On a scale of one to ten, I'm going to give this chapter a five. Some parts feel pretty weak, but... ehhh. I really, really wanted to complete this story. So after I settled in the new house, the motivation came racing back to me. I'm sorry if you aren't satisfied with it; it's 1:30 AM, and... I should really get to sleep, sooo... yay or nay or meh? Whatever floats your boat! :)
And Wendy in the beginning... I know about her and Butters in The Hobbit, and it seems really OOC for her to defend Butters in this... I just feel she's the type of girl to stand up for him, regarding that episode.
Chapter III
Mr. and Mrs. Weatherhead were enjoying themselves to a nice evening; they had everything they'd ever wanted in their makeshift living area. But something in Mr. Weatherhead's peaceful state just snapped. He shot a curious expression over to his wife, who was absorbed in her books.
"Martha, dear… do you think it's too… quiet?"
Mrs. Weatherhead looked at him, a funny look on her face. "Actually, it does. Do you suppose…?"
Mr. Weatherhead rose from his chair.
"I'll check to see if the children are in bed," he said. "It would be wrong if it were this quiet! I don't hear either of them rolling around on those squeaky mattresses!"
Both parents angrily walked up the stairs and approached Kenny's and Karen's rooms. Mr. Weatherhead knocked on Kenny's door.
"Kenneth?"
When there was no answer, Mr. Weatherhead peeked inside; he didn't find any trace of Kenny. All he left behind was his orange parka that was hanging in the closet, an untidy bed, and an opened window. As Mr. Weatherhead began to quiver with rage, Mrs. Weatherhead appeared in the doorway.
"Jon, Karen's missing!"
"Kenneth is too," replied Mr. Weatherhead. He balled his meaty hands into fists. "They've disobeyed us and escaped to the ball! I am such a fool; I should have known!"
"What do we do?" asked Mrs. Weatherhead. She was a woman who was quick to act on her husband's demand. She followed him downstairs and into the kitchen, where he took out a can of Dr. Pepper from the fridge.
He glowered at it for a good minute until exiting the kitchen and grabbed his jacket from the coat rack.
"Stay here and prepare the punishment room," he instructed, walking towards the front door. "I'll be back."
Butters and Karen danced the night away. Karen felt a little uneasy, however. She saw a number of nasty glares and dumbfounded expressions that were directed at Butters as they waltzed between couples. She couldn't help but wonder why they were staring at her dance partner. What did he ever do to them that made them so sour? Karen thought Butters was so nice; he was a very well-mannered and kind little boy who did his best to make everyone feel happy. Karen did have to admit that he was… how could she put this? Dorky. Dorky, but adorable! In yet, he had a charming personality.
A group of kids were observing them nearby.
"W-well I-I-I'll be damned," Jimmy Valmer cursed, "B-B-Butters has found himself a b-b-bride after all."
"She doesn't look familiar," said Nichole.
"I've never seen her before, have you?" Token asked Clyde, who shrugged.
"Not me," Clyde replied. He sent a smug smile in Karen's direction. "But she's a cutie, that's for sure."
"He's probably just going to dump her right after he introduces her to his parents," Eric Cartman whispered to Stan.
Wendy furrowed her eyebrows at him, a little angry spark flaring deep in her chest. "How dare you!" she snapped. "Can't you see that the prince is the happiest he's ever been tonight?"
"… So? Like that makes a difference. That dweeb is always happy."
"God!" Wendy turned red; the smoke almost visibly puffed out of her ears from Cartman's offensive behavior. "Just once in your life, cut the kid a break! And I'm not saying this to Cartman, I'm saying this to everybody. Butters treats everyone here with respect and most courtesy, but what does he get in return? Shit. You treat him like shit. He's not some doormat that deserves to be walked all over! He is a human being, for f—"
"Stan, I think you need to send a message to Michael and Debi Pearl," Cartman advised. "'Cause your bitch here is socially misbehaving. Don't let your bitch socially misbehave, Stan."
Oh, that did it.
