Derpies in Fairy Tail #42
Collaboration Fanfiction: lionstar77 (Maddie), amberleaf4100 (Taffy/Tiffany), Epixnezz101 (Emma), WarriorHorse7 (Hanna)
Chapter 4- Mission
"Vee~" Emma squealed. "Let's go on an adventure!"
"We should go on this one." Hanna said pointing at a job that described finding a lost pet in Worth Woodsea. "It's fairly easy, and it does pay 10,000 jewels."
"Sure." Tiffany shrugged. "Why not?"
"Then it's settled! Maddie will do the work finding it and we'll kill the monsters!" Emma chirped.
"What!?" Maddie screeched, falling off Maru and onto the floor.
"Well, in all honesty." Tiffany started. "I would scare away all the animals, Emma would creep them out with her weirdness-"
"Hey!" Emma interrupted, "I wouldn't creep them o-"
"Yes you would." Tiffany said, cutting Emma off. "Anyway, Hanna would… start… screaming… ponies… and…"
"Alright, alright I get it!" Maddie sighed, throwing her hands up in defeat. "I'll look for the animals, you guys will do all the other jazz!"
"Hey Mira!" Hanna yelled, ripping the mission off the board. "Could we take this mission?"
"Sure!" Mira smiled cheerfully, taking the paper from the girls and stamping it. "Have you guys decided on a team name?"
"Derpies." The four girls replied simultaneously. "We'll be leaving now minna~"
"Oh right, I've been meaning to ask this." Lucy piped up. "But why does Maddie have marker on her face?" (See Chapter 3) Hanna, Emma, and Tiffany burst out laughing.
"Omiglob." Tiffany laughed, clutching her stomach. "She still hasn't noticed."
"What!? AUGH, you jerks!" Maddie shrieked, rubbing her face. She successfully got the marker off... but her face was bright red because of skin sensitivity. "Taffy…"
"Hey!" Tiffany said, raising her hands up in defense. "I actually didn't do it. Emma did."
"Hey! Don't sell me out!" Emma said, patting Hanna's back as she struggled to breathe from laughing so hard. "Hanna, don't die on us."
"Whatever... let's just go find the fricking pet..." Maddie growled. "Maybe then I can actually hang out with a friendly creature…"
Emma gasped. "Did she just call us... un-friendly!?"
"Well." Tiffany shrugged. "I can't deny that."
"Guys, hurry up!" Hanna shouted, getting over her laugh attack, and already standing at the door. "The train to Worth Woodsea leaves in an hour! We still have to go back and pack!"
Later~ After the girls packed and went to the train station...
"When is the train gonna come?" Emma asked, currently sprawled out on a bench. "I'm bored!"
"We all are." Tiffany replied, shoving Emma over a bit. "Now scoot over, all of us wanna sit down."
"How long do you think the train ride will be?" Hanna questioned.
"Forever long," Maddie replied, turning a book page. She suddenly gasped, "OH NO! BRIGHT STREAM!"
"Shut up," Tiffany said dryly.
"NO! SHE'S DEAD!" Maddie sobbed, shaking her book around in a fit.(A/N- Bright Stream and the earlier mentioned "Ashfur" belong to Erin Hunter! :3) Tiffany snatched it away, and shoved it back into Maddie's bag.
"Train's here." Hanna said, pointing.
"But I don't wanna go~" Emma whined.
"Stop acting like a child." Tiffany deadpanned. Emma frowned and trudged on, not excited to spend the rest of her day on a blasted train.
Tiffany shoved Emma into a section and set a dagger in front of her. "Get up and you lose an eye." she stated simply, sitting down and crossing her legs. Maddie stared out the window, knowing she would throw up otherwise.
"I wish there were planes in Magnolia... I don't get sick on those." Emma pouted, reaching for her luggage.
"You get sick on everything BUT planes! At least you don't die like Natsu," Hanna pointed out.
"Ungrateful fool." Tiffany added. "You could just walk there…"
"Nya!" Maddie screeched in alarm. "Holy shit, I just realized… Give me my book back!" Tiffany and Hanna facepalmed at this.
"It's in…" Tiffany started.
"Your bag…" Hanna finished. Maddie blinked, opened her mouth in an 'o' shape, and reached into her bag, pulling out 'Midnight'.
Time skip to when they FINALLY get off the train
(Because we don't wanna bore you with the crap they did)
(And because the authors are too lazy to actually write it)
Damn train!
