The day of our championship game I woke up to pouring rain and a depressed looking Jaime Lannister. I sat up slowly, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes and trying to make Jaime's figure look less blurry in my eyes. He looked to me once I had sat up fully, already dressed and perfect looking.
"No game today, Robb sent us all texts to let us know," Jaime murmured before looking back to the window and the pouring rain. I groaned and laid back on the pillows, watching the ceiling fan spin around and trying to stop my eye lids from drooping back down. I didn't want to get up in the first place, and I really didn't want to get up if we didn't even have a championship game to go to. Renly and I hadn't fixed out disagreement over who should be told of us after almost four days now. He was giving me the cold shoulder, and trying to act like it didn't bother him, when it really did.
"So the game is next week then, right?" I asked, forcing myself to get up and collect the clothing I was wearing today.
"Next Wednesday, according to Robb," Jaime answered, nodding as he did so.
"Gives us more time to practice," I said softly. Jaime snorted.
"More time to over think how we are going to play," He snapped and I shrugged. Deciding not to engage him anymore in this conversation due to his foul mood. I could understand why Jaime was upset that the game wasn't today, he had more pressure than I did. Because I knew for a fact that some late college scouters were planning on being at the game. Scouters would be willing to basically give you anything to go to their school this late in the season, they are basically just looking for some last minute add ins. Jaime, I knew was on their list of potential players. It seemed a little silly though, it's not like Jaime needed any money to go to college. Much less a full ride soccer scholarship to a college.
Now I was just being a hypocritical. I have a full ride soccer scholarship all set up already; they scouted me in the beginning of the year. But I didn't need the money either. I was going to college about four hours from King's Academy, and about six hours from home.
I shrugged my button up school uniform shirt onto my shoulders and went about tucking it in and buttoning it, making sure to face away from Jaime so he wouldn't be able to see the marks on my neck. I guess he would have assumed they were left there by Sansa because people seemed to still think we were dating, but I didn't want to take any chances. I turned back around once it was all buttoned up to tie the tie and face Jaime.
"Is conditioning still going on?" I asked, sourly hoping coach wouldn't make us do anything due to the rain and the thunder incident on Monday. Jaime stood and picked up his backpack and I followed in his suit, snagging a granola bar out from the box underneath my bed.
"Yes, but I don't think we are doing much," Jaime answered dryly as he held the door open for me. We often walked to conditioning together, if Jaime got back before I left. But by the looks of things I doubted he even went to breakfast. It was an icy silence, and I reminded myself not to get on Jaime's bad side today.
I still had no idea why I had taken that punch for Jaime a few weeks back, my nose had managed to heal even if I was still picking up pieces of my pride off the floor. I didn't ask him, and he didn't ask why I had come home crying after prom. It was an understanding we had. But even with that understanding curiosity still chewed at the corner of my mind. Why did Gregor want to punch Jaime? And more importantly, why in hell did I take it for him. Jaime and I had played soccer together for a long time, even since seventh grade, but we weren't extremely close. He didn't sit with me at lunch or in the classes we had together. In fact, the only time we really communicated was at practice or in our dorm room.
When we reached the locker room we were a little early. Only Jorah and Robb having beaten us there. And Robb was quietly discussion with coach in the corner. I noted that he hadn't changed into running clothes, so I assumed we wouldn't be changing at all. Whispering my findings to Jaime he nodded in agreement and we sat down next to Jorah on one of the benches. He waved his greeting but we all kept quiet in respect for Robb and coach. Slowly the rest of the team filed in, Renly included. Just the sight of him made my stomach flip with nerves. He eyed me coldly before taking the seat beside me. And even when he brushed his hand over mine in greeting I could practically feel the tension between us.
Renly had taken my choice not to tell everyone quiet personally, which frustrated me to no end. He didn't seem to understand that I might not want everyone to know I was gay. This confused me a little bit, because no one knew Renly was gay either. He was being a hypocrite in a way. Renly was mad at me because I didn't want to tell everyone, when he himself had not told anyone either. I clenched my teeth a bit in frustration over the whole thing as coach finally broke his quieted talk with Robb to address all of us.
"We all know the game had been canceled, and do to the weather we are not going to condition either. Take the day off, no practice today or tomorrow," Coach proclaimed and I sighed a little bit. I wasn't sure it was such a good choice to take two days off of practice, but maybe all of our nerves for the game were beginning to show in practice. Just yesterday Jorah had missed a wide open shot on goal in our scrimmage. And Gendry was running at half the speed that he normal did. Even Jaime was missing more shots than normal. Coach made us all gather round for a cheer, which was much weaker than normal.
