Her armor was stashed in her locker in her cabin, her shower was hot, and her mind was... settling. She hadn't felt this strange, quiet sense of peacefulness in… since she walked out of Nihlus' hotel room with no socks, no underwear and a set of bite marks on her neck.

She had a friend.

A friend.

She didn't know what the hell to do with that knowledge, and the more she thought about it, the more she realized how strange it was that he was a turian, too, like Nihlus—but he let her talk. And she did feel strangely better. It was a strange realization how much that meant to her. She hadn't really had someone before who actually asked the questions, who cared if she was okay, who was watching her back like he did. As she turned off the shower and dried, she made a promise to herself to not mess this up.

She decided she needed to stop comparing him to Nihlus anyways. There was a difference between them, though. When she thought of what Nihlus had made her feel, there was a deep, exciting flutter, like the feeling long before an orgasm.

Garrus reminded her though of finally getting to sleep after a forty-eight hour shift, or of that first shower with no time limit that she got to take after each of her N-training missions. She would just stand and let the hot water cascade down her body, pounding into sore back and shoulder muscles, simlply luxuriating. It was more reliable. It was something she could trust. She wasn't really sure if she wanted to have sex with him the same way she had Nihlus... but she did want something from him.

She did like the way he held her hand. She did like the way his eyes were always looking right at her even if his head wasn't. She did like the way her legs had gotten a little weak when they were standing there with their helmets pressed together and his arms had been right there around her.

She thought again about calling her mom. She even sat down at her desk as she waited for Garrus to make his way up, but didn't open the comm channel. Hannah Shepard was a woman of duty, of responsibility and necessity. She didn't talk about feelings.

It didn't matter. She had a good crew. They had good leads and they would finish the mission. The mission is what matters.

And then she would maybe ask for some leave time.

Then her door chimed. She assumed it was Garrus, probably to tell her that Wrex had finished the beer, so she was stuck with that same awful bottle of whiskey. She was dressed, except for socks and boots, so she walked over and pinged the door to slide open.

But it was Alenko.

"Lieutenant." She greeted him and shook her socks out. "How can I help you?"

"Well, I actually just came to check on you."

"Oh!" She couldn't stop the slight laugh that came out of her mouth. She sat on the edge of her desk and started pulling her socks on. "I'm… I'm actually doing fine, Kaidan." She realized it was a little more than true.

"Good. Hope I'm not being too informal, It's just… It's been a while since we've talked… I noticed you weren't doing so well after Eden Prime, and I wanted to, you know, clear the air if there was anything I had done."

"No, you're fine. There was a lot going on around then. New crew, new ship… and things. I think we're doing good now. Glad to have you on the team, Alenko."

"Yeah, I hear you, Commander. I've just been hearing some lower deck rumors and I wanted to… talk to you."

"Now that does interest me. What kind of rumors have you been hearing that made you need to talk to me?"

"I don't know that I should be saying anything exactly. I just wanted to ask you to be careful. When you aren't clear about relationships… sometimes people make assumptions that they shouldn't. I've heard about several people who are interested in you… in more ways than one." He finished his sentence slowly, and Shepard nodded. The hairs on the back of her neck tingled, and she couldn't help but remember that one time she'd ventured outside of herself; laid her pride andher self in the hands of another person. She'd received adressing down she'd in a prison ship medbay that had left impressions as deep as the wounds she had been treated for.

"So there are rumors about me, and people interested in me—I'm assuming you mean romantically… and this worries you personally?" She tried to put it as bluntly as possible.

"Well, yeah, Commander." He said softly, and then shook his head slowly, keeping his eyes on her. "I just… didn't want you caught unaware." She realized that he was backtracking, and couldn't decide whether to let him slip away.

"Thank you, Lieutenant." She said sharply.

This was it. She could shut herself down, or she could try and take a new path. The impulse was there, and it was strong... but it came down to the fact what she really wanted was to have someone close. Someone trusted by her side.

She realized she wanted a place to relax.

"I appreciate your concern. However, I will be sure to address any concerns that arise, as long as they are brought to me—directly—by anyone concerned." She folded her hands in her lap and leaned back against her too small table. "Did you have any concerns of your own?"

His face seemed to fall, a bit. She could tell this wasn't the reaction that he was looking for, and decided that she was okay with that. He was too assumptive with her anyways, especially since she was his commanding officer, and she had done absolutely nothing to encourage him.

"No, ma'am."

"I do keep an open door policy. I always have. That's no different now that I have my own ship instead of just the squad. However this is not an invitation to gossip. This goes for yourself and for anyone else on the crew. I'll make sure to address this situation with anyone else who needs to talk about it, however I want to make sure that you and I are on the same page right now. Do you have any questions, Lieutenant?"

It wasn't her mother's position that got Jane her's. Her tone was enough to get Alenko's attention, and the chastened look on his face confirmation enough that she had gotten her point across. Shepard is in charge here. What impression had she ever given him?

"No ma'am. Reading you loud and clear." He was clearly uncomfortable, his eyes refusing to rest in any one spot, but particularly not anywhere near herself.

"Good." She said. She fixed him with a slightly longer look, let him him stew a moment longer, then smiled. She reached out to shake his hand. She needed to send a message and end this conversation in the most professional way possible, even though he was still standing far too close In her private quarters and she was standing there in sock-feet. "Good evening, Lieutenant.

He took her hand slowly and shook it. She shook firmly, but not too hard. His mouth was slightly open, a confused, disoriented look on his face. After two shakes she dropped his hand and moved to stand at-ease. He nodded slowly and turned to go.

"Ma'am." She watched him leave with a cautious eye, and as soon as the door slid shut behind him, she walked over to her bed and slid her boots onto her feet. As she snapped the latches shut, she sighed and stood up.

Garrus would be up any minute.