Years ago, I sat on my bed of heaped straw and wondered what it was all for. As silent and invisible as a ghost I watched the adults pass in and out of the far and slowly decided that the only reason could be greed. Looking back now I realize how extremely limited I had been in my understanding of life and what lived in the world beyond myself. Humans are indeed one of the greediest creatures to ever walk this earth, but they were just as capable of the opposite. No other being could ever possibly hope to love so deeply, trust so utterly, or live as fully as the creature named Man.
Eight
The cave was cold, though it did not seem as if it should be with the shifting sands of the desert only a few feet away. I watched it shift at the mouth of the cave for a moment, my eyes lifting and falling as it did. "Desert" did not seem a fitting name for the flowing dunes that spread across the great expanse of land before me.
To eyes that had never known such a dry, empty land it seemed more like an ocean stripped of life but none of its dangerous beauty. For what felt at once like years and seconds I continued to stare until a small, sharp sound snapped my attention away.
"Who's there?" I asked slowly. To move my tongue was to lift a twenty pound weight. My voice echoed back to me from the black depths of the cave and was answered by a long utterance that I distinctly understood to be laughter.
"What do you want of me?" I forced out. The resistance of my tongue as not unlike cooled molasses.
Want of you..? I do not want anything of you, child, but you want something from me.
The voice that answered me boomed into my subconscious with all the power of an explosion, shaking my entire body and tearing a cry of pain from my lungs. I tried to cover my ears against the intruding sound, but my limbs moved too slowly, as if I were floating in a whole bubble of thick syrup.
"I'm not deaf, you know." I whispered in a failed attempt at sarcasm. I was terrified, the fear sinking deeply into my bones.
The laughter came again, more loudly. The sound reverberated throughout the entire room like a small earthquake.
Heed this warning, girl.
The voice came again, sober in an instant. The pressure in my head did not lesson with its tone.
The old bitch that has charged you with my murder will do only what she must to further her own life and cares nothing for the kingdom. Do not let her fool you. She will remove you the moment you cease to be of use to her.
"Do you mean the Seer? Nobody's told me to murder anyone!"
My strength wanes. We will speak again in time.
"Wait!" I cried desperately. "You've not made any sense! Who are you?"
Even as I spoke the darkness branched out to surround me. In moments what had been a cave became a thick blanket of numbing nothing. Panic gripped me as the part of my subconscious that had not forgotten the pull of death's hand recognized the bottomless pit that I was being enveloped by. The terror brought with it the horrible doubt that I would be able to escape the Nothing a second time, and I began thrashing madly in an attempt to shake it off. The darkness responded by hugging in more tightly, wrapping around my arms and applying pressure. I fought with all my strength, imagining that the pressure on my wrists were a pair of large hands forcing me to lie still.
"…nne! Rhynne! Wake the hell up! You're going to rip your lip back open if you don't calm down!"
Arrus's voice pulled me to the surface as if by a string attached to my middle. Suddenly aware of my lungs I sucked in air greedily. It turned out that it had been his hands holding my wrists, and as that realization came to light I let my arms go limp.
Opening my eyes at last, I tilted my head to stare at his face hovering half a foot above my own. I felt the distinct impression that I had been dreaming of something important but could not put my finger on what it was about. Arrus was panting lightly from exertion, no doubt from struggling with me, and there was a frown of worry darkening his features.
"You can let me go now." I said nervously after a few tense seconds had gone by without him moving. My throat felt dry and sore, as if I had spent the night with my mouth open.
Arrus did so without a word and raised a hand to rub at a bruise peeking out from under his collar, and I noticed a bit of dried blood on his finger.
"You're hurt. Who's attacked you? It wasn't me, was it?" I asked in alarm. Without asking permission I tugged gently at his collar to better see the marks on his neck.
They looked like finger prints.
"It's nothing you've done. The king's bitch needs a good piece of steel at her throat, is all" Arrus deadpanned. Without further explanation he stood and stepped away from me and grabbed the water basin from his desk.
