A/N: You know, I tried to make this smaller, and failed. But hey, freakish fast update! Huzzah! Glory to the 'I don't need sleep' gods. If you do notice some typos, you should probably mention it, because my eyes have crystallized at this point, and I have no idea what I just proofread. It could have been Harry Potter. I don't know.
Oh look, the ceiling of the medical bay. That was a real shocker to wake up to. It also dawned on me that this cot I was spending quality time with? Not that comfortable. I should really bring that up with management. Memory foam is the future guys. Get on it. Or maybe this was the ships subtle way of telling me I was a clumsy, danger ridden, accident-prone idiot, and I should stay the hell out of trouble if I wanted to be comfortable.
Actually, that sounded a lot like something this ship might do.
Still, the kink in my back was unappreciated. Badly done ship, badly done. I exhaled as I tried to stretch it out, blinking under the glare of the death ray that they claimed was a 'healing' lamp. What bullshit.
"How are you feeling?" The Professor's voice startled me, but I was still too groggy to jump. He had to be right next to me, and when I raised my hand to block the light, the only thing I could see clearly were those pale intensely probing eyes of his.
"Blind." I croaked. And maybe a little parched. He stood up and it was only then that I realized he had been holding my other hand. Of course, he let go to turn off the lamp. Stupid stupid lamp.
"And now?" All I could still see were his eyes. That probably had more to do with the fact that it felt like they were pinning me to the bed than how quickly my vision was returning.
"What are you- Oh. Hello Fitz." The Doctor said as I sat up. Slowly. Whoa. Easy girl. "I told you not to fuss. She's up entirely too early." The Doctor made a face at the Professor.
"Early?" Try not to focus on the spinning feeling. You don't want to prove the Doctor right. "What time is it?"
"Well, technically it's four in the afternoon. Where we're headed anyway. What I really meant was that you've only had three hours of sleep, and it looks as though you could use twice that." There was that cross look at the Professor again. The Doctor reminded me of a fussy nanny. That was a chilling thought.
"If you're implying I was over here poking her for the past two hours to wake her up, you're mistaken."
"It's not implying if she's awake now, is it?"
"Ladies," I put up my hands to stop the Professor from snapping back. "It's okay. I'm fine." Well, mostly. The spinning had stopped, so I counted that as a win.
"We'll see," the Doctor said, pulling his sonic out of his pocket and scanning it over my head. It warbled for a few seconds and the Doctor frowned, looking more closely at the readings it was giving him. "Well, that's odd."
"No." I shook my head determinedly. "No more odd. Whatever it is, ignore it. It's wrong. I'm fine." If I had grown a horn, so be it. We just weren't going to talk about it.
"Well, nothing is wrong." The Doctor shrugged as he snapped the screwdriver shut and tucked it back into his pocket. "It's just your vitals…well, they appear rather normal."
I frowned at him. "You seem really disappointed by that."
"Not disappointed," he opened my eyes wider with his fingers and peered into them curiously. Then he snapped in my face a few times, so I swatted him away. "Just a bit…confused. Ah well, good news is good news, right?" He grinned and turned back to the box of bandages he was trying to, and ultimately failing at, organizing.
"If it's any consolation, I feel kind of crappy." Sort of in that cottony way where everything seems a bit out of focus. But that could just be me waking up since I was notoriously bad at that. Still, anything to reassure the mad man with the bow tie.
"Here," the Professor turned to the counter and poured something from a kettle into a large coffee mug. "Drink this, it'll help."
"You and your incessant need to cram tea down my throat," I sighed. It probably would make me feel better, and he tended to make it in a way that I could choke down, but there was no reason I couldn't bitch about it. "Has it occurred to you that I'm just never going to get on the tea bandwagon? There's a reason my people threw your shit in the harbor."
"I beg your pardon?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Er. That was the British…sorry. With the accents, I tend to forget…Um. Not big on history jokes are you." Oops. Hey, I nearly died, I'm confused. And groggy. Don't judge me.
"Not particularly." The Professor was pushing the mug into my hands. "And, incidentally, it has occurred to me that you may not warm to tea in the near future. Which is why that's not tea." I stared down into the mug, but I didn't really need to look, because the delicious smell was enough to give it away. It was hot chocolate.
Damn.
He wasn't even bothering to hide the satisfied look on his face as I looked back up at him.
