Derpies in Fairy Tail #42
Chapter 3- Getting Settled
A/N Read and review... also, please write in the reviews any more creative names you can think of for this fanfiction.
Tiffany dragged the last of the furniture into the various rooms.
"OI!" Tiffany screamed, "Aren't any of you gonna help?"
"HELL NO!" Three voices screamed back, "WE SHALL PLAY WITH LE WYVERNS!" Tiffany groaned, of course followed by a faceplant onto the drawer she was currently dragging up the long-ass staircase.
"Why is this so goddamn long?" Tiffany sighed, dragging the drawer up another few steps. "And why the hell do the bedrooms have to be on the third floor?" Pulling the white drawer next to the matching white bed, Tiffany exhaled slowly.
"I'll get the mattresses later." She sighed, "I'm taking a break~" Tiffany stood up, cracking her back before going up the last bit of the spiral staircase.
"Guys, I'm pretty much don-" Tiffany called, stopping mid-sentence at the sight in front of her. "WHAT THE CRAP?!" The room had been cleaned and furnished. There was red carpeting on the floor, and the room was absolutely sparkling (quite literally). Even the wyvern were looking better, all of their wounds had been bandaged up, and Maru (Maddie's wyvern) had been unfortunate enough to have Maddie's cat collar tied around one of his claws. Emma and Circletine had been drawing circles for the past three hours, while Hanna and Lalia were trying to chase away rats.
"... You guys were so much help." Tiffany drawled, heading over to Akuma, "You think we could knock that wall out now?"
I like you brat. Akuma chuckled, most humans wouldn't even think about knocking out walls.
"What can we say?" Tiffany shrugged, "The four of us- we're insane."
"CIRCLETINE!" Emma randomly yelled in the background, jumping onto Circletine. Hanna danced around Lalia in circles, trying to catch the last rat, while Maddie was… putting 'accessories' on Maru (Also, drawing bunnies on his shoulderbone like a tattoo). Akuma stood up, swinging his tail side to side, Tiffany ducked, narrowly avoiding getting hit. Without another warning, the tail swung right up to wall, knocking out quite a large chunk.
"Oh hey look." Hanna pointed, "There's a balcony."
"No duhr Captain Obvious." Emma said, patting Circletine's head.
"Uh guys." Maddie said, "The wall's pretty stable… but we might want to clean this up." Tiffany shrugged, going back down the staircase.
"Whatever, I'm gonna drag the mattresses upstairs now."
"Hey!" Emma yelled, "Aren't you gonna help?"
"I don't want to hear that coming from you…" Tiffany muttered, slamming the Mahogany door behind her.
After the three girls had finally cleaned out most of the rubble, the sun had long set, and they were exhausted. The wyverns were tired as well, they had curled up into balls, and had fallen into a deep slumber. Tiffany yawned, causing a shockwave of yawns to ring around the room- human and wyvern alike.
"Let's go back to the third floor... it's 10:30," said Tiffany, looking at her phone. "I'll plug in the modem so there is wifi..." Maddie yawned, standing up and beginning to leave the room.
Back at the guild…
"Oh god... those 4 didn't come back... do you think they were killed or something?" Mira asked fretting over the girl's safety. Erza nodded, giving a worried frown.
"No, I don't think so," Makarov interrupted, hopping off the counter and onto their table. "There was just something about those four... I have a feeling that they have it under control."
Erza have an understanding nod and excused herself, whereas Mira just bit her lip.
I hope so, Master...
The next day...
"You wished for it, too, the moment I glared at you, such unfortunate souls..." - Outer Science 3
The 4 girls awoke to a creaking door and feet pattering around up the stairs. Defense mode was automatically activated, Maddie grabbing her scissors, Tiffany with a coffee table, Emma had a extension cord stick and Hanna with a lamp. They rushed up the stairs after the noises. When they reached the wyvern floor, they saw a group of ragtag people holding swords and guns.
"We have nobly come to slay these monsters, and they are ASLEEP!?" one groaned.
"Umm, who are-" Maddie began politely, only to be interrupted by Tiffany-
"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?" Tiffany yelled, directing the group's attention to her.
"We have come to slay the drag- wyverns-" One corrected before moving on, "and become the heroes-"
"And heroines!" A girl from the group shouted,
"Yes, and heroines, of Magnolia!" By this time, their loud, irritating squawking had woken Akuma along with Lalia, the biggest wyverns of the group.
What was that? Akuma questioned menacingly, as the 'heroes' started to back away.
"No need to get angry!" One of them stuttered, waving his hands in a 'please don't eat us' way. Tiffany looked at Maddie, Maddie looked at Emma, Emma looked at Hanna, and a series of evil faces spread to the four. Their heads tilted in unison, and a killing intent seeped out of them, causing the mismatched group to shuffle slowly towards the balcony.
