Disclaimer: I don't own Host.
A/N: So much for not updating regularly - it is just so much fun to write oneshots. Once again, I encourage requests, it won't be long before I run out of ideas. Also this is way shorter than the others, the others were around 2000 words this doesn't even qualify as 1000 so sorry about that.
This is a Kyle and Jodi one I suppose but it's told from the point of view of a jealous Sunny.
Title: Never Good Enough.
Sunny's P.O.V
I watched them enviously, wishing that I was in her position, but no I wasn't good enough. When she had left him and I had picked up the pieces, I thought I had a chance that he would see what a good for nothing person she was and move on, move on to me.
I had done everything he'd asked in the hope that one day he would wake up and take one look at me and go: Damn, how did I never notice this girl in front of me, the one who helped me, the one I fell in love with without realising it? But that never happened, I just remained the best friend who would sacrifice everything for a little love and appreciation.
And then went she came back and begged his forgiveness, he caved into her will with the slightest of touch, and I was cast aside as the friend and nothing more, nothing special, nothing to be bothered with.
I stayed though, partly because I still held on to the impossible hope that he might realise how much I loved him and how much he loved me too, partly because it hurt too much to just walk away after everything I had done, even though I knew that I wasn't good enough.
I craved his touch, whether it was an accidental touch, a welcoming hug or a brush of his hands. I craved the sound of his voice too, his rough, deep voice that I would only imagine on an angel of the highest rank in heaven. Oh, how I wish that he had picked me over her, but no, I wasn't good enough.
He didn't ignore me, oh no not by any means, I don't know if that hurt more than being ignored but I wasn't ready to find out. We still hung out but usually Jodi was with him, ruining my time with him and he would drop me in a heartbeat if Jodi wanted to spend time with him. We still texted, but he was hopeless at remembering to buy credit, and had given up his one free person than to none other, yup you guessed it, Jodi. And all this happened because I wasn't good enough.
I stood by him and never fought with him, went to all his big games and cheered him on, comforted him when he and his team lost. Always agreed with him and made sure that he was on top things like schoolwork and homework. I made sure that he was well rested too. Remembered his birthday and was never bitter when he didn't remember mine. At one stage I even baked him cookies just because he told me that he hadn't tasted homemade ones in a long time because his mother never had time any more. Yet for some unphantomable reason, I wasn't good enough and she was.
I watched them kiss in the rain and hopelessly wished that it was me. I helped set up their dates on a number of occasions, imagining it was me attending them and often the thought of sabotaging them crossed my mind but I wasn't that heartless... I am sure that if Jodi was in my position that she would have sabotaged them because she was selfish and wouldn't even stop to think that Kyle's happiness came before hers. I should have been his girlfriend, the love of his life, but I wasn't good enough...
I never was and never will be and that hurts my heart more than anything because I know that I am his soulmate, his other half, but if he never gives me a chance how will he know?
I'm not supposed to be a bitter person, my name is Sunny after all, but when you are ignored and pushed away by the person you love, bitterness starts to build up pretty fast and before you can stop it, bam! You are a whole new person, full of hatred and regrets, all because you weren't good enough.
So I walk away and leave them be, leave for college and pretend to Kyle that I will keep in touch, but I won't and I think he knows it too deep down inside. And I will sleep every night, forever haunted by the fact that I was never good enough... Not for him and not for anybody