Once again, here's the prompt: Could you please write a one shot of Toby comforting Spencer because A is finally unmasked and shot Aria and killed her?
Eventually Toby moved Spencer back into her bed, climbing in with her. He kissed her eyelids, knowing she was still awake. He stroked her face, wiping away the tears with his fingertips. He stroked her hair, gently. When she rolled on her side, he slipped his hand inside the back of her shirt, giving her a back rub. He did anything he could think of.
Toby didn't even know he'd fallen asleep until her parents arrived home. Neither one of them raised an eyebrow over him sleeping in her bed. Somehow in the time he'd been asleep, Spencer had literally climbed on top of him, her entire body lying on his.
Veronica didn't say a word about it though. She shut her husband up with just a look.
Toby understood that look. Their little girl was in pain and if Toby was helping, her mother wasn't going to interfere.
He wondered sometimes how Spencer couldn't see how much her parents loved her.
Toby held Spencer for the rest of the night. When she woke up, he just continued rubbing her back or stroking her hair. They didn't move until Spencer had to use the bathroom and even then she towed him with her by hand.
Two days later, Spencer developed a low grade fever. Her father insisted she see a physician. Her mom thought it was a completely rational response to what her child had endured. So they compromised and made a house call.
The doctor that arrived saw Spencer in her room, as she refused to leave her bed. Toby immediately went to give them some privacy but she wouldn't let him leave, merely wrapping her fingers around his forearm and tugging weakly. Toby was afraid to refuse her anything at this point, so he climbed back into the huge bed and tried to stay out of the way.
The doctor was kind but Spencer remained less than receptive, ignoring the physician's requests.
"Sweetie, can you please sit up for me?" The middle aged man asked, trying to be gentle.
The only response he got was a blank stare. The same stare that had masked her face since waking up after the first night. Toby had grown to honestly despise that stare, the one that took his love away and buried her ten feet under water.
Toby eventually intervened and wrapped an arm around Spencer's shoulders, propping her up so the doctor could examine her. The older man seemed to realize Spencer mainly responded to her boyfriend and looked at Toby for his requests instead of the petite brunette.
Several times Spencer squirmed away from the doctor's glance, seemingly fed up with everyone around her. Toby was too. He wanted her to be left alone to grieve in peace, not being bothered by random men with stethoscopes, trying to make a few extra dollars from a concerned, wealthy family.
After the doctor had examined her thoroughly he concluded nothing was wrong with her. Peter was relieved. Veronica rolled her eyes and said she knew it, mentioning her mothering instinct. Spencer just flopped on her back, rolled over and began hugging Toby as if he was her lifeline.
From then on, the only time Toby could get Spencer out of bed was to pee. She didn't eat anything so there was nothing to digest. The only thing Toby could get her to drink was water-and he made her guzzle lots of it. Nothing on TV was interesting to her anymore. Books were irrelevant. She'd all but lost her phone. And she didn't want to see Hanna or Emily.
They were closer of the four. They had a special relationship, much like the one Spencer and Aria had.
Three days after the doctor left, there was a knock on the door. Veronica-who was now sleeping in her daughter's red chair nightly-went to answer it. Spencer showed no sign of reaction until the figure approached the door frame to Spencer's bedroom.
Toby hardly recognized Hanna Marin, the usually put together It Girl. Her blonde hair looked like it hadn't been washed in days, black mascara marks marred her cheeks vertically, her nose was runny and red as Rudolf The Red Nose Reindeer.
Hanna didn't hesitate to climb in bed, occupying the opposite side of Toby, completely ignoring the fact that her best friend had turned onto her side away from her. Toby watched for Spencer's reaction, only to see Spencer eventually wrap her arms around her blonde best friend and buried her face in Hanna's shoulder. He felt himself let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. He'd never seen the connection before between his brainiac, witty, high strung girlfriend and her blonde, carefree, appearance orientated best friend until now. Hanna didn't give Spencer the option of turning her away and sometimes Spence needed a little push.
Hanna spent the night that night but neither girl seemed to sleep soundly. Toby tried rubbing Spencer's back but he felt awkward, afraid of slipping his hand up the wrong girl's shirt.
