Know That Your Place Is With Me (Part II)
Written for Prompts in Panem Day 5 - Blue
Katniss looked around her at the sea of backs turned towards her and Peeta. The crisp, newly fallen snow was splattered with Peeta's blood, the wind howling over the droplets, making the snow clump together into the shape of red-black rubies. Her heart pounded with panic when she thought that it all belonged to Peeta and slowly, the realization of their condition made itself apparent to her. They'd been cast out and no one, under penalty of death, could help them.
"Peeta, please," she murmured close to his ear. "We have to go now. You have to get up." She pushed the hysteria away with a conscious effort when his only response was an incomprehensible moan. His back was in tatters - rivulets of blood and strips of skin made sickening crisscross designs along his back. Her hysteria quickly turned to rage at Thread's cruelty and she resisted the urge to bury a rock in his head. She focused instead on Peeta and getting him to his feet.
"Come on! Move! Please," she begged. The exile was a painful blow. Already, Katniss was shielding herself from the thought that she would not see her sister again, for fear that she would lose her mind. Later, she thought. She could fall apart later.
She looked at Peeta and his efforts to do as she asked, to get his legs underneath him and felt another wave of panic overtake her. Her Peeta, who loved her mindlessly, completely, who was willing to risk the ire of his family and his community to be with her, had taken a beating for her. The thought that she couldn't get him to where they needed to go, that something more could happen to him made her want to claw at her own skin.
Instead, she concentrated on what was in front of her. She cajoled him with loving words, and then with threats, told him that if he died, she would die right along with him.
"Is that what you want?" she said desperately.
Peeta didn't speak but simply shook his head, even that small motion clearly causing him pain. With a monumental effort, he steadied his legs and they made their way out of the square toward the main gates of District 12. Commander Thread waited together with his Peacekeepers, who lined the path towards the forest. They made slow progress because Peeta stumbled often, each step causing him excruciating pain. She knew they had left the safety of District 12 when they heard the giant gates roll back into place, slamming shut behind them with cold determination.
Katniss understood solitude. She had experienced loneliness. But there was an aloneness to their condition that she had never known in her life until that moment. She saw the snow-covered forest, once her refuge and the source of her safety, now a menacing monolith that stretched like a sea of terrors before her. For the first time in her life, she feared it. What was once the inviting green of her second home was now smothered in murderous white, her precious trees and plants covered in cannibalistic frost and ice. These woods had saved her over and over again, yet now they promised to take back everything they had given her and more. Peeta stood broken beside her and it now became her mission to save him at all costs.
XXXXX
6 months earlier
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Spring was Katniss' favorite time of year. The forest was more fragrant than at any other time. True, each season had its distinct aroma - the metallic moisture of snow, the decayed musk of autumn and the sharp heat of a summer's day. But spring brought everything else - the fresh, blooming flowers, the trill of new birds, an abundance of herbs and game - the wealth of things that kept her family alive.
This morning she was awake before dawn. She looked over at her little sister, who fell asleep in her bed last night. Prim was everything that was light and beautiful in her life - her golden yellow hair that was at the moment a messy braid, her light blue eyes that were as gentle as her character. Prim was empathy and kindness and all the things Katniss sometimes could not find in herself. This was fine for her, because if Katniss had to be hardened steel so that her sister could preserve those fine qualities, she would be that person.
Prim mostly slept with their mother, clinging to the slight older woman's frame, a figure who had once been considered beautiful and girlish but now was simply unremarkable. Father's death had sucked all the life out of her mother, like a twister in the plains, and left a hollowed out woman that occasionally forgot she still inhabited the world of the living. Her initial depression after that fateful explosion was so crippling, Katniss was forced to become the provider for the family. Though her mother was much better now and able to contribute to their collective care, Katniss still resented her abandonment and directed most of her attention to Prim.
"Katniss?" she turned over, her large blue eyes blinking blearily, attempting to adjust to the slowly rising sun.
"Hey, little duck," she whispered quietly.
"It's early," she moaned, burrowing into her pillows.
"I know. I'll be back later." Katniss smoothed her hair back from her forehead.
"You're always gone so long," Prim said sleepily. Suddenly, Katniss became nervous, as if her secret could be read in her face.
"I have to go out a ways so I don't get caught," she lied.
"Are there more Peacekeepers now on patrol?" she mumbled.
Katniss sighed. Getting caught sneaking out of District 12, whether to hunt or to meet Peeta, would be an unmitigated disaster. "No more than usual. Don't worry about me. I've been doing this for so long – there's no reason for me to get caught now, right?"
Prim opened her eyes again and Katniss was sure her lie would be discovered. "Is there something going on with you? You've been acting really strange lately."
Katniss was so very tempted to let Prim into her confidence, to tell her that something wonderful had happened, something at once amazing and terrifying that she had no words for. It had insinuated itself inside of her heart, without which she would no longer be happy.
