Richelle Mead owns the VA and Bloodlines series.

You know, for a story I have mostly written out already, it sure seems to take me a long time to update... I can't wait until this part is over and the real plot gets going. Writing Sydney in reeducation is not a whole lot of fun. I hope you like this chapter. I promise, there is action and romance and excitement to come! Also, in case you haven't checked my Sydrian one shots in a while, there's been lots of updates over there!

The light was almost worse than the dark.

Scratch that. It was worse. At least my eyes adjusted when the cell was being kept in the pitch black. The brilliant white bulbs in the walls of my cell made it feel like my eyes were going to burn right out of my skull.

I wasn't sure how long I'd been here. All I knew was that they'd begun alternating between dark and light on occasion, though I could never be sure how long it would remain one or the other. And the coldness never ended. My eyes could barely adjust to the two extremes, dark so dark you couldn't see your hand in front of your face, light so bright it burned your eyes like the sun.

The disembodied voice spoke to me about how much easier I could make this for myself if I just confessed my sins. I ignored it. I had a harder time ignoring the audio loop they played almost twenty four seven. The one that told me the words I should say if I wanted everything to get better. The one that said, "I have sinned against my own kind and let my soul become corrupted. I am ready to have the darkness purged." That voice occasionally made me want to tear my own hair out.

Dr. Alvarez came by every few days to talk. I ignored her too, as best I could anyway. Occasionally I'd respond to the things she said, usually the superfluous things that didn't mean anything, and just because talking to her about nothing was better than listening to that horrible audio loop.

Out of all the things they did to me, the dark, the burning light, the never ending coldness, it was the loneliness that got to me most. I was tired and sick and hungry, but being lonely—having no one I loved around to talk to... that was what threatened to break me.

I was so afraid it would, that one day I'd lose my mind to the utter bleakness of my world, that I'd give in to the Alchemists wishes. It didn't help that I sometimes found myself mentally repeating the words along with the confessional when I would let my mind wander.

As the days passed with no contact from Adrian I slowly began to realize that he probably wasn't going to be able to find me. We'd joked once that if they ever carted me off to Alchemist jail he'd visit me to keep me company. Right now I prayed I'd see his face one more time, just once more and I'd be able to pull myself back together and keep the Alchemists out of my head.

It wasn't that they were changing the way I felt about Adrian or any of my vampire friends, it was the exact opposite actually. I felt, now more than ever, that the Alchemists, as a whole, were corrupt, manipulative and dangerous. So much worse than they accused the Moroi and dhampirs of being. But the longer I spent locked away the harder it was to remember the little things I used to love about my friends. I could still hear Jill's excited rambling voice in my mind, but the exact shade of her curly brown hair was escaping me. Adrian's beautiful green eyes, the sound of his voice, the feel of his skin against mine... I could remember it all. But the smell of his expensive cologne was difficult to imagine when the only things I could smell were damp concrete and sweat. I couldn't help but think that it would only get worse as time passed.

One day, as I was sitting curled in my usual position against the wall the confessional loop halted so suddenly the silence was almost deafening. I waited, wondering what my robot friend was going to tell me today. After so many hours of listening to the same voice spout the same message over and over again, the robot voice was a welcome change, no matter how pushy or judgmental it seemed.

Instead of a lecture about how in need of cleansing my soul was, a slot on the wall opened, revealing a paper thin jumper. That usually signaled the beginning of Dr. Alvarez's "session". But, after zipping up the jumper, the door remained solidly closed. I let myself hope for one brief moment it meant I was winning, that they were giving me clothes now, even if it was something as flimsy as this jumper. But I knew the more likely scenario was that phase one was over and phase two of my reeducation was about to start.

Terror coursed through my veins when the door finally opened and two armed guards escorted me from the room. I'd never been outside my cell before and I wasn't sure what it meant that they were moving me now. I hadn't given in to a single thing they'd tried to force on me. I treated Alvarez like a joke, purposefully ignoring her. I hadn't broken down from their torture yet. Just thinking about what they'd to to me now made me feel queasy, even though I hadn't eaten since yesterday. At least, I think it was yesterday. It was hard to tell time in a prison.

But, when the guards opened a doors the end of the hall and pushed me into the room, I was almost grateful to find a small bathroom. There was a toilet—and toilet paper!—and a sink, but the thing that actually took my breath away was the shower. A shower. I couldn't remember the last time I'd actually had one of those. Not since the day the Alchemists kidnapped me. I knew there must be a reason they were offering me this, and I almost wanted to go back into the hall and demand to know what they were up to. Almost. Instead, I cautiously approached the shower and turned the knob.