Caleb arrived the next morning, not at all surprised to find his girlfriend-or ex-girlfriend or whatever they were now-inside her best friend's bed. He was at little taken back by Toby being on the other side but comprehension struck his face when he saw Spencer's right arm and leg wrapped around Toby, pinning him to the bed.
Hanna eventually left with Caleb, needing to be helped out of the house by both Caleb and Mrs. Hastings.
The following Sunday, Melissa knocked on her baby sister's door, alerting Toby instead of Spencer. The solemn expression on her face gave away that the day he'd been dreading had finally arrive.
Aria's funeral.
Spencer paid as much attention to her sister as she did the doctor. It took nearly twenty minutes to get her out of bed, not because she was throwing a fit or having a tantrum-Toby almost preferred that to the emptiness in her eyes-but because no one wanted to push her. Not today of all days.
Veronica suggested Spencer shower, seeing as she hadn't bathed since the night Toby brought her home. He realized very quickly he had no idea how many days had passed.
Melissa and Veronica offered to help her but Spencer merely shook her head and looked at Toby, her eyes fixed on his completely. Knowing from past experiences that looking into her big brown orbs only served in her getting her way, he nodded to her unasked request.
The fact that her parents knew they were showering together should be been uncomfortable or awkward but neither Toby nor the Hastings really cared about anything outside of Spencer's wellbeing at the moment.
After their shower Toby got dressed in Melissa's old room, leaving Spencer with her mother and sister. Wondering downstairs slowly, he quietly joined Peter Hastings on the bar stools.
Peter didn't even look up before handing Toby a bottle of Whiskey. "No, sir-" Toby started to refuse when his girlfriend's father interrupted.
"I think we could all use a little bit of a relaxer today."
Without thinking twice, Toby took a swig before passing it back and waiting for his girlfriend to join them. Time seemed to stand still but after what seemed like hours and hours-and it very well may have been-Toby heard footsteps coming gracelessly down the stairs.
Turning around, the girl before him resembled nothing of the girl he'd left in her bedroom. Her hair had been blow dried and styled into loose flowing ringlets all the way down her back, her dress had long, lacy sleeved but was short and cut low in the chest area. Her makeup looked like it'd been done by a professional Hollywood makeup artist. And her heels were high and made her look statuesque.
Without a stopping after stepping off the staircase, she made her way over to her boyfriend. "Hi," She said timidly.
Toby didn't think he'd ever seen her timid. Bringing her hand up to his mouth, he whispered, "You look beautiful."
Unexpectedly, tears formed in her eyes and before he could think twice, Toby tugged Spencer straight into his arms, pulling her head onto his shoulder, kissing her tears away, rocking her from side to side.
Over her head, Toby swore he saw Peter mouth 'thank you' but he couldn't be sure.
Arriving at the funeral was easier than Toby imagined. People had actually left a spot open for the Hastings, and just like Ali's funeral, the now trio all sat with the grieving family.
After walking Spencer to her seat next to Emily with Hanna on the other side, Toby was surprised when Caleb tugged on his arm, only to find he'd had a seat reserved directly behind his girlfriend.
The funeral was a blur. The pastor spoke and said nice things, everyone was silent except for a child crying in the back and the music was fairly typical of a funeral. It reminded Toby of the service his mother had been given. Maybe that was just because they'd both been murdered. Maybe they were together, looking down on the people who loved them, now with all the answers.
Toby spent the majority of the service watching Spencer though. Her tears started before the pastor spoke, her hand was joined with Emily's, who was also crying, her shoulders shook at certain points in the funeral and he saw her free hand ball up, digging her nails into her palm. Caleb nudged Toby when Hanna reached behind her for Caleb to hand her the black purse he was holding. She slyly slipped out a flask and handed it to Spencer. Toby returned Caleb's expression as Spencer, very discretely, took a drink.
Before Toby knew it, it was done.
Spencer stayed sitting as Ella and Byron went up and looked into the casket. Toby had no idea how they managed to clean up a girl who died of a bullet wound but he wisely chose not to voice it. Mike Montgomery went up as his parents exited the church, staring into the casket for a good solid four minutes before high tailing it for the door.
Hanna and Emily went up together but Spencer chose to stay back. As her two best friends looked into the casket that now held her third, Toby put his hand on her shoulder. Reluctantly she placed her hand on top of his and squeezed.
