I met Renly at six in the morning the next day. He was running late, or I was early. I checked my phone once more as I leaned against his car, my face getting warmed by the rising sun. Groaning as I could see that Renly was almost ten minutes late I stared down towards the dorms, shielding my eyes from the sun.
"Here, you'll need these," I spooked as a voice sounded from behind me. Hands slipped in front of my face to place sunglasses on my nose. Because I hadn't known who was behind me the sunglasses fell from my face and clattered to the ground as I whipped around to look at them. Renly grinned ear from ear at me, looking at me over the top of his aviator sunglasses. I clamped a hand over my heart.
"You scared me, you have got to stop sneaking up on me like that," I said as I reached down to pick up the sunglasses. They were red and I turned them over in my hand. Renly tossed me the keys which I caught with my spare hand.
"They reminded me of you, so I got them for you," Renly grinned, tossing my backpack which was on the ground next to the tire and his own into the car. "And I figured because you would be driving right into the rising sun they would be useful for you," He added, closing the trunk and wrapping around to the passenger seat. I slid into the driver's seat, moving the seat back again like I always had to when I drove Renly's car and waited for Renly to get all sorted before pulling out of the school.
I'm not going to lie, I was nervous for this weekend with Renly. With all the mixed signals I had been receiving I wasn't sure how I should go about being with Renly. So far, we had managed to just pretend the locker room incident never happened. Or at least, he hadn't brought it up, so I assumed we were just ignoring it. Renly made me stop at a coffee shop and ran inside to grab us both a coffee, I liked mine with just cream while Renly piled sugar and cream into his. When he got back with them he tricked me into taking a sip of his which I almost spit out because of how sweet it was.
"God, do you even have taste buds?" I muttered, shaking my head at how the sugar that stuck to my throat. Renly laughed at me and took his coffee back, drinking it happily.
"Better taste buds then you, buddy. You're the weirdo who doesn't like peanut butter," He remarked, plugging his phone into the car and scrolling for a song to play.
"It's gross, trust me, if you had a finer sense of taste you would understand," I said, slipping the red sunglasses back onto my face and getting back onto the high way and into the blinding sun. "You are the one who likes that crap box wine," I muttered. It was true. When Renly stayed with us for the weekend a few months back we had broken into my parent's wine with Margaery at our heels. He had been all over the box wine, while I had sneered at it and gone for something nicer.
"Hey, you're not giving it enough credit," Renly stated, picking a song to play.
"It doesn't deserve credit!" My voice was lost as Renly turned the song up. Jokingly he cupped an ear with his hand as if he couldn't hear me before beginning to sing the song, making dance moves at me as he did so. I rolled my eyes and kept my gaze on the road, trying to ignore how the bass in Renly's car shook the whole thing.
Two hours and a stop at the grocery store to pick up food for our weekend later we found ourselves at the condo. Renly whipped the key out of his pocket while I balanced the bags we had on my arms, having refused to take two trips from the car and back. He struggled with the lock for a second; it often got stuck, before pushing the door open and stumbling in. The condo was set up pretty basically, small bathroom off of an open concept kitchen and living room with a fire place. A spiral staircase sat in the corner which led up to the one bedroom. Luckily the couch had a pull out bed so I wouldn't have to deal with sleeping next to Renly.
Renly took a few bags from my hand, setting them down on the kitchen counter. I had been here once or twice, but that had been with all three of the Baratheon boys, so the place seemed a lot calmer without Robert's constant howling. Renly went about putting the food that needed to be kept cold away while I admired the condo. The thing I had decided that I liked the most about it was that even if it was small, it was adorned with expensive items, making it feel much bigger. It was full of bamboo flooring and granite countertops and beautiful paintings. It struck me how I had always failed to notice these things the time I was here before. I realized with a start that Renly and I had never been here by ourselves. I turned to look at him once he finished the fridge.
"How exactly did you get your parents to agree to this?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow. Renly ran a hand through his hair, like he always did when he was sheepish about something. He made the same motion when he told me that he was taking Margaery to prom. That felt like such a long time ago, even if had only been about two weeks. So much had happened.
"Well, uh, you see they didn't," Renly shrugged, moving around the island in the kitchen to the couch, falling on it. I crossed my arms.
"What do you mean they didn't?"
"I told them I was staying at the school for the weekend and just stole the key out of Stannis' bag," Renly admitted, his head falling onto on the pillows as he looked up at the ceiling. I moved closer so I could look down at him.
"I can now see why they give Stannis the key and not you," I stated, picking the dirt out from underneath my finger nails. Renly sat up suddenly, swinging his legs off the couch so they were on either side of me. He grinned that lopsided grin up at me.
