That night I dream about kissing Sansa. Sometime I think like it, and hold her gently in my arms and sometimes I would open my eyes and it would be Renly pressed against my lips. I woke with a start to a sharp poke in my side. Jaime glared down at me from above, holding a pencil in his hand and poking at my ribs.
"Ugh, stop, what are you doing," I batted him off, scrambling to my feet and watching the homework that was been on my stomach crash to the ground. I picked it up quickly, my eyes fuzzy from sleeping.
"You were drooling," Jaime said, using the pencil he had mauled my side with to pick the dirt out from underneath his finger nails. I snatched the pencil back, rubbing it off on my tee-shirt.
"I don't drool."
"How would you know? You're always sleeping when you do it," Jaime migrated back to his side of the room. I flashed back to junior year when Viserys had threatened to paint a line down the center of our room if I stepped on 'his side' again. Jaime had no sense of boundaries and to make it worse he wanted your side as clean as his. I looked at the alarm clock that sat on my bed side table.
"You woke me up like an hour before I need to be anywhere!" I snapped at him. Most kids got up at this time and ate breakfast, but I chose instead to smuggle a large amount of granola bars into Jamie and I's room and eat one or two or those for breakfast if I got to sleep an hour later.
"You're phones been ringing from the calls. You're ringtone is so annoying I had no choice," Jaime said, the slightest sign of a smirk forming in the corner of his lips. I knew he knew my passcode from the times he had broken into my phone. The beard he was growing was getting longer. At first I had thought it looked good, but now I was pretty sure I wasn't a fan of facial hair, but that could have been because I was pissed at Jaime.
I snatched up my phone angrily, unlocking it and staring at the missed calls from Margery. I groaned a bit, she must have thought I was still mad at her. While I do admit I was still a little annoyed, she was my sister, and I wasn't about to let something stupid like prom come between us.
Be in the cafe in five. I texted her quickly. I didn't like phone calls, let alone phone calls with a worried Margery. Sending Jaime one last how-dare-you-wake-me-up-early glare I changed into what I was planning on going to conditioning first period in and headed off to the dining hall. Margery must have not gotten my text or was too busy doing last minuet homework because she wasn't there when I showed up. Taking my normal place at our table I huffed. Now I was going to look like a loner. That was until I felt the heat of Renly's body sit down next to mine. He slung an arm around my shoulder, chewing nosily in my ear for a moment. I tried to hide the will I had to lean closer to him and hope he would place a little kiss on my neck.
Thou shalt not wish for thou's best friend to kiss thou's neck.
"So, Loras Tyrell and Sansa Stark huh?" I moved away from him, pushing his arm off my shoulder and spinning to look at him.
"How did you-"
"Robb told me," He grinned, hitting my shoulder, "Nice play yesterday, that kick would have been great if the field was another hundred meter long," I groaned and glared at him.
"Thanks," I murmured. Renly offered me a bite of the egg sandwich he had held between his fingers. I declined.
"But seriously, Sansa? She doesn't seem like you're type." Renly said, taking with his mouth open. Bless his mother's soul for even trying to teach him table manners.
"I don't know, she's alright," I shrugged my shoulders. Renly nodded.
"Sansa's pretty hot I guess…" Renly drifted off. I cringed from the words. Renly was straighter then an arrow. I managed to nod in an answer. "But geez, I wouldn't risk it with Robb being her older brother and all…"
"We're just going as friends," I snapped quickly, heat rising to my cheeks. Renly quirked an eyebrow at me.
"Right…"Renly drifted off into silence and we sat there for a moment, me being uncomfortable about our knees touching under the table and Renly watching the kids that walked by. Once he had finished his sandwich and had sucked the bacon grease off of his fingers (while bacon grease was gross Renly's fingers in his mouth were far from that) he stood and pulled me with him.
Thou shalt not find anything about thou's best friend hot.
I scolded myself a bit; I was going against my whole plan to deal with Renly. Renly motioned for me to walk with him and I followed, hoping I didn't look too much like a lost puppy. We talked about how coach had mentioned that he might start Renly in the next game as the right striker instead of Jorah. This piped my interest slightly. Coach always started us the same. From left to right, top to bottom it was always like this; Jon, Robb, Jorah as our strikers, Genry and Rakharo as midfielders, me and Stannis as defense and Jaime in goal. Renly and Theon were our two subs. I know coach kept them from starting positions because they were juniors but also because both could really play any position if necessary.
But to knock Jorah out of his starting position for the last game of his senior year, that was just cruel. I bit my lip to stop myself from pointing out that coach was probably just joking with Renly and he had taken it too seriously. I didn't want to shatter Renly's hopes right now.