Once we broke apart and coach left us to go back to his office Robb climbed up on top of a bench so we would all pay attention to him.
"While coach may not want us practice, I say we practice," He stated and I snorted. It was just like Robb to refuse a day off and make all of us join in with him. Jorah seemed to share my thoughts and spoke up to argue with Robb.
"We need the day off, we don't need to practice," Jorah mumbled. The whole team nodded in agreement, and much to my surprise Robb laughed. I narrowed my eyes at him.
"No real practice I mean," Robb was grinning a bit, but I was still royally confused. Luckily Theon seemed to catch on to what he was saying.
"You mean our own type of soccer game?" He questioned and Robb nodded in agreement. It clicked for me then; they were talking about an official game of drunken soccer. I remember Renly mentioning a soccer party in our car ride back to school, but I didn't anticipate this type of party. Robb and Jon had played a fake version of the soccer team's favorite games at the after party of prom. But what was being suggested now was a full out game of intoxicated soccer. Meaning the whole team and the JV team would be involved.
"Bad idea," I said quickly, not really meaning for the words to come out of my mouth. Robb turned to me, folding his arms across his chest. "We don't need to jeopardize the already far and few between brain cells on this team with more drinking," I said dryly, mimicking Robb's crossed arms with my own. I heard Renly try to hide a laugh beside me, covering his mouth. Even if we were in a kind of fight, it was good to know he would still laugh at my jokes.
"You're just saying that because you don't like drinking, Tyrell," Theon said, backing up Robb. I shrugged. It was true; drinking wasn't my favorite pass time. I couldn't hold drinks to well, and after I had thrown up at a party last year and felt like dying for the next few days, I had basically stopped drinking.
"Well, if you don't like it, don't come," Robb said, waving me off. "But, we're going to play soccer tonight, at seven, on the back fields! I'm inviting the JV team too, but we will split it up evenly so they actually have a chance of winning." Someone laughed at his words, "And there will be drinking," Robb looked at me when he said the words and I frowned back at him. He hopped back off of the bench, silently ending our locker room meeting. I picked my backpack back up and headed for the door. Renly caught me by the shoulder before I could get very far.
"Are you going to go?" He asked. I snorted.
"Nope."
"C'mon Loras, it'll be fun, you should come," Renly encouraged me, taking his hand away from my shoulder. Normally I would have expected him to wrap it around me, but that was before we engaged in this awkward icy disagreement we were having,
"Drinking is not my version of fun. Remember what happened last time you drank?" I asked, stabbing an accusing finger into his chest trying to get him to remember his kiss with Margaery. Renly batted my hand away, narrowing his eyes a bit.
"Do you not trust me?" Renly accused. I reeled a little bit in shock from his question. We were talking about going to the party and now suddenly the conversation had flipped around to me trusting him not to kiss my sister again. "I wouldn't think you would care, anyways," He growled, at least having enough respect for me to not bring this up when anyone else was in the room. "Considering you don't even want to tell anyone."
"No, I don't really trust you anymore after that," I snapped at him, crossing my arms and taking a step away from him to keep the distance. Renly frowned, his eye brows furrowing in the middle of his forehead.
"Fine," He said suddenly, shouldering past me and out the door. I stared after him for a moment, wondering if I should follow him. Deciding not to I hung back in the locker room for a moment, scuffling my feet. I wanted Renly and me to work, but if he wasn't going to be able to accept that I didn't want people to know about us, I'm not sure we could.
And that possibility made me want to sob.
Margaery fell onto my bed when she entered my room, kicking her flats off once she hit the sheets. Sansa, ever more polite, took the desk chair and daintily took off her own shoes. The school day had been rather unproductive, with all my upsetting thoughts about Renly and I. Every time I tried not to think about him I could only do it more. Sansa could sense my feelings, and I knew Margaery could tell I was upset even if she didn't say anything. Hence why the two of them where now in my room, having convinced themselves that I would be happier when them their then I would ever be by myself.
Margaery tugged me down onto my own bed, gently pulling at the tangles in my hair like she used to when we were kids. I leaned into her, allowing her to do so. Sansa smiled gently at me.
"There is a party going on tonight," Margaery piped up and I groaned a bit. Of course she would know about that. Margaery knew about all the cool parties. "We should go!" She exclaimed suddenly.
"No." I muttered back, "I don't want to see any more drunk people then I already have," I growled. Margaery sighed and tugged harder at one of the snarls. I squawked and pushed her hands away from my head and looked at her. "What was that for?"
