A/N: So here's a bit of a monster of a chapter that I'm actually both really excited and REALLY nervous for you all to read. Because it's got a bit of stuff in it that I've never done before. In this chapter there's a bit of sexy times but I really don't think it's explicit. If you don't want to read that part, because I'm sure some of you don't I've separated it by *s so just skip that part. I hope it's alright as this was my first attempt at that ever. Thanks for the reviews, follows and favourites! Enjoy!
Disclaimer: All aspects of Once Upon A Time belong to ABC and the show's creators.
Emma slid under the covers of her bed with a tired sigh. Killian sat on top of the covers beside her, rubbing lotion into his scarred skin with a determined focus. Emma watched him for a while as he rubbed the space where his nails should have been- he had actually lost his middle three because of the severity of the burns, so was waiting and hoping they would grow back. The way he worked was almost mesmerizing, the fingers of his good hand nimble and sure as they guided the stiff parts of his other hand in the routine to retain skin elasticity. Emma getting into bed while Killian took care of his hand had become a routine over the past two weeks.
Neither of them really discussed their living arrangements. Killian was fine to live on his own now, the frequency of his nightmares decreasing with each passing night, but he still made no move to go back to his place. And Emma didn't either. After the first night when sleeping in the same bed had happened out of necessity, each night it became easier to fall asleep with Killian beside her and trust him to keep her safe. She liked going to bed and knowing that Killian would be there, that she could frustrate him by sticking her cold toes against his calf and making him jump, that his light snores would tell her that he wasn't being pulled in by a nightmare. She liked knowing that even though they'd fall asleep on their separate sides of the bed she would always wake up with Killian's arms wrapped around her waist and one of his knees pushed between her legs as he pulled her as close to him as possible. She liked knowing that she wasn't alone.
Killian hadn't moved in. Staying at Emma's wasn't anything official since they hadn't actually talked about it but they went with it because it was natural, and comfortable. Emma didn't really see a point in either of them living alone when neither was cleared for work yet so spent the days together anyways. Slowly, over the past two weeks more and more of Killian's clothing had ended up in a pile in the corner of Emma's room. She wasn't ready to give him a drawer yet but she could handle the Mount Vesuvius of men's clothing on her floor.
Killian set his bottle of lotion on the bedside table next to Emma's own and rolled under the covers. The baby powder smell of the cream wafted over the bed as he turned on his side to face her, head propped up under his arm.
Emma stayed facing the ceiling. There was something she needed to ask him and it made her nervous. She'd never done such a thing before, hadn't even been able to comprehend that such an activity was possible for someone like her. And yet here she was, her boyfriend- yes, she'd finally started to call him that without internally flinching- right beside her as they prepared to go to bed, like your everyday normal couple.
"Jones?" Emma started, waiting for his response. When Killian hummed as a reply she took a deep breath and dove in, focusing on a tiny brown mark on the ceiling from where she'd killed a plaster mite a while ago. She didn't want to look at his face in case she saw something there she didn't want to see. "So, Thanksgiving is coming up."
"Aye, I am aware that specific holiday occurs next week." Killian's tone was amused. It was obvious that he'd picked up on Emma's nervousness. "What about it?"
"Well, I don't know what you do for it, but Mary Margaret and David come here and we have dinner together. Ruby comes sometimes but it just depends on how busy her family's restaurant is. If you wanted to come, you can, but you don't need to if you don't want to. I'm not making you. I just thought I'd offer-" Killian stopped Emma's self-conscious stream of speaking by placing a quick kiss against her rapidly moving lips.
"I usually spend the holiday with Robin since Jefferson takes his daughter to her grandparents place. The two of us break into Jeff's place later that night and eat whatever he takes home from Thanksgiving dinner. Neither one of us are big on cooking an entire meal for just the two of us."
"Well, if you want to spend the day with Robin, that's cool," Emma replied quickly. Of course he wouldn't want to spend the day with her. Emma wasn't experienced in asking someone to a family- or friend in her case- dinner. She'd actually never done it before. Automatically she began to assume that's she'd done it wrong. Her thoughts began to whirl- did she ask too soon? Was she supposed to wait until they had dated for longer? She'd never had anyone do such a thing for her either to help her knowledge base. Neal just left her for the holiday weekend at college when they dated, not even mentioning anything about a dinner and Mary Margaret and David were already together when they started the tradition with Emma.