"But hey, Margery says her dress is light blue, and she wants me to match," It was baby blue actually, but I didn't say that. Renly kept talking, "And I know you helped her pick it out so you think maybe tomorrow we could head into town and you could help me find something that might look good." I perked up at this. Renly had gotten a car for his seventeenth birthday about a month ago, and we hadn't had very many chances to drive it places.
"Yeah, that sounds great. I'll figure out what Sansa's plan is." I said, smiling over at Renly. He nodded confidently as we walked into the locker rooms. I checked my phone for the time before slipping it into my backpack and stuffing it into my locker. After Renly had struggled to lace up his cleats ("If I think about tying shoes I can't do it, y'know!" He had said in his defense.) We jogged out onto the field, perfectly on time for conditioning.
Coach made us play the card game for the first half an hour of the period, which I personally thought was anything but a game. He would hold out a deck of card and you had to pick one when it was your turn. Whatever card you pick corresponded to a certain exercise that the whole team then had to do. Over the course of the season we had figured out that an eight corresponded to jumping jacks, which we had all decided was the easiest out of all of them. So whenever you had to pick a card, Theon would crouch down and point out which one was an eight so all we ever did was jumping jacks. Genry blew it one day though when Theon, in the process of pointing out a card, had made a rather lewd gesture as Robb which only cause Genry to burst out laughing. Coach had spun around and chewed Theon out for that for a while about it.
So now, whenever we did this, coach would make sure no one was cheating. And in punishment for our little hoax he had made the exercises harder. We hit a bad string in conditioning that morning when Robb, Theon, Jon and Jamie had all picked the plank for four minute option right in a row. When Jaime had visible almost collapsed when he picked the card I was pretty sure coach was doing it on purpose and all he had in that deck was jacks. None the less I collapsed onto the ground between Jamie and Renly and had forced myself through it, even if it felt life my chest muscle were about to rip. As we all clamored to our feet and coach walked toward me I clenched my teeth. No way was I picking a jack.
"I swear to all the gods in the world, Loras, if you pick a jack I'm going to choke myself on grass to get out of this," Renly growled besides me, bent in half and breathing hard. Genry moaned in agreement from across the circle. Carefully I eyed the cards, willing all of my psychic ability to come to me in this moment. Picking the one second to the left I winced slightly as I turned it over.
"It's an eight," I said. Robb whooped.
"I fucking love jumping jacks!" Someone screamed. I wasn't sure who, but coach was really to yell at them for swearing on his field. Conditioning went well from there. The rest of us didn't pick any more jacks, my abdominal muscles thanked them for that, and we continued on to our next class. In chem I sat between Margery and Sansa, willing the latter girl to move up and sit with us towards the front of the class. Margery passed Sansa notes across my lap and winked whenever Sansa had to touch my thigh to retrieve it.
I didn't get the same feeling that I had when Renly had touched my back, and she was touching my thigh. I whispered to Margery about how Renly had said her dress was light blue and she told me I'd better correct him. She did not want them to not have the right shades as each other at prom. Sansa let me know that she was going to go buy a dress tonight and that she would text me what the colors were before tomorrow morning.
In third period I had statics, and I didn't have anyone who I was really close to in the class. So I sat with Genry and we didn't talk. My teachers mumbling about math almost put me to sleep. I think I would have fallen asleep if my pocket hadn't buzzed with an incoming text message.
Why didn't you tell me the dress was baby blue! Now I sound like a color blind idiot. I mean there is just so much of a difference between baby blue and light blue. I read the text message in Renly's voice and could practically hear the sarcasm. I smiled quietly to myself. I could imagine his lopsided grin as he said the words, and I could feel the desire to grab him by his shirt and kiss that grin into a smile, but I shook myself out of it. Thou shalt not want to kiss thou's best friend.
I thought about for a moment about how I should write all of my thou shalt not's down into a book and publish it under the category of gay help books. That thought made me smile again and I was pretty sure Genry thought I was crazy with all the smiling I was doing.
After statics I had lunch. I had never noticed that Sansa didn't have any friends in her lunch period, Margery and Daenerys had B lunch, not A lunch. So I made her sit with Renly and I. She thought Renly was funny and we told her about how Renly had copied her salad making skills two days ago. Sansa had to cover her mouth to keep from laughing to loudly when Renly told her the story.
"I'll be right back," Renly said, sending a smile at me that sent shivers down my spine as he walked away. I watch him walk away, his uniform pants hanging low on his hips and the pockets hugging his backside just right. I imagine slipping my fingers into his pockets.
No. No. No.
