I'm a stress-writer. Not good. But anyway, here's another chapter! It's not too long and hopefully it'll be cute and funny for you guys.

Word credit to florairmatylee.

Fish (noun): a limbless cold-blooded vertebrae animal with fins and gills and lives wholly in water.

I have to make these, so: I don't own Thor.

Loki once called Darcy childish.

She's only remembering this right now because while she might have hit the guy and complained about it at the time, truthfully she does like being a little childish. Everyone still has the spirit of a child in them, don't they? Well except for maybe Jane, who Darcy suspects has the spirit of an eighty-year-old grandma, the way she always fusses over things.

But anyway, Darcy might be slightly childish, but she's never really acted like it before the last few weeks. And that all happened because something really amazing happened. Well, she moved in with Loki into his apartment, but that's not the amazing thing. The amazing thing is that she's away from Jane!

Well, Darcy loves Jane, obviously. Her eighty-year-old spirit has been pretty nice to Darcy, and if it weren't for Jane, Darcy probably wouldn't be in the place she is now. But Jane is also an eighty-year-old woman in the sense that she has no childish spirit and never let Darcy have a pet, so it's amazing that Darcy can now get one!

Darcy adores pets. Especially dogs. She's always wanted a puppy, even from when she was younger, but her dad was allergic to dogs. Then when she grew up (sorta), she still couldn't get a puppy, because Jane insisted a dog would not fit well into their lives. Meanie.

She still doesn't have a puppy now, because well, she figures she might have to talk that one over with Loki (double standards and all that), but she figures she can still have a pet. That is what made her go to the pet store right after work and buy a goldfish.

But when Darcy brings it home, Loki is unimpressed.

He doesn't even look up to notice she's brought it. Instead, he stays seated on their couch, casually reading a book. You'd think he would bother to look up when his girlfriend comes home from work. Asshole.

Whatever, she isn't going to let that stop her. Loki is going to see how great it is to have a pet around so she can get the puppy she wants. In a spur-of-the-moment thing, Darcy marches over to the couch, takes his book away, and shoves the round fishbowl in her hands towards his face.

He finally lets his green eyes flicker to the bowl in her hands, and when he notices what it is, he raises his eyebrows in Darcy's direction and wearily asks, "Darcy, what are you doing?"

"Showing you the cute little guy I bought on the way here," Darcy says, beaming. Well, he is cute in his scaly, wet way. "So, what do ya think?"

Loki keeps his eyebrows raised. "It is rather small," he informs her.

"That's what she said," Darcy can't help but joke. "But that's it? That's all you're going to say?" she asks, slightly disappointed. She hadn't expected him to get starry-eyed in happiness as he gazed at the fish, but she had expected something...better. Something not about its size.

Loki arches an eyebrow at her in confusion. "What else do you wish me to say?" he asks. "I am merely informing you of its size, for I do not see how you are going to eat it and be rid of hunger with such small a creature."

"Eat-? What the hell, Loki!" Darcy shrieks, pulling the bowl away from her boyfriend and to her chest protectively. "People don't eat- well, people do eat fish, but not this type of fish! This is a goldfish."

"It looks orange and unremarkably like gold to me," remarks Loki.

Darcy rolls her eyes. "Yes, I know, you take everything so literally," she grumbles (she's really gotta get him to stop doing that). "But this is a pet, not food!"

"A pet? You Midgardians are strange," Loki declares, looking at the fish strangely. "You eat creatures and also keep them as pets at the same time? You mortals are certainly more bloodthirsty than I had ever imagined."

"No, there are just certain types of fish to eat," Darcy explains. "This isn't one of them; this is one to keep for a pet. Now come over here, I want to show you how easy it is to keep a pet." She walks into the kitchen and sets the fishbowl proudly on the table, waiting for Loki to follow.

He's still looking at her like she's crazy, but he does.

Darcy digs through the pet shop bag she has on her arm, taking out a can of fish food and a fake plant to put in the bowl to make it pretty. She heads back into the kitchen, hands Loki the food, and then sets the plant in the fishbowl.

Loki watches all of this skeptically. "What are you doing?" he asks again.

"Making his home pretty," Darcy tells him matter-of-factly. Obviously he knows nothing about fish, but he's smart; he should get it. "Now you can feed him, if you want."

"I do not want to." Loki's answer is sadly predictable.

"Aw, you think you have a choice," Darcy mock coos, which makes Loki frown. "Now feed the damn fish, okay!" She gestures to the fish with her hands, knowing he isn't about to start doing it willingly.

"Why must I feed it?" Loki asks in disgust as he reads the back of the fish food can. "I am a God, not a servant of such a dull minded creature as this one."

Darcy rolls her eyes. Of course the guy has serving issues.

"It's just food. It kind of needs that to live," she reminds him.

"If it wished to live it would serve itself if its own food," sniffs Loki snootily, but he shakes the can anyway and serves the fish just the right amount of food it needs. "And what now must we do?" he asks as he watches the fish devour its food, a plain look of disgust on his face.

"Enjoy how fun it is," Darcy says. "See? He's happy."