"If you need to talk, I understand a lot more than what you give me credit for," she continued when Katniss did not answer right away. "You can tell me anything."
No, I can't, little duck. Because if I tell you, you would be worried sick about me or worse, you would try to discourage me. And though I would need to be scolded for being so stupid, for your good as well as mine, I'm too selfish to stop. "I'll keep that in mind," Katniss said with a false smile. "I'll see you later."
Prim turned her face back into the pillow to resume sleeping. "Just remember what I said."
Katniss didn't say anything further before she was out the door and underway.
XXXXX
The sun was rising in the sky by the time Katniss made her way to the fence. She didn't want to waste a moment with Peeta so she was taken by surprise by her best friend and one-time hunting partner, Gale Hawthorne. Ever since he started working in the mines, they barely saw each other anymore. He wore his mining uniform at the moment and, given the hour of the day, she was sure he was on his way to work. She was so happy to see him, she threw herself into his arms, forgetting for the moment the various complications of her life.
"Catnip!" he laughed, trying to stay upright as she slammed into him. "Where are you off to?"
"Hunting, something you hardly ever do anymore," she groused.
"Oh, I've been out a few times. You'd be surprised at what you see in the woods." Gale's face became serious.
Katniss' stomach fell to her feet. "What are you trying to say?"
Gale gave her a long, hard stare, the kind that made her feel like he could see right through to her deepest thoughts. Looking around him. "Listen, can you do me a favor?"
Katniss became worried. She knew him too well. "What is it?
"Can you be careful? You're not just getting game out there and you could get into a whole heap of trouble if you get caught."
Katniss felt the blood drain from her face and made to protest but Gale stopped her. "Hey, I'm not going to sell you out. You're secret's safe with me. You know how I feel about this whole stinkin' system." Gale leaned into Katniss' ear. "You're not the only one in that predicament. But blood laws are no joke. The Capitol prefers murder to mixing blood. You got that?"
Katniss felt terror unfurling in her stomach. She thought of Peeta, Prim, her mother, even Gale himself - and how catastrophic it would be for all of them if the authorities caught on to her rendezvous. And yet she did not know if she possess the means any longer to be without Peeta. Her thinking was interrupted by the mining whistles.
"I have to go but think about what I'm telling you." He squeezed her to him before releasing her to hurry off to work.
XXXXX
Katniss found Peeta sitting outside the cabin, sketching on his pad. She shook off the unease of her conversation with Gale in her anticipation of being with Peeta. She treaded silently so he didn't notice right away when she'd arrived. He had learned the way to their secret place and sometimes visited the cabin on his own to draw or sketch but mostly, he came to be with Katniss. He lifted his head upon her approach, a brilliant smile lighting up his face. Katniss was so bedazzled by his sincere happiness at seeing her, she forgot the rudimentary mechanics of how to walk and stumbled over a branch.
Peeta set his sketch book aside and stood when she was before him. She studied his features, even though it had only been a few days since they'd seen each other. Without a word of greeting, she stood on her tip-toes and placed a chaste but lingering kiss on his lips, which he responded to right away by scooping her up in his strong arms and pulling her to him. His mouth was achingly warm and soft and she loved the things he could do with it – the way his lips gave way so easily to the slightest pressure from her as they did now, the heat they brought when they rested on her neck and shoulders. They tasted unmistakably like him and she knew, because she had done it before, that she could kiss him for hours on end.
When they'd kissed to the point of breathlessness, Katniss made to take his hand when it became apparent that exhaustion tugged at the corners of his eyes. Katniss furrowed her brow in concern.
"Didn't you sleep?" she asked, touching his cheek with the tips of her fingers.
"Yeah. I was just up earlier than usual." His smile widened and Katniss sensed that there was something he was keeping from her.
"And why would you be up any earlier than usual today?"
Peeta gave her another sly smile and tugged on her hands. "You'll see soon enough. Close your eyes."
"Peeta…" said Katniss in warning. "I don't like surprises."
"You'll like this one. Come on." He took her hand before the threshold of the cabin. "Eyes, please…"
"Alright!" said Katniss impatiently but already giddy with excitement. She would never in her life have described any of her moods as giddy but here she was, as silly as a merchant schoolgirl.
She heard Peeta open the door and allowed him to pull her inside. The smell was the first thing that assaulted her and she grinned like an idiot. "Cheese buns…" she whispered.
"Open your eyes," he whispered nervously. Katniss blinked several times, not because she couldn't see but because she couldn't believe her eyes.
"I know it's not much to look at but it's better than it was before," Peeta said when she remained speechless for several long moments. The broken down little cabin had been transformed by Peeta. The walls and floor were the same but it was cleaner. He had apparently scrubbed and polished all the wood, from the rafters down to the benches. He'd also removed the ash from the hearth and the cobwebs from the corners. The table was covered with an emerald green cloth and in the middle sat a small, chipped vase decorated with painted wildflowers, including several yellow dandelions and some that had already turned fluffy white.