As soon as Hanna and Emily walked away from the coffin, Caleb and Paige stood up to meet their girlfriends.
Toby exited the row with them, following their lead. Emily and Hanna waited as Spencer started to head near the casket but she turned around and motioned for them to leave.
He knew though that she wasn't talking to him. He watched as Hanna and Emily reluctantly left, Em turning back and looking at Spencer for a moment before exiting.
His eyes stayed on Spencer though, watching as she slowly approached the coffin, as if it were covered in flames. Her form leaned over the white box, peering inside before snapping back like she'd been electrocuted. Her hand flew up to her mouth. Toby thought she was concealing a sob but suddenly she made a beeline for the women's bathroom, gagging.
"Spencer!" Toby called after her, "Spence!"
Melissa ran in after her, Veronica on her heels. "Spencer," Her mother started but Toby couldn't hear the rest from the other side of the door.
Peter clamped his hand down on Toby's shoulder. "Come on," He jerked his head towards the door. "Let's give them some privacy."
Privacy was the thing the Hastings were good for. Their daughter spent two years being stalked, tormented and threatened and they still thought giving her privacy was a good idea.
Toby merely shook off Peter's hand and pushed the bathroom door open, not caring that he was defying gender laws by entering the girls' bathroom. "Spencer?" He called out, softly.
He heard a loud sob from inside one of the stalls. Her mother and sister were both crowded outside of it, Melissa's face now mildly annoyed. Toby nudged past them, "Sweetheart, please open up," He begged.
All he got in response was a loud gag.
"Honey, please," Veronica called. "We'll go right home and you can get in your pajamas and we can order something for you to eat from-" She was cut off by a choking noise.
"Spencer, please open up," Toby knocked on the stall, a little firmer.
Finally he heard a click and the stall door fell open, revealing Spencer slumped again the side of the stall, vomit on her dress, her make up smeared by tears. "Oh, baby," Toby knelt down and pulled her into his arms, rubbing the back of her head. "It's okay, baby," He whispered.
Spencer began to fall apart on his shoulder, letting out loud sobs that she'd held in for days now.
"I'm right here, baby." He kissed her hair, "I'm right here."
"Toby, I can't do this," Spencer cried out.
"Shhh, Spence," He whispered, remembering how Melissa had comforted her. "Shh, it's alright."
Finally, when she'd exhausted herself enough, she pulled back. Her mom was quick to pull her off the ground, seeming to want to get Spencer out of there. Veronica helped her over the sink and wiped her face with a wet paper towel before cleaning the vomit off her dress.
"Mom," Spencer whispered as her mom threw the paper towel away and cleansed her hands.
"It's okay, honey," She soothed, her voice firm, touching her daughter's face. "I'm here," She said softer, wiping a tear with her thumb, "I'm here and so are your sister and father and Toby," She listed off, adding Toby's name effortlessly, as if it were second nature.
He walked behind Melissa and Veronica as they guided Spencer out of the bathroom, hustling her towards the waiting car. Toby slipped into the back, taking Spencer out of her mom's arms and into his own.
As soon as they arrived back at the house, Toby carted Spencer up the stairs to her room with Veronica on their tail, Peter called take out from Spencer's favorite restaurant and Melissa turned on the Hastings' expensive fireplace to warm the place up.
Toby stood by the bed as Veronica helped Spencer out of the funeral dress, watching Spencer's facial expressions, her breathing, her eyes. Once her mother was gone and she was out of her dress and into a pair of baggy grey sweats and a camisole, both articles Toby had never seen Spencer wear and had no clue she even owned, Spencer sat down quietly, staring Toby's chest instead of his eyes.
"Are you mad at me?" She asked meekly.
Instantly Toby searched for Veronica because he was sure there was no way his girlfriend meant him. "Spence, what are you talking about?"
"I must have embarrassed you-you know," She stuttered, "puking at the service, starting an uproar."
"Spencer," He said her name softly, stretching it out. "There is not a person in the world who couldn't understand your reaction. Your best friend in the world was murdered and you watched-" Instantly, Toby knew saying the words aloud was a mistake, as her already watery eyes spilled over. "Spence, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"
"Its fine, Tobes," She assured, discretely wiping her fallen tears. "It's true, right?" Spencer raised her head to meet his gaze, her eyes begging him a question he didn't know how to answer.