Wordlessly, he scrubbed his face clean. His obvious anger over whatever happened had me convinced that something more than the Seer attacking him was on his mind. A peculiar sense of dread in my gut stopped me from asking for more.
"You should wash your face, too, lady warrior." He said more lightly as he dried himself with the edge of his undershirt.
"Do I look that bad?" I asked, smiling tentatively.
My mouth felt as if it were stuffed with cotton, and my bottom lip was without doubt swollen nearly twice its usual size on the left side. A ringing in my head started the room to spinning the moment I tried to sit up.
"Don't over exert yourself. You managed to pull off some pretty strong magick yesterday." Arrus admonished.
"It wasn't as if I had much of a choice!" I defended myself with as much dignity as I could muster through a swollen lip.
When he talked to me that way I felt as if I were being picked on by an older brother, and for some reason I found myself uncomfortable with that. He responded to my sore tone by ruffling my hair and laughing when I tried to take a swing at him.
"Come, oh fearless one, it is time for you to cleanse your visage of the marks of battle and return to human form!" Arrus drawled dramatically, and then offered me the water basin with a flourish and bow.
Laughing despite myself, I obeyed without further resistance. The cool water stung at first but ultimately felt nice against my battered face. My left eye moved too slowly, as if it was being pressed against by an invisible hand, but I knew that it was only swollen, too. The amount of dried blood that came off of my face and tinted the water pink was a bit alarming.
"Ah, the fair maiden returns to us a monster no more. Well, mostly." The prince grinned broadly at his own joke and skidded away at my frustrated attacks.
Mid-swing I noticed the enormous change that Arrus's room had undergone.
"What did you do with all of your books?!" I demanded.
"They were moved so the room would be bigger." Arrus answered with some surprise at my sudden outburst.
"Why on earth would you put away such treasures?! You had so many!" I puffed furiously, knowing that I was dangerously close to pouting and not caring.
"I couldn't have you cutting one of my favorite books in half during combat training." He sniffed as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"Combat training?" I inquired in confusion.
"The king has given the order that you become my squire. After your classes with Norm you'll be training with me now, too."
"Wait, isn't there some sort of training to even becoming a knight's squire? Why skip all of that, and why so suddenly? Why me, in particular?" I let the questions fall out of me like water before shutting my lips tightly against the flow. Most questions could be answered later.
"The Seer has had a vision that you're a key in the war, and the king decided that the best way to prepare you is to send you to your death. He wants you to train here for two months and then be shipped off, along with Sarj and me, to the border. At least, those are the orders the king has given." He explained evenly.
Nothing felt any clearer to me.
"To the border?" I asked in astonishment.
We would all be killed there within a week.
"Again, this is what the king has ordered, but that is not the order we will be following."
"If not the king's, then whose?" I asked, though I had a sinking feeling that I already knew the answer.
"The Seer's." Arrus stated with as much conviction as I was feeling. "She sees the potential in you as a means to winning this war, and had come up with a plan to make you more powerful more quickly. She wants us to go in one particular direction once we set out at the end of the two months."
"And what, pray tell, would that one direction lead us to?" I could hear the deep pessimism in my voice as it left me and made no move to hide it.
"The western deserts. Supposedly, there's an old dragon there that we must kill. The Seer says that if we bring its heart back with us that we can bring some sort of secret weapon out of you."
He must have read the complete disbelief in my face because he quickly continued in a voice that demanded I listen.
"We must leave in two months' time, regardless of which order we follow, and I would much rather chase a myth through a desert than see you or Sarj killed by those beasts."
I could not say that I did not agree with him. Perhaps dragons did not exist, but the Seer had yet to be wrong until this point. I wondered whether or not she truly had such a powerful Sight, but quickly conceded that she must, or she would not have been able to make it so far as the king's side.
"Oh, and there's one last dash of sugar on the sweet cake. The Seer knows you're a woman." Arrus said calming as he began putting on his armor.
