I apologize in advance, but I just had this idea in my head and felt the need to write it out. It's an angsty one, guys. And I may or may not have cried writing this. Major character death, so be warned!
Bonus points to anyone who finds the reference to another game in here!
Ellie slowly turned the brass knob and cracked the door open, peering inside. The sight nearly broke her heart, but she steadied herself and walked into the room. Joel laid sleeping in his bed, his chest moving steadily up and down with his breathing. His dark hair and beard were now all gray, his skin was pale, with plenty more wrinkles lining his face from when she had first met him. His large frame had shrunk in the past years as he aged, although he still maintained a lot of his build like the stubborn man he was. Even still, his body looked significantly smaller under the blankets than Ellie had ever remembered it looking, and for the first time, she let the notion into her mind and heart fully – he was sick, very sick.
Ellie quietly took a few steps forward, trying not to wake Joel. She sat in a wooden chair set up next to the bed and folded her hands in her lap, continuing to watch him. Every minute that went by she was grateful to still watch the rise and fall of his chest and the flutter of his eyelids, scared that it could be gone any moment now. After some time, Joel shifted in bed and began to open his eyes slowly, letting out a groggy mumbling. He perked up a little when he saw Ellie sitting by the bedside.
"Hey there," Ellie said, giving him the best smile she could.
"Hey, kiddo," Joel looked up at her, returning the smile weakly.
"You'll never stop calling me that, huh?"
"Nah," he laughed, with it shortly turning into a violent coughing. Joel took a few moments to catch his breath, Ellie watching with concern.
"You can keep sleeping if you want, I'm okay just sitting here," she said, noticing how exhausted he seemed.
"No, it's alright. I was just restin' my eyes a bit," he closed his eyes again, sighing deeply. The truth was, he was tired. More tired than he had been in all his life – even in those sleepless days after the outbreak had hit, after Sarah had gone, after he was struggling each moment just to get by.
They sat quietly for a while, enjoying each other's presence, not minding the silence. Joel tried to stay awake, looking over at Ellie, wanting to memorize each and every detail on her face. His vision had declined in old age, but he could still see well enough to catch all the little freckles dancing across her face and the green of her eyes and the scar that remained across her eyebrow all these years. He sighed, thinking of the day he had met an outspoken, spunky, fourteen year old Ellie, unaware that she would soon change his life in more ways than he could ever count. They had some good years together, he thought fondly. Now he couldn't be more proud of the person she had become – strong, kind, and not letting this world bring bitterness and coldness into her heart, much like he had.
"Ellie…" he said quietly, breaking the silence. He said her name for no particular reason other than out of affection. She broke out of her train of thought and looked down at him. He could see the frightened look in her eyes, knowing that she wasn't ready to let go yet. He wasn't sure if he was either, but seeing her face seemed to make everything better. He forgot for the moment about the illness plaguing his body and the increasing struggle to breathe that was weighing down on him.
Ellie suddenly reached for his hand, squeezing it.
"We made it, old man." she gave him a watery smile, thinking back on every terrible, wonderful, joyful, frightening moment they had been through together.
"We sure did," he replied, feeling a lump form in his throat. Knowing that he would leave Ellie behind hurt him more than anything else. He knew how broken up she would feel, how alone. He wished more than anything he could give all that pain to himself rather than have his sweet girl shed even a single tear in her lifetime.
"Can you believe it? After everything we went through that we made it out in one piece? All that time…" she trailed off, shaking her head in disbelief.
"Thought for sure I'd be torn apart by a pack of clickers by now."
"Yeah, me too…" Both of them were lost in thought now, reflecting on the time they spent together crossing the country and facing things that still haunted their nightmares. They were both broken, never the same after that journey so long ago. Together, the years had healed them and they helped each other mend scarred hearts and fill empty souls.
"Thank you, Ellie." Joel said suddenly, looking over at her with tired eyes.
"For what? Not being torn apart by clickers?" she joked, trying to keep the mood light, even though she knew that wasn't at all what Joel meant.
"For givin' me life… when I thought that every part of me had died, you, the tiniest little fourteen year old spark, brought me back…"
Ellie felt herself tear up. She didn't want to hear this, to know that he was telling her these things because he didn't think he would get another chance. She wanted to tease him and laugh with him late into the night and watch him play his guitar for hours on end.
"Joel…" she closed her eyes, letting a few of the tears fall down.
