A/N: Thank you all for the kind reviews and just reading my story in general! I really can't thank you all enough!
Disclaimer: All aspects of Once Upon A Time belong to ABC and the show's creators.
Emma and Will stayed in Killian's hospital room for the entire night. Thankfully the nurse who was handling Killian remembered Emma from her own stay and the way that the two had interacted so she didn't make Emma leave him alone to rest. Will set himself on a chair on the opposite side of the bed and quietly waited for his friend to wake up again. Emma did the same. Killian didn't wake up again that day, or if he did he didn't open his eyes to let them know. The only action in the room was when David showed up with supper and when the nurse came to push morphine into Killian's IV every few hours. She seemed sympathetic to Emma and Will, both looking lost as they watched their unconscious friend, but she didn't really have anything to say that would help ease their worried minds. Because of that Emma was glad she didn't say anything at all.
Sometime around nine o'clock the next morning Will got up to go get them breakfast at the coffee shop across the street. Emma stayed with Killian in case he woke, leaning forward towards his sleeping face but not touching him. She watched his chest rise and fall at a steady pace and had to stop herself from crawling onto the bed and laying her cheek on his chest now that Will was gone. The heart rate monitor he was hooked up to beeped steadily, the sound doing much to reassure her that Killian would be fine with time.
As she watched him his face began to contort in pain, lips twisting against each other. His forehead furrowed, eyebrows being drawn together and he pinched his eyes shut tighter. Something was haunting his sleep, torturing him and he was vainly trying to escape the prison sleep had created for him. A small whimper escaped him as his head tossed across the pillow. The heart rate monitor sped up as he started to thrash. Emma stood and reached out, holding his injured arm to his chest so he wouldn't smash it against the bedframe.
"Jones, come on, wake up," she murmured, giving him a little shake. Killian flinched away from her touch but she lunged after his contorting body and shook him again. She pulled her other arm from her sling so she could use it to brush the damp hair from his forehead.
Killian roused with a heart breaking whimper, eyes blown wide by the nightmare as he took in Emma standing over him. He shut his eyes again tightly before opening them slowly, as if he couldn't believe he was safe and that Emma was there. She ran her fingers down his cheek and into the stubble that had gotten thicker since she last saw him two weeks prior. He would need to shave soon or it would be a full blown beard. A pang went through Emma when she realized he'd have to learn how to do it one handed now. She pushed the thought away and concentrated on the now.
"It's okay, you're okay," she said, resting her hand against his chest where she could feel his heart beating rapidly against her palm. She pressed against the pulsating spot, trying to reassure him of her presence and get him to calm down.
"Swan," he breathed once the violent pounding of his heart had lessened to a rapid snare drum beat. Killian shifted over in the bed and glanced at the newly open space on the mattress. Emma knew what he wanted because she wanted it as well; contact, reassurance that things weren't all breaking apart even if they weren't sure what they were anymore. Emma sat gently and pulled her legs up onto the bed so they rested beside his, crossing her ankles. She didn't lie down, instead waiting to see what Killian wanted.
His chest heaved as he shook off the last of his dream, eyes trained at the ceiling. Emma watched him rubbing soothing circles onto his chest. Eventually he turned to her, eyes glassy from all the morphine. Killian searched her face as best as he could in his unfocused state before reaching up his uninjured hand and grasping the fabric of her sweater. He pulled her down towards him, wrapping his arm around her and holding her fast. It was only when she was pressed against him that she realized he was shaking. She looped her bad arm around him and pulled him tighter against her, not even feeling the aching pull of her partially healed shoulder muscle.
She made shushing noises into his neck as she waited to the emotions running through him to slow. "I was back there, on the ship," he whispered after a while, words slightly slurred. Emma pushed herself up the bed so she was on even eye level with him. She nodded for him to continue. Telling her his fears would help ease the pain. She knew it would because she had spent many years without someone to tell her own to. "The pipe fell and pinned me down. It was so hot, Swan. Will tried to free me but then he left. And all I could think about was how I was left there to die and that you would find out by the news or something and think that I left you just like everyone else. And it hurt so much. I just wanted it to end but I didn't want to leave you without making things better. And then I saw my hand, or well, what was left of it and I think I passed out."
"It's over now, nothing is going to hurt you," Emma told him, mouth pressed against his shoulder.