"WHAT?!" I shouted just as a knock sounded at the door.
"You may enter." Arrus called while raising a hand to calm me.
I fumed in silence as the doorman opened the door and bowed low.
"Shall I escort the boy today, or do you wish the honor to be your own, sire?" He asked.
His constant look of distaste gave me the distinct impression of a skunk that had just gotten a whiff of its own taint.
"I will take him, thank you, and you would do well to control your expression, doorman. The boy has been appointed squire by the king's command, and you will treat him with the respect his title demands." Arrus said coldly.
"Of course, your highness, how careless of me. Congratulations to you both. Now, if you will excuse me, sire."
He apologized without the slightest hint of sincerity and left the room as quickly as he had come.
"Pardon me, please, if this causes you any sort of offense," I began slowly the moment I knew that I could speak freely again, "but how in the hell did you let the one secret we have slip into her ear?!"
"Oh, aren't you ferocious." Arrus said sarcastically, infuriating me farther with his amusement.
"She didn't get the information from me. She Saw it when she found you for the king."
"She knew…and she never told the king? What power could I have that would be worth treason?" I asked in bewilderment.
It just did not make sense to me.
"I don't know the answer, either, except to say that she is, for now, our ally." Arrus said with some dread.
A bird chirped behind me, making me jump. Arrus managed a smile at my surprise and explained that he himself had forgotten about the window behind me. I stopped listening when I looked outside and saw that the sun was already almost to its highest peak in the sky.
"I'm late for the lesson!" I cried in horror as I spun around and raced towards the fresh set of clothing laid out at the foot of my bed.
I paused only long enough to shoo Arrus into the corner. As I dressed hurriedly I wondered out loud why my clothes were so different than the day before. The prince explained without turning that they were the traditional garments of a squire in training, and that I would be required to wear them every day from that point on. I grimaced at the idea of a uniform but had to admit that the brown cotton tunic and fitted leather pants were far finer than anything I had had the privilege of owning.
When I had dressed I scrambled out the door with my new commander in two and only had to be corrected of my turns once along the way. To my chagrin, the lessons were already long underway, but Norm greeted me with the same chipper prattle he always did.
"Welcome, welcome! So nice of our little fighter to join us! Better keep you to the back today, hmm?" The older Wielder called as he took in my swollen lip and eye. "Why didn't you let the healer tend to your face, boy? I know, you wanted to show the world how might you are, yes? I'm right, yes? I say that magick you threw might have done that for you, hmm?"
"I'm deeply sorry for disrupting your class, master. I give my word that it won't happen again." I promised with my head bent respectfully and tried to show my sheepishness.
Norm snorted, slapping me on the shoulder lightly.
"Good boy, honesty is the best course of action in almost any situation! Unless your lad asks where you've been, yes? Ha! Okay! Stand beside Barumis there and let him explain what's being done!"
"Yes sir!" I said with relief.
I had been expecting some sort of punishment for the day before and being late after, but it would seem that Norm simply did not have it in him. A quick look around confirmed that Greggory was not among the others, which brought me stronger relief than anything else.
The lesson went on much as the one before it, though that day we were learning the spell to freeze an enemy temporarily in place and how best to use it to get out of the way of their attacks. There were no incessant insults towards my size or jibes at my mother today, a fact that I was grateful for. What had caused him to hate me so completely from the moment he laid eyes on me was far beyond my understanding, but I knew that I would not be able to make peace with him until I confronted him about it.
"Rhyce, move!" Barumis called out.
I came back to reality just in time to register the practice sword swinging through the air. With a solid thud the dulled metal met my gut and knocked the wind from me. Wheezing, I fell to the ground.
"You're supposed to stop the attack." Barumis scolded firmly as he helped me back up.
Gritting my teeth against the pain I squared off in front of my sparring partner again. Now was not the time to daydream. I had to become better than everyone else here in two months. The boy came at me again, letting out a grunt as he lifted the heavy wood, and I shouted the words Barumis had taught me only minutes before.