Her expression was so broken, so destroyed, it killed a part of him to see. Never had he seen her so vulnerable. "Come here," He opened his arms to her. "Come here," He said more firmly when she didn't move towards him. Finally, she stood up slowly, choking back her sobs. Toby kept his arms open to her as she walked over to him at her own pace. When she reached him though, she buried herself inside his arms, bawling into his chest. "Baby," he whispered into her hair, unsure of what else he could say.
"This is all my fault," Spencer sobbed into his neck, "all my fault."
It took him a few moments to comprehend what she said, as she was crying so hard but when he understood he pushed her back slightly. "No, Spencer, this could never be your fault," He promised, wiping her tears with his thumbs, cupping her face.
"I-I-I should-d have stopp-ped it-t," She stammered, her eyes producing tears so fast and so hard that she could barely look at him. "I should of-f told Aria-" Her name took the breath right out of Spencer, having to recollect herself for a moment, "I should have told her Ezra was -A sooner. Maybe then this wouldn't have happened."
Toby couldn't take anymore. He gripped Spencer's arms, lifting her up and laying her down on the bed, lying right next to her. "Baby, there's nothing you could have done," He whispered, pulling her to his chest.
Spencer's hysterics didn't stop or even pause but he didn't want them to. He wanted her to get out her feelings, preferably in front of him. He didn't want Spencer hiding anything or holding anything back. "I love you, Spencer," He whispered, kissing her hair forcefully. "I love you, I love you, I love you so much, Spencer."
In response she hugged herself closer to him, pushing her face into his neck. "I love you more," She whispered.
He wanted to promise her it'd be okay. He wanted to reassure her and protect her and make her laugh but he knew he could never do that. He had tried and taken drastic measures to ensure her safety once, only resulting in the opposite. So he had to settle for holding her while she cried, kissing her tears away and declaring his love for her, hoping to help heal the wound.
Much to Toby surprise, a package of tissues magically appeared on Spencer's nightstand a half hour later. Her parents seemed to have become ghosts, no longer visible but left a trail.
Changing position so that Spencer was laying in his lap, her head resting in the crook of his elbow, Toby used the soft tissues to wipe away tear after tear after tear, pressing soft kisses into her forehead, her hair, her cheek, the corner of her mouth. He did anything he could think of to make her feel better, to the point where he was feeding her water, rubbing her back, stroking her hair, kissing her anywhere he could reach, trying so hard to make her tears falter in some way.
Spencer eventually passed out from exhaustion and when she did, Toby gently laid her on her side, spooning her. "I love you so much, Spencer," He whispered, gently, planting another kiss on her neck. "I'll always be here for you. You're my heart, my entire life, my light. I'd do anything for you." He knew she probably could not hear him but just saying the words made him feel better.
When Spencer awoke the next morning, her voice was hoarse and her eyes were puffy but she didn't start crying. Toby gently cupped her elbow and helped her down the stairs, seating her on the couch. "Are you hungry?" He asked, gently, sitting on the coffee table across from her.
Spencer shook her head, just staring off into space. Of course not. She hadn't eaten since before Aria's death and surely wasn't holding an appetite after the funeral. But Toby knew that she was only hurting herself more by not eating. Immediately Toby wanted to go find Ezra and kill him, hang him from a hook and skin him alive, not only for hurting Spencer but for hurting all four girls. The damaging effects of that night were not just going to heal. Emily, Hanna and Spencer would always carry that night with them.
Peter waltzed in after that, hanging up his phone. "Who was that?" Toby asked, just to make conversation.
"Melissa. She moved into a new apartment in Philly."
Toby was surprised to see Spencer raise an eyebrow over that. He hadn't expected her to listen. "So, what? Was Melissa sick of the attention not being on her and had to escape or something?" Spencer snapped at her dad.
Peter grew uncomfortable, "Come on, Spencer-" He started, holding up a hand, his face one of a lawyer.
"No! No, I'm not going to just-" Before she could continue, Veronica was downstairs and sitting on the couch next to Spencer, her hand cupping the back of her head.
"Shhh," She hushed, bringing Spencer's head to her shoulder.