"Are you saying I'm irresponsible?" Renly joked. I looked down at him, eyeing how well he looked at eye level with my hips. He was at the perfect level to just lean forward and do what I sometimes dreamed of him doing. I snapped myself out of the fantasy, feeling the heat pool in my stomach. I began to take a step back before it really settled into my brain.
Renly and I where all alone, for the whole weekend. No one that we knew was around; anything could happen if we were willing to keep it between the two of us. No Jaime Lannister to storm into the locker room and no Robb Stark to tackle me into the ground when I was savoring Renly's touch. And I knew Renly, if he wasn't into something, he would back out. Instead of backing away like I normal did when Renly and I got this close I held my ground, savoring the image I had of him. No one would ever know. It was perfect for me.
"You're more than irresponsible," I chuckled, trying to stop myself from shaking as Renly held his ground too. I swear in that grin I could see that he knew we were playing at something. "You're downright childish," I muttered. Renly shrugged before slowing standing up. With less than an inch between us I imaged just leaning up and kissing him. No one would ever have to know, it could be out dirty little secret.
After a second or two I backed down and moved away, scolding myself. Renly was straight. And no matter how many fantasies I had about him it wasn't going to change that. My own brain was tricking itself into believing that Renly was gay when obviously he was anything but that. But still, no one was around. If Renly was going to play this game he had been playing for the last week in the next three days, I wasn't going to back down.
"Well, c'mon, this child wants to go for a hike," He said, stepping around me. I fished out my good sneakers from my bag and Renly found a spare backpack in the closet upstairs that we stuffed a few water bottles and sweatshirts into before setting out to hike the mountain. The condo was on the side of it, about a fifth of the way up it, and Renly knew the trails like the back of his hand. He showed me one that gave us a beautiful view of the area and he pointed out roughly where the school was and pointed to where my hometown should be. The downside of the nice view was we had to walk through some tall grass.
We made our way back down the peak and to a nearby dive bar for lunch. I ate the first hamburger I had in almost four mouths, dripping with grease and totally wonderful in a disgusting way. Renly stole the fries off my plate once he had finished his; because there was no way I was going to be able to eat those too. We laughed about it on the walk back home.
"How do you even eat so much?" I laughed, looking over at him. He shrugged, but I could see his smile from where I was.
"I need the carbs so I can grow some big strong muscles," Renly joked, flexing his bicep.
"Yeah, right, just wait till all those carbs decide that you would look ridiculous with big strong muscles and turn into fat instead," I said, reaching out to pinch the little bit of fat that hung on his sides. Renly wasn't that dedicated to working out, so while he was not extremely defined in muscles, they were still there. Just covered with a small layer of fat. He swatted me off of him.
"Whoa, that really hurts," He drawled sarcastically as we reached the condo. I decided that I would have my go at the sometimes sticky lock on the door and Renly let me. Renly stood behind me as I struggled and watched. Once I had the door open Renly shut it behind us. "Hate to break this to you, but I can see a tick on the back of your thigh," Renly said. I grimaced
"I hate those things can you get it off?" I asked. Renly nodded before motioning for me to come into the bathroom. He made me face the mirror as he knelt down and lifted the bottom of my shorts up a bit to reach at the tick. I passed my mind for a second at how Renly must have been looking at my legs to notice a tick on them. I could see the blush spread into my cheeks because I was being forced to stare at myself as Renly pulled a tick off my leg. Renly was muttering as he pulled at it and I winced at bit, clenching my teeth. It wasn't the pain of him pulling it off it was more of the general thought of a tick on my leg that made me nervous. Renly swore and placed the tick on a tissue he had placed nearby.
"Sorry, buddy, but the head got stuck," He stood, reaching around me to grab at the cabinet by the sink. Renly pulled out a pair of tweezers and we made eye contact in the mirror. He watched me, half pressed up against my back and I saw that look in his eye that he always gave to Margaery.
Lust.
I gulped and tore my eyes from his and he went back to work at pulling the head of tick from the back of my thigh. There was no way Renly had been giving me that look, he always gave that to Margaery, but I knew that it was a truth. I wasn't sure what to think about it
"There, got it!" Renly proclaimed, holding up the small black head of the tick as proof.
"Alright great now can we flush it away to a watery grave." I muttered. Renly laughed.