The frame that had been built and elevated as a kind of bed was covered with a makeshift pad of old blankets and two worn throw cushions that served as pillows. The duvet was a tacky bright orange, blue, and green confection that, under normal circumstances, would have made Katniss wrinkle her nose. Now, it became one of the most precious things she possessed simply because it was connected to Peeta. The small window above the bed and table were covered with material the same colors as the duvet but also somewhat worn and frayed. It was clear it was a discarded set that Peeta had made good use of.
Katniss was moved by it and felt an involuntary tear slip out the corner of her eye. She tried to hide it but Peeta had already caught sight of it.
"Hey! This was supposed to make you happy! Not cry," he said, wiping the rebellious tear drop from her cheek.
Katniss gave him a watery smile. She hated to cry but her throat was filled with the salty heat of unshed tears. "It does make me happy. No one…" she took a ragged breath, "no one has ever done something like this for me."
"I'll do these things for you, as much as you want me to, for as long as you'll let me stay." Peeta engulfed her in his arms and Katniss melted into their sturdy safety. She had never felt as safe as she did with Peeta and it made their predicament even more painful to her.
"You could just stay...always…" she whispered in his ear, her nose getting lost in his curly blond hair.
Katniss felt him nod and say, "Okay," as his lips ghosted over her neck and shoulders, making her shiver. He left small kisses along her jaw until his mouth covered hers and he kissed her in that way that made Katniss weak in the knees. She glanced at the bed he'd made for them and blushed with the images that came to her mind; a pool of warmth spread throughout her body. She smiled to herself, feeling as airy as the soft breeze that poked its way through the curtains. She tugged Peeta over to the bed and sat on it, bouncing softly to test it.
"When did you do this?" she asked, holding his large hand, drawing designs on his open palm.
"I was up here a few days in a row. I figured you wouldn't be out here since you said you'd be helping your mother." He gave her a devilish grin that made her want to lick his mouth from one end to the other.
"You're devious," she said but her mind was befuddled by the way his mouth moved. Peeta watched her obvious fixation with the movement of his lips and closed the space between them, kissing her at first languidly, then with more passion until she responded to him, her lips falling open to receive him. She ached instantly for him and pulled him towards her. Lately, their kisses had become more and more heated and it was always more difficult to stop.
It was no different now as her hands moved of their own accord into his thick hair, over the rope of muscles that bunched in his shoulders and back. Her hand slipped under his t-shirt to feel his skin there and the strumming rhythm of his heart beneath her fingertips. Perhaps it was the season, where everything seemed so fresh and full of possibility, or the air that smelled of blooming trees and him, everywhere him, but Katniss wanted to feel him against her.
Peeta groaned into her mouth when her fingers grazed his nipples. In response, he gripped her hips and pulled her to straddle over his lap. Her boldness was rewarded when he yanked her shirt out of her pants and ran both hands, palm open, over her bare back, causing every muscle in her back to quiver in excitement. Sitting as she was, she felt his hard erection and ground against him, the heat from her belly spreading like a wild-fire throughout her body.
Katniss felt reckless and bold on their – it had become their – bed, pulling off his shirt to shower kisses along his chest. They'd never gone this far before and she was suddenly in an undiscovered country of sensations that overwhelmed her and made her hungry for everything at once. She stopped kissing him, breathing deeply to control herself and get her bearings. Peeta, who understood her without her having to speak, closed his eyes and caught his breath also, holding her close to him.
Her fingers took on a life of their own and danced across his chest, a delicate minuet that would have tickled except that Peeta's body was a live wire, taut with the tension of desire that had been long in building. Katniss pushed him down onto the bed and let her fingers move down the valley between his chest muscles, catching the trail of hair that began at his chest, sloped down over his stomach, and continued still lower. Katniss fumbled with the button of his trousers, his muscles trembling at every pass of her fingers over his skin.
Katniss leaned on her elbow, looking over at Peeta's face, whose eyes were still closed. She bent to kiss his lips gently and gave in to a primitive curiosity. She removed her jacket, laying it gently on the floor behind her and pulled down the zipper of his pants, his erection tenting against the material of his underwear. Peeta's eyes flew open when she began to tug his pants over his thighs and seemed to be at war with himself, finally giving in and lifting his hips to help her move the pants along. He groaned loudly when she gripped the length of him through his underwear, moving her hand over his hardness. He bucked into her hand, watching her as she smoothed her hand over and over him, the tension of her gentle pleasure contorting his features.
Still, it wasn't enough for Katniss and she gripped his underwear, rolling them down slowly so that his cock sprung to life. She had never seen an erection in her life and took in its appearance slowly, a part of her calculating its physical dimension, another, more primal part wanting to know it in all its aspects. She took it in hand, which caused Peeta to hiss her name, his agony more pronounced. She ran her hand over its silky smoothness, reveling in the contrast between its hard, rigid appearance and the unbearable softness of the skin. She ran the back of her hand over it and felt herself become aroused from the feathery feeling of it on her skin. Her fingertips skated over the smooth, mushroom-like tip, causing it to twitch.
