeper, into a depression I know I won't be able to get back out of.

He's touching me again and I'm trying to scream, but all that comes out is a quiet whimper, I can't do anything but cry and pray for this hell to be over soon.

I hear him shouting my name, how does he know my name?

"Barney, Barney, Barney!" the voice starts to sound familiar, and I feel myself being shaked.

I start to hear another three voices calling my name too.

It confuses me.

I feel myself starting to wake up, only I wish I wasn't waking, I wish I had died in my sleep, away from everything and everyone, the world would be a better place without me.

I open my eyes and they're assaulted by the bright light above me.

"Huh, what happened?" I ask, sitting up and rubbing my face, only then do I feel the dampness on my face, damnit! I've been crying.

I wipe my eyes and try to pretend they were never there.

"Barney, you were screaming and crying in your sleep, and dont say it's nothing because I dont believe you" Lily says, she's sitting next to me, rubbing my back and I feel guilty for worrying her.

"I'm fine, it was just a stupid nightmare" I tell her, I guess its partially true, it was a nightmare, but I am most certainly not fine, nowhere near, haven't been for a while.

"you are not fine Barney, no matter how many times you say that you are, we know you're not, we know you're lying, we're your friends, you can trust us" Robin says, how kind and gentle her words are shock me and frustrates me.

She doesn't mean that, if I tell them they will hate me, they will never understand, this is too much, I need to go home.

"Can't you guys just leave it alone, I dont want to talk about it!" I shout, not waiting for a response, I bolt out the door and run down the stairs.

I take a taxi home because after last night there is no way I am walking home alone again.

No one's POV

Lily, Ted, Marshall and Robin all look shocked at Barney's outburst, but Lily is still determined to find out what is wrong with Barney.

She says goodbye, before leaving after Barney, she gets in a taxi and tells the taxi driver to take her to Barney's apartment.

Ok, that is it for now.

I hope you liked this chapter.

Review what you think so far and/or what you think should happen.

Bye everyone.