"You ass." I muttered. If it was possible, he looked more pleased with himself.
"Well, it is nice to see you're well enough to have your usual…charming personality." The Doctor said cheerfully as he looked between me and the Professor.
"I'm starting to think my bad attitude is just a coping mechanism for all the insanity we go through," I muttered. It was a perfectly reasonable explanation, which was slightly undermined by the very loud grumbling that came from my stomach. "Or I'm just grumpy because I'm hungry."
"I'll go find something. Drink," the Professor urged me. "And try to stay out of trouble." He gave me a meaningful look before he turned to leave.
"Ha ha." So not amused. As he left, I noticed how stiffly he was walking, and then remembered he had been shot. God. Really should have asked about that. Too busy bitching about the cot, and waking up- Christ, he was just shot and he wasn't even limping. How does someone do that-
"Nice to see you two getting on." The Doctor said casually as he looked up from the bandages.
Oh no. Not this again. "Yep." We were not going to have another one of those talks. No matter how much he was mother henning me right now. No. Nope. He was so bad at them. I was so bad at them. Was it too late to feign passing out? I'd have to sacrifice my hot chocolate, which I could tell you from preliminary tasting, was delicious. No, not worth it. I took another sip to remind myself why I had to just weather the storm. Ahhh tasty bliss.
"Do you think you might be getting…serious with each other?"
God dammit. That was way too specific. Lie. Lie. "Not really." That would have been a great casual answer if my voice hadn't gone a few octaves too high to be convincing. Dammit. I used to be so good at this, what happened? I'm delirious, that's what happened. He's taking advantage of a recently wounded comrade. This was entrapment.
"Is that your official answer?" The Doctor asked mildly.
"Maybe. Why?" I asked him with a narrowed gaze. It wasn't really any of his business, was it?
"Because, like it or not Fitz, I'm your friend and I care about you." Damn. Now I felt kind of bad. He went back to packing his box in the cupboard. "And with the way the Professor's been acting recently, it seems as though…well, it seems as if he may be remembering how things had been between you two previously," he stopped and looked at me curiously. "Has he mentioned anything about how you two were…involved in the past?"
Oh god. Oblivious Doctor knew everything. "No." I could feel the blood rushing to my face and I took another drink of the hot cocoa in the hopes that it might just look like I burned myself. Even though it was the perfect temperature.
"Well. Then I supposed that leaves only one other option." He was looking at me again, like I'd done something wrong.
"Oh yeah?" I said brightly. I was the picture of innocence.
"I think you know." He raised a judgmental eyebrow at me.
No. I don't. Absolutely not. If there was one thing I was good at, it was knowing nothing. And acknowledging nothing. I kept my lips pressed in a tight line and shrugged.
"Perhaps I'll explain it to you then," the Doctor rolled his eyes. "It was earlier when the Professor went missing. I went to look for him, but I came across Donna. She mentioned that he might be speaking with you, and she also mentioned, in no uncertain terms, that if I were to interrupt you, she would beat me to death with my own arms." He looked genuinely offended. "Which, I might add, is really excessive, honestly. Anyway. I let you two have your chat, assuming it was innocent. But I waited for hours, and with Donna's inexplicable enthusiasm keeping me away, I have to assume that your innocent chat was really-"
"Okay! Shut up! Jesus. Stop!" I threw up my arms in defeat. I'm not sure there was enough blood in my body to fully express how humiliated I would be if he actually said the word 'sex' or 'banging' or 'horizontal tango' or really any variation of those. If anything could be worse than admitting what had happened, it would be having the Doctor verbalizing it. "Yes. Okay? Yes. We were…hooking up." That was pretty PG-13, which I thought was considerate of me. "And it sorta ended with us in some kind of semi-relationship. Which I don't even know what that really means, because one minute I'm totally trusting the guy, and the next second, bam I think he's the most vile betraying bastard scum in the universe. And it turned out that was just some clever ruse, but it's still a lot to recover from and-" Wow. I had said that all in one breath. What was more alarming was that it had actually felt nice to say it somewhere other than in my completely insane brain. "So that's what was going on."
The Doctor's jaw was nearly on the floor. That was…unexpected. "On my ship? You two were- you're like rabbits!" He threw up his hands, clearly annoyed.
"…What? But you just….you were going to say that's what we were doing."
