Piggies and Chicken Soup

I own nothing.

"What the Fuck Dutch?"

The big black man stared calmly at the angry, angry redhead. He was a brave man, a very brave man but he couldn't help but feel glad that they were out of any sort of ammo.

Well, the boat was stocked, but they weren't anywhere near it yet.

Thankfully.

The red-faced, red-head snapped her fingers in front of his face, snapping him out of his reverie. Blinking a couple of times he adjusted his glazed over sight on the rather silly sight before him. What could he say, it wasn't like Revy had let anyone sleep last night with all the frustrated screaming that tends to accompany an itchy her.

"What the hell do you mean I'm not coming?" She screamed, completely disregarding the new temporary rules regarding personal space. Dutch stepped back, not wanting to pick a fight. He mentally kicked himself for not sending Rock to do this job.

"It means, you aren't coming." He stated firmly and adjusted his glasses. "We don't need to all fall sick."

"But I'm not Sick!" Revy bellowed. To think she'd been complaining about a sore throat a while back.

"Alright, let me rephrase that; we don't all need to contract chickenpox." A slight throbbing in his head told of the incoming headache.

"But…"

"No buts. You can take half of Rock's pay." Revy frowned not happy about getting only half of what she could have gotten but at least it was something. Besides all she was doing was sitting on her ass till it went numb.

But she was soo bored.

"Can't I just come?" She pleaded, " and besides you could use my help! Its not we are a that lucky a crew anyway."

"Don't you worry that pretty little head of yours, we hired Shenhua for that and just how exactly do you plan to intimidate people when you resemble a dalmatian?"

Revy was going to implode, so Dutch simply tuned her out till she finished another one of her screaming fits. She was gonna burst something if she didn't get well soon. Which also implied that till she was ill, most around her were safe cause Rock had quietly slipped her guns from her.

Good boy.

Dutch turned to leave and slammed the door shut behind him as she continued to scream like a banshee.

"So! How'd it go?" Benny asked a little nervously as he got up to follow Dutch out the door. Rock got up too before glancing at the door to Revy's room. Concern clearly written on his face.

"I'm alive ain't I?" Dutch smirked at the Japanese and opened the door.

Boy, was he glad he was wearing dark glasses.

The sunlight bounced of the platinum blonde hair and by the sounds of the two employees, it must have been rather bright. He adjusted his sunglasses before asking.

"Babysitting?"

Rock and Benny gaped at The Wizard before Shenhua started cackling from behind him.

"When I asked you for this favor ma'am, I wanted someone reliable enough to not die." Dutch grunted at the Taiwanese assassin, who just smiled at him. Eerily.

"He reliable Dutchy." Shenhua said " and he not die easily."

"Don't call me that." Dutch grunted before bellowing loud enough for Revy to hear.

"Don't kill the sitter Revy, or you can live on tap water."

Another set of screams could be heard and Rotten paled to a perfect match for his hair.

Dutch sighed again. He was doing that a lot lately. If this day got any worse he would hang himself after the job.

Revy buried her face into her pillow after another bout of scratching her back. Or at least trying to. She'd never had chicken pox before and Rock said that was exactly why she had it now. It didn't make sense. Just because she was sporting a full body itch didn't mean she couldn't fight. And what was this personal space law. Why even call it a LAW? And now she was stuck in the building with the god damned gigolo without her cutlass.

She wasn't a baby. And she definitely didn't need a sitter. She wasn't going to leave the room till he left. Lest she have to explain why a certain gigolo was splattered on the ceiling.

Knock knock.

There it was again. That annoying knocking he'd been doing since the last two hours. He was even more annoying than Rock. The crazy ass had been cleaning the kitchen when she had peeked out of the keyhole. (she needed to eat god dammit). Also he had taken out the trash and dusted the living room. OCD anyone?

"Please miss, you need to eat." And was he sounding oh-so-concerned. Did he just call her miss? Didn't he know her name? Oh wait, he didn't. He knew of Two Hands though. "you shouldn't go hungry when you are ill."

Like she cared. Her stomach roared angrily causing her to double over. Okay, so she did care a bit.

"I made some chicken soup." There was a smile in his tone. Smug bastard.

DAMN THIN WALLS.

She huffed and puffed and walked to the door before kicking it open. It usually opened inwards but the hinges decided not to mess with the hungry legend.

Oh! And she stubbed her toe.

"DAMMIT!"

She howled in agony as the blonde looked at her like she had grown a second head. He stood before her with a bowl in his hands. Its aroma danced around her and she very nearly sighed. The pale yellow liquid seemed irresistible and she felt like drooling a little. Rotten's face betrayed no emotion as he held the bowl out to her.

"Hungry?" he asked quietly.

It hadn't been a tough job. Except for a few complications. But the complications were floating around in the ocean in pieces now.

Shenhua was efficient.

He prayed Rotten wasn't floating around in another realm though. Rock and Benny seemed a bit worried too. Opening the door to the office the three men were surprised at the scene before them.

The rooms were sparkling,the trash was missing, the dust was gone, but most of all…..Rotten The Wizard was was alive and well.

"Where's Revy?" Rock asked, slightly worried about his girlfri-uh-partner.

Rotten simply pointed at her bedroom door. Well the door hanging oh her bedroom entrance. Now that was more like it.

Inside the absolutely clean room, on the well made bed lay Revy, snuggling against a pillow and snoring softly.

Rock and the guys took baby steps into the room.

"how did- how cou-HOW?" Rock stuttered.

"Oh!" Rotten chuckled a bit, "I just read her a bedtime story."

Benny reached out for the book lying next to a soup bowl on the makeshift bedside table.

'Three little pigs?" he croaked out.

Dutch's glasses cracked audibly.

No one payed any attention to the white haired man as he pulled on his coat and walked towards the front door. The payment was to be included in Shenhua's pay. Before he remembered something else.

"Oh, and don't have the soup. It may have a hint of ambien in it."

No one bothered to listen as the three men stared open mouthed at the polka dotted redhead mumbling something about huffing puffing piggies and murderous ice creams.

DunDunDun! Reviews are appreciated. Ambien is a sleeping pill.