"Mom, can we go on the lift?"
Perry sat in the kitchen chair, obsessively licking his front paws. He could tell the combined snorting and slurping noise was annoying Linda, but what was he supposed to do? Leave them dirty?
"The lift?" Linda repeated, with an annoyed glance at Perry. She turned to face Phineas. "Honey, I'm sorry. Your father and I already have plans for today. And I don't know if Candace would be willing to take you."
"That's all right." Phineas said. "I was just wondering if we could go."
"Alone?" Linda asked.
"Yeah." Phineas said. "With Ferb."
Linda looked from Phineas to Ferb. Then she sighed. "I guess it will be okay. Look after each other. Take your phones."
"Yay!" Phineas said.
"Honey, what happened to you?" Linda asked, noticing Phineas's bandages.
"He crashed into a townhouse." Ferb said.
Linda gave him an odd look, and then went to get their breakfast off the stove.
"Perry, you're gonna get platypus slobber all over the chair." Phineas said.
Perry ignored him and started on the bottom of his left paw.
"I've seen him do that before." Ferb said. "His back feet are next."
"It'd stink to have to lick yourself." Phineas said.
"Cats lick themselves even more than platypuses." Ferb said. "They lick their feet, their tummies, their tails, and even…"
Perry climbed up on the table and sat down in front of Phineas. "So, goin' on the lift, huh?"
"We'll take you with us." Phineas whispered.
Ferb nodded.
"So high." Perry said.
The ski lift was merrily rising into the mountains. They passed a pole with a sign on it.
"PRESTO THE POLAR BEAR SAYS SAFETY FIRST. STAY ALL THE WAY BACK IN YOUR SEAT."
Ferb leaned forward over the bar and spread out his arms. "This way feels like flying."
"But Presto says-" Phineas said.
"It's not Presto's season." Ferb said.
"Imagine if the lift stopped right directly in between the poles." Perry said.
"If it stopped next to a pole, we could escape." Ferb said, pointing at a ladder on one of the poles.
They were silent for a while, watching the flowers and grass pass underneath them.
"Do either of you have dreams that like… come true later? I don't mean those daytime dreams. Night ones." Phineas said.
"I get snippets of the future sometimes." Perry said. "Why?"
"I've been having a recurring dream." Phineas said. "And I don't know how to stop it from happening."
"What was your dream?" Perry asked.
Phineas didn't respond.
"I had a dream last night about a fat chipmunk." Ferb said. "It ate a picnic table."
Phineas laughed. Then he looked down at his shoes. "What if one of my sneakers fell off?"
"You'd have one shoe off and one shoe on." Ferb said.
Phineas and Ferb had been chatting for hours on the couch, drawing up some plans. Perry had no idea what they were planning on making, but it seemed important to them. He managed to catch a few of their words, but their whispers were harder to make out.
"If it's thick, it'll-"
"Yes, but then they'll know he has it on and just-"
"Okay, so make it absorptive. It can swallow it from appearance. Then after it absorbs something it'll make a red… I don't know."
"I know what it's supposed to look like."
"Okay. Wait, what about-" Phineas started whispering.
Perry sat on the coffee table and stared at them blankly. They hadn't noticed him since they'd sat down.
"Red on the lowest surface, that's all that will be visible. After." Ferb said.
"What about smoke?" Phineas asked. "Can it make smoke?"
"You watch too many western movies." Ferb said. "But we might not be able to do smoke. Unless it… unless it can release a kind of vapor."
"Whatcha doin'?" Perry asked.
The boys looked up, startled.
"Nothing." They both said.
"So I'm not allowed to know?" Perry asked.
"We're making you a jacket." Phineas said.
"With red on it and smoke?"
"No, not exactly." Ferb said.
"Why do I need a jacket when I have fur?"
"Fur isn't absorptive." Ferb said.
Phineas kicked him.
"Gosh, Phineas. He was talking." Perry said. "How could you think he was dead?"
"I'll tell you what happens." Ferb said, completely ignoring Perry and turning back to Phineas. "Have you ever seen the movie 'Help Me, I Don't Need You'?"
"No, it's Z-rated. And banned in over seventy planets, including Meap's."
"I'll tell you what it looks like. Ketchup. Lots and lots of ketchup." Ferb said.
Phineas cringed.
"A hole and ketchup." Ferb said, drawing something on the blueprint. He blinked once and turned to Phineas. "There's one thing, though." He started whispering.
Tired of being ignored, Perry jumped down from the table and went over to the fridge.
"Perry, do you know any cats?" Phineas suddenly asked.
Perry gave him an odd look. "Yes, tons. Why?"
"Do you know an orange cat with black stripes and a crooked whisker with a tooth missing?"
Perry thought. "Well, no. I don't think I do. It doesn't ring a bell."
A knock sounded on the door, and three letters slid underneath. Two were addressed to Ferb, one to Perry.