"That is most certainly not what I was going to say. I thought you had been explaining your history, and you had been hiding it because I said that it might be best for him to try and remember on his own. I see now that was not the case." He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. Jesus. Oblivious Doctor hadn't known. But he sure as shit knew now. If I had a nickel for every time I wanted to melt into the floor, I could probably fill the god damn moon. And have a sizable pile left over. Maybe big enough to bury myself under. But then I would have to carry around a giant sack of nickels. That seems like a lot of effort. Maybe if I would just learn to keep my mouth shut I could skip the nickel camouflage plan. Wouldn't that be a nice thought?
"Surprise." I said weakly. The Doctor shook his head, and then he started to grin. And then he chuckled. Was he laughing at me?
"Fitzgerald, I'm sorry, but you've got rubbish taste in men."
A small part of my brain flared up, conscious that I had technically been insulted. But the rest of my brain responded with an 'Oh my fucking god, I know, right?' so I wasn't that surprised when I snorted. "You're not wrong about that."
"Sorry," he shook his head again, trying to wipe the smirk off his face. "I reacted a bit badly there. I just didn't expect you two…so quickly." He cleared his throat, ending that line of thought. Thank god for small favors. "So he really hasn't remembered?"
"No." Well, there were a few things he had picked up. Like tea, or my dreams, or when he called me Fitz. None of that really screamed 'I remember everything, burn it all down' to me. Also, the shorter I could make my answer, the shorter this conversation would be. Hopefully.
"Strange," he nodded. For one brief happy moment, I thought he might be done. "So," damn. Damn damn damn. "He's taken a particular interest in pursuing you, all on his own." God, he was going to stop talking, wasn't he? This is hell. I've died, and I'm in hell. Right now. Fewer fires than I expected. Though my face was probably providing heat aplenty for Satan and company. "Fitz, is this something you want?"
Nooooooo. I do not want this conversation. I do not want to be having an in depth discussion with the Doctor about my relationship with the Professor. "Listen, this is going to come off as rude, but if you keep talking, I might have to jam your tongue down your throat."
"You bring up an interesting point," the Doctor said slowly. Swallowing, so I knew I had legitimately worried him. "But I'm only asking because if you do want to pursue this as more than…well, more than a one off. You might consider telling him about your prior…situation."
"You've been talking to Donna again, haven't you?" The accusation felt slightly better than just sitting there and turning bright purple. So it was progress.
"You know," he said, looking mildly cross with me. "I'm perfectly capable of being concerned on behalf of your wellbeing without Donna's suggestion. And I've not spoken with her since the 'beating to death with my own arms' incident. So, no, I haven't."
I sighed. "Really, I appreciate it. " The whole, fatherly wisdom thing- Or…whatever you're doing. I do. But I'm great. I've got a handle on things." That was a lie. "I'm super. Let's not talk about this."
"I'm only-"
He was persistent. Time for plan B. I put down my mug and covered both my ears. "Lalalalalalalalalalalala." I closed my eyes too, because I was a god damn professional.
"Fitz," It took him less than a second to cross the room and pull my hands down. He was looking all stern too. Ugh. That meant I probably couldn't immature my way out of this one. Not without incurring some serious time lord wrath in my direction. "I'm only trying to explain that it would be kinder for you to tell him. This may come as a surprise to you, but it's not always easy for time lords, or people really, to admit what and who they need." The way he said the words made me think that he wasn't just referring to the Professor.
"I really doubt he needs me." I scoffed. Needing and wanting are two entirely different things. I had no doubts about the wanting. He had made that pretty clear. "Besides, I don't know that I'm altogether impressed with your insider information when you were the one who thought we were just talking." Didn't really want to bring that up again so soon, but, it was a valid point.
"I'm a bit preoccupied, generally, but I'm not blind. I had no idea that you might reciprocate those kinds of feelings until I found you in the hallway. And then the way you looked at him, like he was the only person in the world-" he stopped and gave a sad smile. My mouth had gone dry, I remembered that feeling, the welling of relief that had rushed through me when I saw he was, for the most part, okay. "Well, let's just say I recognized it. As eager as you are to keep him safe, he's also awfully quick to come to your aid when you're in trouble for someone he doesn't need."