It didn't take long for Spencer to reject the comfort, moving out of her mother's hold as soon as the tears were gone. She stood up quickly, playing cool, like she was nothing more than bored with the living room.
Without a word, she grasped Toby's hand and led him back to her room. "Sorry," She said as soon as she shut the door, plopping down on the red chair. "I had to get out of there."
Toby looked at her, measuring her emotion. "Why, Spence?"
"I was suffocating," She stated blankly.
Instead of letting it go, like he may have yesterday or the day before, he moved to sit across from her, straddling the red ottoman. "Spencer, I need more."
"Well, I don't have more," She said, her voice even as she brought her legs up to her chest.
"All I want is to help you. How can I do that if you won't let me in?" He pushed, taking her hand.
"I'm fine, Toby. I don't need help," She pulled her hand out of his hold. "I'm just fine."
Toby rolled his eyes, annoyance heightening in his system. "Yeah, you're doing just dandy, aren't you? I mean, you've only been chased by psychopaths for two years and lost two of your best friends and had to lie to everyone and give up any plan for the future. Yeah, I bet you're just fine," He snapped.
It wasn't until Spencer smacked his chest that he realized how insensitive his words were.
"Spencer, I'm sorry," He quickly apologized but the damage was done.
Standing up smoothly, she collected some articles of clothing from her closet. "I'm going to shower," She called over her shoulder as she headed down the hall.
She had barely even left his side since he'd brought her home from the hospital. Burying his face in his hands he realized how badly he'd screwed up. The stress of the atmosphere was getting to him and suddenly he had the feeling of the walls closing in on him, like he needed to escape. Almost as an afterthought he realized he was crying.
Standing up without another thought, he took the stairs two at a time and flew out the door, feeling like the air around him was going to pin him to the ground and take the life out of him.
Toby fought the temptation to leave town. Their fight hadn't even escalated enough that either of them started yelling but something about it was different from their usual arguing. Maybe it was the pressure of the Hastings household. Like a house made of Popsicle sticks, the foundation wasn't at all steady and in time it was bound to cave in and collapse.
Maybe it was the feeling of failure that had been stuck in the back of his mind. Spencer had been hurt, emotionally, mentally and physically, so many times but this was definitely the worst he'd seen and a part of him couldn't shake the feeling that this was his fault for not protecting her better, for not looking out for her while she looked out for everyone else.
And a large part of Toby's problem was the anxiety he hadn't been able to really get rid of since bringing her home. Spencer had been there, inches away from the gun and fired bullet. She had been the one who had seen the psychotic man for the person he really was first. She'd witnessed the entire thing and had laid in her best friend's blood, failing to revive her, seeing her murdered.
She, the most independent person he'd ever met, had to be carried from the scene by a parametric. Peter had informed him sometime in the last few days she had to be held down by three different nurses for a doctor to make sure she wasn't wounded herself. She had to be bathed, dressed and held-not that Toby minded or that he wasn't honored that she had allowed him but it wasn't Spencer. His Spencer was more fiercely independent than George Washington in the Revolutionary War.
Arriving to his loft had brought little comfort to his disturbed mood. While debating on turning back and heading over to the Hastings again, before Spencer had time to realize he was gone, Toby realized there was a figure heading towards him. Before it could alarm him, he realized it was his father.
Carrying a small white teddy bear, Daniel Cavanaugh smiled sheepishly at his only child. "This is for Spencer. . . I didn't know what to get...flowers just felt odd," He said awkwardly.
"Dad. . . "Toby gasped, shocked that his dad was here. "Dad, what are you doing here?"
Daniel didn't respond for several minutes, an unsure look in his eyes. Toby, having learned it from Spencer, was now gifted at staring people down until they spoke. Finally, Daniel met his son's gaze. "I went to the funeral with Jenna and Lisa," He stated, looking at his shoes. "I saw you and I saw Spencer. I wanted to say something to you. Especially after she ran out. I'm your dad. I'm supposed to help you in hard times. But," He hesitated. "I realized I had no clue what to say. I haven't met Spencer since you two started dating. I only remember her as a little girl when you guys were in elementary school. And I know that's on me but. . . .I wanted just to tell you that I'm sorry that you're both going through this and I hope Spencer feels better soon."