Sagrum Arin!
A pressure pulled in the back of my mind as energy left me and hurled itself towards the boy in front of me. The boy froze, and the world around me with him. For a brief moment the world was completely still, dust particles in the air meeting the sun and throwing back a dozen colors I could not name. My jaw dropped in awe at the beauty of that breath of time, of that single heartbeat in which I could see everything in its clearest form.
And then the moment passed, and time began to slowly move again. My wits returned more quickly, and I scrambled out of the way just as the spell broke. The practice sword struck the ground hard where I had just been standing, sending a dull thud echoing through the arena.
"Well, done! Oh, splendid, dear Rhyce! You're the first to pull it off, boy, feel proud!"
Norm grabbed my arms and danced with me as he rambled excitedly. I tried to dance along through the pain in my chest and face, allowing myself one small smile of achievement before humbly pulling away and nodding to my sparring partner to go again.
The rest of the lesson continued in the same way. My partner, whose name I never learned, attacked me over and over again, and I stopped him every time. I was secretly pleased that I had missed the first half of that day's lesson because each casting took a little bit more energy from me. By the time Norm called an end to the day I felt as if my bones were made of lead.
As we set out to our various chambers I found Arrus waiting for me at the exit as usual, but he was dressed in a fancier version of my own outfit this time. To see him in public without his armor was a bit of a shock, but his grim expression quickly helped me move on from it.
We returned to his chambers without a word spoken between us, and I felt a hard knot of anxiety grow in the pit of my stomach as his door came into view. Inside, his bedroom was the same as before with one exception. I did not much like the look of the swords laid out on my bed and pondered what we would need five foot staffs for.
"The staffs are to teach you balance and range of motion." Arrus said, reading my mind.
"What will we be learning today?" I asked.
I had never held a weapon in all of my life and did not look forward to that fact changing.
"Endurance." The prince answered simply and handed me one of the staffs.
The wooden pole stood only a head shorter than me, and my exhausted arms could barely hold the thing up. Already, I wanted to throw the cursed thing away from me and crawl under my covers, but I knew that that would not be allowed.
"What am I supposed to-Hey!"
Arrus had swung his staff out at me without warning. Instincts engrained from years of dodging ice and snow kicked in instantly, and my hands lifted my staff to block his blow without hesitation. The force of his strike shook my arms, but he did not allow me more than a moment to recuperate before he was swinging again. He chased me across the room without expression, sending blow after blow against my defense. For a long while it was all I could do to keep his staff from hitting me, but when he managed to back me into a corner the anger started to settle in.
With nowhere else to go I began to desperately watch for a flaw in the way he moved. A sort of pattern emerged as I fended him off with flagging success. Every few blow Arrus would lift the staff and strike from above, but in doing so he exposed his stomach. With my strength slowly waning I knew it would be my only chance to escape this madness.
There! My thoughts screeched as the opening presented itself, and I moved with all of the speed I could muster to send my staff against his unguarded chest. To my great confusion my weapon did not connect. My balance thrown off, I stumbled into the empty space that he had occupied only a moment before and glanced around in panic. A sharp blow to my shoulders from behind sent a cry of fury from my lips and knocked me onto my knees.
"It was good of you to catch my pattern, but you can't be so obvious in your intensions." Arrus said tonelessly from where he stood a couple feet away.
"Your enemy won't spare your life. We will work on keeping your expression as smooth as a river-washed stone." He continued more gently and offered me a hand. I grunted at him without grace and stood up on my own.
"Good of you to explain that before you started trying to bludgeon me to death." I muttered darkly, but then sighed in defeat.
His teaching style was brutal, but it made sense to teach me by example.
"You must feel the danger as you fight. I don't agree with the sword trainers here when they say relentless drill is enough to prepare you for a real fight." Arrus said softly, "It's getting late, though. We still start again tomorrow, but from here on out there won't be resting until the day of work is done. Starting tomorrow, you'll begin for real."