"It doesn't feel that way," he replied, his usually lilting voice thick. "It feels like you're here because you feel bad and as soon as I'm up you're going to take off because I can't be what I used to be."
"I'm here because I love you," Emma answered firmly.
"But do you love me because now I'm broken too and you're guilty and feel pity because I'd otherwise be alone?"
Emma sat up and angrily pushed him away. Killian jostled against the pillow with a groan. "How dare you imply that I only love you now because you're just as broken as me? How dare you think that that's the only way I can be with you? I don't pity you. I love you, Killian Jones. You should know how much I hate saying those words because of how scary they are, because if I'm wrong about you it will be Neal all over again. But I'm saying them because I damn well mean them, Jones. But if you don't want me to then I'll be on my merry way." She goes to stand but Killian reached out and caught her wrist. He pulled her down again before struggling to sit up next to her.
Despite her anger at him Emma looped an arm around his back to support him. Killian looked too pale to be expending his energy sitting up alone. He turned to her one he was stable against her arm, staring intently at the way her teeth worried at her bottom lip. "I just want to make you happy, Swan."
"Then let yourself be okay. I'm here. I'm okay. You're here. You're going to be okay in time. Isn't that enough?" she asked quietly. His eyes flickered downwards, insecure, before looking back up.
"If you think it is then I'm willing to try."
"Good," Emma replied with a nod. She couldn't ask for more. She wouldn't push because she hated to be pushed. Killian leaned forwards and pressed a quick kiss to her lips. He eased back before Emma could react and sunk his head against the pillow. Emma adjusted herself beside him, sitting with her back against the wall at the head of the bed.
There was a hesitant knock on the door and Emma glanced towards it to see that Will had returned, standing there, unsure whether to intrude on the moment the two had been having or just leave. Emma jerked her head to motion him in and gave him a smile. She still wasn't sure what to make of Will, of the way he had tried so hard to save Killian, of the way he had spoken to her on the phone before all this happened. She wasn't sure how to act around Will but she knew she was grateful towards him.
Will entered the room, a brown paper bag balanced on his hip and pinned to his side by the crook of his arm so that it wasn't touching his burned palms directly. He set the bag down on the bed and sat down in his chair. "How are you feeling, Jones?" he asked as he rooted out two wrapped bagels and a tray of carefully balanced coffees. Emma was impressed that he had managed not to spill the drinks while they were in the bag.
"I've been better," Killian replied. The two men glanced at each other, measuring reactions. Emma knew Will was scared Killian was still upset at him. Will had screwed up pretty badly with Killian lately but Emma didn't think Killian would hold his anger too long when the damage done hadn't turned out to be permanent. She reached over and unwrapped a bagel, breaking off a piece and offering it to Killian. Killian took it and motioned to her. "I take it you've met Swan already?"
Will nodded in agreement. Emma was glad that Will didn't mention their first meeting, how she had cried in the waiting room the previous day. That would only upset Killian further. "I apologized to her for what I did."
"Good." Killian bit into the bagel, a dollop of jam falling from the bread to rest on his chin. Emma reached over and wiped it off with her thumb, the casualness of her own movements shocking her. Killian glanced sideways at her but Emma concentrated on Will.
"Will stayed all night, Jones. I was thankful for the company," Emma told him, feeling defensive for Will. Killian glanced at Will and then nodded.
"Thank you," he said quietly. "For watching out for her when I couldn't." Emma offered Killian another piece of her bagel instead of saying anything to that. Killian pushed himself upwards before he took the bagel. Will leaned forwards and hit the button to incline the bed under Killian so he wouldn't have to support himself. Killian shot him a grateful smile, settling against the mattress with a sigh. Emma adjusted herself next to Killian and took a sip of her coffee.
A nurse came in as they ate, carrying a syringe. She held it up for Killian to see. Emma tried to make herself small on the bed so the nurse wouldn't kick her off it. She liked the way her leg pressed Killian's and the warmth and solidness to it, even though a blanket covered him. She didn't want to have to sit alone in an uncomfortable chair. "Do you want any painkillers, Killian?" she asked.
Killian shook his head. Emma moved to tell him that he didn't need to be strong if he was in pain but the nurse returned with a cart before she could say anything. The nurse motioned for Emma to move and parked the cart at the edge of the bed. Emma slipped down to the space by Killian's feet.