Loki doesn't believe her. "You have no way of telling," he counters. "For all we know, the creature could be basking in discomfort and is only eating to mask the pain."

"Well if he is, then he's my type of fish," Darcy says, sighing and remembering when she used to eat away her own problems. Ah, the joys of last week. "Okay, now we have to pick a name for him!"

"It must be named as well?" Loki looks at the fish with a new level of disgust on his face. "First I must serve it, and now you wish to be bonded with it?"

"That's what pets are for," Darcy stresses.

Loki shakes his head. "This custom is strange," he mutters.

Darcy rolls her eyes. "Thank you, E.T.," she deadpans. "Now come on, bounce some names off of me. He's your pet too, so we should pick a name together."

Loki sighs. "Very well. What of the name Hel?"

"We are not naming our fish after hell, that's just rude," Darcy scolds.

"You misunderstand, my dear. I refer to Hel the name," Loki counters.

"Like H-e-l?" Darcy asks.

Loki nods, satisfied.

"...your daughter?" Darcy slowly asks.

Loki's satisfaction fades away. "I beg your pardon?" he asks.

"I looked you up on Google," Darcy explains. "There was, like, a whole list of your kids. Hel, Fenrir, some kind of sea serpent...and also a horse. Did you really get knocked up by a horse?" Loki's always been a bit experimental in bed, but to the level of fucking a horse? Kinda creepy to think about.

"You believe me to have children?" Loki's looking at her like she really is crazy. "That is an absurd idea!" he sputters, now looking sorta offended.

"So Sigyn isn't real either?" Darcy can't help but ask.

"Sigyn? Who is that?"

"...your wife?" Darcy offers.

"Wife?!" Loki now looks pissed off. "Who is telling these lies of me? I shall find this insolent fool and take his life if he dares to continue!"

"Okay first of all: sexist! Second of all: so that's not true?" Darcy asks.

"No, of course not," Loki huffs indignantly. "They must all be rumors."

"Oh. Well okay, then," Darcy says slowly, trying really hard not to picture Loki with a horse and miserably failing. "As long as I don't have to go crazy ex-girlfriend on this Sigyn's ass, then we're good. So, pet names?"

Loki, looking sort of lost at her (pretty good) wordplay, just mutters, "You may name the creature as you desire. I do not wish to partake in this game of names any longer."

"No can do, mister. This is a couple thing. So throw me another name. I know last time you managed to choose the name of one of your imaginary kids, but this time it won't be as bad," Darcy says, because what are the odds?

Loki gives in. "Very well. What about Sleipnir?" he suggests.

Welp, the odds were pretty fucking good, it seems.

Loki sees the look on her face. "Do not tell me," he groans.

"...Yeah, that's the name of the horse you supposedly gave birth to."

Loki rubs a hand over his face, and Darcy has to stifle a laugh. Even when he's not a bad guy anymore, he still gets the worst luck. Ladies and gentleman, that's Loki for you.

"Name the damned creature yourself," Loki growls, pulling his hand away and still looking kinda pissed. "I will not subject myself to this ridiculous task."

"Well, I can bounce some names too, I guess," Darcy says, trying to make him feel better about this. "Let's see...Bob. Jerry. Oprah. I like Oprah, actually..."

Loki makes a face. "We will not name it after an entertainer of yours," he snaps.

"Ha! So you do care what we name the fish!"

Loki rolls his eyes. "I merely care that his name will not be foolish."

He so cares.

"Okay, then, give me some better ideas," Darcy challenges. "Good luck with that one, buddy, because Oprah is possibly the most badass name anyone could ever name their pet fish."

"Why must it have a name?" Loki asks, changing the subject. "Surely it will not respond to any name you give it; these creatures are remarkably dull."

"It's fun," Darcy stresses, though to be honest, he's got a point. Fish aren't like dogs; they're not going to look to you and smile and wag their tails when you call their name...dammit, she wants a puppy!

"This does not seem fun to me."

"Nothing's fun to you, idiot," scoffs Darcy, and Loki looks offended at the remark, which makes her grin in his direction. He sits down in one of the chairs around the table, staring at the fish and keeping his offended face on.

"His name should be gallant," he finally says. "Something extraordinary."

"Hello, Oprah."

"No," Loki says flatly.

Darcy groans dramatically. "You're no fun," she accuses, going over to his chair and throwing herself over the back so her chin is on top of Loki's head. "What about Ringo?"

"We are not naming our pet after your beloved bug member."

"Ringo Starr is just one member of the Beatles, Loki, gosh," scolds Darcy. "That doesn't mean when I want to name our pet Ringo that I'm...heeeey, you just said the fish was our pet! I knew you'd love him." This she finishes off with a pinch to Loki's cheek lovingly.

Loki sucks in his cheeks, clearly tired of this whole thing. "I am attempting to endure this task for you, Darcy," he says. "Do humor me about it."

"Fine, we'll name him something gallivant-"

"Gallant."

"Whatever. We can always name him...Thor," Darcy offers mischievously.

Loki stiffens underneath her, which makes Darcy laugh.