"Swan, did you just ask me if I'd rather spend the day with Robin- my obnoxious friend- or you, the love of my life?"
Emma blushed furiously and rolled away from Killian, pressing her face against the pillow to hide the red hue of her cheeks. It still caught her off guard how forward Killian could be with his emotions. "Maybe," Emma mumbled, her voice muffled by the pillow.
Killian laughed and rolled her back towards him. A smirk pulled up the side of his face. "I'd love to celebrate Thanksgiving with you all," Killian told her sincerely, despite the twinge of amused laughter colouring his voice.
"You can bring Robin if you like," Emma told him quickly. The idea of Robin, who counted on Killian for plans for the holiday, being left alone so Killian could spend the day with her wasn't right. Emma didn't want anybody left alone on a day that was supposed to be about appreciating family and one's blessings. She'd spent too many alone herself.
"I'm sure he'd love that, Swan," Killian replied. "I'll call him tomorrow. But for now, relax," Killian grabbed her waist and pulled her over the cotton sheets until she rested flush against his chest. Grinning, Killian peppered the side of her face with kisses, trying to get her to relax her stiff muscles. After about the tenth kiss Emma smiled and pressed her face against Killian's firm chest. His strong arms tightened around her, filling her with a secure feeling. She fell asleep like that.
The week leading up to Thanksgiving passed in a blur. Grocery shopping had to be done and Killian had several doctor's appointments to check on his progress. Those meetings had gone well, with the doctor deciding that although the major motor neurons had been severed when the pipe fell on his hand and were unlikely to regrow, Killian might get some feedback again from the sensory neurons in his palm with time, a spot which he currently could only feel along the far edge. Emma knew Killian was trying not to get his hopes up because the improvement was not guaranteed but she also knew he wasn't succeeding at that when he let slip how wonderful it would be for him to be able to feel Emma's hand more concretely when she held his. Each day there was something to do so Emma was relieved when Thursday rolled around and all she had to do was help get ready for dinner.
Emma hummed comfortably as she woke Thursday morning. Killian had managed to go the whole night without a nightmare so she had slept through the night without waking to shake him from the images of fear that normally haunted him. Emma stretched, relishing the popping of her stiff joints and the relief that it brought. She glanced over to the other side of the bed where Killian slept on, looking quite at peace.
Killian must have felt her shifting because he opened one eye lazily then the next, smiling when he noticed her awake. A hand reached out and clasped hers, giving a slight tug. Emma shifted over in the bed so she was lying against his side. Killian began placing soft kisses up her jaw, stopping the warm presses of his mouth to her rapidly heating skin just below her ear so he could suck her earlobe into his mouth. Emma whimpered a bit at how the sensation conflicted with her sleep deadened senses, instantly waking her. Killian bit down, just enough to draw another whimper from Emma, before pushing himself up onto his elbows and moving to hover over her.
Killian dipped a bit and pressed his lips against Emma's. She angled her head to allow him better access; opening her mouth when he flicked his tongue against her bottom lip. She's not sure where all this was coming from, it wasn't even ten in the morning for crying out loud and they'd never done this before, but she felt ready to go with it. It felt right to do this the same day as the first time she ever had someone to invite to a special dinner, the first day she could officially prove she wasn't alone anymore, that she wasn't a forgotten child of the system.
Emma ran her hands up Killian's back, dipping her fingers underneath the hem of his shirt and pulling it up. She could feel the burn scars under her fingers as she moved and each time she found one, she rubbed a few gentle circles over the raised mark, earning a shiver against her mouth from Killian. Killian pulled back just long enough to ditch the rest of his t-shirt, having to sit up to do it so he didn't put too much pressure on his bad hand. Because he wanted this to last, he didn't want pain to block out Emma's prettily flushed face. Once the shirt was thrown off the bed he leaned back down against her mouth, kissing her deeply. Killian hummed his approval when Emma sucked his bottom lip into her mouth at the same time she ran a hand across his chest, scraping her nails against the skin just enough to mark it momentarily.