"Look who's talking, Mister-I-couldn't-get-a-date-so-I-brought-my-mother! Wow, what a genius backup plan."
Cartman's eyes narrowed into thin slits. "Don't you dare talk about my momma that way…"
A worried Karen shook in Butters' arms as she witnessed the argument between Wendy and Cartman from across the room.
"Karen?" asked Butters, immediately concerned. "What's wrong?"
"I don't understand why so many people have to be at each other's throats all the time," she said.
Butters patted her head in an affectionate way. "Aww, don't you worry about Eric and Wendy, Karen. They fight all the time; they usually don't see eye to eye. That's what they do best."
Karen swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. "T-that's what my parents did, too," she whispered sadly. A misty glaze fell over her eyes.
The prince's smile faded. "Oh… I'm sorry."
"It's okay, Butters. They're in a better place now with my oldest brother."
B-better place? … They're dead?
As a knot began to tangle itself in his stomach, Butters stopped the waltz and placed his hands upon Karen's shoulders protectively.
"I… I had no idea. I'm so sorry, Karen," he said seriously. "Who have you been staying with since your family's passed?"
Karen suddenly looked discouraged. "Oh… I…"
Butters' eyes widened with worry. "Karen, please… As the prince, I should know these sorts of things. I have my rights…"
"The prince?" gasped Karen. "… You're the prince?"
Her knees went a knockin'. They felt wobbly. Like as if the ground had disappeared and was replaced with clouds. Butters offered a timid grin. He blushed and rubbed the back of his head and looked at the floor for a mere moment, bashfully brushing his left foot back and forth over the polished marble.
"Uh… eh… I-I guess I forgot to tell 'ya, huh?"
In the background of the ballroom, Cartman cupped his hands over his mouth and shouted, "Quick, there's still time! Run! Run while you can!"
Butters threw his head back and glared at the overweight boy. "Be quiet, Eric! Can't you see I'm telling my hearty speech here before I propose?"
Karen took a cautious step back, her face reddening ripe like a tomato. "… P-p-propose?" she squeaked.
Cartman rolled his eyes, grunting. "Oh, whatever. Like she's going to marry a nerd like you."
"… Aww, you know what? Screw it, I'll just get right to the point," Butters muttered under his breath, kneeling down on one knee. He took Karen's shaking, small hands in his and gazed fondly at her. "Karen… I know we've only spent an hour or so together and we couldn't have possibly know about each other in that small amount of time, but I… whenever I look at you, my tongue swells up. And my hands get clammy and… you're so nice and sweet, I just want to… aw, shucks, Karen—will you marry me? … Say in ten years?"
Talk about escalating too quickly. But if Karen were to stay with Butters, she'd learn more about him on the inside and out. That went for her, too. She would live in a wonderful new home where she hoped to be treated fairly by everyone. There would be no more pain or suffering or drinking or Dr. Pepper. Ten years would certainly give them enough time and preparation to know one another and plan the wedding. And she'd never have to set foot in the awful Weatherhead residence again. But there were a couple of cons. Butters had pointed out that living in a castle could get a little stuffy, and what would become of Kenny if she were to move out?
Karen looked at Butters carefully. He began to read her expression and could tell she was thinking about this decision rationally before jumping on the bandwagon. It was just another solid reason why he had to admire her. He smiled at that.
"My brother," said Karen finally. "Can he live here, too?"
"Your brother?" said Butters. He nodded. "Sure! Of course he can stay; hopefully my parents won't mind."
Karen sighed with relief. "Good. He does so much for me, he deserves to be happy."
Butters blinked. "Does this mean you'll…?"
"Yes!"
The prince leapt up and wrapped his arms around his fiancé, enclosing her in a hug.
"Oh my God! I can't believe it! You said yes! Oh man, Karen, you don't know happy I am…"
The clock tower's bell chimed throughout the kingdom, startling everyone.
"It's midnight!" exclaimed Butters chirpily, twirling around. "I've found a bride before midnight! That means I won't be grounded! Whoopieee!"