"Don't be such a spoilsport! It would be fun!" Margaery insisted. I pushed her over a bit on my bed so that I could lie back on the pillows
"Trust me, it won't be fun," I said sourly. Margaery pouted at me, poking at my stomach.
"Renly will be there," She said and I found myself laughing a little bit at the irony. Renly was exactly the reason I did not want to go to the party. Renly being drunk was the reason to be exact. With this grudge he was holding against me currently and the way we had talked in the locker room I wanted to keep Margaery very far from Renly. I wasn't sure I could handle how I would feel if he kissed her again.
"I don't care if he will be there," I said, my voice cracking a little bit. I did care. I cared a lot. Margaery shrugged, leaning back to lie next to me. Sansa spoke up then.
"Robb told me I shouldn't go anyways," She said softly. I looked at her and Margaery propped herself on her elbow to get a better look at her.
"Even more reason why we should go!" She exclaimed suddenly, pushing her way out and over me so she could stand up. "Wouldn't it be great, we show up, Loras looking perfect as ever and me as beautiful as ever. And just as Robb Stark opens his mouth to say hello we step aside and show off his beautifully sexy younger sister!" Margaery waved her hands like she could put her thoughts on a bulletin board. She pulled Sansa to her feet and spun her around. "I could do your hair!" Sansa laughed. I groaned.
"Margaery no, I don't want to go to the party, let alone watch the whole soccer team ogle you and Sansa. It's a boy party," I growled, watching them as Margaery ran her fingers through Sansa's hair. Margaery laughed a little through her nose.
"I could care less if it's a boy party," She rolled her eyes at me, "It's even more of a reason to go if it's an all boy's party," Margaery winked at Sansa who laughed again at her words. "More beautiful soccer boy asses to stare at!"
"What have I said about talking about the team and physical attributes in front of me?" I questioned, sitting up and resting my feet on the floor.
"Yeah, yeah Loras, I don't care," Margaery waved me off, braiding Sansa's hair before letting it go gently. "Please, let's go, it will be fun!" She insisted again after a moment of silence. Sansa was looking like she was ready to say yes and I could see I was losing this battle with the two girls quite quickly.
"I really don't think it will be much fun," I muttered softly but Margaery was already exclaiming about getting clothes for both her and Sansa and whisking out of the dorm room with promises of returning shortly with new clothes. Sansa turned to me once she was gone.
"Did you say you don't care that Renly will be there?" Sansa asked, concern fliting across her face. I rubbed my eyes and sighed, not feeling like explaining but knowing she would never not let me.
"We're in a fight, kind of, I guess," I said softly. Sansa quickly sat down next to me, taking my hand.
"Why?" Her voice was gentle. And I couldn't quite remember how I had gone about life without Sansa's ever present mothering. She rubbed circles in my hand as I talked.
"It's silly, really, now that I have to say it out loud," I sighed, "He's mad because I don't want to tell everyone I'm gay. Or well, that we're gay, for each other,"
"But you should tell everyon-"
"Dammit Sansa, I don't want to!" I tugged my hand away from her and stood up, anger forming in the pit of my stomach. Sansa looked up at me, I expected her to look frightened but she only looked concerned even more. "It will just screw up this nice little world I've got laid out! People will make fun of me, I won't be happy, the soccer critics won't take me series! If I ever go pro I will only ever be know as Loras-the-fucking-gay-defender-Tyrell!" I was yelling now, but I didn't really care, "Margaery will never treat me the same again, my brothers, well I don't even want to go there, not to mention my parents!" Sansa watched me silently, "It isn't what I want my life to be like!"
Sansa let the silence fall for a little bit as I heaved in air, happy that I had got that out of my stystem, but not happy that I had yelled at Sansa.
"You may not want your life to be that way, but I don't think you will ever be happy intill you except that you're life is going to be the way you don't want it to be,"She said, speaking in a soft even tone that I couldn't help but be relaxed by, "Besdies, I think Loras-the-gay-fucking-defender-Tyrell sounds like a pretty cool guy," Sansa smiled gently and I stared at my feet.
"You really think so?"
"I know so," Sansa said, taking my hand in her's again, "No one is going to treat you any different if you're gay or not. Or atleast, if they do, they don't deserve you attention," She said. I nodded slowly, taking my hand from hers and sitting back down. She followed my suit and we sat in comfortable silence for a few moments before Margaery returned, sporting tanktops and short-shorts.