I repeated my thou shalt not's over and over in my head as Sansa pushed her salad around her plate. This seriously needed to stop. Renly was straight, he was taking my very own sister to prom, and a crush was really not in order right now. Besides, everyone knew best friend crushes never work out. Someone always gets hurt, and I had a stirring feeling in my stomach that I would be the one getting hurt in this story. I needed to have crush on anyone else, Robb had a nice ass, but his stuck up personality got to me sometimes. Jamie's beard cut him out, but he could always shave it. Maybe Jon, every girl in the school had had a crush on him at some point in time.
Anyone besides Renly Baratheon.
When I walked into last period, AP English, Margery, Sansa and Daenerys had their heads bent together and where giggling about something. There was only one other guy in AP English beside me, so I felt pretty isolated. Taking my normal seat besides Margery they all suddenly quieted down and stared. I looked back.
"What is there a leaf in my teeth or something?" I raised my hand up to my mouth to feel my teeth for anything when Margery laughed.
"No, you're fine, we were just…" She stalled for a second. Daenerys turned back to face the front of the class room and Sansa looked away from me. "We were just talking!" Margery finished quickly. I knew that look on her face; her face was red on one side from where she had held her cheek in her hand when she leaned on it, and there was a hint of a left over coy smile. She had been gossiping.
"Spill," I said forcefully, shifting closer to her. Margery batted me away.
"No! It's just silly stuff," She said quickly, trying to brush me off. I quirked an eyebrow at her, "Just uh, Jorah was totally hitting on Daenerys earlier," Margery quickly said. I scoffed.
"Please, everyone knows that, and I know that look on your face, you were dishing out some serious gossip," I pushed at her. Margery could never refuse good gossip, and if there was anything she liked more than hearing gossip, it was spreading it.
"Seriously Loras it was nothing," She said, suddenly growing serious. I shrugged and gave up, but my mind raced. Margery always told me this kind of stuff, unless she was saying something about me. I dismissed that idea; there was no way she was talking about me. I remembered suddenly that I had basically confessed my secret to Sansa yesterday, who was sitting next to me drawing flowers in the margin of her notebook. Paranoia hit, what if Sansa had told them, there was no way she would do that. Still the possibilities rushed by, maybe she had told Robb and it had linked its way around to Margery and Daenerys. I had hoped deep down that if I ever did come out of the closet to Margery she would have been to supportive, and it stung to think she might not be.
After class I snagged Sansa's arm, and pulled her outside. She narrowed his eyes, looking up at me, rubbing her arm where I had grabbed her.
"What got under your skin-"
"You told them!" I accused her, glancing around to see if anyone was near us to bear witness to our talk. There were a few freshman girls across the yard.
"What?" Sansa's eyebrows creased together in the middle of her forehead, staring up at me with a look of utter confusion.
"You told them what I said yesterday!" I whispered in a harsh tone, motioning my head towards the girls across the yard and hoping Sansa got the memo to keep our conversation quiet. She still look confused waving her hands around to demonstrate that she had no idea what I was talking about. I almost told her to forget it, if she had forgotten that I said that I don't like kissing girls then that was more than fine. But I wanted to know if she had told Margery and Daenerys. "You told them that I don't like kissing girls,"
"What! No!" Sansa exclaimed, "Loras I would never do that!" I paused. I wanted to believe her that she didn't tell them, but deep down I still had the suspicion that she did.
"Then why wouldn't Margery tell me what you guys were talking about, she always tells me," I figured that piece of evidence would break her and she would collapse crying for my forgiveness. Sansa sighed, looking to the side.
"We were talking about Renly that's why," She confessed, "Margery didn't want to talk crap about Renly in front of you, because well, y'know," Sansa gestured to me. I narrowed my eyes.
"Y'know what?" I inquired.
"You guys are just so close, she thought it would have offended you," Sansa finished. For a moment I thought about pressuring her to tell me what they had been saying about Renly but then I decided it was better left unsaid. I didn't want anything to link around to Renly that I had been talking about him behind his back.
"Okay, okay," I drifted off, stepping back from Sansa a bit and trying to calm my voice down. I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed. I thought about apologizing but decided not to. Sansa crossed her arms as if she expected an apology, I kept my lips shut. We stood there for a moment in awkward silence before I caved. "Fine, fine I'm sorry," I murmured, almost so quiet it was barely there. Sansa smiled at me.
"You're not that bad Loras," She finally said. "But I bet a lot of people would like you a lot more if you just came out," I shook my head and chose not to respond, waving goodbye to her as I walked away, my mind racing.
Nothing cleared my mind better then accidently hitting Jon Snow square in the jaw with a misplaced kick at practice. It spooked me that the ball had even gone that way, considering Jamie, Theon, Stannis and I had been sent off on our own to do some defense training. We were working on Jaime's bad side, his right, but obviously because I was a defender, my aim was not always spot on. I aimed for the top right corner of the net but it had flow past it right into Jon's unsuspecting jaw. I rushed over hurriedly, Jamie on my heels.