I shrugged, but it was getting harder to ignore what he was saying. "That's just because he owes me big time. I'm the one who saved his ass, remember? Your ship was the one who wanted to jettison him into space and turn him into a meat popsicle."
The Doctor smiled in a placating way. He knew I was arguing with myself as much as I was with him. "He doesn't strike me as the sort of man who feels obligated to return favors. Nor is obligation the look I'd describe him having when he looks at you." He leveled me with his most serious stare and I really really wish I had that pile of nickels to disappear into. "You should tell him." I didn't have anything I could say, or argue with him. Captain Oblivious of the Totally Ignorant Enterprise had noticed the Professor making eyes at me. How long had that been going on? I mean I had noticed his rather direct stare, but I just assumed that's how he looked at everybody. Before I could think of something snarky to say to save myself from looking completely lost, the Doctor smiled, and then, much to my annoyance, ruffled my hair. "But what do I know. I'm just a fussy old man."
The smiled didn't quite reach his eyes and his tone made it glaringly obvious that he knew exactly what he was talking about. Possibly from personal experience.
"Anyway," he clapped his hands together. "I'm off to see Donna-" He must have noticed that scathing look I gave him because he frowned. "Don't give me that. It's not about you. She was working on reconfiguring the overheated core. Though, I do owe her a fiver, now that I think about it." I was confused until it clicked. They had placed bets. Oh, I was going to kill the bothof them so dead. "Not, of course, until you tell her yourself." He offered, like that was the reason I was annoyed. "Ah, hello there." He said as he turned, the Professor having just entered the doorway with a tray of fruit and pastries. My kind of tray. "We were just talking about you and…" the Doctor stammered to a stop as he looked back at me, the smile briefly melting off his face because I was glaring daggers at him. "Your…excellent taste in hot beverages." He smiled again, like he was genuinely proud of having come up with that. The idiot. "Lovely, really. Hot chocolate. Never would have thought of that. Just brilliant. The very best- Okay, I'm going now." The swift kick in the back of his leg, which may not have been particularly subtle, also finally shut him up. Or maybe he had just run out of ways to make it completely obvious he was lying.
"Can't say I've heard that before." The Professor said mildly. I picked up my mug to drink from, just so I wouldn't have to look directly at him.
"Yes. Well. It's absolutely true. Anyway. I'm off!" The Doctor gave a cheerful wave and walked out of the room. The Professor turned his attention back to me, which is when the Doctor appeared in the doorway and made several wild gestures at the Professor and mouthed 'tell him'.
I had to spit the drink back into the cup to keep from spraying it everywhere. The Professor frowned.
"So he was mistaken then?" He asked as he walked closer. He set the tray down on the nearby counter, but instead of stopping at a comfortable distance, like the stool, or maybe the counter, he chose to lean against the cot directly next to where I was still sitting. We really needed to talk about personal space.
"What?" I was too distracted by him being in my bubble to pay any attention to what he was saying.
"About my superb taste in beverages." He nodded to the cup I was holding.
"Oh…uh. No. This is great. I just…" got distracted by the Doctor making ridiculous gestures in the hallway? I didn't know how to finish my excuse, so I didn't.
"Well that's a relief." He said tonelessly. We sat there in silence for a moment, and I tried my hand at drinking again. "As a point of interest, I considered my 'obligation' long since paid. Though, you of course, still have my gratitude."
Well, there went another mouthful back into the cup. Some of it managed to dribble down my chin. My whole body was seized with fear as I frantically tried to wipe it away. Okay. Don't panic. He just caught the tail end, it's fine. This isn't a big deal. It's fine. I'm fine. Everything is fine.
"All of it." He added, casually.
I looked directly at him, which was my first mistake. "Sorry?" Asking him to clarify would be my second mistake.
"The conversation. Between you and the Doctor. Jack was already bringing you a tray so I met him in the hallway. So if you're wondering how much of the conversation I heard, it was all of it." His clear blue eyes pierced me to the spot. Did it just get super hot? And impossible to breathe? Just me then? Great.
"You know, I think Donna needed some help with the core heater…thingy…" I started to scoot forward off the edge of the cot, but he knew my plan before I did because he turned to face me, stepping directly between me and any kind of freedom. Was that fainting plan still an option? I was done with my cocoa anyway. Do people make noises when they faint? Should I do that hand to my forehead thing? Or is that just in the movies. God, I'm starting to feel a little nauseous. I might actually pass out.
