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Author's Note: Hi everyone! How are you all? Hope you're doing well and having a good week. And if not, maybe this little update will pick up you for a few moments. Thank you all once again for all of the wonderfully sweet and kind words that you've left on the story so far. I really do appreciate them! And your ideas for pranks have been awesome! Keep them coming! Today's chapter is more of a filler chapter, sorry but it still is important and I'm hoping that if I hear form enough readers in the next few days I can have the next chapter up a little sooner than usual. :D So don't forget to comment with a review. Thanks to all of you who have already. And I would also like to take a moment real quick just to say good luck to everyone taking finals/tests/Maymester classes (like me!)/having a crazy week at work or anywhere else. The weekend is almost here you guys! Gonna cut this short now. Thanks again for all of the wonderful support! It really means a lot! Thank you for stopping by to read, please review if you can, I hope you like it, and as always, please, Enjoy!
The smell of bacon, was there anything better to be woken up by? Not to Eric Forman. The moment his eyes blinked open and his nostrils caught a whiff of the sweet scent, he was ready to welcome the new morning…or at least what was left of the morning since his unset alarm clock read '11:25 AM.'
As Eric hurried down the carpeted stairs in the living room, his mouth watered more and the bacon aroma became a little stronger. And…wait a minute was that the sweet scent of chocolate too? Had his mom finally made chocolate covered bacon? This was going to be the best breakfast EVER!
An oversized grin stretched onto his lips and he reached out to push open the swinging kitchen door.
"Good mor…" he started to greet until he saw the sight that instantly put a damper on his big smile and caused his chipper tone to turn fearful when he shouted out an overdramatic, "Noooooo!"
Moving at lightning speed, Eric rushed over to the scene that had terrorized him so much. This scene being of his mother sitting at the kitchen table with Jackie Burkhart right beside her and a plate of brownies, along cups of coffee, placed in front of their smiling forms. He stood in the spot between their seats—being sure to give his backside to Jackie—and spread his arms open as if he were trying to create a wall to separate the two.
Neither Kitty nor Jackie knew what exactly the youngest Forman was up to and they looked at him and his actions questioningly; but before any questions could be asked, Eric looked to his mother and began to give out instructions.
"Mom, I know I may not look it but I'm stronger than you. I'll distract her and you…you just run!" he told her, his eyes wide with panic, "And whatever you don't look back! Just run!"
Kitty didn't budge an inch, continuing to stare at her son with confusion, "Eric, honey, what are you doing?"
"I'm protecting you." he tried to explain, desperation still in his voice, "Now go!"
"Protecting her from what?" Jackie piped up from behind him.
Eric turned his head then narrowed his eyes to look at the brunette and in a deep, low voice replied, "From you."
Glaring right back at Eric, Jackie had to hold back the urge to kick him in the back of his knee since his mother—and her new partner in crime—was still in the room. Meanwhile, Kitty only appeared to be more puzzled by the reply Eric had given.
"Now why would I need protecting from Jackie?" she asked, curiously.
"Because she's Jackie!" he replied, his voice sounding like that should be reason enough but the expression on his mom's face told him he needed to elaborate, "She's dark…and she's mean and evil…she's the Dark Side!" Eric suddenly realized causing his wall-like stance to crumble as he threw his arms around Kitty and cried, "Don't go to the Dark Side, Mommy!"
Kitty wasn't sure how she was supposed to respond to this. She even looked over at Jackie for some help but the younger woman looked far too annoyed to give any kind of assistance.
"Eric, it's okay, sweetie." Kitty spoke in her soft motherly tone, slowly pushing her son off of her so he could see her smile of assurance, "There is no Dark Side. I mean…well, there is that one side of town that puts those cheaper light bulbs in their streetlamps so they're not as bright but I wouldn't say that's the 'Dark Side of Town' it's more like…the 'Poorly Lit Side.'"
"Actually I heard they were forced to finally replace those cheapy light bulbs with the regular ones," informed Jackie.
The news made Kitty's smile to grow as she continued to look at her son, "Well now you see? Now there's no Dark Side or Poorly Lit Side! There's nothing to be afraid of anymore. So why don't you go down to the basement that way Jackie and I can finish with our Girl Talk."