"Ah hah…" The girl chuckled nervously, "We'll be going now though." Without another word, the five self-proclaimed 'heroes' jumped out the window and began dashing towards the town.
"And stay the hell out!" Emma and Tiffany called after them, waving a mocking farewell.
"Well," Hanna yawned, trying to blink the last bits of sleep out of her eyes, "That was a great way to start the day."
"Aye!" Maddie shouted, pumping her fist into the air, "Let's get ready to go to the guild!" The four girls rushed downstairs to get dressed, each pulling on their signature outfits. As they reached the second level, Maddie, Hanna, and Emma's mouths were agape.
"TIFFANY WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THIS SHIT?!" They screamed in unison. The kitchen and the living room were decorated with many couches, lamps, there was even a random aquarium… It practically looked like a five-star hotel. Tiffany gave a cough that sounded suspiciously like 'blackmail'.
"You raided a furniture shop, didn't you?" The three deadpanned, Tiffany chuckling sheepishly.
"I called it!" Emma yelled at the top of her lungs.
"Actually," Hanna corrected, "We all said it at the same time."
"Yeah Emma." Tiffany nodded, "Get your facts right."
"Oh hey look~" Maddie interrupted them, "Breakfast!" There sitting innocently on the marble counter (yes, it has to be marble, don't judge) were 4 dishes filled to the brim with pancakes… and strawberries. There were even some bags of meat sitting next to the table.
"STRAWBERRIES!" Emma cried running to the table and began stuffing her mouth full of them, Tiffany followed.
"I get some too, baka!" she ordered, shoving Emma over and sat down, and began to eat like a civilized person. Emma rolled her eyes and sat down, beginning to eat with very few manners. Hanna and Maddie walked over and to started to eat, with way more manners than Emma but a little less civilized than Tiffany.
"This tastes amazing! Who made it?" Hanna said, stuffing her mouth with her poorly cut pancake pieces..
"Tiffany?" Maddie asked to the black-haired girl numming on a strawberry, Tiffany shook her head and continued to eat.
"I can't cook to save my life." Tiffany mumbled in between bites.
"I- Sheay- it waz, the- mm- Wyverns." muffled Emma with pancakes and strawberries in her mouth.
"Eat with your mouth closed and talk when you're done eating that food…" Hanna growled shaking her head. Tiffany raised an eyebrow.
"You think the wyverns can even fit down here?" Tiffany sighed at Emma's stupidity.
"Well.. who made it then?" Hanna asked, confused. Tiffany pointed at the very big microwave.
"I bought a breakfast maker." Tiffany explained, "Since none of us can cook."
"And I'm assuming you stole that too?" Maddie inquired, raising her eyebrow.
"Anyway," Hanna started, "I can cook, too! I'm not that good, but at least I can."
"That's nice." Tiffany said sarcastically, patting Hanna on the head. "But sorry, none of us are willing to risk it." Emma nodded her agreement.
"Anyway," Maddie said, "When we're done, let's go to the guild."
"AYEEE!" The three yelled in agreement, before going back to devouring their pancakes.
As the girls finished eating- no, devouring- their pancakes, they began heading towards the guild. As they traveled on the winding path that lead back to town, they began to practice their magic. Hanna took out a magic pen, and began writing enchantments in midair, occasionally slamming into a wall that she accidentally put up. Emma kept re-quipping her pistol, in and out of existence, causing flashes of light to blink on and off.
"This isn't very effective," Hanna commented, looking at her pen, "We need new magic equipment."
Everybody nodded in agreement as they lapsed once more into silence. When they reached the guild, Tiffany did the honor of opening the door for the group, and the doors swung open to reveal a bunch of mages brawling.
"How did we not see this coming?" Maddie said with an annoyed look as even Tiffany, Emma and Hanna joined in.
"Fight meeeeeeeee!" They heard Natsu said, even though he was already in a battle.
"Kill me now..." Maddie muttered, seeing Hanna walk over to Freed, Tiffany begin chatting/eating strawberry cake with Erza and Emma hugging/crushing Happy.
"OI! YOU BRATS!" Makarov bellowed, changing in an instance from the short old man he was into a tall, towering giant. "STOP FIGHTING!" Everybody stopped dead in their tracks, and Natsu, who had ended up in mid air, belly-flopped onto the ground, still looking at the gigantic Makarov.
"Thank you," the elderly POWERHOUSE said, shrinking size and giving a merry grin. "I'd like to introduce four new guild members. You four go over and get stamps; the rest of you can carry on with your plain, boring lives." Cana rolled her eyes,
"Gee, thanks old man." She said in exasperation as Tiffany, Maddie, Hanna, and Emma made their way over to Mira. Maddie got a purple stamp on her right collarbone (left for her), Emma got a black mark on her right wrist, Hanna got changeling-green above her right elbow, and Tiffany got black on her left arm. Natsu shuffled from foot to foot impatiently.