"I have to tell my guardian angel the good news," said Karen. She picked up her skirts and hurried away to the entrance.
"And I… oh hamburgers, my crown! Without it, my parents will ground me!"
"Well I for one think it's sweet how you're watching out for your sister, Kenny."
"Thanks. And I'm sorry what's been happening with your mom lately. I hope she can recover her drinking problem at rehab."
Emily perked up a smile and gently rested her hand over his gloved one. "Thank you. That means a lot to me. … If you want, we'd love it if you'd stop by for a visit now and then. It's only the two of us, so it gets kind of lonely at our cottage by the sea."
Kenny leaned in. "I'd love to."
It was then when Emily found herself leaning in as well—but before their lips could meet, a frantic Prince Butters burst upon on romantic scenario.
"Where is it?! Aw'shit, where could have it gone?! I know I've misplaced it somewhere around here!"
"Oh, poop on a stick," Emily groaned. "And we just finished our life stories, too…"
Kenny jumped down from the edge of the fountain, his Mysterion persona taking over once again. "Your Highness," he bowed. He looked at Butters questionably. "What seems to trouble you?"
"Oh, hello!" Butters greeted Mysterion, looking him up and down. "… Uh, you know this isn't a costume party, right? Halloween isn't here for a few more months. Anyway, I'm looking for my crown. My parents won't be happy with me if I'm not wearing it."
Mysterion glanced around the gardens, hoping to catch his baby sister, but unfortunately, she was nowhere to be seen. His eyes grew angry, but worry swallowed his heart.
"Wait. Where's the girl you were with?"
"Huh? Oh, she went outside to the front entrance to tell someone about our engagement," said Butters. "So while she's doing that, I needed to look for my crown—ah! Here it is."
Mysterion's jaw dropped. "You left her alone?"
Butters shrugged. "Well, y-yeah. I mean, she went off by herself. I guess she couldn't wait. Something about her… guardian angel?"
A scream of terror pierced the air.
The prince gasped. "That sounded like—"
"KAREN!"
The three children scrambled through the thinning ballroom; many of the guests had left at the stroke of midnight, thankfully. Mysterion and Emily scanned the room for Karen when Butters saw his parents approaching in a hasty fashion. An eager King Stephen clasped his hands and rubbed them together as Queen Linda looked to the small number of little ladies who hadn't left the party yet.
"Butters! Where's the lucky girl?" asked Stephen excitedly.
Butters stared longingly at them, saying nothing. His parents exchanged worried glances.
"Butters," said Linda, using her comforting motherly voice, "Did you find a bride?"
The prince did not reply. Placing his hands on his hips, Stephen narrowed his eyebrows.
"Young man, you're grounded for—"
"He did, Your Majesties," said Mysterion. "But first we'll have to get her back."
Stephen's anger disappeared right away when he saw the boy dressed in a purple hood and a pair of inappropriate tidy-whiteys. "Son, this is not a masquerade ball! Halloween isn't here for at least five more m—"
"I know!" yelled Mysterion, losing his temper. "People have been telling me that all night; but this isn't what we should be focusing on. Something big is about to happen!" He paused for effect and pointed an index finger at Stephen and Linda, who grew anxious by every word. Mysterion narrowed his eyes darkly as he walked closer to them. "Your future daughter-in-law is about to be drowned in Dr. Pepper by her wicked foster parents, and all you two do is threaten your son with endless sucky punishments because you have nothing else better to do! Act like a real king and queen for once by helping those in need instead of wasting your time thinking you're awesome twenty-four seven! Is that too much to ask? Good God!"
Emily stepped behind Mysterion and began to massage his shoulders and assure him.
"Easy, Kenny… it's okay. Everything will be fine! We'll get your sister back, don't worry!"
Kenny hung his head in shame. A large wad of guilt plunged down into his stomach; he should have been there for Karen when she needed him most! He shut his eyes, growling underneath his breath. If anything were to happen to her when he wasn't there…
"Oh, we better…"
Emily smiled halfheartedly, tempting to calm her newfound love down.
