A/N people, PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO MAKE MY FANFIC BETTER? I am doing this because I have individual and interesting ideas but I don't feel confident enough to write them because of the failures of my first tries. I know I am repeating the same thing but this is the reason I made this fic and it's not working well enough because I need reviews for improvement if this can be a success.
"What the? How did I get here?" Icy asked, looking around the dark room she was in. boiling lava then poured down into the room absolutely petrifying her; causing her to scream so loud that snowflake was going to try to kill Aaron when she saw him next. A piece of the wall opened as the lava drained out of the room, said boy walking in to find Icy still in place, screaming until the lava was gone. "Ugh, can you get any louder? I would've preferred one of your sisters rants." Was Aaron's reply to her screams as he led her to a new room. "You fixed me?" she asked tentatively, hoping she wouldn't, 'what did I not want to do?' Seeing the confused look on her face Aaron concluded that she tried to figure out why she wanted to be fixed in the first place. "Yeah, it took a fair bit of time though I just needed you to become deathly afraid of lava and you were fine." Walking to the intercom Aaron pushed the button "will Duncan and Tessa please come to the door to be escorted by Texas to the rift experimentation lab now." Both heard many people yelling "finally!" And one yelling "NOOOOOOOOO!" 'How the hell are these people so loud?' both thought
A few minutes later
"Well here you are, your new workstation. Here you will find out how Icy can summon snowballs and how this power stays with her after her original body's death." Aaron announced when everyone requested and Icy was in the lab still looking amazed at the extensive research equipment there. "How do we know you won't use this against our friends/loved ones? Tessa asked, not wanting to betray anyone. "Do you want to be in the pit for an hour before listening to Icy's reaction to lava for another 3? Hint: it was the scream you heard ten minutes ago." Tessa and Duncan blanched with Tessa not knowing that the pit is full of lava while Icy looked scared at Aaron knowing what the pit could do but not knowing the damage of listening to her scream for hours on end. "Good, now that we sorted this out. You will be paid a certain rate unless you don't reach a very flexible progress quota; also you will be tasked to design and build a rift adaptation machine if it is possible." Aaron left the room to let them work.
The next day
"Finally, our farm. We can get some better food!" sky yelled, having enough of carrots, already collecting the seeds and a hoe to start sowing them. "Use this wisely, if you run out of resources, you are going to need to pay for new resources" the genderless voice threatens, everyone still not getting over how creepy that voice is. As everyone started working a creeper wandered into the yard. "Creeper, run!" sips yelled while everyone but Texas was bolting to the prison, fearing that their seeds would be destroyed. The creeper saw Texas and started running towards him/her/it in earnest preparing to blow up, much to the prisoners delight. Texas though ran to the creeper and with one punch, bashed the creepers head through its body to rest lower than its legs. 'we get paired up with the most brutal wardens' was the unanimous thought as they stayed as far away from Texas while still being able to start the farm. "Texas, what is happening to my sister" snowflake asked, not being able to stand not knowing where her little sister is. "She is working on discovering the secrets of rift energy" "They're experimenting on her?" snowflakes defensiveness always thinks of the worst possible situation when it comes to her sister. "Only the head warden can reveal that information" was the deadpan statement of Texas "Oh please? My sister is the only person who has ever cared about me." Snowflake lied while laying on as much cuteness as she could. "You cannot sway my decision by your looks" the statement showing them that Texas is either cold-hearted, a girl, or most likely a robot. None of them good for the prisoners.