"It's already death, I kind of decapitated it, but a watery gave sounds nice," He went about sending the tick to a watery grave and I searched for a band aid, feeling the bite mark on my thigh. Renly skimmed his fingers over it which shocked me. "It's not too bad," He said, his hand touching the bite before skimming up the side of my legs. Renly flashed me a grin before leaving the room. Once had had shut the door behind him I collapsed against the sink. Everything that he was doing was messing with my head, I had no idea what he wanted, and I wasn't about to go ask him. After I had put the band aid over the bite and checked to make sure my face wasn't too flustered looking I returned to the main room.
We spent the next few hours helping each other with different pieces of homework; Renly was better at Science and History, while I was better at English and Math. So whenever one of us struggled with something normally the other could help. Renly explained most of the Roman history to me so I would have a chance of not failing my ancient civilizations final and I showed him how to graph logarithmic. We had always worked well together.
Afterward Renly made a box of the premade mac and cheese and we both ate that for dinner on the coach, while Renly brought up a game of soccer on the TV. I didn't really know the teams that were playing at well but we still got excited over it. Renly flung his fork to the side when the team we wanted to win scored a goal and got a few pieces of macaroni on my chest. I had laughed and thrown them back at him. Eventually I found an old horror movie in the upstairs closet and we sat down to watch that.
I don't remember much of the movie because about a half an hour into it I had jumped in surprise from the image playing on screen and grabbed Renly's forearm. He chuckled.
"What scared of a little blood?" He mocked, I glared at him.
"Uh, excuse me, you're the one who doesn't like blood," I muttered, looking back to the screen and pulling my arm back, embarrassed about it. Renly's hand suddenly grabbed mine, interlocking our fingers.
"Don't." Renly murmured, looking at my eyes. I choked on my own breath. It was like the locker room all over again. With the touching and the 'don't'. I narrowed my eyes at him, our eyes caught in a stare. I looked down at our hands for a moment before back to him and pulling my hand away.
"Don't what?" I said, almost too quietly. I knew what he meant; he wanted to hold my hand. Renly Baratheon wanted to hold my hand. He wanted to touch my hip. He wanted to kiss me. Renly watched me, silent and serious, and I blinked lazily back him. My heart was thundering in my chest but I tried to play it off like I did this all the time. Renly opened his mouth before snapping it shut, looking like a gaping fish. I watched his Adam's apple bob up and down in his throat as he swallowed. I realized in that moment that he was as nervous as I was.
"Just. Don't." Renly whispered, reaching over to take my hand back, only to use it to pull me closer to him. I tried to ignore the heat searing through my veins as he pulled me up to his side and placed a gentle arm around my shoulders, his fingers skimming my side. My hand dropped to his thigh and I took a shuttering breath, looking everywhere but Renly. "Don't ask questions," Renly whispered to me, placing his face in my hair and breathing deeply. "Just go with it," He added, almost to quiet.
Anger stirred a bit in my stomach and I tried to force it away but it only bubbled more. I couldn't just ignore something like this. Renly shouldn't be able to play this game with me. Taking my sister to prom and then flirting so openly with me a week later. I clenched my jaw, suddenly the lovely feeling of Renly's arm around me disappearing. I shouldered his arm off of me and scooted away on the coach, crossing my arms to look at him.
"I can't just not ask questions!" I snapped. Renly looked at me, his eyebrows furrowed in the middle of his forehead as if he could not believe I was talking. "There is no way I could just go with it. I have no idea what is going on in that brain of yours!" I said angrily, "I don't know who, or what, you want! Or what game you have been playing with me for the last few weeks!" I growled. Renly huffed, looking at his feet. He was so close and I could tell he knew everything. Everything I had never wanted to tell him, everything I had been too scared to tell him. He had figured everything out on his own.
"I'm not playing a game," Renly said, looking back to me, looking like he was a lot older then he was. I ran my hands through my hair, pushing it away from my face.
"Yes you are,"
"No, Loras," He moved closer to me and I stood my ground, "I'm not. This is serious, I know about you, hell I've known since I met you! Since Margaery told me!" His hand fell onto my knee, rubbing small circles into the skin,
"I don't, Margaery doesn't know-"
"Loras," Renly cut me off suddenly, "Everyone knows," God he was just like Sansa. I pushed his hand off my knee, standing up and looking down at him. Renly watched my movements, looking worried all of the sudden.
"No, everyone doesn't know," I snapped, moving away from the coach to the fridge and grabbing a water bottle. I could hear the scuffle of Renly's socks as he followed me.
"Yes they do!" He exclaimed from behind me. I crunched the water bottle between my fingers. I had hid it so well. I wore normal clothing, I was a star athlete. I didn't abide to any of the stereotypes. I was sure I had disguised myself perfectly. Yet Renly was still going on behind me about how he has always known, how everyone has always known. I gripped the edge of the counter beside me. How could something so personal be so public? Without me even knowing. Renly slowed to a stop in his rant behind me. He fell silent as I turned to look at him, his face falling into a caring form.