"I'm pretty sure they can get by without your help." He said with some certainty. "And before you try and shove your way past me, please keep in mind that I've been recently wounded." He pulled up the bottom of his shirt just enough to prove that his stomach was covered with a white bandage. Well, half covered. There was also a sizable portion that wasn't covered. But that wasn't distracting at all. Not in the least. Not even where I could see that outline of his hip-
Jesus Christ. Get your head out of the gutter.
"Jack help you with that?" I asked quickly, in the hopes that it would disguise the fact that I had been ogling him.
"As a matter of fact, he did." He said, lowering his shirt once more. There, that was one less thing to worry about. "Seemed rather eager about it."
"That doesn't surprise me." I rolled my eyes.
"He was also happy to help reset my nose." He said, arching his eyebrow. Damn. Had forgotten about that. I didn't shoot him, but I had definitely turned his face into a blood fountain.
"Yeah…sorry about that." I chewed my lip. "You were kind of being an asshole at the time."
"That's irrefutable." He admitted. "But then, that was part of the plan."
"Well it was a crap plan. Why wasn't the plan just to untie me in the first place? Skip the whole charade?" I snapped a little, because…well, god dammit. He had been real convincing. In a terrifying kind of way. I'd been in a good place, and then suddenly everything had gone to shit. And he was most of the cause. Temporarily anyway.
He frowned at me. "She had a gun Fitzgerald, and she was supremely unbalanced. If she thought for even a second that I was there to help you instead of her, she would have immediately disposed of me and continued her work. The Doctor would have received no warning, and you would have died."
"Oh." I hadn't really thought about that. "That uh. That makes a lot more sense now. If it makes you feel any better, it gave me a killer headache."
"No," he said, narrowing his gaze. "Knowing I pained your further does not make me feel any better." He sighed and shook his head. "I suppose I had it coming." He shrugged. Except, it maybe it was starting to see like he really didn't. If anyone needed to be punched in the face, it was probably me. "Now as to your conversation with the Doctor." He grew more serious, which was impressive, since he'd been pretty serious already. "Is there anything you would care to elaborate on?"
Crap. Craaap. Mayday, abort mission. Back flip engage. Go go gadget back flip. Why was this not working? Probably because I couldn't even log roll backward, but that was so beside the point right now.
"Not…really?" My voice was a squeak. A damnably guilty sounding squeak. I'm so utterly doomed.
He watched me a moment longer, before finally sighing. "Fitzgerald, I'm not going to force you to talk about it," he took a step back so I could breathe again, and, more crucially. Escape. "But I wish you would."
My path to freedom was there and…god dammit. That scheming bastard. He was being understanding. And sweet. Well shit. Now I had to tell him. What a manipulative asshole.
I pinched the bridge of my nose and groaned. "Alright," I said. I didn't have to look at him while I said it. He couldn't make me do that. "But you do realize that it's going to be all kinds of awkward? You get why it's not something I'm inclined to talk about?"
"Of course," he nodded gravely. "I just hope that by knowing more about how I treated you…that I can begin to make amends. If that's possible."
"Well…sure…" wait. Was this about the Rassilon thing? No, because I was pretty sure he didn't remember that. So what he said…didn't make any sense…? "Wait, what are you talking about?"
"Our previous situation, presumably. Though I don't think it'll be as awkward as you fear."
"Yeah, well, you aren't explaining to someone who forgot, about how you two had sex, so I don't-" I stopped, because he had stiffened so suddenly it startled me. I looked up at and he sort of had the look on his face that I'd expected if I had kicked him in the balls. "Uh…you still there?"
"We…we were intimate?" He was way too surprised by that revelation. Why the hell was he so surprised? He heard me and the Doctor talking. He said he heard the whole- Oh sweet Christ. I never mentioned anything about us getting together. I'm not even sure I had said we'd been in a relationship. I mean, the Doctor and I both knew, but we hadn't explicitly said…
But I just had.
How could I have done that twice in the span of ten minutes.
I want to die.
"When you said that earlier, with Ailla. I assumed you were just trying to…to manipulate me," he shook his head, blinking. Yep. That was me. Master manipulator. "I didn't realize you meant that we had actually…" His jaw tightened as he trailed off. Wow. He was taking this loads worse than anything I had imagined, and I'd imagined some real crap. "Fitzgerald," he looked at me as though it physically pained him to do so. "I'm so sorry."
