A/N: Regulus finally gets the courage to talk to his brother and he begs him not to leave, to hold on just a bit longer, but he can't hold on. He can't hold on. RxR. FxF.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
He woke up in his room with a groan not remembering when or how he got there. All he knew was that he had gotten home, he had been tortured and then he was face-down on the floor. Kreacher must have brought him up here, and by the feel of it, not too nicely.
He pushed himself off his bed and looked around. The room was dark and from the small space through his curtains, it was now evening time. He had been out for at least two hours then. The walls were cast in shadows with odd shapes but they brought a smile to his face all the same: the red and gold colour fighting through the gloom, his posters of girls in bikinis, his figurines on his bookshelf, the busted snitch that he had promised his friend he would fix but never did.
He shuddered, another aftershock, before throwing himself back down his bed. That had been a lovely welcome home present from his mother, and he was sure she had many more to give. She may have broken his body today, but he was sure that she would not stop until she had broken his will as well.
There was a soft knock on the door and he froze, his light breathing halting in the darkness. Did she know he was awake? Would she really come for him now? She never came into their rooms but today was a day for the impossible and he didn't know what to expect anymore.
The door opened just a sliver and he was confused. She would definitely have opened the door with a bang and screech, a scathing remark and a sharp sting to his bum, but there was nothing but a small shadow and then the soft shutting of the door.
A harsh whisper cut through the darkness right next to his ear, "Brother?"
He jumped not realizing just how close Regulus had gotten within those long seconds. There was a quick 'Sorry', before he felt the end of his bed sink.
"What are you doing here?" he asked angrily. Regulus hadn't come to visit him in years. He always stayed out of the way and just let him get tossed around by their hag of a mother.
"Something's happening," was all Regulus said.
He let the words hang in the air before he asked, "What do you mean?" Did Regulus know something he didn't?
"I'm not sure, brother. But it's something big and it's something bad. I know we're going to have a special guest over for dinner soon, though mother won't tell me more on the subject," Regulus said quietly.
He stared up into the darkness. It was starting to make sense now. He was coming for dinner and their mother was going to present her heir to him. He didn't have much time before he was to be signed over like cattle.
"Is something going to happen, brother?" Regulus asked. There was the hint of something more in his voice, an unsaid 'to you' that Regulus didn't have the courage to voice.
"Yes, something is going to happen," he said. He would have left it at that but why should he spare his younger brother from knowing the truth? He was old enough now and he didn't need to be protected any longer. "The Dark Lord is coming for dinner, Regulus, and our dear mother is going to hand me over on a silver platter with a golden collar around my neck," he added.
Regulus leaned away from him and said, "She wouldn't do that. She wouldn't-"
"You really think so highly of our mother, Regulus!" he shouted, lifting his body off the bed and ignoring the shots of pain through his spine. "You really think she wouldn't use the first chance she got to hand me over?"
"But she brought you home. She wanted you back and she wanted her family whole," Regulus reasoned.
"She wanted her stray home so she could put him down herself. I am a Black only because I was borne of her womb. If there was any way to reverse that, then she would have eagerly taken it and I would cease to exist. I've only brought disgrace to the name Black according to her. But with this opportunity, it puts our family in the best light and she gets rid of me in one fell swoop."
"She is still a mother. She wouldn't-" Regulus tried to justify.
"A mother doesn't subject her child to an Unforgivable," he said finally.
The silence stretched between them, widening the gap between the brothers even further and he was surprised just how much he wished it wouldn't.
When he had been sorted into Gryffindor, he had been ostracized by his family, but he could always count on his brother to still be there. At the time, Regulus would still try to write him without his mother finding out and they were still close. But once Regulus was sorted into Slytherin, their relationship became strained. Regulus was warned by his Slytherin friends not to fraternize with 'blood-traitors' and their mother tightened her leash on her obedient son while he was home. They had rare conversations out of ear-shot, an odd secret letter, but no communications of real importance. Now as he lay in the dark with just the sound of their breathing, he realized just how much he missed his younger brother.
"So what are you going to do?" Regulus asked, for the question had to be asked. They both knew he wouldn't just go easily, though Regulus may have hoped.
After a few moments, he said, "I don't know yet, but I'm not going to let this happen."
Regulus rose off the bed and asked incredulously, "How are you going to do that? Once the Dark Lord calls, you can't just run."
He laughed dryly, "Now you know why our mother wanted me home immediately." He pushed off the bed, testing his weight on his sore legs. "I don't know how I'm going to, but this isn't happening."
Regulus reached out to him in the darkness and he winced as his brother's fingers closed around what felt like a sprained wrist. "There's nothing that be done," Regulus said. "It would be easier just to go along with it. I know you like to make jokes and have fun, but the Dark Lord is not one to mess with. Once he has you, he won't let you go."
He grinned though Regulus may not have seen him in the dark. "Then I'll just have to make sure he doesn't have me," he said.
"You're going to leave!" Regulus said in shock, once he caught on to his implication.
"Well, I can't stay here, Regulus! You just as good as said so. If I don't want to be a Death Eater, then I have to go," he said, throwing his brother's arm off him. "And it would be smart of you to come with me."
"With you?" Regulus asked.
"Yes," he said, grabbing back for Regulus' hand. "When I leave, because you and I know I will, they will call on you. Mother won't let the Dark Lord go home empty-handed."
"I can't do that, brother," Regulus said.
"What?" he asked in shock.
Regulus began, his voice monotonous as if reading a script, "As a member of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, it is my duty to uphold-"
"The standards of our family and represent its beliefs in all facets," he ended mockingly, talking over his brother. "Mother trained you well, didn't she? Regulus, don't you see? One of us will become a Death Eater after that dinner. It won't be me and I don't want it to be you."
"If you don't want it to be me, then you wouldn't be going. You would be doing your duty to our family," Regulus said sternly.
He threw his hands in the air. "Screw our family! What kind of family has arguments over which son should become a murderer? This is not a healthy environment, Regulus. Just come with me."
"No, I can't," Regulus repeated.
"Well, I can't stay here," he said as he moved about his room. He began grabbing a few more things to put into his school trunk that sat unopened at the end of his bed.
Regulus darted out and grabbed his arm, squeezing slightly. He ignored the pain as he felt the air shift, as if Regulus finally understood the gravity of the situation. Regulus finally realized that his mind was made up and he was really going to leave.
"I know this isn't the best situation, but it is the way we live. This is our family. It was horrible while you weren't here. Everyday was another day I was happy to get through it without getting on mother's bad side for any reason. She was about ready to blow a fuse at the slightest opportunity. I hoped every day you would just come home, just so that I could be put at ease and have to stop worrying. Now I realize you were probably better out there. It was safer for you out there. But you're here now. And if something should happen, if you really leave, I can't do this alone. I can't face that man and sit in that dinner alone. Please, brother. Hold on. Please, Don't go. "
He gave Regulus a long hard look, his eyes having adjusted to the darkness now. He could see the pleading in his eyes and hear the desperation in his voice. Though Regulus' reasons were selfish, there was still truth in his words. He knew if he left, he was passing his burden onto his younger brother's shoulders. He was damning him to the life of a murderer. If there was any other way, he would have done anything to save both him and his brother from this fate but it was just too much. As much as Regulus was scared, he was scared too.
He could feel his voice get heavy, his body feel weak and his legs wobble. "No, I can't, I can't hold on, not any longer," he said as the fear finally drowned him and fell to the ground in tears.