"Hold me in your hand, Katniss." Peeta begged, his breath short and labored.
She nodded, taking him gently and moving her hand up and down over the shaft. She stroked gently at first, slow and languid but Peeta bucked again into her hand.
"Show me what you like," she said quietly. He placed his large, calloused hand over hers and moved them up and down, the grip much stronger than what she would have used for fear of hurting him.
"Come here," he rasped and she lay next to him, her hand working over him with more confidence and determination. He kissed her gently but could not follow through with more as his mouth fell open against hers, becoming slack with her increased speed. Katniss looked down in time to watch him orgasm, his body arching and his semen exploding onto his belly. She released him when he was done. He seemed to deflated against the bed, only the pearly white drops and his racing breath giving away his abandon.
"Thank you." He held her against him and kissed her as he caught his breath. Katniss took a handkerchief from her pocket and wiped him carefully before laying down next to him again.
"Mmm…" he smiled, recovering. "It's your turn, you know."
Katniss froze. "I…you don't…"
"Yes," he chuckled. "I do..and I want to." He turned to her, pressing her onto her back. He kissed her, unbuttoning her shirt until her small, proud breasts lay exposed beneath his gaze. He stared at them hungrily and Katniss squirmed, resisting the urge to cover herself but when he kissed them, she forgot her shyness.
"Katniss, you are so perfect," he whispered as his lips worked over the tender, swollen flesh. She succumbed to the feeling of his warm lips closing over a hardened nipple, his tongue licking and coaxing the dusky tip to life. Katniss moaned loudly, the sound reverberating through her body. Peeta lavished both with attention, from his mouth and his fingers until Katniss writhed in need beneath him.
Katniss was so consumed by his mouth on her breasts that his fingers beneath the waistline of her underwear caught her by surprise. She clenched her legs together but he gently coaxed them open again, his fingers resuming their trajectory until they were buried in her wetness. Katniss took in a sharp breath when his fingers skirted the place that set her entire body alight.
"What do you like, Katniss?" he whispered. "When you're alone, where do you touch yourself?"
Katniss thought of the time she was tree climbing and she accidentally brushed herself there, her entire body reacting to the sensation. She did it again out of curiosity and found that the pleasure was more acute. At home that night, she searched for the place. When she found it, her instincts drove her to a moment of release so exquisite and intense, it frightened her. But she believed it was a trick of her body and never shared that information with anyone.
At that moment, Peeta was asking for her to hand over this secret. She hesitated before bringing his fingers down to that place and with the gentle pressure of hers over his, taught him what it would take to make her fall apart. Peeta kissed her as his fingers followed Katniss' lead, departing only to bury themselves in her folds before resuming their sweet torture. Soon, too soon, Katniss' body tightened like a bow string until, with Peeta's hand between her legs and his mouth clamped on her breast, she burst open, her body vibrating from energy of her explosion.
"Peeta!" she cried out as her back arched from the intensity.
Peeta watched in awe as she gave herself over to those waves, her face contorted in such pleasure, he could not tear his eyes away from her.
When she'd ridden out those feelings and had come back down to earth, she lay limp and supple in Peeta's arms. He had never found her so sensual and desirable at that moment, her body radiating her satiation. He kissed her tenderly, raining small kisses on her face, neck and shoulders.
"Are you okay?" he asked, smiling.
"Mmmm…" Katniss moaned in response.
He laughed. "I guess so."
He got up out of bed, causing Katniss to whimper but only momentarily as she took in his entire physique. Her body responded before her brain did to the broad muscles of his chest, the thick, solid buttocks and legs. When he walked back towards her, she watched his stomach muscles flex and Katniss had the sudden urge to cover his entire skin with her mouth.
He returned with a thermos and his bag of now cooled cheese buns.
"What's that?" Katniss asked, indicating the thermos as she sat up to rummage through the bag of cheese buns.
"Hot chocolate, of course." He poured out a cup of the still warm liquid and handed it to her. They ate quietly, savoring the flavor of the food and the warmth left over from their time together. Katniss felt like she never wanted to leave that cabin again. She wanted to stay here, live off the forest and do what she'd just done with Peeta without having to hide her feelings for him. The idea that this little moment of perfection was just a parenthesis in a long life of rigid rules and deprivations made her sad. It must have appeared on her face because suddenly, Peeta's arms were around her, his eyes full of concern.
"What's wrong?" he asked her, running his hand over her leg and hip.
"I just wish life was always like this," Katniss murmured, resting her head against him.
"I would rather have this than not have you at all," he said gently. He pulled back and looked at her seriously. "We could just not go back. We could live here, just the two of us."