"Kidding, babe," she assures him, leaning over and placing her hands over his shoulders and her cheek side-by-side with his. "What names do you have that are gallivant?"

"Gallant. And I have a few. Balder, perhaps, or Malik, or even-"

"Cutting you off there," Darcy interrupts. "You know I like your accent and could hear you talk all day, but these names? Boring and old-timey. We need something cute and interesting."

"Cute?" Loki echoes, incredulous. " No, what we need is a name to which our pet's enemies will tremble at hearing," he argues. "One such as Serkon, or-"

"Nope, not cute," Darcy cuts him off. "We have to name him something that sticks and just falls out easily. Saying 'Hey Loki, did ya feed Serkiderk' isn't good."

"Serkon."

"Yeah, we need something cuter," Darcy goes on, ignoring him. She appreciates his effort, of course, but if the guy can't appreciate the name Oprah then he's got something wrong with him. "Like Fishy."

"Fishy," Loki echoes, and the cute name sounds really weird in his serious tone.

Darcy kinda likes it. "Yup," she says proudly.

"It is ridiculous," Loki deadpans. "You have merely added a sound to the end of the creature's species. It will not make any enemies our pet shall have tremble in the slightest."

"And who's gonna be the fish's enemy? You?" Darcy mocks. "Hate to break it to you, Loki, but the only people the fish is ever going to know are me, you, and probably Jane and Thor. There's no way it's going to have enemies."

"You say that now," argues Loki. "If it happens?"

"Then I'm probably drunk and imagining it," quips Darcy. "Now c'mon, what do you think? Fishy's cute, it's catchy, and I can say that really easy. 'Loki! Come feed Fishy!' See? Cute."

Loki's hands go up to touch Darcy's, slowly intertwining their fingers. "You are lacking one part of judgement, my dear," he says. "I will not be feeding this creature at all; I will not wait hand and foot for such asinine creatures."

"Asshole," Darcy grumbles, but she lets him keep holding her hands because while he's an asshole, he's her asshole. "Then I'm totally keeping his name as Fishy, and you can't do anything about it."

"Very well," Loki agrees. "You shall be the one waiting on him hand and foot."

Darcy sighs. Well, the whole bringing-home-a-pet thing backfired now that Loki just realized how he would have to be serving the fish and taking care of it. Maybe she'd better wait for the whole asking-for-a-puppy thing.

"You suck," she declares, sighing.

"Eloquent as usual, my dear." Loki's grip on her fingers tighten. "By the way, may I ask what compelled you to go and buy a pet? Surely you did not truly want this creature."

"Shut up, Fishy can hear you," Darcy scolds. "And I figured we should get a pet. Y'know, couples do that...sometimes..." When they want a puppy so freaking bad.

"Hmm. Well, dear, if we ever do get that dog, I inform you now that I will be the one naming it, as you have so fully failed at naming our current pet," Loki notes.

Darcy quickly pulls her hands away and circles around the table to glare at him. "How'd you find out?" she demands, placing her hands on her hips.

"Jane informed me," Loki says, and he has the nerve to actually smirk at her. "She said you have always wanted a dog, and that I should brace myself for the begging you would do. Though, I'm fairly certain purchasing a fish was not something Jane foresaw."

Darcy crosses her arms. "You knew that the whole time?"

"Of course," says Loki effortlessly.

"...Asshole," Darcy grumbles again.

Loki just starts to laugh, the idiot. "Do not be cross, my dear," he says smoothly. "For what it is worth, you made a valiant attempt to sneak past me to get your way. It was rather interesting."

Darcy just uncrosses her arms, picks up Fishy's fishbowl, and tosses her hair back dramatically, moving away from the table with the bowl tucked in her arms. "Fishy and I aren't going to talk to you," she calls behind her back.

"How upsetting," Loki says from the kitchen, probably still smirking as he adds, "I was rather looking forward to what stimulating company the fish could have provided."

"Don't be a smartass!" calls Darcy as she takes Fishy into her room, shutting the door behind her. She isn't mad, exactly, but kinda pissed. Just kinda, because Loki didn't do anything. No, she's more of embarrassed that Loki knew this whole time and now she has a fish. A fish who is going to grow up with the weirdest name ever, being named Fishy. Darcy doesn't even like it that much; it sounds funny, now that she thinks about it.

Aaaand now she's thinking about a fish like it's even going to give two shits about Loki or its name. All it's ever going to do is swim around and do fish stuff, not care about stuff like names and what people call it.

Oh well, all the more reason to name it Oprah.

To the following people, a massive shoutout:

scarletwitch0

maya

awong111

DoubleDee068

JigokuShoujosRevenge

Nolesr1

FloraIrmaTylee- I used your word, so extra shoutout!

CupcakeFlake

rachelisafallenangel

Thank you for the reviews! We've already passed fifty! That's amazing! And you all have the best word ideas, too! You don't know how hard it was to pick a word for this chapter. I assure you, though, I will do a word from every person who has been reviewing at least once by the time this whole thing's over, so keep sending in words! Let's hope I get some awesome ones for the letter G, though thanks to DoubleDee068 for already suggesting some. :)