"You did well, Rhyce." He praised me gently and reached out to ruffle my hair.
The simple compliment almost made my screaming muscles worth it. Almost.
"May I sleep now..?" I asked.
It was more effort than I could muster to keep the desperate need for rest from my voice.
"Go to bed, warrior." Arrus said with a mirthful laugh. "You have earned it."
I cannot say that I did not envy his seemingly endless reserve of energy and strength. The sweet knowledge of sleep pulled me to the bed, and I felt onto it without undressing. With bones that felt to be made of jelly I curled up into a ball and fell asleep almost instantly.
The next day, and those following, would turn out to be much of the same.
Every morning I learned something new from Norm. As we practiced our Wielding came more easily, spells that had once exhausted us coming with less and less effort. If I had denied the fact that I could Wield before I could no longer do so now. My abilities soared above the others, the spells fallings from my lips and finger tips as water did down a hill. We learned how to summon fire at will, how to disarm first a single man and then five at once. Norm taught us how to sense poisons and place of ward of protection around ourselves and others. He even let us learn how to trick someone into seeing spiders on their skin. I was especially good at illusions and could soon place whatever image my mind could invent before the eyes of my opponents. I loved every moment of it and often felt a sense of loss when Norm announced in his hectic way that the day's learning was over.
The evenings never ceased being something to dread. Arrus worked me without mercy, moving from one instruction to the next only when he felt that I had mastered the one before it. It took an entire week of relentless dodging and swinging to gain enough skill at the sword and shield for him to allow me to move on to combat without a shield. That did not prove to be any sort of improvement as it only freed up more of my body for him to strike when I failed to execute an attack properly. I grew to believe that my friend must be part demon as time went by, but could not say that I was not learning anything. Within the first month I grew to learn how best to block a stronger opponent, how speed and small stature could serve as enormous advantages in battle, and every weakness the human body had to offer. There were surprisingly quite a few ways to kill a man with little effort, but only a couple that would kill him instantly. After an eternity I began to notice that Arrus's blows connected less and less often, and that every now and again I would be able to land one or two of my own.
The days passed quickly, and all too soon the two months allotted to me were almost at their end. With two days left before we set out Arrus called a halt to my training. When I asked why he explained that I deserved some proper rest before we started on our journey. I was mildly surprised to feel a bit of sadness that the lessons were to stop, but quickly squashed it down before Arrus saw and changed his mind.
Norm seemed to feel the same way as I entered the training grounds for the last morning. He waved me away with an enormous grin on his old features.
"You've grown more than I could have imagined, yes? My star pupil! I must say it's because of my amazing prowess as a teacher! Please, do go and rest up for your journey. To the borders, I heard! Nasty business that is, but an order is an order! Go! Be off with you, boy!" He carried on with a good-natured smile.
I smiled at him gratefully and turned to leave.
"Wait." A familiar voice spoke up. I stopped and turned to face Greggory as he approached.
Greggory had returned to lessons after three days with the healers. My throw had left him with a broken leg and scarred pride. When he returned the murderous hatred seemed to have died on the arena steps, and from his return forward he had spent our lessons as far from me as possible. He still hated me, this had never changed, but I had dogged him tirelessly for weeks until the truth came out bit by bit. Greggory had the Sight, or something akin to it, and had seen me in his dreams every night for two months prior to his summons to the king's castle. He had been, and by his account still was, plagued by images of me outshining him in every task. So far I had only proven his blurred visions to be correct. Somehow, without meaning to at all, I had built a hatred and resentment up in him before he had ever laid eyes on me.
Over the two months of training we had been forced to work together, and as we worked towards the same goal Greggory had been forced to grudgingly accept me for my strengths. Though I had not earned his friendship, I had at least managed to gain his respect.
"Good luck out there." He said a bit awkwardly, obviously uncomfortable in giving me good wishes.
"Thank you." I answered softly.