"No, Peeta. They'd look for us and drag us back. And my family needs me. I can't leave my sister."
Peeta nodded and for the moment, there seemed no solution to their problem. Instead, he removed the foodstuff and pushed her gently down onto the bed. "We'll come up with something. You'll see. But for now, I'll take kissing you the entire day, if you have no other plans."
Katniss laughed, dispelling the hopelessness. "You have me for the entire day." she said as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down close to her.
"I want to have you forever. What do you think of that? Would you allow it?" he said, his eyes suddenly very serious and Katniss knew he wasn't joking.
"I would allow it." she whispered with equal seriousness, if it were possible, she added to herself before kissing him as if their very lives depended on it.
XXXXXX
Before departing, Peeta warned her that their family bakery would be entering into a very busy period and he would find it difficult for them to meet. This was the wedding season so they would be frosting cakes and desserts in addition to their regular work.
Katniss accepted this but it turned out to be harder than she thought not to see him. He was needed in his parent's shop and though they tried to coordinate visits to the cabin, it was difficult for him to get out more than once every week or so. Katniss compensated somewhat with the increased game and visits to her regular customers to trade what she caught. At the very least, she had the opportunity to see him, if only from afar, when she arrived at the back door of the bakery.
This became almost unbearable to Katniss, who felt her claim on Peeta's love was greater than their society's claim on their position. She walked the town and saw him on his excursions and could not touch him, not even speak to him and it fueled a blaze of anger within her. She felt his eyes on her, sensed the vibrating connection to him across the space of the square, the town, of time itself but she had to feign indifference and it wore her down.
One balmy summer day, Katniss arrived with her compliment of squirrel and wild turkey and found Peeta alone in the back room. It had been three weeks since they'd seen each other. As soon as she raised her hand to knock on the door, it flew open and a pair of powerful hands pulled her inside. Katniss almost yelled but the sound was cut-off by Peeta's mouth, which descended on her with a bruising force. He had taken her by surprise but she quickly caught on and wrapped herself around him, arms, legs and all and kissed him with the fury of their separation. Peeta stumbled when Katniss launched herself at him but pressed her up against the counter for leverage.
"Shit, I've missed you…" he said between kisses as his lips dragged a wet trail down over her neck, his nose nuzzling into the V of her button-down shirt.
Katniss couldn't breathe, couldn't even think to respond, for the sensation of his roaming mouth robbed all coherence from her mind. She could only hold on to his golden curls as his hands cupped her bottom, pulling her closer to his waiting erection.
"Peeta!" she gasped as he ground into her. "Dammit! Somebody's going to catch us!"
"I need to see you. I'm back to the late shift tomorrow. Can we meet?" he said hungrily, his chest heaving with excitement.
"I…ah…" she faltered as he leaned her back and began to rub that magic spot at the apex of her thighs, the one that made everything that mattered disappear until all that was left was her heat. He didn't stop and catching her reaction, pressed harder, making circles over the fabric of her trousers with his thumb. She swiped his hands away when he undid her zipper, but only half-heartedly. Soon her pants and underwear were down around her ankles and his fingers were dancing between her folds, his thumbs making designs on her that made her legs shudder in response.
"Fuck, Katniss, you're so hot…" he hissed as she dropped her head back, her pants dangling awkwardly as he brought her quickly to orgasm. She had to bite his shoulder to keep the sound from escaping her lips and he held her tightly so that she would not collapse into a quivering pile on the floor.
"What was that for?" she quipped drowsily, his arms a small piece of paradise.
"Meet me after tomorrow. I have to see you." he said as he carefully pulled up her pants, covering her for fear she would be discovered on the baking counter with nothing on and then took her in his arms. She could feel his erection press into her and made to touch him, to perhaps return the favor when a large clattering sound just beyond the corridor caused them to jump apart. It was soon followed by the opening of the door and Mr. Mellark appearing with an armful of cooking pans.
"Peeta, get these, will you?" he said as he struggled to set down the precarious pile without dropping them again. Glancing at Katniss, he gave her his usual smile. "Hello, Katniss. What have you got for me today?"
Katniss shook herself from the afterglow of her climax and proceeded to complete the trade. Peeta stared at her from behind his father, speaking to her with his eyes. He wanted her to give some acquiescence, perhaps, that they would meet but the only signal Katniss could offer in the presence of his father was a quick nod. He seemed to understand because his face broke into a happy grin that accompanied her as she left the building.
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Katniss completed her trades to good advantage, having acquired all the things she needed plus a gold coin besides. As she made her way from the alley to the road that led to the seam, she caught site of Peeta walking alongside his father. Even though she had just seen him, it was not nearly enough to satiate her need for him. It was never enough. Katniss knew she was being reckless but she followed the pair in parallel from across the square, willing Peeta to glance her way.