"We will," she whispered, reaching for his chest. His heart was pounding, but with her touch, it suddenly started to relax. Kenny finally smiled back and took Emily's hand that was lying on his chest. He faced Stephen, looking serious again.
"Butters' fiancé is in grave danger. It's time to let go of the jester's hat and put on the crown."
A frightened Karen dangled from high chains overhead. The basement—or, also known as, The Punishment Room by her foster parents, was a dark, dank place; it was like every child's worse nightmare come true. The only light available in the room was a single light bulb, tiny and dim. A crinkled mess of a mat was below the girl's body, worn down by countless sprays and four cinder blocks. Karen wept for her brother who had to go through all of that suffering before. She watched with tearful eyes as Mr. and Mrs. Weatherhead emptied a few boxes of Dr. Pepper and poured full cans into a large barrel that was connected to a power washer.
Mr. Weatherhead caught Karen's miserable expression and sneered.
"Now you know why you should never leave this house without our permission," he said. He turned to his wife, looking stern. "Let us proceed with the waterboarding, Martha. Her brother should come to her rescue after hearing her first scream." He stared at his opened palm and crushed it into a fist. "That way we'll have them both. Then they'll learn to never disobey us ever again!"
Fizzy soda bubbled in Karen's ears. Before she knew it, she had become blinded by the first shot. Karen felt a scream burst out of her mouth as the liquid consumed her body.
"KENNY! (pffft) GUARDIAN ANGEL! PLEASE! (pffft) HELP ME!"
Enraged, Mr. Weatherhead stamped his foot and lashed out his arms; his wife stopped the hose.
"How many times have we've gone through this?!" demanded Mr. Weatherhead. "Karen, there are no such thing as angels! And if they were, they would be agnostic! Don't give me that face—no! Don't start crying! Oh, for the love of—it's just a dress, for God-ish's sake!"
"My gown!" she sobbed. "My guardian angel got me this gown for the ball… how could you?"
"… Hit her with the Dr. Pepper again, Martha. And make this one a little longer than the last time. It seems that Karen hasn't gotten the message yet."
Mrs. Weatherhead followed her husband's orders and began to spray Karen furiously from head to toe. Mr. Weatherhead raised his eyes to the ceiling.
"Martha… stop. Stop the spray, dear."
"What's wrong?" asked Mrs. Weatherhead, turning off the power washer.
Mr. Weatherhead put a finger to his lips, shushing her. An obscure noise came from outside the house. They looked to the ceiling again.
"… Trumpets…?" murmured Mr. Weatherhead. "By God-ish, it's the king!"
"At this hour?" said his wife, shocked. She immediately dropped the hose and glanced at the girl who hung limp in chains. "What should we do with her?"
"Leave her here," said Mr. Weatherhead, sprinting to the stairway. "We'll finish with her after His Majesty leaves."
Karen slowly raised her head and shook it back and forth violently.
"No!" she cried desperately. "No, don't leave me! Please! … Please?!"
Ignoring the pleas of the abused child, the foster parents left her alone in the cold and musty basement. The last of the Dr. Pepper dripped over her legs and to the floor; Karen could hear the tiny plops against the mat. That's when a hysterical cry emerged from Karen's throat, turning her cheeks red. She cried for Kenny, for her guardian angel and for her family… and for Butters. She was too embarrassed at herself to look down at her dress, which stuck to her. Her wonderful ball gown that her guardian angel purchased for her… was ruined… absolutely ruined! And all of her dreams… why, they were completely shattered. Nothing was left for her.
She held back a squeal of discomfort and sniffled.
"Be a big girl, Karen… that's what Kenny'd want you to be," she told herself. "… You're a going to be a princess! Princesses make people happy; they don't make them sad… and if you're a princess, and you're sad… you're going to make your people sad, too…"
Mr. Weatherhead opened the door cautiously; soon enough, he was face to face with King Stephen and Queen Linda.