Killian pulled at Emma's shirt while they were still practically attached at the mouth and Emma ducked back with a laugh to move the fabric out of her way so she could reach his lips again. Killian let out a soft groan when he saw Emma shirtless, first moving to kiss her scarred shoulder reverently before drawing a path with his lips down to her chest and pausing there momentarily. The warm path continued, leading the way for the hot sparks that ignited deep in Emma's belly as he kissed around the waistband of her pajama pants. She sighed, too impatient for Killian to move seeing as Mary Margaret and David were due to arrive far too soon, and wriggled her pants off herself, using her feet to kick them somewhere deep inside the bed.
Killian rocked gently against her and Emma could feel him. And she wanted him. She rutted her hips upwards into him, looking for some action, for him to get on with it. Killian probably wanted their first time to be romantic and drawn out but Emma wasn't good at romantic and she really didn't want to get caught by a man who looked at her like a little sister and carried a loaded gun. Killian chuckled at her impatience and touched her where she wanted to be touched, whispering how beautiful she was as she moved beneath him. She came quickly, gasping at the way his hand continued to rub at her until her legs went weak and she was panting against the mattress.
And then it became instinctual. Both were caught up in the fact that this heat and need had been simmering just under the surface for ages, begging to be released. But neither were sure before, so many things had stood in their way and put this off. With the way Killian moved above her, rutting sharply against her, Emma knew that Killian was thinking about how much has stood in the way of this as well, and how determined he was to have Emma without something going wrong for once.
Just as Emma was coming down from the high a second time, Killian seated deep within her, she heard the click of the front door unlocking and the unmistakable voices of Mary Margaret and David fill the entryway. Shit. Killian froze above her mid thrust, and stared down at Emma, eyes wide.
"Emma, you up?" Mary Margaret yelled down the hallway.
"Uh, yeah, just woke up sorry. We slept in. Be out as soon as I shower and change." It was a fight to keep her voice even in her present situation but she did, a feat she was extremely proud of. Mary Margaret yelled back her acknowledgement and Emma heard steps move from the hallway to the kitchen. She released a slow breath.
Emma looked back up at Killian. She pushed him off and got up, tugging him towards the bathroom when he didn't immediately follow her. The shower started, completely covering the quick words she shot at Killian. "Be quick and be quiet."
Killian gave her a mischievous smirk, as if he thought that her friends arriving would be the end of their morning activities and that Emma would leave him hanging. But Emma still wanted Killian, for as freaked out as she was that they had been nearly caught on their first time, he was still the person she loved. She gave his good hand another tug, pulling him in the shower after her.
Emma made Killian wait ten minutes before coming out to join her in the kitchen with her friends after they finished in the shower. Not because she didn't want Killian with her but because her friends would know what they walked in on if they both walked out of her bedroom at the same time, hair sopping wet and Killian still wearing that lusty blush she'd left him with.
Emma slipped into the kitchen and grabbed the coffee pot, pouring herself some. Mary Margaret sidled up beside her and grabbed a piece of Emma's hair which was matted from where she had writhed against the pillow. She hadn't had time to comb it out and just hoped Mary Margaret would think it was from where she had towel dried her hair. Emma thought she'd gotten away with it when Mary Margaret spoke.
"Have a fun morning?" she asked slyly. Apparently not. Emma blushed hotly.
"I slept in," she replied innocently. "First night in a while without Killian's nightmares." Emma said that part loud enough for David to hear but he'd been oblivious to the conversation between the women anyways so the raise in volume was unneeded.
"Whatever you say," Mary Margaret intoned sweetly, stepping back.
Emma couldn't look at Mary Margaret or at Killian for the rest of the morning without feeling a blush climb up her fair cheeks. Because one knew and the other still looked absolutely out of it, smiling like a dork even when nothing funny was said. So Emma kept herself busy instead, peeling all the vegetables then chopping them while David and Killian moved to the living room to watch the customary football game.
Robin arrived around two in the afternoon carrying a bottle of wine and a case of beer. Emma took them from him at the door and ushered him in, where he greeted Killian loudly. Emma left Killian to do the introductions while she went to put the wine on the counter and open the beers for the men, who'd gone and become cavemen as the game went on, hooting and hollering at the players as if they could hear them and actually wanted to listen.
Once dinner was made, just finishing cooking on the stove, Emma slid into the spot on the couch next to Killian. She'd gone the whole day since that morning without touching him and she really was starting to miss the contact. Which shocked her but didn't really do much to dissuade her. Killian wrapped his arm around Emma, giving her a squeeze in greeting. Even though Killian was okay to be out in public with his hand showing, he was so much more comfortable in her house, open and pleased when surrounded by only friends. Emma could understand it but sometimes she just wished he would feel a bit better about himself, feel as good about himself as she felt about him.