Katniss could not stand it and stared openly at him with longing and was pleasantly surprised when his eyes fell on her. He returned her gaze with eyes that spoke of his own need and for a moment, there was no one in the square except for the two of them. Katniss wanted to tell him how she dreamed of him every night, that she wanted to learn more about the things they could do with each other, not just their bodies. She indeed could tie her life up with his if they could only find a way and she longed to send those thoughts directly to him.
Katniss and Peeta were so caught up in their silent communication that Katniss did not see the Peacekeepers until they suddenly blocked her view of Peeta with the frigid white of their uniforms. Roaches, she thought angrily, referring to the nickname given Peacekeepers by Seam residents because of the insect-looking helmets they wore. One was short but muscular, his eyes covered by his visor while the second one was a taller, thicker brute whose brown eyes lasciviously roamed over her body.
"Look at this Seam scum, Brutus," the shorter Peacekeeper said to the tall, burly one of the perverse stare.
Katniss knew better than to provoke them. It was rumored in the Seam that some Peacekeepers trumped up charges on the Seam girls especially so they could "negotiate" the penalty, usually resulting in the girl having to appease one Peacekeeper or more to keep from getting flogged.
"Kinda far from home. You don't have a place here in the market, stinking up the fine people of Panem with your rot," hissed the shorter Peacekeeper. "I could just arrest you."
Katniss took a deep, shaky breath. She was about to speak, maybe ask for the flogging instead when a deep voice came from behind them.
"She was cleaning out the back alley of the bakery. I gave her permission to be here."
Everyone turned to watch Mr. Mellark as he spoke, a tense Peeta clenching his fists at his sides.
"She shouldn't be in the open market if that's what she's doing," said the one called Brutus.
Mr. Mellark's face broke into an easy grin. "I'll give her better instructions next time." Turning towards Katniss, he said "Go on home now, Katniss. You did a good job today."
Katniss nodded her head, utterly confused as to what had just taken place but not questioning her good fortune. She glanced at a stricken Peeta before walking as quickly as possible back to her home.
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Peeta was a bundle of frenetic energy when they met at the cabin the next day. He scooped Katniss up into his arms and kissed her breathlessly, catching her completely by surprise. The desperation of his kiss alarmed her and she quickly pulled away.
"What is it? What's wrong?" she said in alarm.
Peeta breathed heavily, as if he was trying to keep his lungs from running off without him. He stared at Katniss with serious eyes. "We need to run away. Live in the forest."
Katniss gave a small, sad shake of her head. "We've talked about this before. My family needs me, Peeta. I can't leave them."
"We could bring them with us," he said. "My parents want me to get married soon and I...I won't, Katniss. I can't be with anyone else."
"What are you talking about?" she said, stepping back as if he was about to deliver a blow.
"Nothing," he said, trying to pull her back into his arms.
"Tell me," she said firmly.
Peeta took a deep breath. "My parents want me to start thinking about getting married. They're looking at different families and arranging for me to meet their daughters. Right now, they're sorting out Rye and they already have a broker from when they arranged Bannock's marriage…" Peeta said these things almost desperately. "But I can't do it. There's only one person for me."
Katniss dropped her arms and walked away from him, the movement helping her clear her mind. Arranged marriages were very common in Panem and it should not have surprised her that Peeta's parents would want to arrange for all their sons to marry as advantageously as possible.
A sudden realization hit her.
"Your father knows about us," she said quietly.
Peeta visibly deflated. "I think so. He may have known for a while."
"That's why he helped me yesterday. That's why he's trying to marry you off," Katniss said in a monotone, tears threatening to strangle her.
And yet, she could see his father's point of view. The situation between Peeta and Katniss was truly absurd. But she was selfish and she had grown to need Peeta. He was the bright spark in the darkness of her days. But what was she offering him? What did he gain from risking his well-being each day he spent with her?
"Peeta, maybe this thing between us isn't good for you," she whispered sadly. "You deserve a good life. You deserve to get married and have lots of children…"
Peeta interrupted her angrily. "Don't go talking like that. I don't want to have a 'good' life with anyone else but you."
Katniss whirled around, her frustration welling up inside of her like boiling water. "Can we just stop this? Can we just stop pretending we have something that we don't have? Everything between us, every minute, is stolen time that we'll have to give back eventually. There's no future for us, no escape. This is all we have, Peeta!" Her words loosened the tears that she had been holding back.
Peeta closed the space between them in two strides and put his hands on both sides of her head. "I refuse to believe that. I refuse to believe that I can't be with you if that's what we both want."
"I won't let you! Your family will cast you out. This District will cast you out! And then what will you do? You'll become like me, like my sister and mother. Your future will be one long struggle for survival. I won't be responsible for that. I want you to get married and have children and have a normal life."
Katniss tried to pull away but Peeta held her in place. "It's not your choice. You don't get to tell me to go love somebody else. I love only you." He pulled her in and kissed her, a savage kiss that stood for his resolve to be with her at all costs. Katniss tried to pull away, to reason with him but he held on with desperate tenacity and slowly, she gave in to him.