"Fuck, sorry I didn't mean that at all," I said hurriedly as I reached him. Jon was holding his lip, and for a second I thought he was going to yell at me before he shrugged it off.
"It was a good kick you just aimed wrong, its fine." Jon said. Still his lip was bleeding and the side of his jaw was swelling a bit so with coach's permission Jaime and I walked him to the nurse. All the way there I had murmured apologizes and felt worse and worse about it. On the walk back, Jon now equipped with an ice pack against his jaw, we had to pass the football field. Our football team was one of the worst ones in the state and as we walked by all of them where bunched up in a little pack. Gregor Clegane's head stood clearly about all of them and I watched as his eyes noticed us. Jaime tensed a little bit beside me. Gregor always make me nervous, but I had never seen Jaime show the slightest sign of fear for him.
Gregor broke from the group, flanked by a few of the other football goons as they approached us. Jaime stopped, I shot Jon a slight look of worry we stood a few feet from him, watching. Jaime's finger's curled into a fist, and I guess Jon must have figured out what was going on because he shouted and dropped his ice pack as someone threw a punch. I still had no idea what was the cause of it but I saw Gregor's monstrous fist wind up for an uppercut right to Jaime's jaw and I dove forward, Jon was my heels trying to push them away from each other. I managed to get my way between Gregor and Jaime and pushed my roommate backwards. Unfortunately for me that I meant I was on the receiving end for the punch.
It was so forceful and straight to the side of my face I swore I saw stars. I stumbled backward, tripping over Jaime's foot and landing smack on my ass. Gregor must have realized he hit the wrong person because he grunted something to his friends and jogged back to the field. I moaned, raising a hand to my face. I felt something wet, but my vision was so blurry I couldn't see what it was. Jaime kneeled down I front of me.
"What the hell where you thinking!" Jaime was pressing a hand to my face and I jerked away quickly because it hurt like hell. Jon scrambled to get a good look at me before he handed off his ice pack to Jamie. "Go get the others," Jaime commanded. Jon nodded before sprinting off back towards our field. Jamie took the bottom of my shirt, pulling it up so he could wipe off what I assumed was blood. Figures he would be too neat to use his own shirt. "Hey, what's your name?" He questioned. I scrunched my eyebrows together in the middle of my forehead, confused as to why he was asking
"Loras Tyrell," I slurred a little, reaching up with my own hand to feel my face. Jaime grinned at me.
"Good, I didn't want my only good defender out of the last game with a concussion he got defending me," Jaime forced a little chuckle, but I could tell he found this whole situation anything but funny. I didn't laugh with him. "Your nose is bleeding, that's where the blood is coming," Jaime informed me, pressing the ice pack into my hand and bringing it up to press against my eye. I groaned a bit. "Hopefully he didn't break your nose, it's your one redeeming quality," Jamie was trying to joke with me but I wasn't really up for it. I heard the pounding of the other's feet before they reached us and felt Renly's hand on my cheek, tilting my hand from side to side and pushing Jaime aside. Jaime stood and coach grabbed him by his shoulder. I watched Jaime get led away by coach, feeling anger boil in my stomach. He didn't even say he was sorry.
Even in my broken nose half concussed state heat still rushed through my body at Renly's touch, only now I was too dazed to scold my body for reacting. Renly helped me to my feet and slung my arm around his shoulder to support me, his arm wrapping around my waist and pulling me close to him. Searing heat still raced through my veins as we half walked, half limped our way back to the nurse's office. Once there Renly helped me up onto the table and stood beside me, supporting my back. The nurse decided that my nose was indeed broken and she set it back in place. I gritted my teeth and instead of crying out in pain from it I held Renly's forearm tightly and squeezed as she set it. Renly was saying something to me, but I wasn't sure what, as he rubbed quiet little circles in the middle of my back.
I still don't remember much from it, because I was indeed the victim of a slight concussion for Jaime's protection. But I remember Renly standing in front of me and wiping the dried blood from my face, trying to get me to tell him what had happened but I was to dazed from the concussion and from Renly's touch that I don't think he got much out of me. Once it was all said and down and Renly walked me back to Jamie and I's room and when we found that Jaime wasn't there he sat on the floor and told me jokes as I tried to sleep. He stole my granola bars from where I hid them under my bed and I had mumbled for him not to but he did anyways. Renly stayed on the floor till I fell asleep.
There as one thing I could conclude about Renly, and that was that even if he wasn't ever going to care about me the way I cared about him he still did care about me. And when I woke up to find Renly Baratheon asleep on my floor because he hadn't wanted to leave me alone with a concussion I was pretty sure that I had fallen in love with him.