"I can't say I won't be relieved to see you go, but if you die out there before I can challenge you again I'll gut you." He promised, a tiny smile tugging at his lips.
"You better not slack off, then. I'll be expecting a long battle." I said with a wink.
Greggory nodded gravely and walked away to join the others.
I laughed at our odd relationship; not quite friends and not quite enemies. The smile did not fade from my face until I had reached Arrus's quarters. The prince was not there, however, and a large man sat on his desk chair attempting to read a novel printed in a language that appeared to contain more numbers than letters.
"Sarj!" I cried ecstatically and threw myself forward to embrace my long missed friend.
The older man grunted in surprise and returned my embrace with a booming laugh. Pulling away, I promptly smacked him on his forehead.
"What was that fer?" He sputtered as he rubbed the already reddening spot.
"For not visiting even once in two months!" I said with an exaggerated pout.
"Aye, 'tis been far too long, lass. By god have you grown to look nothing like the tiny thing I knew! Where did yeh find all those muscles?" He cried in admiration, taking my hand and telling me to flex.
I laughed, allowing him to bluster over the strength I had gained in his absence. The door opened in the next moment to make way for Arrus as he walked in laden with saddle bags.
"It's good to see you two still get along, but could you stop messing around and help me gather our things?" He said irritably as he began pulling out the pieces of his travel armor.
"He's jus' sulkin' because he'll have t'put his suit on again. Doesn' like havin' to clank when he walks." Sarj whisper yelled in my ear.
"More like I don't want to have to run around with a great buffoon like you by my side." Arrus said and sent him the glare that Arrus reserved especially for Sarj.
I laughed at them both and began to gather our things without bothering to try and stop their banter. To have them both with me again was enough to set my mood somewhere in the clouds for the entirety of that day, and I reveled in their argumentative ways as we gathered what we would need for our journey. The day passed just as quickly as those before it had, and by nightfall our horses were ready to set out at first light. I had been given a beautiful young battle stallion to ride early on in my training with Arrus and been taught the proper way to ride him. I had name him Disaster almost immediately for all of the fight he put up in being tamed. Instinct told me to lay forward and whisper promises of loyalty to the horse, and at my voice he had calmed. From that first meeting he and I had been inseparable companions during the days I was brought to the stables to train in riding.
Sarj let out another booming exclamation of shock when he first laid eyes on my mount, sending Disaster into a twitter at the sudden sound, and I admonished him for spooking my friend. The seasoned knight clapped me on the shoulder at my accomplishments, and I was given the pleasure of learning that his strikes no longer hurt or threatened to knock me over.
Sarj left us late in the evening to sleep in his own chamber, but he had not been allowed to leave until he had properly explained his absence. He had been on patrol duty around the city's border, keeping the raiders that preyed on the poorer folk at bay with his troop. I felt that to be insulting work for a king's knight, but Sarj had been proud to take it up.
"It helps me feel closer t'the people." He explained in his booming voice before leaving.
"Tomorrow we ride." Arrus said seriously as I climbed into bed. "There will be no coming home until the allotted months have passed."
"I know," I answered a bit sadly, "But it must be done. Who knows, perhaps we will find this dragon of the desert."
"Mm." He grunted from his bed as he, too, settled into his pillows.
I stayed awake for a while longer thinking about what was to come the next day. I did not much like the idea of having to set out with so little knowledge of what awaited us. Every time the dragon and its desert was mentioned a nagging thought pulled at my mind. It was a memory, its contents just out of reach of my grasping hands. Though I had never been to a desert, I had read of them in books, and I could see almost too clearly the image of endless, drifting sands. As I slept the image continued into a dream.
The sands gathered around my feet, inching up in an attempt to swallow me alive. Knowing that I should not panic, I looked around for something to grasp. To my left something shifted just beyond sight, and I craned my neck in order to better see it. I registered only a shining glimpse of golden flesh and a wickedly curved claw before a familiar voice collided with my mind.
I'll be waiting for you.