A sigh of relief escaped me as a stream of hot water—hot water!—poured from the shower head. Half a second later I'd stripped off the thin jump suit and hopped under the spray. I'd though the warm water was as good as it got, that was until I found a collection of soaps and shampoos on a shelf. A good twenty minutes passed before I felt I was scrubbed clean enough to considering getting out of the shower. I knew if I didn't soon they'd only force me out. Honestly, I was surprised they'd let me stay in as long as they had.

When I exited the shower, there was another shelf containing a towel, a thicker gray jumpsuit, and a toothbrush. As quickly as I could, I grabbed the toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste, brushing and scrubbing the horrible tastes out of my mouth. Once I was sure I was clean and dry I stepped into my new clothes and brushed my hair.

There must have been cameras in the bathroom, I realized, as the guards came in as soon as I finished up and dragged me down the hall to another room. A steel table sat in the middle with a chair on either side. Dr. Alvarez was already waiting.

"Sydney," she smiled as I took my seat opposite her. "You look a million times better. Did you enjoy your shower?"

"Of course," I told her. "Beats stewing in my own filth for another week."

"Sydney, we've given you all of the commodities you need in your cell," she frowned. "And you always have the opportunity to leave. All you need to do is confess—"

"Confess my sins," I cut her off with a dismissive wave of my hand. "I know, I know. It's not going to happen."

Alvarez frowned again, but just shook her head this time, like I was an unruly child. "I'd like us to discuss your mission, Sydney. I know you're uncomfortable opening up to me, but maybe we could start at the beginning. Why were you in Palm Springs?"

"It's confidential, I'm afraid," I told her with a smile. "Telling you could jeopardize the whole thing."

She pressed her lips together tightly, but managed to avoid another frown. "You were there to protect Moroi princess Jillian Dragomir, were you not? You were on an undercover mission at a school called Amberwood Preparatory."

I leaned back in my chair and studied my fingernails. "If you already know all of this, then why are you asking me?"

She ignored me. "You shared a bedroom with Jillian? How did that make you feel, sharing a room with a Moroi?"

I sighed, sitting up. "I had awful nightmares about her biting me in the middle of the night just like any good little Alchemist would. But she didn't. Jill couldn't hurt a fly."

Alvarez smiled and nodded, like we were getting somewhere. "And Eddie Castile was there, as well? Protecting Jillian? What did you think of him?"

"Eddie is one of the most dedicated, hard working people I know. He'd do anything to keep the people he loves safe. And I'm honored to call myself one of them."

"So you were close to Mr. Castile then? But he was not the one you became..." Alvarez struggled for the word, disgust clear in her eyes even though she was trying to hide it, "involved with?"

I sneered across the table at her. "You know he isn't. Why waste both of our time with a stupid question like that?"

"Just corroborating all of the accounts..."

"How many accounts can you have? You're going off of my sister's account of things. She's the only one who could have told you anything and she knows it was Adrian, not Eddie."

"Fine." Alvarez narrowed her brown eyes at me. "Tell me about Adrian Ivashkov. How did you first meet?"

"How do you think we first met? It was at the beginning of the mission. When I met all of the others."

"And did you feel anything for him at that time?"

I rolled my eyes. "I looked into his eyes and knew it was love." The studious expression she was wearing melted into genuine interest for a split second and I laughed. "Of course I didn't feel anything. I'd just met him, and he wasn't in a particularly good mood at the time. Look, Dr. Alvarez, I didn't go into this mission looking to change my outlook on the Alchemists. I didn't go in to it looking for anything. All I wanted was to do my duty and keep Jill safe. But these things hit us when we least expect it and that's how it was for me and Adrian. I fell for him when I wasn't expecting to. I didn't want to love him, it just happened."

"And that's what I would like to determine, Sydney. How it happened."

Looking at Alvarez, I couldn't help but feel a little sorry for her. I always gave her such a hard time, but she was just trying to do her job. It wasn't her fault that her job meant messing with my life and my head.

"I can explain it to you for the next thirty years and you still won't like my answer. Adrian never used compulsion or coercion or anything bad. He's just charming and funny and he made me fall in love with him. That was it."

She watched me for a few moments before glancing down at her watch. "Okay, Sydney," she said, not unkindly. "That's it for the day. You may go back to your room."

I wasn't ready to be dismissed like that. Usually she kept asking ridiculous questions for at least a half hour before she gave up on me. It made me nervous that she was sending me away so soon, but I had no choice but to follow her instructions when the guards came up on either side of me and brought me back to the cold cell.

