Ernest's house wasn't anything like Perry had imagined.
A big leather couch filled up a lot of the living room. The television was still on, playing an old TV series. An empty can of soda was lopsided on the floor.
"Excuse the mess." Ernest said, tossing his soda can into a plastic red trash bin.
"You have your own house?" Perry asked.
"Security agents work random hours. The host families would become suspicious." Ernest explained. He gestured toward the kitchen, which was only separated from the living room by the counter. "I was making a late-night dinner. Do you want anything?"
"Maybe some water." Perry said.
Ernest reached into the fridge and tossed him a bottle. Perry opened it and drank gratefully.
"Your name will probably clear quickly," Ernest said. "Seeing as this is technically your first offense."
"I didn't do it."
"I know."
Perry sat down on the couch. "They won't find me here, right?"
"I doubt it. Unless they followed you."
"I had a good head start. Should I hide back at home?"
Ernest shook his head. "That's the worst place to hide."
"How could they know I live there?"
"Agency files. They can get hold of anything they want."
"It's so unfair." Perry grumbled. "I didn't even do it."
"You're safe here." Ernest assured him. "No one ever comes by."
"Gets lonely, huh?" Perry asked.
Ernest gave a sad smile. "Yes."
Perry woke up cramped from sleeping on the couch. He tried to stretch, but it didn't help much.
He flopped down on the couch cushion.
"Everything okay?" Ernest asked, coming into the living room. He was still wearing his Beluga shirt.
"Stiff." Perry said.
"I'm sorry." Ernest said.
"I'm okay." Perry rubbed his sore back and looked around. "How long do you think I have to wait until I can go?"
"Monogram sent a message. He's going to try and clear things up with the police. Hopefully you can get home soon."
"The boys." Perry muttered, leaning back.
"I will let them know you're here." Ernest said.
Perry squinted. "Just one thing. At the agency, you're terrifying. Here, you're nice."
Ernest smiled. "Here, I'm off-duty."
"That was too close." Rex said. "We almost got caught that time. Why can't ya just be more careful?"
Prince glared at him and stuffed a couple of chips into her mouth. "Noth my problemth."
"YES, it's your problem!" Rex said. "Do you know how many people witnessed you fleeing the scene? It's only a matter of time before the police track YOU down and find US!"
"They won't find me." Prince said, propping her boots up on the glass table Rex had worked so hard to steal. "I'm stealth."
Rex snorted. "THAT'S for sure."
"Come on, Rex." Mike the mongoose said. "She's in the clear already. The police pegged the crime on someone else." He blushed as he said it.
"THAT makes me feel better." Prince said sarcastically.
"They're gonna find out." Rex said. "And it'll all have been for nothing. That gang hiding in the junkyard got away."
"They're not gonna find out." Prince said. "I give you my word."
"That's not worth much." Rex growled.
"You're going to trip if you don't lace up your boots." Mike said, although he might have been speaking to the floor instead of Prince.
"Good idea." Prince smirked. "Anyone want to show me how to do it?"
Rex scratched his ear, and Mike looked away. Rex had been an alley cat for most of his life. Mike had never met a human in his.
Neither knew anything about shoelaces.
"Didn't think so." Prince mumbled.
A basenji crawled under the board that served as an entrance to the hideout of the Silencers. He looked worried.
"What is it, Dane?" Rex asked.
"I found out someone was snooping in the factory before Prince blew it up." Dane said.
Prince snickered. "They wouldn't have found much. I boarded up the entryway to the fireworks."
"You used fireworks?" Rex asked.
"They make prettier explosions than dynamite."
"I was looking in the rubble to make sure you hadn't left any clues behind for the police," Dane said. "And I found this strange device on the remains of the stairs." Dane said. He held up a little blinking circle.
"A melting device." Rex said darkly. "So someone HAS been up there."
Prince jumped up and grabbed the circle from Dane's paw. "Impossible."
"Everything's possible when you aren't CAREFUL!" Rex snapped, shoving Prince aside. He turned back to Dane. "Do you think…"
"The police?" Dane asked. "I don't…"
"It's not the police." Prince said.
"How do you know?" Rex demanded.
She only glared at him.
"Well, if you know who it IS, make sure they don't talk." Rex said. "Or I'll turn you in to the police myself."
"Your most valuable gang member?" Prince mocked. "Of course you would."
Mike, however, looked worried.
"The Clownington/Adems wedding was a huge success…"
"Put your hands together for Marty the rabbit boy and his…"
"Suspect of Danville Factory arson is still on the loose…"
Perry gave up and switched off the television. He was bored beyond belief.
Ernest had to work that morning, and Perry was stuck inside his house with nothing to do.