"Well, this is quite a surprise!" said Mr. Weatherhead. His wife laughed sheepishly in the background and curtsied before the royal family. "What brings you to our home in the middle of the night, Your Majesties? What can we do for you?"
"I apologize for waking you, Mr. and Mrs. Weatherhead," said Stephen. "But it seems that my son Leopold here has fallen deeply in love with your adopted daughter. Before my queen and I could meet her at the ball, she, uh… hurried home." Butters glared up at his father who removed his expensive pipe and cleared his throat. "Well… I… what we've come to understand from the prince is that you've abducted her and brought her back here where you could drown her in… a basement full of Dr. Pepper?"
"She had no right to go to that stupid ball to fill her head with wonders," said Mr. Weatherhead snootily.
"… What do you mean?" asked Linda, confused. "Every child was to go! Were you planning to keep her home and locked up?"
"No!" shouted Mrs. Weatherhead. "We were planning on keeping her home and forcing her to clean and say her agnostic prayers."
"Of course she had to play the rebellion and go to the ball without telling us," said Mr. Weatherhead. "And she fell in love with some prince! Humph! And she didn't tell us about that, either! That does it. She'll spend the rest of the night in the Punishment Room!"
Stephen and Linda were appalled.
"Some prince?" retorted the queen.
The king became outraged. "That some prince is our precious son, you bigoted son of a bitch!"
Mr. Weatherhead stepped up to Stephen's steaming face. "What did you call my mother, you little pussy?"
"Don't call me a pussy, you pussy! You shall address me as a royal pussy!"
"You want to take this outside?" screamed a furious Mr. Weatherhead.
"We are outside, asshole!"
The two men bickered back and forth like children as their wives pulled them away from killing one another. While this was happening, Mysterion saw the opportunity of tiptoeing toward the house. He grabbed Prince Butters' attention, wanting him to follow.
The friends entered the home. As Mysterion hurried to the Punishment Room, Butters took in his surroundings. He bumped his knuckles out of apprehension and looked around the unfriendly dining room and kitchen. He couldn't believe that Karen had to live in a place like this; how could she, the sweetest girl in the land, overcome the difficulties of living with such horrible parents? At least his did treat him with love and care. Their punishments were way out of left field now and then, but this… Butters had a lot to take in. Karen and her brother had to put up with so much lately, and it broke his heart. It took a lot of strength and courage to stand up to the Weatherheads, and just thinking of Karen doing that made Butters' heart thump straight out of his chest. He never realized how much he loved her...
"Gosh, I can't believe this is Karen's house… It's not very hospitable, is it, Mysterion? … M-Mysterion?" He noticed the door to the first floor was ajar and followed the guardian angel. "Hey, Mysterion! Wait for me!"
Butters was about to leap off the last step of the staircase when he saw the heartwarming image of a drenched and physically and emotionally exhausted Karen cuddling in the arms of her savior. Her little fingers clutched the hero's fabrics repeatedly as he stroked her Dr. Pepper-filled hair. The reeking stench of the carbonated water made Butters want to vomit, but he knew this wasn't the appropriate time to do so.
"Oh… oh Angel, I'm so glad you're here," said Karen softly.
Mysterion pushed some sticky bangs out of his sister's eyes and placed a kiss on her forehead.
"I'm here," he whispered. "I'm right here."
From that moment on, he continued to cradle her like out of natural instinct of a mother being overprotective of her infant. Karen's eyes moved to her dress. Using two of her fingers, she snatched a piece of it and examined it closely. The view of nasty soda stains made her burst into tears again. Mortified, Karen hid her face into her hands. Kenny grimaced. All of that waterboarding must have traumatized her a great deal; but what surprised him the most, she didn't talk about the horrific experience.
"All of your money has been wasted, Guardian Angel!" she sobbed. "I'm so, so sorry!"
Mysterion nuzzled her hair, taking no notice of the scent of Dr. Pepper.
"Please don't be, Karen. In fact, it wasn't any of my money."
Butters' eyes widened. Then… whose money is it? Er... was?
"It… it wasn't?" said Karen, raising her head. Mysterion brushed her tears away with a gloved thumb.