("' /}
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'U' 00
If the train shows up for you… then… YES THE FORMATTING WORKED!
"SWEET GROUND!" Maddie and Emma exclaimed, face-planting on to the hard cement, possibly injuring their brains even more…
"Are you two done yet?" Hanna groaned.
"Wait..." Emma said, raising her finger (A/N Not the middle one, gosh, you guys and your imaginations) and laid there. Tiffany sighed, before nudging the two with her foot.
"If you guys don't hurry up and move, I'm going to use you as the floor." She drawled, shifting her bag a bit on her shoulders. Emma didn't move, whereas Maddie shot up like a bullet, dusting off her grayish skirt.
"S-s-so, wh-where are we heading off to?" she babbled as Emma took her sweet time.
"Ergh. So, where is it?" Emma asked, staggering to stand up.
"Well… the client was supposed to be meeting us here at the station…" Hanna said, looking at the Mission sheet.
"Hey~" Tiffany whispered, pointing to an extremely tall, fat, bald man who had his back facing towards. "Do you guys think it could be him? I mean, he is the only one here."
"Pff, no way." Maddie asked. "The mission says that the client was young, handsome, and-"
"Why hello girls!" The old man that Tiffany was pointing at earlier came lumbering at them. "Are you the young wizards that were sent from Fairy Tail to find my lost pet?" Maddie and Hanna stared at him in shock.
"Dood~" Emma gasped. "What happened to your hair?"
"Forget his hair." Tiffany said. "Why the hell are you wearing makeup? Are you some sort of transvestite? Or a pedo-" Maddie hurriedly clamped her hand over Tiffany's mouth.
"We apologize for her… rudeness." Hanna said weakly, bowing to the man. "She's REALLY sorry." Tiffany blinked, shoving Maddie off of her.
"I am?" She asked unsurely, before receiving a hit to her rib-cage by Maddie's elbow. "Oh yeah… I am…"
"Don't mind her…" Maddie laughed nervously. "So, what is this animal you need us to find?"
"My cute little puppy, Flowers." He said, bright pink flowers appearing behind him. "She's very sweet and gentle."
"So I believe there is monsters in the forest, correct?" Hanna asked. "Also, may we have the… uh… pleasure… to know your name?"
"Oh! I'm Stephano." He laughed, and this time, bright orange flowers joined the pink ones. "And yes, I hear there is some pretty horrible creatures lurking there. That's why I haven't been able to look for my poor, little darling that's run away."
"I can imagine why." Tiffany muttered underneath her breath so he couldn't hear, causing Emma, Hanna, and Maddie to burst out into snickers.
"Well, I'll be leaving now!" Stephano squealed. "My other lovely pets need my care. Please find my darling as soon as possible!"
"Vee~" Emma squealed, spinning in circles after Stephano left. "Let's go find this dog so we can go home to our wyverns!"
What do you mean back home to us? A booming voice -that sounded suspiciously like Akuma- came from behind the four. You really think that we'd just let you leave without us?
"Maru!" Maddie squealed, running up to her now red-ish wyvern. "And Lalia, Circletine, and Akuma! What are you guys doing here?"
Lalia rolled her eyes in exasperation. You think we'd let our masters travel on their own?
"Um… yes?" questioned Emma, now playing with Circletine.
"Akuma!" Tiffany shouted, craning her neck to look at her wyvern. "Could you let me ride you?" Akuma nodded, reaching his long neck down so Tiffany could climb on. Hanna also took this time to jump onto Lalia's back.
"Shall we start looking now?" Hanna asked, as Lalia stood up and started walking towards the forest.
"TO NARNIA!" Maddie yelled, Maru rushing forward, before taking a leap into the air and hovering. "Hey Maru, did you learn how to fly?"
When Tiffany cut the chains. And when Akuma threw me into the air. he stated.
Hey! Hatchlings waste time! I had to make him learn somehow! Akuma defended.
"So, you decide to chuck your child into the air." Tiffany and Emma deadpanned, as the four all began slow-clapping. "Nice parenting…"
In my defense as the mother. Lalia said, leaping into the air. I regret mating him, and I also tried to stop him.
What's that supposed to mean? Akuma growled, also taking flight.
But ma, you did that to me too! Circletine cried out, slowly flapping her battered white wings to join the others..
Shh… that's our secret young un'. Lalia said, hushing Circletine.