All because some platypus had decided to randomly explode Danville's most worthless building.
His phone rang. Grateful for the call, Perry instantly picked it up. "Hello?"
"Perry!" Phineas said. "It's breakfast time. Don't you want food?"
"Um… I can't really come home right now."
"Why? What happened?"
"Cops."
"Cops?"
"They're chasing me. They think I blew up the factory."
"What?"
"I can't come home, Phineas. They'll find me there."
"Well, you're gonna have to come home. We leave this afternoon, remember? For our summer road trip. They won't find you on our trip, right?"
"Oh. Right. Um… let me find out what the Flittering Eagle thinks, and then I'll call you back…"
"Perry, you HAVE to come with us. It's the first summer we've ever REALLY spent together, like, knowing you completely. Aside from that time we went into the Second Dimension, I mean."
"I'll try, Phinny."
Someone knocked on the door.
"Was that knocking?" Phineas asked.
"Yeah."
"I saw this horror movie once where this guy got a knock on his door and he opened it and…"
"Not helping." Perry made his way toward the door and looked out the peephole.
Three policemen were standing on the doorstep.
"Hey, Phineas. I just found out about a new game. Escape from the Flittering Eagle's house."
"Oh no, they found you?"
"Not yet. Stay on the line?"
"Where are you?"
"Teddybear Lane."
"And I assume you're in the house with the three policemen on the doorstep?"
"Phinny, what on earth…"
"Hey, mister! Mister! My cat's stuck in a tree!"
Perry looked cautiously out the window. Phineas was waving frantically at the police, his cell phone still in his hand. "My cat! She can't get down!"
"We're a little busy, kid." One of the policemen said.
Phineas's eyes became watery. "Mommy always told me police helped people. I… I guess she was wrong."
A policeman sighed. "Fine, kid. Lead us to the cat."
"Need me to call a friend to get up in the backyard tree?" Perry whispered into the phone.
"Yes!" Phineas whispered back.
"Kay. I'll get Carrie." Perry waited until Phineas and the policemen were out of sight.
Carrie agreed to get up in the Flynn-Fletcher tree in exchange for some Fishy Wishy treats. Perry promised he would buy some the first chance he got.
Perry slipped out of Ernest's house and took the long way home. By the time he got there, the police and Carrie had gone.
He came in through the pet flap and found his breakfast.
Phineas and Ferb patted him while he ate.
"Nice con artistry back there, Phinny." Perry commented.
Phineas shrugged. "I got the idea from Saturday morning cartoons."
"There's a surveyor agent named Maude." Perry said. "She had her memory wiped for some-reason-or-other, and the only thing she remembers are TV commercials. She has tons of them memorized."
"Weird." Phineas said.
"Come visit Mr. Slushie Dog!" Ferb recited. "Slushie Dogs will never get any better!"
"Again, WEIRD." Phineas said.
Ferb didn't look terribly offended.
Candace came downstairs, blabbing on the phone. "Ohmygosh, Stacey! No way. No way. I can't believe her new single is out already. I have to go check."
They heard her go into the living room and switch on the TV.
"And now, the new single from Kendrine Adems Clownington! Sing it, Kendrine!"
"Oh, my gosh! Oh oh oh oh my gosh! Oh oh, my gosh! Oh oh oh oh my gosh!"
"CAN'T A GUY EAT IN PEACE?" Perry yowled.
"You got out just in time." Ernest said. "They broke down my door."
"I'm sorry." Perry said. "I had no idea it'd be so… dangerous for you to keep me."
"I'm fine. Where are you now?"
"Home."
"Agent P!"
"Relax, I'm heading to Colorado in an hour. They won't think to look there."
"Be careful." Ernest warned.
"I will." Perry hung up and watched Phineas and Ferb, who were playing their new Zombie Dance 4 game.
Phineas was trying to do the dance steps using only one leg. Perry wasn't sure why, though. Ferb was dancing very strangely.
"FLESH-EATING FERB IS THE WINNER." The game proclaimed.
Phineas stopped dancing. "No fair! My leg fell out right before the end!"
"Well, I lost two eyes and a hipbone." Ferb said.
"You can dance without eyes and a hipbone!"
"Nuh-uh! I couldn't do the Humerus Hula or the Cranium Conga!"
"Well, I couldn't even ATTEMPT the Bony Breakdance!"
"But you did the Tibia Twist, didn't you?" Ferb retorted. "I won fair and square."
Perry burst out laughing.
Both boys turned and stared at him.
"What are you gonna do next?" Perry snickered. "The Muscle Macarena?"
"No, that's not until level ten." Ferb said.