Okay. That was a weird response. Like, really fucking weird. "Uh. It's okay? I mean, it wasn't…you weren't bad if that's what you're worried about." Wow. Ringing endorsement.
"I'm not worried-" He looked at me like I was completely out of my mind. Which sounds about right, because I was confused. "I'm sorry for what I did to you. That I would force myself-" He shook his head as he looked away again. "I knew I was a monster. I am one. But I never thought I would stoop to such a loathsome-" He shook his head again. Seriously, the man looked like he'd had the wind knocked out of him, and then someone had kicked his puppy. What the hell was he going on about?
"I think…I think I'm confused about what we're talking about here. Or maybe you are. There uh…" breathe, you are a grown up, you can talk about grown up things without being an idiot about it. "There wasn't any 'forcing' involved. I mean, you were sort of forward, but I kind of liked that, since I had no idea where I stood. And…yeah. Force is not the word I'd use for what happened between us."
"It was consensual?" He looked so desperate that I couldn't even laugh at him for using such a textbook word. I just nodded. "So…your reluctance to speak with me. The mistrust, and your avoidances. That was all…it was because you were afraid I'd find out we'd had a physical relationship?"
Okay, so it sounded stupid when he said it in that tone. He must have read the answer on my face. His shoulders sagged and he placed his hands on either side of me to support himself as his head drooped.
"Stars Fitzgerald, why didn't you just tell me." He was still shaking his head, under the mess of dark curls.
"Well," I had to clear my throat. "I did sort of mention, how it would have been weird." Wow. I sounded like I was thirteen. This was pathetic. "Are you going to be alright?"
"No, Fitzgerald." His head snapped up so fast I nearly jumped back. He looked furious. "I am not alright. I've been under the impression that this whole time, you've been afraid of me, because the only way I could explain your behavior, was by assuming I'd subjected you to the same kind of torture and abuse Jack so kindly reminded me I had a penchant for. And knowing that I had started to- I hated myself. I was drawn to you from the beginning, and the more I grew to know you, it only made the truth of it worse-"
"But," oh my god, this was bad. This was so bad and I was not even remotely prepared for this. "But we talked about that. That time on Atlas when you…" almost kissed me that first time. No. Do not say that. "When we were dancing." Nice recovery. "You asked and I told you we had been friends. That you'd never done anything like that."
"You said that," he agreed. "But you lie." Well. He had me there. I opened my mouth to argue, but I really couldn't. I did lie. Constantly. When did I become such a pathologically bad person?
"Oh," I finally said. Wow. He looked up at me and I got the impression that I would need to do better than that. "Look, I'm really sorry. If I had any idea that you were still thinking about that. I mean, I would have said something. It's just…you're impossible to get a read on." Nope, trying to steer the blame toward him was a bad move. Back it up sister. "Not that I would have ever guessed that. It's just, when you regenerated, I mean, I-" Just be a big girl. Say the words. It's literally impossible to make this any worse at this point. "I had feelings for you, before. But then you changed, so I had no idea what to think. And absolutely no idea how I could bring it up without making things really weird. And that was embarrassing because it seemed like I'd be the last person in the world you'd be interested in. But then…we sort of, went that direction again, but I thought if I told you then, you'd think I was insane- Well, I guess more insane. I was going to tell you last night, but then you showed up in my room and I just…I didn't want to screw that up." I sighed. That was as close as I could get to explaining what my reasons had been without just making crazy babbling noises.
He looked less angry now, more bewildered. "You thought…you didn't think I'd approve of you?" He seemed genuinely confused by that. Like it was so crazy to think Mr. Perma-frown might have anything nasty to say about having a relationship with a mildly nutty human.
"I- Well. Yeah." I finished dumbly.
"But you still argued with the Doctor about telling me just now. Do you still think I'd rebuke you?"
"No, but-" I tried to dodge his gaze, but he brought a hand up to my chin, forcing me to look at him. Hated it when he did that. It made it really hard to lie when he was staring so intently at me. But at the same time, the urge to do so was freakishly powerful. "It's just, sometimes it's hard to know where I stand with you."
"I thought I was quite clear about that before."