Toby didn't know why or what came over him but suddenly his dad was no longer the man who went from hugging him as he mourned his mother's death one day to marrying a new woman and abandoning him completely the next. He wasn't the man who had looked at him with disgust and contempt after Jenna claimed he had been forcing himself on her, or the man who wouldn't let him come to church because he didn't want to be associated with him in public. He wasn't the man who had told him he was dead to him on multiple occasions or yelled in his face when he came to him for answers about his mother's death.
No, because underneath all the fights and the raised voices and the hurt feelings and the angry silences that carried on for months even after the arguments had ended, Daniel Cavanaugh was still Toby's father and he'd never get another.
Toby was surprised by how quickly his dad accepted his hug, his hand suddenly on the back of his head, the way it was when he woke him up at fifteen to tell him his mother had passed. And then very quietly Toby heard his dad whisper, "I love you, son," in his ear.
And because that was all Toby ever wanted to hear, he chose to let go of the anger he'd held onto for so long towards his father.
After a minute, both men let go of one another, shaking off any left over emotion. "By the way," Daniel started, casually, "Spencer is very pretty."
Toby laughed slightly. "Yeah, she's beautiful," Pride and admiration colored his voice.
"Much different than that eight year old at summer camp who needed floaties and special goggles and wet herself in the pool," He remarked, handing Toby the stuffed bear he'd been holding.
Toby laughed out loud at the reference, shaking his head. "Spence is a year younger than me so she was only seven at the time," He corrected automatically, habit formed from the last year of dating Spencer Hastings.
Thinking of Spencer reminded Toby of how they'd last left it. Explaining to his dad that he had to take care of something, Toby hurriedly got back into his truck, taking the teddy bear with him, and drove straight back to the Hastings.
The drive back only served in reminding him exactly how clingy Spencer had been lately. How could he just leave her without any sort of goodbye?
His fears were proven true when he saw through the window his girlfriend sobbing and shaking. "Spencer!" He yelled, pounding on the door.
Before he could hit it twice, Peter flung the door open, shoving him inside. "She's a wreck. She came wandering down stairs five minutes after you left and when we told her you ran out, she had a meltdown," Peter motioned towards the sofa where his younger daughter sat, under her mother's arm.
Instantly, Toby was by her side, suddenly getting a feeling of deja vu. This was eerily similar to the night at the hospital. "Spencer," Toby whispered, pushing her hair behind her ear.
Spencer turned to look at him. "You're here?" She croaked, looking at him in disbelief.
Instead of answering her though, Toby leaned in and kissed her cheek, brushing a tear away, then another, then another. "I'm so sorry, Spence. So so very sorry." He whispered, pressing a kiss to the place behind her ear. "I'm here right now and I'm not going anywhere." Her mother looked at them for a moment before unwrapping her arm around Spencer and standing up to give them privacy.
Spencer nodded towards the bear still in Toby's hand, wrapping her arms around his neck, latching on. "What's that?"
Toby laughed a little, looking down at the stuffed toy. "My dad asked me to give this to you."
The look on her face was priceless. "Your dad?"
He handed her the bear, for the first time seeing that it had Spencer sewed into the pillow. "He wanted to do something to help. . .I don't really know," Toby brushed off, shrugging.
Spencer looked up at him, sloppily swiping her hand across her face to remove evidence of tears. "Tell him thank you," She said, trying to repress her sniffles as Toby brought his hand up to rub away her tears gently.
"Tell him yourself. I think he'd like to meet you."
Spencer snorted. "Really? Because he didn't want to meet me when we started dating or anytime in the last-"
"I know, Spence," Toby agreed as he moved to sit next to her on the couch, wrapping an arm around her. "I know," He kissed the top of her head as she leaned into his chest.
Her waterworks didn't start back up like he expected. Instead she just leaned into his chest, subtlety looking around for her parents, who had allusively slipped out the back door.
"We need to talk about happened earlier," Toby stated, looking at the fireplace instead of his girlfriend. "I'm sorry I pushed you like that Spencer. I should have let it go, I know, but. . ."
After a few seconds of silence, Spencer prompted, "But?"
"I just can't stop myself if I think you need help. I want you to lean on me when you need someone but you put on a mask and you try to conceal it."