"We have to bathe and rewrap the hand. Would you two please leave?" Will stood immediately and moved towards the door. Emma hesitated. Killian hadn't left her when the bandages on her shoulder were changed. She didn't feel right leaving him.
"Can't Swan stay?" Killian asked. Emma knew he felt the same way she did after just one look at the poorly masked apprehension in his eyes.
"She won't like what she sees," the nurse said, cautioning. "Do you want her to see?"
Before Killian could respond Emma slid back up the bed to sit beside him. "I was shot a few weeks ago. Jones saw the bullet holes. I don't mind seeing his hand." She turned to Killian, checking to see what he thought of the nurse's words. Worry clouded his eyes. "Do you want me to close my eyes?"
Killian nodded. Emma was pretty sure he wasn't going to be watching the process either. Her suspicions were confirmed when he ducked his head against her shoulder. Emma held his head there by pressing her cheek against his ear. The room was filled with the sounds of gauze being taken off Killian's hand, his whimpered curses when the bandage pulled the healing skin. The sound of trickling water followed as his hand was dipped in saline water. The nurse told him it was looking good but Killian just snorted in response, his breath huffing out against Emma's neck. Ointment was rubbed on the burnt skin before it was rewrapped. The nurse stepped back and told them they could look now.
Emma opened her eyes and glanced at Killian's hand. A heavily padded splint now held his hand in place, his individually wrapped fingers sticking out the top, separated and able to move freely. The nurse motioned to the slightly swollen digits.
"Move them whenever you can, whatever you can. We don't know the extent of the damage yet but there will be total immobility if you let the skin harden, whether the nerves are still connected or not."
Emma nodded and thanked the nurse. Total immobility. She wasn't going to let that happen. Not when Killian would regret it so much later. She would get him to move. If he even can. The thought echoed through her mind but she tried not to pay any attention to it. She turned back to Killian's face. He was staring at the opposite wall. Emma held her hand out flat, setting it on his thigh when he didn't immediately notice her movement. He glanced up at her. Emma wiggled her fingers.
"What if they don't move, Swan?"
"Then we figure out what the next step will be. But you'll never know if you don't try." She wiggled her fingers again, inching closer to where Killian's injured hand sat.
Killian lifted his arm and held it over Emma's hand, just a few centimeters of space between their index fingers. Emma waited with baited breath, watching Killian's face instead of his hands. Killian concentrated on his hand, tongue darting out to moisten his lips as he focused. Killian cursed when he didn't immediately succeed, his face paling at the realization that he would never move his hand again. Emma placed her other hand on his shoulder and made him look up at her. She ran the hand up his jaw and cupped the stubble of his cheek.
"Come on, try again," she urged, pressing the tips of her fingers into his skin.
Killian shook his head, a look of utter devastation flitting across his eyes as he scanned the room, looking anywhere but at his hand or her face. Emma dug her fingers in harder to make him look up again.
"Do it," she told him. "For me."
Killian shut his eyes at her words but when he opened them they held more determination than they had the first time he tried to move his hand. Killian would do this for her, simply because she asked. Emma locked eyes with him so he wouldn't look at his hand, willing him to succeed. The only sound in the room was the mechanical beeping of his heart.
And then there it was. A brush, barely there, but from Killian's gasp she knew he had felt it too. Emma looked down to make sure she hadn't moved her own fingers in her desperation for some nerve to be still capable of firing in his hand. Her hand still rested against Killian's thigh but his last two fingers, his ring finger and pinkie, had dipped down and brushed across Emma's palm.
Emma leaned forward and pressed a kiss against his cheek. Her lips came away wet and she realized a tear had rolled down his cheek right before she kissed him. She shushed him and eased him back against the pillows before reclining the bed to a more comfortable resting position. The tear Killian had let slip was gone from his face but still lingered on her lips. She called out to Will because he'd been standing in the hallway for far too long and the moment between her and Killian had been just a little too intense for her to process right then.
"I did it," Killian stated, disbelief and awe colouring his voice, as Emma sat on the chair to give him the space of his bed back. Will joined them quickly, relief etched on his face when he saw that Killian had a mild smile playing across his lips.
"I know," she answered, tossing the remote for the tiny television in the corner to Will. It lit up and Will quickly flicked it to some soccer game Emma wasn't terribly interested in watching.
"I'd do anything for you," Killian murmured but by the time she had looked back at him he was already asleep and Emma wasn't sure if those were real words or dream words.