"Come on!" Natsu yelled, spouting fire, "Let's fight!"
"How about no..." Maddie sweat-dropped. "Let's go get new equipment you guys." The 3 girls nodded and Natsu being who he was, yelled and charged.
BOOM
Suddenly, a giant crash echoed throughout the guild, and 4 giant… objects came flying in through a hole in the roof. As the dust settled, what could only be described as four miniature dragons stood before them.
You little brat. Akuma growled. You dare try to hurt our masters? The guild could only gape on in shocked awe.
"Cool!" Natsu yelled, "It's a dragon!"
I'm a fucking wyvern you rat. Akuma said, flicking Natsu across the guild. Get your facts right.
"Jesus Christ Akuma! I have a picture of that guy in my locker!" screeched Maddie, waving her arms frantically. However, nobody listened to her (I mean, who listens to Maddie anyway?). Lalia continued to stare at the rest of the guild, Circletine kept on flying around in circles (occasionally getting extremely dizzy and crashing into the floor), Akuma kept on insulting Natsu, and Maru just sat there, extremely confused.
"Okay. So do I have this right.. our wyverns decided to crash the guild, Natsu is passed out in the corner, everybody is completely frozen stiff, and we're the only ones that know what's going on?" Hanna asked, listing things off on her hand. "Oh, also, Maddie looks like she is having a seizure?" Emma nodded in agreement.
"Dat sounds about right." She replied, as Tiffany began walking over to Akuma.
"Thanks for helping… but you sort of destroyed half the guild." Tiffany deadpanned, pointing towards the poor ceiling. Bits of loose rubble were still falling, landing on some of the guild heads and causing them to return to consciousness.
"WHY THE HELL ARE THERE DRAGONS IN THE GUILD?!" yelled Gajeel. ¨Because the new members have wyverns,¨ Levy calmly replied; her eyes not leaving her book.
"Oh," Coughed Gajeel and began to choke down some screws.
"Well, can somebody GET THEM OUT BEFORE THEY RUIN THE WHOLE GUILD HALL?!" Lucy screamed, "AGAIN?!"
"Awwww, but that takes effort~" Emma whined.
"Well, rebuilding the guild would take more effort than escorting them out," Freed commented, breaking his silence streak.
"Nuuu! Fine we'll get them out. Come on dude, MOVE!" Emma cried running over to the silver wyvern and began pushing Circletine but the only thing moving was Emma's feet on the ground like a treadmill.
"Lalia, can you and all the other Wyverns go back home? This is our guild, they're not going to try to hunt you guys." Hanna asked the white wyvern, who was being pushed by Emma.
Probably not. Lalia replied, shrugging.
"Why not?!" Gray complained, annoyance in his tone. The whole guild erupted into talking and obvious bickering. Maru face-clawed and curled up on the ground. Maddie lay on Maru's back reading a book, at this point not giving two shits about everyone around her. Tiffany, well, she was still eating cake, leaving the two twins to deal with the situation. Hanna stood completely still, and whipped out her only defense at a time like this.
"SHUT THE HELL UP!" She screamed (from lunchroom experience), giving Maddie a heart attack and causing her to jump and drop her book.
"Nooo! You made me drop Ashfur!" she wailed sadly, reaching down and desperately trying to reach the book, which was trapped between Maru's tail and body.
"Ashfur's ok…" She grumbled, glaring around at the guild.
"Now calm the fuck," Hanna said calmly, letting her eyes scan the room, "Let us explain."
"When we moved into the tower Mira told us about, we found a family of wyverns." Tiffany began explaining, before Maddie took over.
"We couldn't kill them, so we tamed them."
"That still doesn't tell us why there's 4 drag- wyverns in the guildhall." Natsu said, looking at the Derpies with crossed arms.
"Wow, did Natsu actually say something logical?" Gray snickered, receiving a threat from Natsu, followed by a threat from Erza.
"We're sorry!" Hanna apologized.
"Aye!" Emma followed. Before both twins glared at Maddie and Tiffany for not saying anything.
"Hai, hai…" Tiffany muttered, taking another bite of her delicious cake.
"It won't happen again." Maddie drawled, flipping another page in her book.
"We all know that's a lie…" Cana said, not seeming to care that four wyverns just crashed into the guildhall and could talk. The Derpies (in other words, the twins, because the other two had found things to occupy themselves with) just looked around, not knowing what to do.
"Well umm... they followed us? What the hell am I supposed to tell you?" Emma asked, thoroughly confused.
"Would you girls like to take a job?" Mira asked politely, as if completely oblivious to the circumstances.
"HELL YA!" The foursome yelled, sprinting to the mission board, each of them pointing at various jobs they wanted to do.
So, we're cutting this off here, because we really need a good place to stop… and (according to Hanna) CLIFFHANGER FTW. Anyway, R & R… or Akuma, Lalia, Circletine, and Maru will come and hunt you down…