She laughed, humorlessly. "That's what I do, Tobes. I push people away. It's what I'm really good at," She said dejectedly, letting out a deep breath as if to push away her emotions again.
Pulling away from his hold and leaning forward, Spencer covered her face with her hands. "I don't know how to be different. I have no clue how to let anyone in," She whispered.
Toby's heart broke for her. "Spencer. . ." He whispered, but didn't continue. Then, completely out of the blue, he spoke again. "You know what my dad reminded me of today?"
Spencer slowly craned her head out of her palms and towards him, looking at him confused. "What?"
"Do you remember Camp Saginaw?"
A muddled look overrode her features. "Yeah, I do," She looked at him as if he had three heads. "I haven't thought of Camp Saginaw in years though. I didn't have the best experience there."
"I know."
Her face became more puzzled, "How do you know?"
"I was there, remember?"
Spencer didn't reply, turning to stare straight ahead. "What about summer camp is so important right now, Toby?"
He acted as if she hadn't spoken. "You were seven years old and you knew no one there. Melissa was with the older girls and you were by yourself. You told me once last year that you never took swimming lessons because you'd rather have learned academically," He waited for her to nod in confirmation. "Well, it was swimming day and you were not allowed to stay in your cabin and read Harry Potter, like you wanted to. I remember because I had been there before and was being trained as a junior life guard. They told me to watch you but you wouldn't even get in the water. The lifeguard that was training me tried to get you to just take a step in but you said you didn't know if the water was sanitary. Finally, one of the counselors got you to go but only after you got floaties and custom goggles that didn't squeeze your head." He chuckled, looking at her pursed lips. She knew what happened next. "You went into the water and you struggled to stay floating. You were flapping your arms too hard and panicked when the camp counselor let go. You accidentally peed yourself in the pool." He couldn't hide his smirk as she turned her head away to face forward, clearly repressing an embarrassed laugh. "After that all the other kids were laughing and you looked like you were going to cry. I felt so bad for you but then you just. . .got this fierce look in your eyes and you swam to the side of the pool and took off your floaties and tried to swim without them. I remember thinking how brave you were." He smiled, running a hand through her hair, pushing it back so he could see her face better as she still wasn't facing him. "Then, one moment I'm talking to the life guard about the importance of CPR training, the next he's blowing his whistle. I turned and looked and you were laying at the bottom of the pool. I didn't think, I just jumped in after you and helped two life guards pull you out. They had to give you mouth to mouth and they were so worried you needed an ambulance but you. . ." He paused, shaking his head. "You came back with a vengeance. You started yelling at one of the lifeguards, saying you were looking for Merpeople and you knew for a fact that you saw a Grindylow in the bottom of the pool. You were so angry that they had stopped you before you could capture it. The look on the life guard's face was priceless. He had no clue what to say." Toby moved his hand to rub her shoulder blade. "Do you remember what I said?" Spencer shook her head, although the look on her face implied she did. "I said that the next time you decide to go looking for Merpeople and Grindylow, you had to take me with you."
Spencer shook her head, a smile breaking out across her face despite the fact she was trying to hold it back. "I can't believe you remember that!"
"I can't believe my dad remembered that," Toby grinned back.
She laughed to herself for a second. "So is there a reason you suddenly want to go back down memory lane, Tobes? I mean, we've only been dating for over a year and we've never mentioned Camp Saginaw before."
"I was just thinking. . ." He stated, rubbing the sleeve of her sweater between his thumb and pointer finger, feeling the friction and the cotton.
"About how I wet myself and then drowned in nine feet deep water?" Toby chuckled but didn't respond. After silence for a few minutes, Spencer spoke. "Did it ever happen again?" She asked, softly, looking up at him. "Did I ever drown again?"
He didn't respond at first, moving his hand from her sleeve into her hair, stroking it. "You tell me, sweetheart." When she just looked at him blankly, he added, "You don't need water to be drowning."
Spencer looked at him for a solid minute, her face feeling hot and wet, before she realized she had started to cry again. Without thinking, she climbed into Toby's arms.
She realized unconsciously how well she fit there. Her love. Her safe place to land. The arms, even at just eight years old, that had saved her from drowning.
Spencer began to think she belonged there. Maybe she always had.
Maybe she always will.