Perry shook his head. "Hey Ferbsy, you got some fan mail."
Ferb came running over. He tore open the first envelope, scanned it, and then went on to the second.
"Who's it from?" Phineas asked.
"The first one is from my uncle. The second one's from my cousin."
"Which one?"
"The second one."
"No, I mean which cousin." Phineas said.
"Beckham." Ferb said.
"Oooohhhhh." Phineas said. "Who's your letter from, Perry?"
"No idea." Perry opened it and read.
So, Perry,
I still have no idea where we stand, rivals or friends, but I don't actually care. My birthday's coming up, and I am having a party up in Colorado because my sister lives there. Convenient, right? Devon told me you were up there. I enclosed the date and directions. So, I'll be seeing you there, right? I know you're on the run and all, but it'd mean a lot if you came. And if you don't know what to get me, don't worry. I take donations for the Save The Pandas foundation. Thanks! Peter.
Perry put the letter back in the envelope. "Peter's having a birthday party."
"Cool!" Phineas said. "Perry, you're gonna love your new jacket we're making you. It's all soft and fuzzy and warm…"
"So, basically it does everything my fur does?" Perry asked.
"And we're gonna make it invisible." Phineas said. "So when it's cold out, you won't look all bulky and covered in coat-mess."
"I hate when it's cold out." Perry grumbled. "The vet told your mom she has to keep my feet warm, so she bought these winter booties for when it snows again."
"Aww!" Phineas said. "I bet those will be cute!"
"They're undignified." Perry said. "They have little polar bears on them."
Phineas looked as though he couldn't imagine anything cuter than polar bear booties. Ferb just looked thoughtful.
Loud barking sounded from outside of the door. "LEAVE! LEAVE! LEAVE! LEAVE!"
"Aw, Bark." Phineas sighed. "He followed Ferb all the way over here?"
Bark was a dog they had encountered when they went rafting that day. Linda and Lawrence had ridden in one raft, Perry and Phineas in another, Candace in her own and Ferb in his own. Bark lived in a little house by the edge of the river. When Phineas and Perry drifted past his territory, Bark had, well, barked. Perry had translated for Phineas: "He's telling us to get out of his territory."
"All in one tone of bark?"
"Well, in dog, what he's saying actually means 'leave', but animals have very limited speech, so you kind of have to elaborate their words in order to translate."
When Ferb had passed by, Bark had jumped into the river, barking, and swam over to Ferb. He jumped on Ferb's raft and barked directly next to him for the whole length of the river. Ferb had then decided to call the dog Bark.
"Tell him to go home." Phineas said, holding his hands over his ears. "His owners must be worried."
Perry went over to the door. "You need to go home." He said to it.
"Leave!" Shouted Bark.
"What if someone else is in your territory?" Perry asked him.
Bark abruptly stopped barking.
"You'd better go guard it." Perry said.
Perry heard the dog patter away.
"He likes you, Ferb." Perry teased.
Ferb smiled a little.
Perry looked inside the envelope again.
"What are you looking for?" Ferb asked.
"I guess it's hopeless." Perry said grouchily. "I wrote to my father weeks ago and he still hasn't responded. I asked my brother if he'd heard from him lately and he said, 'Oh, sure! He wrote back and forth with me like five times!' And one of the AGENTS even wrote to him, asking if he washed a lollipop for long enough, would it melt? He responded to THAT!"
"What did you write him?" Phineas asked.
"I just told him I missed him, asked what was up, you know."
"Maybe the letter got lost." Phineas said.
"Ugh, I don't know. I've checked the post offices. They said it got there. It just makes me mad. I took the time to write that stupid letter and stick it in the mailbox with a stamp and everything and he just decides not to write back."
"Maybe he's busy."
"Sure, so busy that he can write Rocky a response on LOLLIPOP MELTING!" Perry flopped down on the couch and stared crankily up at the ceiling. "At first I was upset he didn't write back. Now I'm just mad. I take the time to…"
Realizing he was repeating himself, he stopped talking.
Phineas gave him a hug.
"Go away." Perry mumbled, although he didn't mean it at all.
"I bet he'll write back." Phineas said.
"And I was worried in the first place. Does he remember how to mail letters? Will I be bothering him if I send him one? Will he write back? NO, Perry. The answer to that is NO."
"Don't worry about it." Phineas said.
"Right. I've got bigger things to worry about."
"We can go to Dangerous Park." Ferb said.
"I love dangerous park!" Phineas said. "I love how the swings hang out over the mountain…"
"You've told me." Perry said. "And we've gone."
"Goodness, you're crabby." Phineas said.
"Fine." Perry said. "Let's go to the park. Maybe I just need some air."
"Air occupies all space, so technically you have some." Ferb said.
"Fresh air." Perry corrected.
"He means air we haven't all breathed in the same vicinity, Ferb." Phineas said.
Ferb shrugged. "How was I supposed to know?"