"Girl Talk?" Eric repeated, looking back and forth at the two women he stood between, "You can't be having Girl Talk. You're not a girl."
Hearing this, Kitty's eyebrows rose up a few inches, "Excuse me?"
The tone that Kitty used in asking her question clearly told Eric that he had offended her but that hadn't been his intention at all. He was supposed to offend Jackie not his mom! This was a classic example of why he was sure Jackie was part of the Dark Side. He tried to explain himself but part of him was panicky and the rest of him was twitchy.
"No! No, of course you're a girl, Mom. I mean if you weren't then you wouldn't be my mom you'd be my dad. I'd have two dads and I…I…" he stumbled over his words and struggled to pick himself back up, "I meant Jackie. She's not a girl, she's…she's some kind of an evil, evil demon!"
"Well that is just rude, Eric. Jackie is not an evil demon or any kind of demon." Kitty tried to defend the young woman seated in the other chair, "She's been a perfect angel, taking the time to sit here with me and talk over coffee and brownies. It almost reminds me of the days before Laurie left to college."
Eric's face showed even more concern as his mind drifted back to the event his mother was referring to. Before Laurie left to college, every other Saturday morning Eric would find his mother and sister seated in the kitchen, talking, laughing, and eating sweets. He knew that those moments were ones that their mother treasured and held dear to her heart but Eric was almost positive that to Laurie those times were just ploys that she used to keep her title of 'Favorite Child' intact.
But now Laurie was gone and off in…somewhere that wasn't Point Place. Was his mother trying to replace her missing daughter? Or worse was Jackie trying to steal the throne and title of the 'Favorite Child?'
"Only a devil's minion can take the place left by another devil's minion." Eric said aloud, sounding like was in some sort of horror movie.
"Eric!" Kitty chided, hoping to snap him out of this.
Jackie shook her head and lifted up an open palm, "No, Mrs. Forman it's fine. I'd rather be called a demon or devil's minion than think I was actually taking the place of that skank of a whore your daughter is."
As Kitty's brow furrowed slightly, Eric couldn't help but grin at the burn directed at his absent sister. However, as soon as he noticed that he was agreeing and even siding with his enemy, he jumped away from the table and made an 'x' sign with his two index fingers, holding it front of him as if it were a shield that would protect him from the tiny brunette.
"No!" he commanded, his 'x' fingers still aimed out at Jackie, "Stay back! Back I say!"
While Jackie was merely annoyed by Eric's lame behavior Kitty was beginning to get more than a little tired and upset over it.
"Okay, you know what? I think that that's enough, Eric." she started to tell her son, in a lecturing tone that may not have sound like Red's but was enough to make things sound like she was speaking to an eight year old Eric instead of an eighteen year old Eric, "Jackie is a very nice and polite young girl. She not only stayed to talk with me but she was the only person, besides your father, who sat down to eat the breakfast that I slaved over a hot stove making. And I think it's time you started being a little nicer to her."
"She's gone." Eric said in a heartbroken whisper while his shoulders drooped and he looked upwards, blinking his eyes as id pushing back tears, while he slowly walked away from the pair, "First Red, then Hyde and now my mom…" his gaze traveled back down to Jackie and he glared straight at her, "Couldn't you have just taken Laurie instead?"
Jackie shrugged, "There was that one time we bonded over hot rollers and Three's Company."
"Oh God!" he cried out, realizing how truly alone he was now. He dropped himself down into his usual seat in the kitchen nook and then let his head fall onto the table top and using his arms to bury his face to hide—not so efficiently—his sulking.
Kitty smoothed the top of her son's head, sympathetically, "Oh honey, cheer up."
"No," came Eric's muffled reply, "I can't."
"Would some pancakes and bacon help?" she tried again.
There was a short pause before Eric gave his response, still sounding subdued thanks to his head remaining lowered. "Maybe."
A 'maybe' was a good enough answer for Kitty. She smiled and after giving him a quick pat, she got up from her seat and got started on fixing a plate for Eric's late breakfast…his brunch. While his mother was off preparing his plate, Eric finally lifted his head up and stared back at the former cheerleader.