"I-" Hanna began. "Can safely assume that our wyverns are insane as well."
"Well." Tiffany said. "Took you long enough."
"Hey look!" Maddie yelled, trying to make her voice heard over the howling wind. "I think I see a dog over there!"
"Where?" Emma shouted back. "I don't see it!"
"It's in that clearing over there." Tiffany pointed. "How can you not see it? It's literally a giant brown dot."
"Uh huh." Hanna nodded. "Even Tiffany and I can see it. It's like our eyesight's gotten better since we've gotten here."
"Oh yeah…" Tiffany said, putting her hand to her chin thoughtfully. "Now that you mention it, I haven't been running into trees lately." The four wyverns along with their riders swooped down towards the forest. As they got closer , they could see a small brown puppy barking and jumping.
"I think that's Flowers!" Hanna called.
"No shit, Sherlock!" Maddie yelled back.
"Heyyyy! Sherlock is mine!" Emma whined.
"Oh shut up." Tiffany said flatly, her mood foul because of the wind blowing her long hair all over the place.
As the wyverns descended, Maddie leaped off prematurely and ran over to the puppy. Once about 10 feet away she called to it- whereas the others were finally catching up.
"Flowers! Come here, cutie!" Maddie chirped. The dog turned around and growled, causing Maddie's mouth to drop. "E-eh?" She stuttered as the dog began to grow to a monstrous size. Before anyone could react, an even more terrifying-and gross- sight happened. The dog (also known as Flowers) slowly grew two heads that began to drool and roar. And as if that wasn't terrifying enough, three tall, rugged bears stepped out into the clearing. Their pelts splattered with blood, and their claws still had flesh on them.
"Holy shit!" Hanna, Maddie, and Emma yelled, all running to hide behind Tiffany.
"What the fuck am I?" Tiffany asked, irritated, as she pulled out her machete. "Your shield? It's just a bear-" Before she could finish, lasers shot out of the bear's eyes, nearly missing them by inches.
"I take that back." Tiffany said. "Requip!" Her machete was replaced by a giant scythe. Similarly, the other three also pulled out their weapons.
"Requip!" Emma yelled, an AK-47 appearing in her hands. "Sweet!" Hanna pulled out her pen and began writing runes.
"I'll get a barrier set up around us." She said.
"Animal Soul!" Maddie yelled, a bright light engulfing her, and as the light faded, the other three merely stared at her.
"Maddie." Tiffany deadpanned. "I hate to break this to you, but you're a really small Shiba Inu."
"Bark! Arfff!" Maddie barked.
"What did she say?" Emma asked. An explosion occurred from behind them.
"Forget that!" Hanna yelled. "The enchantment's gonna wear off soon, you do know that, right?"
"Where the hell are our wyverns?" Emma asked looking around. "Oh shiz did they ditch us?"
"They're not healthy enough to fight yet." Tiffany explained, inspecting the area around them. "They're going to a slightly safer place."
The dog didn't seem to be attacking them, only those bears were slowly- but surely- gaining on them, trying to knock down Hanna's barrier.
"I can't hold a barrier up for four people!" Hanna yelled, her voice getting a bit strained. "Tiffany get out!"
Tiffany glared at the mage, before relenting, and stepping outside the shield, and she watched as the barrier shrunk to accommodate the three. The bears instantly leaped at her, and she swung her scythe clean through not one, but two. The last bear shot lasers again at her, causing her to dodge and roll. Before she could turn to the other one, a shot rang through the clearing, and the bear slumped to the floor, dead.
"Whoop!" Emma cheered. "I got one!" Tiffany sighed in relief, and Hanna let down the runes.
Maddie immediately ran over to Flower, and they started barking (well, one side growling) at each other. Before long, Maddie's magic had worn off, and she had changed back to human. She was petting a now normal sized Flower's head, when she noticed.
"Guys!" She gasped, "Look! She has puppies!"
"COOTE!" Emma screeched, re-quipping her gun out existence, before rushing over with Hanna not far after her. Tiffany however, had climbed up a tree-and a tall one at that.
"AKUMA!" She yelled, her voice carrying on the wind. "YOU GUYS CAN COME BACK NOW!"
Maddie sweat-dropped, picking up a puppy. "Did you really need to climb the tree...?"
"Yes, it was completely and utterly necessary." Tiffany replied, jumping off said tree and landing besides the other three. "Don't judge."