"No. I stole it from the Weatherheads," he confessed.
Butters covered his surprised gasp with two hands. Now why'd he do a thing like that?
"Why?"
"I felt that they didn't provide enough for you," said Mysterion. "They always made you do this and that; they never thought of spending anything to make you happy. And besides, I can always get you another. Maybe three or four! … Maybe over a million dresses."
"… I… oh my… you'd really do that for… for me?" she asked. He nodded. "What did I do to deserve such a wonderful guardian angel?"
Mysterion leaned forward, smiling mischievously.
"I ask myself that every day, too. Just how in heaven did I get assigned to watch over such a lovely little princess?"
Karen felt overwhelmed with a loving warmth. "Oh, Angel…"
Mysterion's grin widened as he rose to his feet, pulling Karen along in the process. "Now let's get you home."
"… Home?"
"The castle, of course!" said Mysterion. "Prince Butters' parents are itching to meet you."
"Really?" asked Karen, jumping for joy. "They are?"
"That's right. I told them all about you when we were on our way to rescue you," said Mysterion. "Kenny's settling in his personal chamber right now! He wanted to tag along and distract the Weatherheads, but I thought it'd be too risky. I didn't want the both of you to end up in danger, so I told him to wait at the castle in case if you came back. You don't know how thrilled he is to hear that you're going to be a princess! … In eleven years!"
"Oh, Guardian Angel!" Karen threw her arms around him. "Thank you for all what you've done for me and Kenny! You've been protecting him too! That's so nice of you. How can we ever repay you?"
"Think nothing of it, Karen," said Mysterion, burying his face into her shoulder just to hide away his big smile. "I'm happy to help you in any way that I can."
Karen pulled away, looking rather puzzled.
"Wait… what do you mean by 'we'?"
Mysterion gestured to Butters, who had watched the entire heartwarming scene. He wiped his eyes and waved innocently.
"Heh… h-hi, Karen! Um, I didn't mean to… y'know, interrupt the moment—"
"Butters!" squealed Karen, tackling him into a hug. "Butters, are you all right?! Did the Weatherheads hurt you?"
Butters snuggled his chin over Karen's damp head and rested it in her hair, smiling like a goofy idiot. It was so good to have her back in his arms again. "N-no, they didn't… I'm just so glad that you're all right… would you like to come home with me? We can catch up in the carriage—that is, if want to… I know you've been through a lot lately, Karen, but all I want to do is make you feel at home… make you feel comfortable, you know? You can have your own little bedroom with your own little bath, and… a closet full of pretty dresses… oh, golly… I… I hope you can… stay forever…"
Working up enough courage, Butters leaned forward and planted a chaste kiss upon Karen's cheek. The poor girl's face flared up at once, and butterflies were unleashed in her stomach and started to flutter like crazy.
"I-I'll stay," stammered Karen.
A blushing Butters took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Forever?"
"Forever," Karen promised. "Guardian Angel, thank you for everything…"
When Karen turned her back to face the boy in the purple hood and green question mark, he was gone. Butters embraced Karen before leading her outside of the Weatherheads' house and to the carriage where his parents were waiting.
Kenny perched on top of a tower in his Mysterion costume for one last time that night. He saw the royal carriage pull onto the castle grounds. Out popped the king and queen, followed by the bouncy Prince Butters and his future princess, Karen McCormick. He smiled when Butters guided Karen by the hand and into the castle where he'd lead her to her royal chamber.
He silently glided down the tower and tumbled through the window of his brand new bedroom. In quick haste, Kenny stripped off his Mysterion garb and slipped into his too familiar orange parka. There came a knock at the door when he folded his costume and pushed it underneath his bed beside his secret box of breast drawings. He looked at himself in the mirror and glanced down at the rose that he would give to Emily on their first real date.
There was another knock at the door.
Kenny tightened the strings on his hood which muffled his speech.
"Coming, Karen!" he called cheerfully.
But right now he had to play the most important part of all; being a big brother.