Peeta released her head but let his hands roam boldly over her body. "The only thing that can change my mind is if you don't love me in return." Katniss' breath came in short bursts as his hands marked the boundaries of her body, traversing every plane and valley, claiming it all for his own. Katniss felt a heady rush of heat explode beneath her skin as if something was fighting its way out. She whimpered against his mouth when he pulled her flush against him and she felt the hard evidence of his need for her. She ground her hips into his rigid member, causing him to gasp in surprise.
"Katniss…tell me you don't love me and I'll go," he groaned as his hands gripped her hips and pulled her towards him.
"I can't tell you that," she said with breathless desperation. "I'm so sorry." She captured his mouth, kissing him with equal brutality and greedily continued grinding into him. Her hands found the hem of his t-shirt and slipped underneath to feel the hard coils of his back muscles. Peeta hissed in pleasure as she ran her nails up and down his spine, raking a path over his skin, leaving her own brand of possession on him.
Peeta pulled back, looking at Katniss with hooded eyes and a question hidden in their deep blue depths. "Say it," he begged.
Katniss shook her head but he gripped her and pulled her within an inch of his face. "Say it!" he hissed almost angrily.
"I love you," she whispered, but she'd barely finished the last word when his mouth crashed down on hers.
They had kissed often and let their hands roam, discovering everything they could about pleasing each other but always stopping before they went beyond a certain point. So when he released her swollen lips, his eyes boring into her, asking her permission, she gave it by removing her father's jacket and setting it carefully on the back of the kitchen chair. She unbuttoned her shirt and at that moment, she caught sight of the dandelions, as if they were waving at her from their watery place in the vase. Like that long ago day, when she went back to thank Peeta for the bread, Katniss began to feel hope.
Peeta watched hungrily as she let the oversized material fall off of her shoulders, his gaze causing her skin to prickle. She wore one of her mother's old bras, and though Katniss was ashamed of it, she was suddenly more ashamed of being naked, even though he'd seen her body before. It was the same with her too large pants and her underwear beneath, which had a few small holes near the elastic. Katniss suddenly lost her ardor and stood in timid offering, her desire only just enough to keep her from tearing the duvet from the bed and covering herself to her neck.
Katniss hadn't realized she had crossed her arms before her, to shield her nervousness from him until he gently moved her arms out of the way and looked at, what to her, was a scrawny, unremarkable figure.
"You are so beautiful, Katniss," he whispered as he kissed her again, this time more gently before letting his lips run over her neck and shoulders, heating Katniss from the inside. His large hands traveled over her hips and ribs, making goose bumps spring up over her skin like the blooming flowers in the meadow near the open fence. Katniss shivered from the contact, to which he responded by leading her to the bed and pulling back the covers to let her slip underneath. He then removed his pants, his arousal straining against the material of his underwear. Katniss stared at the large bulge, remembering the feel of it in her hand. She became excited by what would take place as he slid in next to her, the heat of his body warming the material of the bed, which smelled surprisingly of lavender soap and instantly calmed her.
He kissed her again, a long languid kiss before sliding his hands behind her back and unclasping her bra, removing it slowly as he watched her every reaction. Katniss gasped when his fingers gently brushed along the sides of her breasts. He lowered his head and kissed the small mounds gently, teasing the dusky peaks with his soft lips and warm tongue, the feeling so shockingly good, she didn't want him to stop. It was connected to something deep within her belly, a feeling that crowded out fear and replaced it with desire.
He moved between both breasts, building that intensity that Katniss recognized. She felt his thick fingers traversing her stomach and pause at the edge of the waistband. Peeta lifted his head to look at her with another question in his eyes. Katniss, who was under the spell of the sensations he created, nodded quickly. His hands slipped inside and soon his fingers were lost in her wetness. Katniss instinctively squeezed her legs shut, but Peeta's reaction was to kiss her with more furor as he pushed her legs open.
"Let me take these off," he murmured hoarsely. In response, Katniss shimmied out of her underwear, laying completely exposed to him. His fingers continued their dance along her most intimate place and Katniss melted with hopeless desire, especially when he began to apply the kind of pressure that made the coil in her belly spring to life. He kissed her harder as her reaction spurred him on, making every nerve in her body vibrate to life. She moaned against his mouth, her hands pulling and grasping him as if to find purchase. Something inside of her shattered and she felt herself fall apart into a million pieces, her whole body one massive vibration. It was amazing, so annihilating that she trembled long after the waves had become calm.
Peeta removed his underwear and positioned himself between her legs. Katniss looked down to see his freed cock and took it gently in her hand, reveling in the feel of that unbelievably soft skin. He groaned when her hands began to stroke him lightly, for Katniss was always afraid of hurting him. They kissed as she continued her motion, running her thumb over the tip while her other hand stroked his sack. He thrust in her hand and she became mindlessly aroused by the velvet feel of his cock. She shifted her hips and aligned him against her.
