Disclaimer: All aspects of Once Upon A Time belong to ABC and the show's creators.

Mary Margaret found Emma under a lump of covers the next morning, a mess after not sleeping or taking her painkillers at all. Emma gripped the blankets in tight fists, groaning as Mary Margaret panicked above her, begging for Emma to tell her what was wrong. But Emma wasn't coming out. Mary Margaret couldn't make her. If she came out she would have to face what she had done. Which she desperately did not want to do.

The mattress shifted as Mary Margaret tossed herself down beside Emma and pressed her face against the blankets, recognizing that brute force wasn't going to get Emma to come out. Emma needed the gentle touch of Mary Margaret's mothering instinct and her friend had pulled her back from her breaking point enough to know that. "If you tell me what happened I won't make you come out," she said, voice muffled by the cotton. "Come on, sweetheart."

"Jones told me he loved me." Emma's dejected tone clashed with the squeal Mary Margaret made at the news. Emma cringed and started to cry again. She shouldn't have said anything. Mary Margaret just didn't understand why she was so scared. She had David, her prince charming. She didn't have to worry about getting hurt if she let herself be vulnerable.

Mary Margaret's arm snaked over Emma's body, hugging her tightly. Emma moved so her arms could be free from the comforter and grabbed Mary Margaret, pulling her closer, suddenly craving contact. She wanted to be comforted. Mary Margaret made shushing noises into Emma's shoulder, rubbing her back in soothing circles until the sobbing quieted.

"Tell me what happened after he told you, Emma."

"I told him I couldn't do this and hung up. I ruined everything," Emma replied, biting down on her quivering lip. Killian had been the one good relationship she had ever had. Killian had never pushed her to do anything she didn't want to do. Emma made all the calls in order to keep her feeling safe. And even that hadn't been enough. Killian had given her everything and she couldn't cut it. Surprise, surprise. Emma had always known she would never be enough because of her past. This had just proved it.

"Why would you say that?" Mary Margaret asked gently.

"Jones used the same words that Neal did."

"Oh, Emma," Mary Margaret cried, holding her tighter. "Killian isn't Neal. Killian would never hurt you."

"I didn't think Neal would either before he hit me." And there it was. Why she still couldn't trust Killian, even though she was pretty sure she felt the same way as he did. She had loved Neal and he had only hurt her. Even though she recognized that Killian and Neal were two totally different people there was still that lingering fear that he would change once he got her, that he was just luring her in with his charm before trapping her.

"Do you really think, deep down, that Killian would hurt you? Even by accident?"

The image of Killian on his knees in the hospital garden flashed before her. Killian had just touched her shoulder and surprised her that time and just that had nearly made him break down. That reaction had been to something unintentional. Emma knew that Killian would be physically unable to hurt her on purpose. It was that fear that Neal had instilled in her that clouded and distorted her thoughts.

"No," Emma answered, voice small.

"Exactly." Mary Margaret reached over and pried the blanket away from Emma's face and gave her a gentle smile. "So did you officially break up with him?"

"I didn't tell him that. I just kind of hung up."

Mary Margaret nodded and kissed Emma's cheek. "Okay, that's good. We can fix this."

"How?"

"First- do you want to get back with Killian?"

Emma nodded. "Yes. I miss him so much already." She wanted Killian there now, arms around her, holding her hand when she cried. As soon as she'd hung up the previous night she'd realized that, realized that she might never get that again. And that had been devastating, spurring on the tears. Because for once, losing something had been Emma's fault, not the foster family's fault or an angry boyfriend's. She'd caused the destruction all on her own. She couldn't believe she hadn't learned from all the times she'd been left before that were out of her control. Emma should have known better and she knew that. She knew that now.

"Okay. So when he gets home in two days go meet him at the dock and explain why you freaked out. Killian will understand when you tell him about Neal's words."

"I don't deserve Killian," Emma muttered. Mary Margaret grasped her hand tightly.

"Yes, you do. You deserve to be happy and I haven't seen you as happy as I have with Killian ever. Or at least not since Neal. Don't throw everything away because you're scared of getting hurt."

"There's only so many times Killian will forgive me before he runs," Emma muttered.

"Killian will forgive you as many times as you ask. Because that's what love is." Mary Margaret gave Emma's hand a squeeze. "I need you to tell me something, before you do anything, okay? Because Killian doesn't deserve to get hurt any more than you do."

"What?"

"Do you love Killian?"

Did she? Emma wasn't sure she knew what love was but she knew that she missed Killian, that she craved him and worried for his safety when he wasn't with her. She knew that she found him incredibly attractive. She knew she respected him for how caring he was despite losing the one person he looked up to as a hero at a young age and being alone to process his guilt. It hadn't turned him into some awful person. Killian was a gentleman, just like Liam had been. She was proud of him for getting what he wanted in his career, for honing his intelligence and staying committed to the dream he had shared with her as a young teenager. She was still stunned at how he had taken her to his house after her foster parent had beaten her all those years ago, how he didn't even stop to think about his own safety when he grabbed her and pulled her out of the house, foster parent shouting after them. She felt safe with him, secure and less lost. She felt cherished, like she was something valuable. She felt loved. So did she love him?

"Yes."

"Make sure he knows that on Friday, okay? Do you think you can tell him?"

Emma took a deep breath. Killian would be the first person to hear her utter those words since Neal. Killian would be the first person she allowed herself to love since Neal. "Yes."

Before Mary Margaret could respond her phone went off in her pocket. She shifted so she could fish it out and held it up to her ear, mouthing David before she answered. Emma had already known it was her husband though because of the ringtone. David had two ringtones programmed into Mary Margaret's phone, one for work and one for his personal phone. The staccato beeping that had trilled from the pocket of Mary Margaret's skinny jeans belong to David's work phone.

"Yeah, I'm with her," Mary Margaret answered confused. Her face blanched as she listened to David and she worried at her lip, staring at Emma. It was the same look Emma vaguely remembered from the ambulance dock, the one that said only bad things, fear and sadness mingling to distort her fine features. Emma pushed herself up and grabbed Mary Margaret's shoulder, squeezing tightly. Her stomach flipped and she was filled with dread. Something bad had happened. Emma's mind raced as she tried to remember the scheduling for the police station. Had Graham been shot? Was David hurt and calling to let them know?

"What happened?" Emma asked, voice cracking as she fought the urge to grab the phone from Mary Margaret and demand David to tell her what was going on. Mary Margaret hung up and sat up as well, running her tongue over her lips as she stalled for time. Emma braced herself.

"The police have been called to assist the coastguard. There was a fire onboard a boat and casualties have been reported. They're docking now."

"What boat?" Emma asked, her voice being stolen by her panic. She didn't want to know the answer but she knew she had to.

"The Northern Osprey."