Sorry for the delay people I was having a hard time but here is something I came up with in Law class.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Black Lagoon. Why make me say it over and over and over again. you sadists you.
The legend of the brave warrior
The sky was dark with clouds of gloom and doom. The heavens poured with a vengeance. A castle stood aloof amongst the tall trees. Surrounding it was a great forest of bushes and thorns and vines that coiled like snakes.
The young warrior stood on the raised land facing the castle. His grip tightened on his blade as he prepared for his heroic mission. His black coat bellowed behind him and the wind blew his silver hair into his eyes.
Legend had it that a beautiful princess with hair like the moonless nights and eyes like a storm was trapped in the tallest tower. She was known as the Dragon Princess. The evil witch who had trapped her was a master of disguise. The flame haired witch…Two Hands.
The warrior felt his face go a graceful crimson as he wondered the reason for such a name.
Gritting his perfect teeth he ran towards the Forest of Bloody Death, where the thorns that speared and vines that strangled awaited his arrival. His long legs carrying him gracefully, he raised his blade high above his head and slashed at the vines that reached for him.
A certain vine tripped him but he stretched out his hand to the ground and somersaulted over the man-eating flower swiping at it with his blade. Landing on his feet in a royal manner he waited for the flower to burst into smithereens.
Slashing and dodging, he made a final leap and landed on his knees, skidding a little with not a bit of damage to his pants.
But he was stopped by a man with Asian features. His tie fluttered evilly in the breeze. His apron gave him away! The evil witch was in disguise! Getting to his feet, the warrior bellowed,
"Surrender; Ye evil witch!"
"Ugh. I'm not the witch." He said whilst fixing his tie. "I'm the finance manger, cook and accountant. And I would like to inform you that all that damage you did to my garden is coming out of your pocket."
"Be quiet ye vile creature." The warrior bellowed, unfazed by the witch's monetary threat. "I shall not be fooled by your childish tricks. Now, hand over the Dragon Princess."
The vile creature looked rather disturbed and ripped off his apron.
"You know what? I quit!"
The warrior realized that the witch was escaping and ran to stab her….uhhh..him.
Just as his sword poked the witch the ground shook and cracked. The earth parted and a large demon with giant teeth and a mane of flames appeared from the depths of hell.
It roared and the ground shook with it.
"How dare you poke my accountant, you fool?" It roared and a few flames escaped its mouth.
"I am here to destroy this evil witch." The brave warrior stood his ground and pointed at the man standing beside the demon.
The demon reached its tail to the side and wrapped it around the man before carelessly tossing him away from dangerous grounds. Bending its head low to meet the warrior's eyes, it said in a low growl,
"I'm the evil witch, ya fucktard gigolo!"
"Nay, ye art the demon not the witch." He stood his ground undeterred. The demon sighed.
"I'm an evil witch asswipe. I can shapeshift." She said tiredly.
"Oh!" the warrior replied and poked her in the eye with his sword and the demon screamed and disappeared into a cloud of evilness.
He ran to the tower and reached its foot.
"Oh lovely Dragon Princess, it is I, your humble warrior." He said gracefully. "Let down your long tresses so that I can come and rescue ye."
"Aiyaa! I not let my hair down." A shrill voice yelled back. "What you think this shampoo commercial?"
"Then how shall I come up?" the warrior asked, but got no reply.
He sheathed his blade and started the long journey up. The wind was strong and threatened to make him fall and the rain made the brick wall slippery under his fingers but like a brave warrior that he was, he continued unafraid. Reaching the window he pulled himself in and stood, wet from the rain.
There she was, the beautiful Dragon Princess in her red pajamas with the flame haired witch also in her pajamas. She was in black though, as she was evil. And they played the torturous game of Monopoly!
"Let her go you hideous monster." He yelled.
DING!
The door to the left of the room opened to reveal the accountant-cook-finance manager and a gothic woman with a chainsaw carrying cookies and tea in a silver tray.
"Ye had a lift?" the worrier asked feeling foolish.
"Yeah of course I do dipshit, it's the latest trend amongst us evil people." The evil witch spoke, "Don't interrupt the game now."
The warrior ran at the witch with his sword and she pulled out her wan-
She pulled out her cutlass and fired three rounds into his chest causing him to fall out the window.
Revy interrupted Rotten and slammed her red haired Barbie down breaking its arm happily.
"Why did you do that?" Rotten yelled as he flung his Ken at the toy castle.
"Aiya! You two stupid stop fighting."Shenhua laughed as she gently placed her Chinese Barbie back into its box neatly. Sawyer continued to rip her gothic stuffed doll apart.
Rock simply sat in a corner, his fingers coiled tightly around his black haired Kens neck with a rather disturbed look on his face.
"Because I'm always the evil witch!" Revy yelled energetically.
Rock felt the Ken doll crack in his hands. He knew that mixing coffee and fairytales was a terrible idea when Revy ripped Rotten's Ken in two angrily muttering.
"Die you foolish warrior; no one pokes my accountant!"
Why can't I write romance? Its a curse. Well review my friends and not friends.