"This is an upgrade from our usual, eh Jones?" Robin asked as the group sat at the table, the food spread out in front of them. Robin sat between Emma and Mary Margaret, Emma positioned in the seat next to her boyfriend, and David seated at the head of the table next to his wife.
"No microwaved leftovers," Killian replied, spooning some mashed potatoes onto his plate. "Or cranky Jefferson because he didn't remember to take enough for himself and us. Even though we do the same thing every year."
After everyone had filled their plates David clacked his knife against his glass, drawing everyone's attention. "I wanted to make a little toast, if I may," he said, raising his glass slightly. David glanced at Emma for her approval and she gave a little nod back, curious. Speech giving wasn't exactly a regular occurrence at their Thanksgiving dinners, though had been known to occur at Christmastime if it had been a particularly trying or momentous year. David took a deep breath before starting his speech.
"As you all probably know, Emma's had a hard go of it." Emma opened her mouth to try and stop the speech, embarrassed that it was going to be about her but Killian's hand shot across the table and grasped hers, silencing her with a squeeze. "Not only this year, what with getting shot while on duty and then dealing with Killian's injury." Emma squeezed Killian's hand back when he looked down at the mention of his disability. "But right from the very beginning. I know she thought because of the rough start she had, and then possibly the even rougher go at university, that she was a hopeless case. Emma was certain she would never find someone to make her happy. To love her because she was this girl with too many issues and too big of a background.
"But that wasn't ever the Emma I knew. The Emma I knew was beautiful and strong and determined. She put my work ethic to shame. It took me years to learn about Emma and to make her comfortable enough with me that I could say that yes, she actually is my sister, when people asked. Because that's how I see her, how I've always seen her. But I'd begun to believe that the familial love she had with us," David motioned to Mary Margaret and himself, "and Ruby was all she was going to find.
"And then you showed up, Killian and made Emma happier than I've ever seen her. She's more affectionate with you than anyone. She doesn't shy away from your touch. She smiles and laughs more, even if she deals with the haunting memories of her past coming up without warning. You've brought the Emma I've always known forward so the rest of the world can see her too. So thank you, Killian Jones. I owe you one." David raised his glass, nodded at Killian then swallowed some of the wine. The rest of the table drank as well, Emma lifting her cup to her lips with a shaking hand.
Mary Margaret was crying across from Emma and Robin was looking slightly stunned, if not a little uncomfortable. Robin wasn't really aware of everything that Emma had gone through so he was probably very confused. But Emma couldn't find it in herself to be embarrassed about Robin guessing anything about her past. Not when David had just said those things and made it so hard for her to breathe.
She pushed herself up from her seat and closed the distance between her spot and the head of the table in a single stride. David rose to meet her and enveloped her in a crushing hug, lifting her off the ground a little bit. Mary Margaret laughed wetly behind them.
"Thank you, you big sap," Emma told him, pressing her face against his shoulder as he tightened his arms around her.
"Love you, Emma," he murmured against her ear.
"Love you too, David," she replied and then stepped back when David released her.
Before Emma could sit down Killian had stood and caught her up, arms around her waist as he kissed her, a bit too passionately for a Thanksgiving Dinner if anyone were to ask Emma. Robin hooted from his seat and Killian moved his good hand from its position on Emma's back to flip his friend off, never once breaking the kiss.
Emma pulled back first, because this was dinner not make out time, and she was hungry. And all the attention was beginning to be a little much, even though she tried to pretend that it wasn't.
"Enough," she murmured to Killian who nodded understandingly.
"We'll continue this later," Killian practically purred against her ear. "Alone." She smacked him because David had definitely been able to hear and sat back at her meal to eat, ignoring the way David had stiffened at the comment.
And even though she was overwhelmed, her panic at being the center of attention didn't supress her laugh when Killian went to brush his sock foot down Emma's leg and did it to Robin instead. Because she was supposed to be happy. And watching Killian turn the same colour as the pickled beets on the table in his embarrassment made the laughter well up inside Emma like a geyser she couldn't control. And didn't want to either.