Later that day
Icy! Where have you been? What have they done to you" snowflake yelled as she crushed her sister in a bear hug and spouting other random questions "Snow, can't breathe" as soon as snow realised that she was choking Icy and let go of her both realised where they were. Their expressions matching everyone else's as they stared at the massive variety of weapons on the opposite wall behind a glass case. "Now Icy, answer my questions." Snowflake snapped Icy out of her stupor "I have been in the rift experimentation lab while Duncan and Tessa discovered why I can summon snowballs." "Duncan! Tessa! You're dead!" this was the first words said people had heard from the outside world and it horrified them immensely "NO! It was not like that, they never needed to do anything like that and I can control snow better now." Icy tried to calm down her sister. Just then Aaron walked in. "DIE!" yelled the charging Snowflake all of her rage showing in her every movement who was then promptly crash – tackled by Texas. "I can never catch a break wit you can I? Well I'll deal with your rant later snowflake then explain what has been happening. Texas, be a little gentler until we get to why they all are here." Aaron walked to the glass case, unlocked it and brought out two oversized chakram with handholds winding their way through the centre of the chakra like it was made to be held different ways. "You will all start fighting each other because you suck at monster hunting. So to prove how much you suck, we will have a battle royale. You all against me, also Texas will sit out on this fight." Everyone all started getting weapons. Ssundee and sky grabbed swords while Icy grabbed a scythe and snowflake grabbed a few kunai, Mia grabbed a dagger and Jerome grabbed a massive Warhammer. When the platform for their battle was raised Texas announced "Let the battle begin" Texas announced as Aaron got into his battle position, slightly spinning his chakram. He was charged by skydoesminecraft first who swung at him horizontally but was blocked by Aaron's first chakram and had his throat cut by the other. "Well that was easy." Ssundee charged in next for a more direct stab but was disarmed and had a chakram shoved in his chest he then swung his other chakram around to disarm Mia while dislodging his first to cut her throat as well. Jerome then charged in, wielding the Warhammer as if he was a natural (since the government only wanted the public to know about swords and bows) causing Aaron to constantly dodge, parry but not have time for a riposte. This went for some time but Jerome was slowing down and Aaron finally got time to cut the throat of Jerome sending him down a couple of seconds later. "Wow Jerome doesn't need as much skill as the rest of you with that kind of strength." Icy was then upon him, swinging her scythe so that he couldn't get in beyond her range while snowflake was throwing kunai to stop Aaron from trying a fancy disarming manoeuver. As they fought every time Aaron's and Icy's weapons collided, Aarons weapon got a little colder so as a desperate move Aaron threw his chakram at snowflake and as her scream of death reached Icy she hesitated, giving Aaron enough time to come up and kill Icy. "Well there you have it, I killed you all with a weapon I haven't used before and I am younger than most of you, you will need to train to be good enough to fight the monsters in the rift lands which are far harder than the monsters you have been facing." When the platform reached ground level Aaron walked out of the room to let Texas train the prisoners.
That night
"Surprise to see you up at this hour" Tex admitted with her natural voice walking in on Aaron facing holo-enemies with his dual chakram drenched with sweat. "Have you been training ever since you left?" "Approximately 6 hours straight." Aaron shut the holographic training ground down, placing his chakram on the stand and sitting on the bench, Tex sat down beside him and took her helmet off "I am amazed at how you can be so naturally fit and skilled like that." "Heh, I'm individual." Aaron was downing a couple of bottles of water. "So what do you think of the government? You get more on them than I do and I want your opinion." "Well what do you think about them?" "I find that they are manipulative and have an agenda that will most likely be detrimental to everyone." "Finally, you figured it out. Yes, the government are power hungry dictators, who when they found the rift, they used most of their resources to find its secrets essentially opening their eyes to everywhere. They will not stop until they have found a way to become gods and rule everything with a tyrannical fist." Aarons rant was cut short by a maintenance drone which rolled in to the room to clean the chakram. "Well then, what are you going to do about it? Asked Tex, gauging the intelligence of the boy she served under. "Connect the dots Tex, This prison is very unique in its design and its way of keeping the prisoners." Tex sat there thinking for a few minutes before her eyes widened in realisation "You're turning this prison into a fortress!" Aaron nodded, said goodnight to Tex and left to go to sleep.
A/N this idea might be scrapped in the long run and be brought back to comedy if I can't write this well. So tell me what you think about the new plot twist and tell me if you figured out where this was going.