I am sorry for the delay. I am having my exams and am usually on a coffee overload. I am practically twitching with energy right now. This chapter is total crack and bullpoop. But then again this is a crack!fic. And I still adore Benny.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything but Mr. Poofy Bear.

Mr. Poofy Bear

Benny couldn't understand it. Why did Rock have to be so nice to Revy if this was how things ended?

Another tug on his arm and he nearly tripped. He sighed.

This was not his day. Jane had arrived two days ago and he had no idea how to explain the girl hanging onto his arm.

At least she was not ripping his hair off anymore.

He sighed again as he realized he just didn't know what to do about Jane. She had refused to talk to him, partly because she was angry and partly because she was scared. She had also been stalking the poor girl around with a baseball bat trying to bring everything back to the way it should be. Said something about that's how its done in movies. Somehow today she was missing.

It had all started three days ago. In a drunken rage Revy had stomped into the bathroom, slipped and rammed her head into the ceramic bathtub.

What was actually quite surprising was the speed with which Rock had leapt off the couch and reached the door and the force with which he had kicked it off its hinges to check on her.

Rushing in, they had found Revy on the floor, gripping her head and staring quietly at the roof. Thankfully, no bodily fluids had been lost. After dragging her out she gripped Benny's hair and promptly passed out muttering something about a Mr. Poofy Bear..

For the next few hours the office was blissfully silent. This was a rare occurrence as it was hard to find peace with a human volcano near by...a very active volcano...with a pair of custom Beretta's.

Alas, nothing good lasts long.

The door to the aforementioned volcano's current resting place (the spare bedroom) creaked open eerily. The three men had all but stiffened. Even Dutch seemed to have stopped breathing in anticipation of the inevitable.

But nothing happened.

Shocked by the lack of an outburst from the lagoon's resident demonic being, everyone turned to look at her as she stood there with a blanket clutched in one hand and rubbing her eye with the other.

What had happened next would haunt Benny for as long as he gets to live, because she walked up to him, gripped his hair and did the one thing no one could ever imagine her doing. Ever.

That's right, the legendary Revy Two Hands, The Harbinger of Death squealed like a little girl she so wasn't.

Then she had promptly dragged him to the kitchen to cook something for the three of them all the while squealing and chattering about something or the other. The only person who had eaten the abomination that she had called an apple pie was Rock and he had done it only to keep her happy. The things people did for love. Benny couldn't remember there being any apples in the office though.

Back to the present, he looked at the box in his hand. Revy hadn't quite stopped tugging at him yet but she was getting better. For starters she wasn't calling him Mr. Poofy Bear anymore. She had a concussion, the doctor had said while leering at her, until Rock went Chuck Norris on him.

Well, now the poor resident Chuck was admitted for food poisoning. Something to do with an unidentified food product ( wild guess, huh) and Dutch had quite literally abandoned him to live on his boat till Revy 'the five year old' got better. He had never felt so betrayed.

Anyhow, as he walked down the halls of the hospital, he silently prayed to some higher power to fix things soon...

Or God help him, he would forget his morals and drown the redhead in the kitchen sink.

Suddenly, Revy froze, still gripping his arm. He stopped, hoping he hadn't said that bit out loud, and looked at her. She blinked a few times before looking down at their interlinked arms her clueless expression turning angry.

God, had he missed this.

He couldn't help but cry tears of joy as she kicked him away and cursed up a storm.

They reached Rocks room. Benny walked behind her carefully observing her. He had taken special care not to tell her about certain details about the past three days. He tripped again, but this time on his shoe lace but stopped himself from falling over. Bending down he started tying them up.

Until he heard a shriek, that is.

Forgetting about his lace he ran into the room and stopped dead in his tracks as the scene unfolded in front of his eyes.

Jane had a baseball bat in her hand, Rocks face was white as a sheet and Revy was on her knees, gripping her head tightly.

It wasn't manly to cry, but he couldn't help it. He continued to weep as Revy looked up with glassy eyes and squealed;

"Mr. Poofy Bear!"

I shall now go ram my head into walls. Enjoy :)