"I've never done this before," he whispered, his brow furrowed as he pressed gently against her.
"Neither have I," she responded breathlessly. "Blind leading the blind?" she said, her chest heaving as he pressed unsuccessfully.
"We'll figure it out." He smiled and kissed her. He continued his slow thrusts until somehow, they did figure it out and he was inside of her, waiting for her to adjust to him. She felt uncomfortably full and pinched, especially when he sank all the way into her. Peeta's body shook as he tried very hard not to hurt her but his instinct took over and he rocked into her, at first very slowly, until the furrow of discomfort disappeared from her brow, and then with the rhythm that would bring him to completion.
"I'm sorry...I can't…" he said apologetically as his body betrayed him, his release threatening to drown him and carry him away.
"Pull out!" gasped Katniss. Peeta obeyed, his semen exploding onto her stomach, his face contorted in a grimace of pleasure.
"I'm so sorry," he said as he rolled next to her in exhaustion. "I made a mess."
Katniss pulled her underwear over her stomach and cleaned herself. "It's okay," she turned as he gathered her up in his arms. "My mother's a healer. She made sure that I knew a few things…though clearly, there are some things she left out."
Peeta chuckled. "We managed. I just wanted it to be good for you."
"It was," she said into his chest. The worry she felt before they made love threatened to overwhelm her again, especially when it dawned on her just how much she did not want to live without him. "But it doesn't make this any less crazy."
"I don't care if it's crazy." He shifted to look down at her.
"If I wasn't an outcast, it would be possible. But the law does not allow us to be together. It's a blood law. That's how they keep Panem pure," Katniss said.
"Panem is full of shitty laws," Peeta answered darkly. After a pause, he said, "We could keep meeting here."
Katniss shook her head. "Maybe, but it might not be safe for the long term. We're too close to District 12. We'd have to go further away, maybe to my father's lake. There's no shelter there - and we'd be starting from scratch…"
Peeta's eyes twinkled and his face broke into a happy grin. "Are you actually considering this?"
Katniss searched the ceiling, trying to order her thoughts. "Maybe I can convince them. I mean, what difference does it make if they are here or in the woods…?" But Katniss wasn't able to finish her thought because Peeta let out a burst of laughter and pulled her to him, showering kisses down on her.
"We can do this, Katniss. I swear. Then we wouldn't have to sneak around anymore. We'd be free."
"But won't you miss your family?" said Katniss worriedly.
"Of course. But Katniss, my family isn't going to be of any help to me if I'm forced to marry someone I don't love. They won't be enough to comfort me if I lose you. It's my choice. I know what I'm giving up," he said seriously. "And I know for a fact they will not come with me."
Katniss looked at him with pity. "I can't be sure of my family either but I can try to persuade them. It's different with me, though. They'll starve without me."
Peeta nodded. "I understand."
"And we would have to leave at the beginning of spring. The woods are rough in winter. We have some time until then to maybe get a few supplies and sneak them out here." Katniss felt the excitement of their plan and it filled her with hope. She looked towards the table and saw the dandelions in the vase and smiled.
"What is it?" Peeta asked.
"Those dandelions. Every time I am just about to give up on everything, they appear and hope follows right afterwards." Katniss turned to him. "When you tossed the bread, I came back the very next day to thank you. Do you remember that? I think you saw me."
"I did. I had no idea what you were doing because you came and then you left."
"I saw that bruise your mother gave you and I got scared. In the yard, there was a dandelion and I remembered my father teaching me that the entire flower could be eaten. So I went home and got Prim and went directly to the meadow. It was full of flowers!" Katniss softened at the memory. "We picked buckets full of them and ate them with your bread. That's when I knew that I was going to survive." Katniss became emotional. "Peeta, I was ready to give up everything today and let you go back home. I would have made you go and marry some Merchant girl if I thought you'd be happy." She looked over at the flowers again. "But there you go again, making me believe that we might have a chance…" she couldn't finish her sentence as she scowled, trying to control her tears.
"Funny, here I thought you were my hope. You make me better than I am - braver, more willing to do the right thing, because I'm doing it for you," he whispered as he pulled the tie from her messy braid, running his fingers through the locks until they lay against the throw pillow.
Katniss gave him one of her rare smiles, the ones she reserved for him and only when she was completely happy. Without another word, she pulled him down and gave him a kiss that set every synapse in her body on fire and for a long while, there was no more talk of any kind.
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Originally outlined as a two-part fic, there is a third part that will be released for Day 7 – Black and White. Many thanks to my amazing betas, bubblegum1425 and peetabreadgirl. Also, thanks to nightlockinthecave for the gorgeous banner. You are amazing, ladies.
This fic is dedicated to madamemarquise, who requested an Everlark Canon AU without the Games and in response to the prompt "It would have happened anyway." Thank you for the inspiration!