If Anyone Asks
If anyone asks, I'm fine.
Great.
Super.
Hunky-dory.
Zip-a-dee-doo-dah.
Of course, they might not ask
(They've seen this stuff before),
But in case they do,
That's what I'll say.
I'm fine.
. . .
Actually, that's not true.
I'm lying on my bed
With a bump on my head
And an ache in my heart,
Thinking, "Jiminy jaminy,
What did I do wrong
This time?"
. . .
Everyone probably thinks I'm pretty clumsy.
I've hit my head on a cupboard door,
Slipped on a patch of ice,
Tripped over a tree root,
Even fallen from a ten-story building
(And lived).
Plus, there's the classic
Walked-into-a-door excuse.
I don't know how many times that's happened.
But I'm a video game character.
I regenerate.
I live.
I'm still here.
I'm fine.
. . .
It's a little embarrassing, though,
To have everyone look at you
As you walk through Game Central Station
And ask what happened.
Thank Code for my hammer.
It's great for fixing things.
It's great for fixing the cut lip,
The missing teeth,
The black eye,
The broken nose,
The bruised rib,
The broken heart.
. . .
Okay, not so much the last one.
But it's fine.
Really.
. . .
I don't think I can remember
What Tammy was like
Before all this started.
Was she always so violent?
There was that time in the Nesquik sand . . .
But I thought that was just
To make the Laffy Taffies laugh.
It wasn't because she hated me.
. . .
Oh my land!
That's a horrible thought!
Of course she doesn't hate me.
She loves me.
She doesn't mean to be like this.
It's in her code to be violent.
It's in her code to have traumatic memories
That make her angry.
And what she does . . .
It's just me.
It's my fault,
A lot of it.
But I'll try harder next time.
And if something goes wrong,
I can fix it.
. . .
So . . . yeah.
If anyone asks, I'm not fine.