Here is the 5th chapter in this set. I couldn't help it. Its not all that funny but its humorous, so yeah.
Disclaimer: I own nothing!
POINTY
One fateful afternoon, Rock nearly fell out of Revy's room with a box in hand, instantly gathering the attention of the two men on the couch. He looked weird, his face was white with shock, and his eyeballs seemed to be on the verge of rolling out.
''Rock are you trying to get all of us killed?'' Dutch muttered,'' Put her stuff back.''
''No Dutch, just..''
''Why were you in Revy's room anyway? If she finds out about this you'll be swiss cheese.'' Benny spoke up, concern for his friend lacing his tone.
''I was looking for laundry and I found this.'' Rock raised the purple cardboard box and removed the top for both the men to see.
Dutch choked on his coffee and Benny passed out.
''Yeah I thought so too.'' Rock muttered.
Three days back...
Revy wandered the streets of Roanapur in complete and utter boredom. Struggling with an urge to murder someone she puffed harder on her smoke. She looked around hoping to find a suitable target but none would work. Everyone seemed too slow to actually make killing them fun. Besides, killing didn't seem to really satisfy her anymore. Maybe she needed to make more girlfriends like Eda.
Nah. She'd rather kill them and sell their kidneys.
She wandered around some more before ending up inside the Yellow Flag drinking alone. She wondered whether calling Eda over would make things moderately fun but decided against it.
On her third glass, she heard a shrill, annoying, voice.
''What you doing here alone, Twinkie?''
''ugh. Fuck me!'' Revy sighed.'' I could ask you the same damn question Chinglish.''
''I not interested in fucking you'' Shenhua said in her usual cheerful manner,'' but you always with Dumbass. What happen? You two break up?''
''We aren't together! Why does everyone think that?'' Revy exclaimed almost angrily.
Shenhua shrugged and sat down next to her, causing Revy to shift her stool slightly.
''Relax Twinkie, I not here to fight. I here to drink.'' Shenhua said as Bao got her her usual drink.
''What the hell is that?'' Revy asked as she eyed Shenhua's glass.
''Baiju. Wanna try?''
''Nah. I'm good.''
The two woman sat in silence for a while. Revy hadn't taken a sip since Shenhua had arrived. She simply kept staring at her glass with her chin in her palm.
''You look bored.'' Shenhua stated bluntly.'' How many died?''
''None.'' Revy sighed.'' its hard enough dealing with Dutch after that, I don't wanna have to deal with Watsap too.''
''I see.'' Shenhua downed the drink and ordered another.
Another silence took over the two women as they emptied their glasses. Punctuated every five minutes by a sigh that escaped from Revy's lips.
Suddenly Shenhua stood up causing Revy to jerk her head towards her. A little too fast.
''Ow!'' she exclaimed as she rubbed her neck.
''Come with me, Twinkie.'' Shenhua then grabbed her upperarm and dragged her off the stool and out the bar yelling at Bao to put the bill on her tab. And for once Revy didn't struggle. After all, people don't pay your bills everyday.
''Where and why?'' Revy asked suspiciously, which was pretty understandable since they were enemies...most of the time at least.
''You live with three men, and you no fun when you like this.'' Shenhua said as she walked a little ahead of her now. ''you need go out more.''
''Gee, thanks!'' her tone dripped with sarcasm.
After walking for a long time they stopped in front of a store. Revy stared at the huge window and felt her face flush.
''No! Nononono! I'm not going in there.'' Revy turned around to leave but was jerked back by Shenhua as she dragged her inside.
''Nuhuh! Never! Nein! Nope!'' she kept yelling at the taiwanese assassin as Shenhua pulled her inside with a huge grin on her face.
''C'mon!'' Shenhua cackled as she finally managed to drag the red head inside and forced her into a seat. ''just one.''
Thirty minutes later...
Revy and Shenhua walked down the street. Shenhua seemed like her cheerful self while Revy seemed a little annoyed. But definitly not bored.
''If anyone in my crew finds out about this, I'll kill you.'' Revy muttered.
''I kill you first Twinkie.'' she replied. ''Besides they very good for stabbing in the eye or nuts.''
''Thats why I bought them.'' Revy sighed. ''I still can't believe you made me spend most of my money on this.'' Revy raised the purple bag containing the box.
''Thats what friends do Twinkie.'' Shenhua waved at her before strutting off towards her apartment.
''Don't choke to death in your sleep, Chinglish!'' Revy growled after her. Shehua just waved and ignored the pointless threat.
''They'll never let me live this down.'' she sighed.
The fateful day itself...
The box lay on the table, the lid lay next to it. The three men sat around it wondering what the hell was going on.
''Do you think we should worry about her?'' Rock asked.
''I think this may be proof enough that we shouldn't .'' Benny stated.
''Maybe we should ask her about this.'' Rock said.
''And get stabbed in the eye with this thing? I think not!'' Benny exclaimed. ''it can probably go deep enough to puncture the brain anyway.''
''Now that you think about it...that may be why she has it in the first place.'' Dutch rumbled.
''I don't see why she would buy a pair of red 6 inch stilts just to puncture someone's brain.'' Rock stated matter of factly.
''I don't see why she wouldn't.'' Benny countered.
Dutch sighed.
In another corner of the town...
''So what do you think?'' Revy asked as she tried on a pair of orange platforms.
Shenhua shook her head slightly and pointed at the heel. ''They no good for stabbing! They only for show.''
''Yeah? Well how about a steel toed pair.'' Revy replied.
''And sharp steel tip heel too!'' Shenhua exclaimed.
Revy had to admit, being able to do shopping with a friend like an ordinary girl was really fun.
Even if it was for custom heels just to puncture balls.
Tadaaaaa there you guys go. I can't help but find them agreeing on that. Thanks Nani! :)