As I walked back in though I could tell immediately that something was going on. The room, normally kept at a temperature a little above the freezing point, was at a comfortable seventy something degrees. In a room that had been cold for so long it was almost sweltering, but I wasn't about to complain. I had clothes, I was clean, and the temperature was pleasant for once.

I sat down against the wall, simply enjoying the time I had before the Alchemists did whatever horrible thing they were prepping me for by giving me all these things. So when the door of my cell opened a little while later I wasn't surprised, until I saw who it was, that is.

Shocked coursed through me when Ian walked through the door. I watched in horror as his nose scrunched at the undoubtedly thick smell of damp moldiness and unwashed human. I may have been clean, but the porous concrete walls and floor had been soaking in the smell for weeks and the higher temperature in the room wasn't doing the smell any favors either.

"Sydney," he smiled, ignoring the smell. "I'm so glad you're okay!"

"Ian?" I couldn't figure out why, of all the people I knew, they'd send in Ian. Maybe it was my father's idea. He'd liked Ian the one time they'd met. Probably hoped the sight of him would make me realize what I was missing. Little did he know that given the choice between loving Adrian and being locked up or being with Ian and being free, I'd still choose Adrian every time no matter how illogical that might seem. "What are you doing here?"

"Your father told me what happened." He looked pained. "I can't believe... I'm so sorry, Sydney. But you're strong, you'll get through this. I know you will. But they're saying you refuse to cooperate."

"They want me to confess my sins, but I don't have any sins to confess," I told him the way I told everyone else. "I didn't do anything wrong."

Ian gave a sad shake of his head like he sympathized and stepped closer, taking hold of my arms. "Sydney, I know how traumatic this all is. I can't imagine what you must be going through. All of this is just... unbearable." For a moment I almost forgot the feel of his hands on my skin, because maybe he didn't understand why I was being obstinate, but he was willing to admit that the Alchemist techniques were wrong. But then he kept talking. "You should have been better protected. I can't believe that damned vampire put his hands on you." He looked like he wanted to spit on the floor in disgust. "I can't believe... I should have said something to your father after the wedding, when that vampire forced himself on you. I should have done something. Stanton should have done something. I don't know why she didn't."

He pulled me tightly to his chest and for a moment I was taken back by the genuine sorrow in his voice. But, after I processed his words about "that damned vampire", I pushed him away.

"That vampire has a name," I said. "It's Adrian. And he never did anything to me I didn't want."

Confusion lit Ian's eyes, but I thought I saw something darker flash in them before it was gone. "No. You only think that because he hurt you, Sydney. He's corrupted your soul. Please, stop being uncooperative and let us help you. Let me help you."

He started to reach for me again, but I knocked his hand away. "I won't stop because you're wrong," I said, obstinate as ever. "They're wrong! The Alchemists are a thousand times worse than Moroi or dhampirs will ever be. Hell, they might even be worse than Strigoi. At least the Strigoi have an excuse for being soulless monsters." I smirked at him, hoping I looked like Adrian when he was being a smart-ass. "What's yours?"

That darkness that I'd seen so briefly exploded across his features. He grabbed my arm again. Hard. "You listen to me!" Like hell. "Everyone is trying their hardest to help you—ah!"

My free hand collided with his cheek and Ian stepped back, clutching the left side of his face. His cheek was a sickening shade of pink from where the small fireball I'd formed had burned him.

"Don't you ever touch me!" I growled at him, seething.

He made the sign of evil on his shoulder and backed out of the room, eyes wide and frightened and never straying from mine the whole time like he thought I might leap across the room to attack him if he turned his back. After Ian left I was too tired to do anything but fall back against the wall and sink to the floor, in shock.

I'd used magic. It was the first time since I'd been locked away that I'd been able to summon any magic to me at all. I wasn't even sure how I'd done it, since I still had the Alchemists drugs in my system. I'd been angry at Ian for grabbing me and somehow that anger must have been enough to raise a quick burst of magic within me. I slipped my hands between my thighs and, as surreptitiously as possible, tried to summon a small flame. When that didn't work I tried going for just a spark, a flicker, anything. But it was useless. They'd kept me drugged and, whatever I'd done to circumvent that, it had been a fluke.

Then the real problem dawned on me. Ian's cheek was burned. When he had it looked at by an Alchemist doctor they'd know that I burned him somehow. Even Ian knew I'd done something more than slap him. He'd made the sign of evil against me.

The question was, what would the Alchemists do to me now that they knew I was a witch?