"It's alright," he said, squeezing her hand.
Ellie took a deep, shaky breath. "It was a privilege to watch you become you again, Joel. I wouldn't change any of it."
Joel smiled. "Even all them clickers and bloaters?"
"Nah. Then I wouldn't have met you. That life, Joel, it's… unimaginable," she nodded solemnly, looking down at her lap.
"You have no idea…"
They both fell back into silence, and the evening sun was letting in an orange glow through the windows and everything felt so still and so peaceful that they both almost forgot that the world existed beyond the shabby bedroom and the two people occupying it.
"You should get goin', get some rest. I know you ain't sleepin' well lately," Joel said finally.
"I think I'm just going to stay here, if you, uh, don't mind." Ellie's voice cracked, threatening with tears again. She cleared her throat.
"Not at all. Maybe stayin' isn't such a bad idea," Joel said, feeling that his body and lungs were ready to give out any moment. He knew Ellie would never forgive herself if anything happened while she was gone. He closed his eyes, feeling exhaustion overwhelm him. If he could only sleep for just a bit, then maybe he would wake up new and alive again.
Ellie took note of what he said and looked at him, devastated. She thought maybe it was possible for this moment to be suspended in time forever, just the two of them side by side, as it had been since the day they had met. She knew the world didn't work like that, that this world didn't do her any favors, save one. It gave her Joel.
Ellie alternated between watching the sunset out the window and Joel as he rested, checking constantly to make sure he was still breathing and panicking every time he took longer to draw breath than usual. Long after the sun went down and darkness had settled in, Joel finally woke, feeling as though he hadn't slept at all. He knew in his heart that this would be the last time he saw Ellie's face.
"I need you to listen to me," Joel took her hand again, looking into her tear filled eyes with his. Her eyes widened, hanging on his every word. "You are going to need to let me go, okay? You are so strong, and smart, and you can make it through this. You understand me?"
She nodded quickly, putting a hand to her eyes and wiping away the tears forming at the edges. Joel's breathing was becoming more shallow and short by the minute, it seemed.
"You know I love you, right?" Ellie smiled. Joel simply nodded in return.
They looked at each other, expressing a million things that were never said all at once. They both knew though, that they didn't ever need to be said. Their hearts were both full of love for the other, accumulated over a lifetime.
"So was it everything you hoped for?" Ellie asked, her voice hoarse from holding back her tears. He smiled weakly at her using their old phrase.
"More than you'll ever know."
Ellie's face fell and she started to cry again, laying her head onto Joel's arm.
"Shh. It's okay, it's okay," he stroked her hair gently, using what felt like the last bits of his strength.
"I'm going to miss you…" she started to sob harder as the words left her mouth, knowing that there was no stopping what came next.
"I'm going to miss you too, babygirl. I love you, Ellie…"
With those words, Ellie felt Joel's hand stop stroking her head and heard a ragged, uneven breath leave him. She slowly sat up her head, terrified of what she would see. His chest had stopped moving up and down, his eyelids were no longer fluttering, and his gaze was no longer looking at her as it had all these years.
"Joel? Please… don't…" she sobbed into his chest, knowing that it was over.
She noticed a piece of paper sticking out of the pocket of his shirt now that she was closer than she had been before. Something told her that it was meant for her, and that it was the right time to be reading it. She pulled it out, noticing the first light of the morning coming through the window. The front of the folded paper had "Ellie" written in Joel's familiar scrawl. Ellie braced herself with a deep breath and opened the note.
Ellie,
I count spending the rest of my time with you as one of the best and most cherished things I ever did in this life. You know I'm no good at sappy stuff, but you have a way of bringin' that out in people. I wish I had told you I loved you more, and that you were the most beautiful and long-awaited sunrise when I was stuck in the night for so long. You have a way of being just persistent enough to leave an imprint on people, and it sticks and then grows like flowers in the spring. You never know if the flowers are comin', but when they do, it's the greatest thing you think you've ever seen. That's how it is with you, like flowers in the spring. I was never much of a poet either, but I think you're bringin' that out in me too. You bring out all the best in me, Ellie, even when I didn't know it was there myself.
Be strong like you always have, be stubborn if you have to, and never let anyone tell you what to do (not that you ever would). One more thing: never stop reading those awful jokes to people. I really did always like 'em.
Enjoy the view, babygirl.