"No-one will, calm your tits." Emma said, also joining Maddie and Hanna in petting Flower. She was slapped in the face. Hard.
"Should we get Flower back to the client?" Hanna asked, still cuddling the thing. While Emma was holding her cheek that had just been Bitch-slapped by Taffy and walked with them, with a mad derp face of pain on.
"Oh hell no!" Maddie said, clutching closer to Flower, struggling to stay on her back as the rest of the wyverns-who were walking in the back with Tiffany-glared on with jealousy. "The poor thing would be smothered by that fat man!"
"Arf, arf arf!" Flower barked, pushing her two pups forward.
She says. Akuma translated, the only dragon unfazed by the attention given to the dog. That she'll be fine, and that she needs someone to take care of her and her pups anyway.
"But, but." Maddie sobbed, putting her puppy dog eyes on. "Why can't she come back with us~?"
"Maddie, need I remind you that I'm not letting our house become an animal shelter?" Tiffany said, poking her with the butt of her machete.
"Also, dogs aren't allowed on the train, and the wyverns can't take her back, it would be too risky." Hanna pointed out, picking up both of the puppies so that they could move faster.
"But!" Emma also began to whine. "Can we at least get a cat or something when we get back to Magnolia? Oh, oh! Or a-"
"Hai, hai." Tiffany sighed, pushing all four of them (including Flower) forward. "Let's get going, the sun's about to set."
Back at the Train Station
"How are we supposed to contact Stephano?" Hanna asked, staring around the train station in annoyance. "I want to go home to my breyers!"
"Oh!" A creepy voice sounded from behind them, causing all of the girls to shiver and huddle closer to Flower (the wyverns had already begun to head back to Magnolia). "You've found Flower! Thank you so much!"
"You're welcome…" Maddie said glumly, reluctantly letting the fluffy labrador go.
"Thank you darlings!" Stephano giggled, handing over a bag of jewels to Emma, and scooping up Flower and her two puppies. "I'll call you girls if I ever need help finding a pet!"
"Well." Tiffany said dryly. "I know we'll be back soon." Emma groaned, as she saw the last train of the day pull into the station.
"Do I have to ride… that thing?" She asked in utter disgust. Handing over the bag of jewels to her twin sister, since everyone knew she would lose all of the money if she held onto it.
"Yes." The other three chorused in unison, already used to this. "Now move before we decide to let you walk back."
"Okay! Okay! I'm moving!" Emma yelped, jumping onto the train and plopping down in one of the sections as the rest of the girls followed her.
"So, what should we do with this money?" Hanna asked, shaking the bag, causing the jewels inside to jingle.
"Well." Tiffany said. "We could split it 250 jewels for each person. Sadly… that's only 25 US dollars."
"Maybe we could use it to buy new magic equipment?" Maddie asked, pulling out her book.
"We should pool it and then buy. Because say- a magic ericture pen is more expensive than a simple bullet-enhancer," Hanna explained.
"Aww, but I wanted a custom made twin pistol like my other one." Emma said hanging her head in shame. "Not a bullet-enhancer."
"Hell no! Are you mad? Those things are like... so freaking expensive!" Maddie yelled.
"Guys…" Tiffany said. "You know, I think we should talk about this after we get more money. I mean, we still need money to buy train tickets and such."
"I'll probably use 100 jewels and buy food for you dorks with the rest..." Maddie trailed, thoughtfully.
"We can make cosplay costumes ourselves." Tiffany pointed out. "Also, I suppose we won't really need transportation fees. Once the wyverns heal, we could just ride them."
"WOAH WOAH WOAH. Cosplay?! I WANNA DO THAT!" Emma and Hanna yelled in twin sync.
"We should do a villain theme." Maddie started. "Like, anyone you want…"
"ZANCROW-BBY!" Hanna yelled, throwing her hands up into the air.
"I call Cobra!" Emma shouted, "Notice me senpai!"
"I call Meredy!" Maddie said, before everyone turned to look at Tiffany.
"What?" She asked.
"Jellal." Emma whispered for her.
"Oh." Tiffany blinking in realization. "You guys have been planning this, haven't you?"
"Yup!" They three others sang in unison, causing Tiffany to sigh deeply and sink her head into her palms.
END! Next chapter- Well, cosplay+Fairy Tail guild members. Just imagine the chaos that will happen… We'll see ya then! -Derpies