"You can take my family, but you can't take my bacon." He told her wearing a smirk that he hoped would tell her how she hadn't really taken away everything that he loved from him.
It didn't and instead Jackie rolled her eyes, "Please, I took three pieces before you even woke up and got down here."
Eric's smirk flipped into a frown but he was determined to keep the evil from winning, "Oh yeah? Well how about I take one of your brownies?"
He reached out for the plate of the chocolate only to get a hard smack on the back of his hand before he could touch one of the brown squares.
"Ow!" he yelped in pain, "Mom! She hit me!"
Before Kitty could say anything, Jackie made sure the mother figure knew everything by adding, "He was trying to get a brownie."
"Eric, honey, you haven't had your breakfast yet. A brownie cannot be breakfast." Kitty said, shaking her head while filling still his plate up with more breakfast appropriate food.
Jackie smiled triumphantly but Eric never saw her; he was still gaping at his mother in shock. Now not only was she spending extra bonding time with Jackie but now she was taking her side on things! This was not going to go well for anyone but especially not him.
"But I…I was…fine." He muttered when he realized it might just be better to agree and avoid arguing with either one of them. Eric even considered that staying quiet for however long this phase lasted would be the best solution. He was getting ready to lock his lips up for the day until a sheet of paper on the table top caught his eye. "What's that?"
Immediately Jackie's gaze followed Eric's to the notebook paper, but her eyes quickly shot back up at Eric's and she tried to act casual.
"Nothing." She replied while moving her elbows onto the table so that her forearms covered the paper, "It's nothing."
Eric wasn't at all convinced, "No, no. That didn't look like a nothing, it looked like a something. In fact some people might even say it looked like a list. What is it?"
"You just said. It's a list." Jackie answered.
He eyed her suspiciously, "A list of what?"
"Of things."
"What kind of things?"
"It's a list of things that I need to pick up at the store today," explained Kitty as she joined the conversation, now standing back at the table with Eric's plate breakfast, "It's just a shopping list, honey."
However, Kitty's words didn't help persuade Eric and his scowl deepened when he recalled one of the things he'd spotted written down on the list, "You're gonna buy a zeppelin?"
"Well…you know how your father's business has just been booming since he started giving out those dirty calendars." Kitty reasoned before letting out a quick Kitty Forman laugh. "So why not?"
It still didn't make any sense to Eric. These past few days had just been getting weirder and weirder. First Red yelled at Hyde and not him, then his mom and Jackie suddenly became the new Lucy and Ethel, and now his mom was buying a zeppelin? What was going on here?!
And then it hit him.
"Oh my God," Eric said, his eyes growing as things clicked in his mind and he stared straight at Jackie and his mom as he spoke, "I have to warn Hyde."
"What?" they asked.
"I have to war…m Hyde." he tried to cover his tracks while carefully standing up from his seat; he didn't want the duo to know that he'd figured out what they were up to and had plans of telling Hyde all about it. It was likely to end badly for not just his friend but himself too. "He's living down in the basement and it's drafty down there. I have to warm him up before he gets sick."
Eric then made a dash to the basement door; but just before he reached the doorway he rushed back over to the table and grabbed the pieces of bacon from the plate Kitty was holding. After giving a quick explanation of how 'bacon helped raise the body's temperature' he took off for the basement door again—this time disappearing behind it and leaving the two women feeling more than a little confused.
"Mrs. Forman, I know he's your son and all…"Jackie began to say, "but did you ever think maybe there was just a big mix up at the hospital?"
"Oh Jackie, don't be silly, of course not. That is my baby boy who I love with all my heart." Kitty replied, taking her seat back, "Although there was a time when Red did."
Jackie nodded understandingly for a moment before the women got back to work on the tasks they'd been working on.
Author's Note: So what did you think? Good? Bad? So-so? Let me know in a review!
Again sorry if there wasn't a whole lot going on in this chapter, there's much more to come! And don't forget, if you've got more/new prank ideas feel free to share them! I've loved the ones you all have shared so far, quite the pranksters you are! :D
Until next time, thanks for reading, hope you liked, please review and lemme know what you think, stay tuned, take care, and have a nice day!