"Well, things were going okay, but then with the whole Ailla thing, I guess I thought that maybe you…" I swallowed.
"Nothing has changed. At least not for my part."
"Oh." I was saying that a lot today, and turning red a lot. Big day for facial capillaries and limited vocabulary.
"Yes, oh." He said. The confusion was gone, replaced with relief. And possibly some amusement. His eyes wandered down to my mouth as his fingers trailed to my throat. "Did you need reminding of how desperately I need you?"
Wow. Things had gone from clumsy and awkward to incredibly hot in t minus zero seconds. How did he do that? It was the voice. I blame his voice entirely.
"Um. Well. I do have terrible memory." I offered. He took a step forward, effectively making the distance between us almost nothing, and a smile pulled at the corner of his mouth.
"I know how tedious that can be." He murmured, his other hand sliding against my thigh, his hips pushed my knees apart so he could get even closer and I felt his hot breath against my neck. Goosebumps rippled out from where he left his kisses, his lips leaving a searing sensation across my skin as he climbed his way slowly to my jaw. My head tipped back as I closed my eyes and focused solely on the warm coiling feeling in my stomach. It was a nice change from the brick of dread that had been there earlier.
I searched for his mouth with my own, but he continued to tease me, cupping the back of my neck as he leaned against me, pushing me back over the cot so he could more easily nip at the skin just below my collarbone. His free hand slid up the fabric of my skirt and his hips pressed into mine and I might have made an inappropriate sound in my throat.
Whatever misgivings I'd had were effectively erased. Between how sincere he had been, and now, how eager he was to remind me that he meant it, I was absolutely lost. My hands tangled in his hair as he finally made his way back to my mouth, his lips pressing hungrily against my own, as if there were any doubt about how enthusiastic he was. I struggled to hold myself up so I could have enough leverage to respond, but he seemed to have the upper-hand there as he held me suspended between him and the cot. Still, I tried my damnedest to leave an impression, my hips moving in sync with my mouth. His chest rumbled as he pulled back, grazing my lower lip with his teeth and then sucking it into his mouth for a moment before releasing me.
I realized I was breathing hard once he stopped, but it was a miracle that I was breathing at all.
"Now," he said, his voice was low enough that it seemed to vibrate every bone in my body. "Was there anything particular you needed clarification on?"
"You know, I've been hearing an awful lot about how thick humans are. I could probably use a general refresher."
He grinned. "As you wish."
"Ahem." There was a knock from behind the Professor and I froze. "If you've got a minute, the Doctor is looking for help." Donna, that was Donna. Sounding like the smuggest asshole who ever lived. The Professor slowly stood upright again, helping me sit up, and let out an frustrated sigh before turning around. She met my eyes, and yep, she looked like the smuggest asshole in the world too. There was a barely disguised smirk threatening to burst out of her face at any moment. God damn her.
"Did he ask for my assistance?" The Professor asked in a sharp tone.
"Well, he didn't. But so far all he's been able to do is swear at the bloody console and hit it with a mallet. Which, unsurprisingly, hasn't been successful. We're also running on fumes here, so if we don't land in Cardiff in the next twenty minutes, we'll end up in a wall, or a volcano, or something equally likely to be problematic for, ya know, survival. So I was hoping you might find it in your heart to offer your services." She gave me a look when she said 'services'. Oh god, I have so many regrets.
"I suppose I'll have to, since my only other option is violent death." He muttered as he walked toward her.
"Don't get too cheery, I'm not saying that's off the table yet." Donna warned him.
"Isn't that an encouraging thought." He shot her a look and then turned back to me. "Fitzgerald, make sure you eat something. And get some rest. I'll be back later." The words themselves sounded completely innocent, but the look he was giving me? Not so much. Not innocent in the least. That look said he had plans. I shivered and nodded quickly. I could eat, I'm not sure I'd wind down enough to get any sleep, but I'd try. Satisfied, he walked out. Donna waited until he had gone, and then turned to me, grinning and giving me a big thumbs up.
"Oh shut up." I shook my head, but I was grinning like an idiot.
"I bloody well knew it." Donna was just so pleased with herself. I chucked one of the grapes from my plate at her, but she dodged it, and giggling, disappeared down the hallway. I tried to be annoyed with her, I really did. But then I'd think about the Professor and just…ugh. I could be a real sap sometimes, you know?