"You can't know," I said suddenly. "You were never supposed to find out any of this!" I exclaimed angrily. Renly stuffed his hands into his pockets and we fell back into silence. We stood there for a few moments before he scooped his keys off of the counter.
"C'mon." He started for the door and I stared after him, completely lost.
"Wher-"
"Just come on!" Renly snapped, shouldering open the front door once he had shoes on. I struggled to lace up my sneakers as he led us off down a path.
"Renly it's like midnight someone one is going to kill us," I muttered, jogging to keep up with him. The night air was colder than I expected and I rubbed at my bare arms. Renly didn't answer me, just kept up his brisk pace. Through the trees I could see the flashes of reflected light against the lake. "You're taking me to the lake, this is no time for a midnight swim, Renly!" I snapped at him as the trees cleared away. He jumped up onto the dock that had Baratheon written in big letters across the bottom. Each one of the condos got their own dock to keep a boat at down in this bay. He reached the end, untying the whips to the jet ski that bobbed up and down on the water. "You're crazy. Seriously I'm not up for a cold jet ski ride right now!" Renly still wasn't answering me as he jumped onto the jet ski and patted the seat behind him.
I glanced around, it was pitch dark expect for the moonlight illuminating the lake. The woods looked darker than I thought they should be and reluctantly I got on behind Renly, untying a rope for him. He pushed us off; we didn't even have lifejackets I realized with a start, and started off towards the middle of the lake. Suddenly he gunned the gas and I grabbed onto the back of his shirt to keep myself form falling. He raced us off through the dead still water and just when I was starting to get comfortable he twisted the handlebars quickly to the right. I realized what he was doing when it was too late and he tipped the jet skin cleanly right into the lake.
It was cold and I swore once I broke the surface, treading water. Renly appeared about a foot away from me and the jet skin floated mindlessly upside down beside us.
"What the fuck is wrong with you!" I yelled, "You tipped it over on purpose!"
"Yeah, I did, because you needed to wake the hell up!" He snapped, glaring at me. I scoffed, shaking water away from my face. "Cold water seemed like a good bet to get the job done!"
"I need to wake you!? You're the one that just tipped the jet ski over on purpose at midnight when we didn't have life jackets on!" I was screaming at him now, completely annoyed and feeling like I could punch him and I wouldn't feel bad about at all.
"You're gay!" Renly yelled back at me, completely ignoring my works. I was shocked for a moment to hear his say it, the words turning my blood colder than the lake water every would. "You, Loras Tyrell, are gay!" He screamed, his green eyes glaring back at me as I stared silently. "And guess what?" I looked at the water, unable to look at him.
"What?"
"I am too," Renly's voice fell quieter and I felt like drowning.
"Then why did you kiss Margaery," I forced out, my voice cracking. Renly sighed.
"Because I thought that it could make me something I'm not. Once I found out you were taking Sansa to prom I thought that I was wrong about you," Renly said, moving toward he jet ski as I didn't answer him. He flipped it over quickly, with little difficulty. I got the feeling at he had flipped a lot of jet skis over. "And kissing Margaery didn't do anything to change how I felt," He added as he slung himself up onto it. I forced myself to do the same and Renly turned around completely in his seat to look at me.
We stared at each other for a few moments and I took the time to let the information settle in. Renly was gay, just as gay as I was. And I had never even noticed any of this until a week ago.
"I started moving in on you because I had saw how angry you had gotten prom night. There was no way you were mad just because we had stayed out to late; you saw Margaery and I," Renly explained, "That's why you were crying, wasn't it?" There was no use in answering the question because I knew Renly knew the answer. "And I figured if I showed you that I was interested you would come out to me, but it didn't work." Renly reached out hold my hips, rubbing at my hip bones as electricity raced through me. I moved closer to him, fearless now that I knew there was no hiding it from him. Carefully I put my hand on his cheeks, rubbing over the flawless skin and cheek bones.
Thou shall kiss thou's gay best friend.
As smoothly as I could muster I pulled his lips to meet mine, making sure our noses didn't bump. The stubble of facial hair that Renly always had rubbed against my chin and I fell into him. The kiss was short before he pulled away from me, breathing hard.
"Don't." I managed to whisper, kissing the corners of his mouth, desperate to feel his skin under my lips. "Don't stop." I added, my breath catching in my throat. Renly leaned back into me, his lips soft and full and all I've ever wanted.
"I won't," He murmured between kisses.
And so he didn't.